The dream of spring is gone.

Is it particularly easy to dream in spring? I'm not sure about this, but I know it's not a dream of spring.

Because when I woke up, I found myself sleeping so well that it was hard to imagine that I struggled in my dream all night without disturbing the beautiful women around me. In addition, as we all know, men's spring dreams can be traced back.

I told my girlfriend with mixed feelings that I had a dream.

She tilted her face and stared at me with curious eyes. In the future, Aidit asked, "Did you dream of me?"

"No." I said.

She rolled over and pointed her ass at me.

I told her that in my dream, I was in a corner with charming light and had been reading a bunch of dead people's books.

Generally speaking, the dead are thorough and clear. Don't distort, flatter or pretend to be forced. There is nothing black or white in the world. When you meet a ghost, you talk nonsense. Moreover, these people were not dead when writing these books, so they should be more thorough and clear! I can even imagine the peace when they die. People can live like this, but it's hard to die with their eyes closed.

When I was a child, I often stared at death. I don't know why it appeared, but I'm sure it happened right beside me. I don't know when I will follow in its footsteps. I just imagine that I will disappear when it comes. Everything around me will still work normally. I can still see my relatives, study their smiles and observe them doing familiar things in familiar places.

But can they still find me? I don't think so. This kind of argument makes me feel sad. They think nothing, and I can't be felt. I'm afraid I won't feel anything, which is more unbearable than pain!

Later, I yearned for the distance, liked fantasy, thought hard, and thought of the universe and infinity. So I began to doubt and worry. People are immortal, so why bother? We have an infinite universe, an infinite world and an infinite continuation ...?

Unwilling, the universe and eternity are infinite, and I am limited like everyone else. Like all knowledge, the more you know, the more you know what you don't know. Like all philosophies of life, the more you know, the more you look like an orphan in this world, and the more ignorant you feel.

Later, when I realized that this infinity only belongs to particles, protons, photons and other energy substances in a free state, but not to humans with a whole structure, I sighed. In that case, why use a hammer?

I cocked my head, brushed the soft black hair from my girlfriend's ear and told her about it softly.

She replied, "You swore again."

Women are lovely creatures. They will correct your wording in time when you think about life and discuss it, and will reveal to you that the question of strangers is the core part of their greatest concern for the topic named after life. No wonder those real masters, great writers, great poets, great artists, people who are good at thinking about life and trying to explore the mysteries of life usually find it difficult to have a normal family life, a normal relationship between husband and wife and a normal sex life.

I can't imagine infinite life and eternal life, but I guess it will be boring, at least in our present situation. Thought is above everyone's unbearable body. Since we can't break away from the limited mode of thinking, we can't enjoy unlimited life fun.

Like all people, I came to this world at different times and left this world at different times. If nothing happens, my grandmother will die in front of my father, my father will die in front of my stepmother, and my stepmother will die in front of me. If we find a girl younger than me and grow old together, she may die behind me. If a child is born, he (she) will die behind us. If nothing goes wrong, the problem will be simple.

But this is not a simple question, we have to think, we need to do our best in this game before we die, desperately looking for the goal and tracking the direction. Then he went blind and began to look back at those who left us.

The world is in chaos, and so will the future world. There is no traction, no Buddha, and the gods only shuttle in the dark. So I looked for the basis in the book and understood the problem from the words of the pioneers. So I believe that there are souls in this world, and they communicate with me from infinite time and space.

Of course, it is unreasonable to talk about this, and I don't have the ability to communicate with God, so I can't use the word communication, which is also unreasonable. My present situation, to be exact, is in communication. Seeing this and realizing this level, you should also know your own situation. You are now in a state of being communicated by me. This kind of situation seems very common, but it has little effect.

Generally speaking, you have to see some words or pictures to have a sense of shock like being struck by lightning This is not to say how bloody, pornographic or touching your nerves are, so you are shocked. Because, the process of these things running on you is roughly the same as excretion. I mean something more advanced than excretion. When I come into contact with them, I have no doubt that the ideas (including opinions, behaviors and personalities) they reflect are exactly the same as yours. Here, it is also different from education or brainwashing. It takes a process to integrate these into your mind. The former does not need this process. To put it simply, you first had this idea and believed it (regardless of other people's opposition), and then came into contact with it by chance, just like a mountain meets running water, and your body feels the soul, then you should admire it and admire it openly in your heart!

As for this feeling of admiration, it is still necessary to experience it personally, so it is better to write the content of this topic carefully.

I didn't tell my girlfriend that a plump and charming beauty appeared in my dream.

This is unimaginable!

