If you scold me again, I'll kill you.

1, my wife suggested: In the future, we will respect each other. I will get rid of the bad habit of swearing, and you should not hit people easily, okay? The husband agreed: OK, if you scold me again, I will kill you! The wife shouted angrily: bastard, don't you dare!

The bowl in this noodle restaurant is really big, which can cover the whole face. I picked up the bowl and took a sip of soup. I just put it down and found that the mobile wallet on the table was gone.

3. Do you eat bitter gourd? No, radish? No pumpkins Do not eat sweet potatoes? Do not eat rapeseed head? No celery? If you don't eat, you don't eat anything. Are you picky about food? I'm not picky about food! I eat all kinds of meat!

There is a three-year-old daughter at home. I hit the child while playing in the garden downstairs today. When his wife brought home, she was punished to stand in the corner and think 15 minutes, thinking about her mistakes. Invite her to dinner after crying, and turn off her mother's TV when she comes over. Seeing that her mother is going to be angry, shout at once, you say, you are not allowed to watch TV while eating. My wife looks stupid, and I'm already spitting.

5. The four virtues of contemporary youth: information comes back in seconds, appointments are on time, money is paid back on time, and people don't mind their own business.

6, just checked, 7 1 1. So many years of silent efforts have finally paid off, getting up early, getting greedy, worrying, and even forgetting to eat and sleep, in exchange for today's achievements. Thank you for every effort and effort. Opportunities are always given to those who are prepared. I will always remember these efforts and serious teaching. Wherever I go, I will never forget this kindness. By the way, I checked the Alipay sesame credit score, and I don't know how much you are.

7. Son, I'm leaving. Oh, I'll be right back. Whoops, don't go! Well, the computer password is 8080. Have a nice trip!

8. Once I was driving on the road, because I was a novice, I drove very slowly. A car honked its horn in the back, and I was annoyed by his horn. So I took the toy gun I bought for my son out of the window and pointed it at him. I saw the car behind me suddenly brake. Forget it. I'm going to take a statement

9. Teacher: Tell us a story about a race between a tortoise and a rabbit. Why did the rabbit lose to the tortoise? Xiaoming: Because it sleeps. Teacher: Exactly! What can we do to keep the rabbit awake? Xiaoming: Turn the tortoise into a wolf. Teacher: See what you can do. Get out!

10, the family is watching work. The job seeker is a man, standing in the center of the stage, and a row of entrepreneurs opposite are turning off the lights, just like if you are the one. My mother happened to be there, and she asked me in surprise: Are all men choosing men now? !