This woman is reckless in my dream. She is obviously dressed, but I can clearly see her naked body. Her strong and huge breasts, graceful waist and white and textured figure were all exposed by my sharp eyes. This makes me understand that it is oneself who turns right from wrong, and it is not dreams that do whatever it takes. Dreams are naive and sincere.

Frankly speaking, I don't like such plump breasts.

There is nothing wrong with this, just like some people like to eat chicken legs and some people like to eat chicken buttocks. And I simply think that this pair of organs is too big, which will lead to a higher chance of getting breast cancer. I like fit, fit is comfortable, comfort is long-term, long-term does not mean infinite, but suitable for limited enjoyment.

I cut out the exposed part of women and told these thoughts to my girlfriend who was going to sleep in a cage.

Her voice came faintly from the quilt: "Do you think mine is suitable?"

"Suitable." (expressing surprise, shock, etc.)

"I don't believe it."

"At least it suits you." ?

She said discontentedly, "I won't tell you."

So, when the woman in my dream approached me slowly, I saw her face clearly, but I was suddenly surprised.

This woman, no, I should say this girl, so I won't feel so awkward. I felt guilty when I really saw her face. This girl is the first opposite sex I admire in primary school.

I remember seeing her for the first time. I feel as if her eyes will glow, and I also feel that my eyes will glow. When we two luminaries meet again, she looks so bright and I am so dim. At the moment, she is pressing hard, and I am sticking to the last line of defense. What needs to be explained here is that at this moment, she is no longer suitable for the word "girl". It would be a great sin for such a smelly woman to call her a girl. I figured it out a little, too. Since the newcomer is not good, I can't turn a blind eye. I'm not a good man or a good woman at best! It can't be too routine and boring, only nerds do it, because there is no shop after this village!

If her beauty can be compared with the stars outside the earth, I will never regard her as a creature inside the earth. But if she and I are not the same creatures on earth, what shall we do? This question really hurts my head. I think I am really pedantic.

Finally, I couldn't see her body, and her neat image immediately relaxed me. At this time, I also saw a little boy of five or six years old beside her, holding her beige skirt tightly with slender hands, looking at me timidly, pouting and full of stubbornness.

Obviously a clever little guy!

She said to me in a slightly trembling voice, "I got married and gave birth to a son, but my relationship broke down." Say that finish, she gently stroked the little boy's shiny head. The boy looked up and stared at his mother with a pair of innocent eyes, as if thinking about the meaning of what his mother said.

Actually, I don't quite understand what she told me. Whether her feelings are broken or her jaundice is broken, it has nothing to do with me. But I'm not worried. Whether it is unreasonable or not, the child in front of me can never be mine.

However, there is no problem with this matter. It is a miracle that two independent individuals can be together for a long time. After love burns, it is you who give in to him and he gives in to you. He may want to strangle you, and you may want to cut him with a knife. Since they can't get along after all, it's civilized to split up now. At least, it did not cause casualties and panic to the society. To be honest, there is hard work without merit.

Although you have children now, it's because of you. The child is well educated and fat for nothing. Of course, a large part of this credit is also yours. In the future, children will grow up and become dragons and phoenixes, and naturally you will have boundless merits. As for him, the credit is nothing to him at best.

I tried to comfort her with these words, but as soon as my eyes touched her face, I couldn't say it.

The beauty of a woman, sometimes like a loaded gun, is instantly fatal to men, and it is a key part. But I can't sympathize with her at the moment, because she used to be my idol. Idols can't be pitied. Idols always stand at their own height. Although I don't understand why I thought she was my idol, since I did, I won't hesitate.

Now I understand that this word is obviously inappropriate for her, because I finally found my idol, at least I know the direction of their existence. And she, if she had to explain it, had to be vaguely judged as the object of occasional sexual fantasies at first.

I was surprised at her appearance, but she was obviously much calmer than me. She walked up to me with light steps and asked me, "What are you looking at?"

Her voice is still so beautiful, so close to me, as if it brushed my face, then got into my ear hole and almost killed a deer in my heart.

I buried the author in my hand and replied smartly, "Reading."

She smiled knowingly, which made her look as young and beautiful as before. I think my intelligence will plummet to a negative value soon, so I just stare at her with eyes full of artistic bacteria.

It is estimated that her immunity to being seen by me began to decline, so she had to ask again, "What are you looking at?"

"A book, a classic anthology describing the most beautiful woman in the world." I still looked her in the eye.

She smiled: "Time magazine?"

I said, "Which one do you think matches?"

Then she smiled at me again, held out a hand and said, "Let me take you somewhere."

I wanted to feel the temperature of her hand first, so I held out half an evil paw and hesitated: "Where to?"

In a blink of an eye, I was taken to a village. Strangely, the boy disappeared at this time. She took me to a bush, when a full moon was already hanging in the clear night sky, and all the leaves were covered with silver gray. In this silver world, everyone feels like floating when walking.

Without saying a word, she walked silently towards the dark Woods ahead, and I followed her silently. Although no one said anything, I knew what she was thinking, because I was thinking something, too.

Suddenly, she turned to look at me, her eyes became very soft, and her eyes seemed to be full of wet water. Staring at each other for a while, I looked around and broke the silence of the night: "Where is this?"

She closed her eyes, faced the moonlight and took a deep breath. For a long time, a sweet voice seemed to float from the air: "How beautiful!"

I can't help it She was really beautiful, so I praised her, "Yes, yes!" "

She smiled happily, tied her hands behind her back, and stood on tiptoe to paddle small steps back and forth on the soft grass. Her laughter caused a "sloped" sound in the Woods, and a group of black birds took off from one tree head and landed on another.

She still smiled and said, "You are much more humorous than I expected."

"I also appeared in your imagination? This sounds a bit incredible. "

She pooped, pulled me up and ran up the hill. The mountain was very cold at night, and I was sweating after running for a while, which made me feel that clothes were really an eventful autumn. When we stopped, my legs were a little unbearable. She runs so hard that I really doubt that she is coming to the end of her life.

I watched her panting and blushing, and slowly walked up to her and said, "You really know how to run."

"You can't run." She turned her head with a child's naughty look in her smug expression.

"It's no problem to run another ten kilometers."

Cowhide is not afraid of being blown up, and I can't stand the toss if I really want to run. I quickly thought about the countermeasures: if she wants to continue running, I have to say that there is a hole in the sole, but this statement cannot be verified. I have to say that this is already a hill, and there is no road ahead. But if she suggests that we run again, it's no joke. Or, I pretend to be romantic, in fact, this position has a wonderful view. Let's enjoy the moonlight here. She might say, I want to go to the hill closer to the moon in front and see more clearly. Women like to do this. I don't know. She'll let me pick two stars, so I'll have to throw caution to the wind. After thinking about it, I feel that there is no hope of winning. Cowhide can't be taken back when it is blown up.

Suddenly, she sighed: "It's a pity that we can't run out of this world."

I smiled and said, "How is that possible? The world was born for us. We can enjoy it without running away from it. "

She giggled: "really ... well, we, that's a good word." As Andy left Rhett in The Shawshank Redemption,' Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things. Good things never die! We, the word stands for hope, which means the same thing. "

She began to wander around the hill again, as lively as a girl.

During the conversation, I learned that her husband was born in a famous family and had a rich educational background. I only remember that she read a lot of headlines and couldn't remember the contents in front. That man is outstanding in appearance, burly, gentle and handsome, and handsome in appearance. No bad habits. No one is perfect, just a little addicted to gambling, smoking marijuana, but rich, so he is not an ordinary gambler. He is a successful man in the upper class. In short, in today's words, he is a real Gao Fushuai. However, the reason for their rupture has nothing to do with these. Similarly, as a man, at this time to maintain the dignity between male compatriots, so this kind of thing is hard to say.

At this time, her breathing suddenly became a little short, her face appeared a little shy blush, almond eyes stared at me, and the deer in her heart began to run again.

Looking at her breasts falling together, like a pair of elves jumping up and down. The long skirt fluttering in the evening breeze feels like waving to me. ...

A picture of deja vu suddenly appeared in my mind, and I suddenly felt a little numb in my scalp. She looked at me, her sexy lips cocked up from time to time, as if to say something to me. But I didn't listen to a word. I don't know what I'm doing. Maybe I have a monster in my heart, fighting the deer.

Later I said to her, "Do you want a whore?"

She suddenly froze, and so did I. I don't know why this sentence came up. I thought she was going to be shy, or she was going to gag me. But she said, "What do you mean by prostitute?"

This finally relieved me.

I told my girlfriend about it, and she was about to climb out of the quilt and turn on the computer, and then shrank back.

She generously asked me, "Your primary school lover?"

"No."

"No, what's her name?"

I said quietly, "Kate Winslet."

"Cut." She said, "You are daydreaming! My dream lover is still Leonardo, so let's have a competition. "

I said, "Well, I despise you."

In this way, the previous paragraph died, and you must be very flustered when you see it here. Maybe you should scold me for pretending. Maybe you should praise me. Dressed appropriately. All this is easy to say, but I need to make it clear that this arrangement is because I can't forget the boy who appeared in it, and I will use him as a cover to write the following content. If I gave it to his mother in the last article, there are two things wrong when it is in line with the weather, location and people. First, my girlfriend will definitely come to verify the authenticity of my dream. Secondly, if I fuck that boy's mother, I have no face to take him as a cover.

As mentioned above, it is clear and white. Of course, this explanation is completely selfish and can't meet everyone's requirements. After all, I am not a kiln worker.

Let's take that boy as an example.

I don't know why, but I think he looks like a friend of mine. Although we have lost any contact now, I don't know where he lives and how he is doing.

He was my childhood friend named Xu Zhen. What I remember deeply at that time was that his face and body always appeared in front of me with bruises of different colors. I never asked him where these leopard-print things came from. Actually, I'm curious too, but I just don't have the courage to ask. He never mentioned it, but I always asked him if he was in pain with great concern. He just shook his head and said, "No."

Once, we caught loach to play by the river.

It was a scorching afternoon, and we moved barefoot back and forth along the slippery soil by the river, digging out piles of suspicious soil from the water and concentrating on finding life inside. We put the caught loaches into plastic bottles, and their smart and slippery bodies and gray mud were thrown into this transparent cage. Sometimes we catch some earthworms, but we all put them in one category.

The sinister sunshine made our delicate skin red, and Xu Zhen simply took off his clothes: "Let's go into the water."

I saw at least a dozen bruises of different colors on his delicate and smooth skin. To tell the truth, it's so dense and covered with bruises, not to mention that age, even if it appears on me now, I will keep my waist down with pain. It seems that he doesn't care about anything, and it still hurts to remind me.

Xu Zhen's personality is very similar to mine. He doesn't like to talk much. Others don't pay much attention to what they say and rarely conflict with other children. Only once, I saw Xu Zhen fighting with three older children. The four of them were entangled because Xu Zhen was desperately pulling one of the three older children by the collar, and the other two tried to pull him away from him, but he just clung to it. The two next to him had no choice, so they kicked his ass and threatened, "Will you let go?"

Xu Zhen answered silently, but still refused to let go of the boy he caught. The boy was a little anxious and grabbed Zhen Xu's arm and bit him. I heard Xu Zhen give a cry, but he held on tighter and even wrapped his leg around the boy. Then he let out a cry even more bitterly, showing me some blood spots on Xu Zhen's arm, and the boy bit him again. I waved my fist and rushed over with my head covered.

After a burst of confusion, everyone finally put down their posture. The three boys also walked in the opposite direction to us, but Xu Zhen got up from the ground again and tried to catch up. The three boys made faces, grinned at us and ran away.

Xu Zhen dragged his legs after a few steps, but he still couldn't catch up. He panted and shouted, "Your mother is shameless." ?

When they ran away, Zhen Xu sat on the ground and began to cry. This is the only time I have seen him cry. Now that I think about it, what kind of helplessness and anger it is to cry.

That day by the river, he took off his clothes and plopped into the water, so did I. We are all children who grew up by the river and have been familiar with water since childhood. In the water, I touched a few big bruises on his back and asked him if he hurt. I expected that he would still answer innocently, but this time he didn't speak.

It was a long time before he spoke. He asked me, "Did your father hit you?"

I said, "Yes." Although I also guessed that the situation would be like that, I dare not imagine that his father would be so cruel, and it seems that injuries are so frequent.

"Do you often get into trouble at home? Why does your father always hit you? "

"We are friends. You will not tell anyone, will you? "

I was so emotional that I held out my little finger and said, "Pull the hook. If I tell others, I am a dog, a black dog. "

He smiled: "Hook!"

In fact, Xu Zhen's parents' feelings have been bad, and I could feel it at that time. He is not a happy child. In his eyes, I often feel a kind of sadness and loneliness that should not appear in children of that age. When I grow up, I gradually understand that this is an intuition. Intuition is often just an erratic feeling caused by the sudden interaction of senses and brain nerves. No logic, no analysis, but sometimes very accurate. It's what happens between people of the same kind.

It is conceivable that it is not uncommon for parents to vent their emotions on their children. But in Xu Zhen's mouth, I learned that the cause of the incident was because he told the truth.

On a cloudy afternoon, because of the rehearsal of the school sports meeting, all the other students had an early holiday. Xu Zhen returned home, the living room was quiet, and his father was still working hard in the unit. When he walked back to his room and passed his mother's room, a faint voice came from the half-opened door. He thought it was a thief at home, and his heart was suddenly surprised. After hesitating for a moment, he didn't run out to shout, but peeped through the door with one eye with a curious and timid psychology. What caught his eye made his pupils suddenly enlarge, as if he had been shocked, and he was at a loss.

A strange naked man squatted on a naked woman with fairy skin, and his two bodies kept shaking. The moaning fairy has the same face as her mother. You can see a very enjoyable expression from a man's side face, while a woman's voice is faint and gentle. Xu Zhen felt that the voice was both familiar and unfamiliar. At that time, we didn't know there was another word to describe this kind of voice, lewd.

He didn't know what was happening in front of him, but he suddenly felt a strange and surprising fear. He sneaked out of the house like a thief, wandering alone in the street, his mind at a loss. The images of two bodies shaking constantly, like an unforgettable movie, kept flashing in front of his eyes.

Later, Xu Zhen told his father about it alone. He doesn't know what this means or what the consequences will be. He just told a fact, with doubts and the psychology of seeking the truth.

His father beat him up at that time. Xu Zhen's father is not a rough and strong man, but he is always a knowledgeable and gentle man on weekdays. But instead of beating around the bush like this, it is better to say more directly that his father is actually a very cowardly person.

In fact, Xu Zhen's father always knew that his wife was misbehaving, and he also heard some criticisms from others. But his father was always unknown, and he didn't even dare to question his wife, nor did he dare to ask her to give a counterattack to those nonsense grandchildren. Her mother is very natural and graceful about it, and this group of idle people has the final say. Sometimes when someone talks too much, his father will frown and say, "You have no evidence, so why are you still talking nonsense here?"

I bet that even if his father saw his wife having an affair with another man, he wouldn't pay attention as long as the other party didn't find out. He is just afraid that if this happens, he should bow his head and admit his mistake like a thief caught red-handed, or he should find a hole and just get in. This can be seen from the way he beat his son. Whenever he beat up his son who told him the truth, the dignity and glory of that kind of person were vividly displayed.

There is no denying that he loves his wife very much. His love is so selfish, so cowardly, so humiliating and so extreme. If all this, without the factor of son arrival, would be perfect. He is used to living in such a world of two people. Whenever he has sex with his wife, he always feels that it is his first experience with her, and it is so pure and beautiful, as if they are always lovers who taste the forbidden fruit for the first time.

His mother never knew that Xu Zhen had discovered her scandal or that Xu Zhen had been beaten. Once she found a big bruise on Zhen Xu's arm and asked her sternly if she had fought with someone else. Xu Zhen bowed his head and was silent. Her eyes immediately showed her mother's concern. She put Zhen Xu's hand on her chest with one hand and stroked Zhen Xu's injured part with the other. Then she said to Zhen Xu, "Go to the room and get the medicine, and mom will help you rub it."

Zhen Xu went to the room with tears in her eyes to get medicine, and her lips were bitten by trembling teeth with a crimson blood stain.

That day, after chatting with me, Xu Zhen asked me in a casual tone: "Did I do something wrong?"

I was stunned and said, "No."

"Next time I see it, I will say it."

"Of course, I would say the same thing."

After a while, I asked again, "What if he hits you again?"

"I'm not afraid." He seems to have suddenly realized something.

"But I'll hide next time."

I asked again, "Did you tell your mother that your father actually knew about it?"

"No ..."

Say that finish, he bowed his head, no words, seems to be lost in thought. My mind is a little melancholy, but it is blank. Of course, we haven't figured out any way. We are too young to resist and change things and push them in another direction. We soaked in the water for a long time, and the sky soon darkened, like a sudden disaster, and we were caught off guard. We didn't go ashore until the river turned black.

Xu Zhen and I separated when we entered the fifth grade of primary school. He transferred to another school and I haven't seen him since. Slowly, I have a new partner, and he has faded from my memory. It was not until I grew up that such a thing happened around me, but I didn't say it. I know why, but I still don't know if this is correct.

Then I pulled Xu Zhen out of my memory like a black hole. Now I understand why he only told his father separately. I should have thought the same thing in the river. But I still want to ask him, if it were him now, would he still tell the truth so simply and directly?

At the same time, I hope he has a good life now.

I told my girlfriend all this and asked her if I made up the story well.

She said it was not good at all. She told me to cut the crap and write my novel. I think what she said is reasonable. Just to prove that I can pretend to be a grandson Novels are not so easy to write. Do I think it's enough to make up a story casually, sit in the heating room and knock on the keyboard, which makes my fingers cramp and my eyes blind, plus some petty bourgeoisie? Although some people will see these things, in my conscience, what the fuck are these things? Don't tell anyone, I'm ashamed to see it myself.

However, I'm a little tired now, and I can't play these things well, but I still have to write a novel. I don't care whether I like reading them after reading them.