What differences did you have with your mother-in-law in parenting style, and how did you finally solve them?

Like most precious mothers, I will have differences with my mother-in-law because of different parenting concepts. Take myself as an example. After the birth of the child, I have different opinions on whether to breastfeed the child, whether to overprotect the child and whether the mother-in-law should interfere with my discipline.

Let me talk about these differences between my mother-in-law and me, and how I finally solved them.

The first thing is whether to feed the children.

My son is thin and doesn't like eating at ordinary times. Mother-in-law thinks about cooking good food for her children all day. But children are picky eaters, and basically they are full after eating a little. Mother-in-law loves her child dearly, saying that the child is too thin and in poor health.

Every time my son doesn't eat well, his mother-in-law will feed the child with a bowl. At this time, I was very angry. I don't think children will eat unless they eat. He will eat naturally when he is hungry. My mother-in-law thinks that I am irresponsible as a mother, just trying to save my mind. If the child doesn't eat, he won't be fed. My mother-in-law and I are not less angry about this matter.

I know that my mother-in-law's initial intention is also good for her children, so I didn't mention it when she was breastfeeding her children.

My solution is: when chatting with us, tell the mother-in-law that the child is growing up and let him develop a good habit of eating by himself. Moreover, after going to kindergarten, I have to eat by myself at school at noon. In order to make children adapt better, you need to let them eat by themselves in advance. What I said made my mother-in-law feel very reasonable. Since then, she seldom feeds her children, and basically encourages them to finish their meals by themselves. Even if I feed my children occasionally, I will say in front of them that I should cherish the opportunity I won with my mother ~

So this disagreement about whether to feed the children is solved.

The second thing is about whether children will be overprotected.

Because my husband and I are dual-employed, both of us have to go to work at ordinary times, so I usually give them to my mother-in-law. My mother-in-law usually takes her children out to play and keeps staring at them. Whenever she meets a child, she will be the first to "blame". As long as there is nothing wrong with children playing, I generally don't have any problems with other parents. But my mother-in-law always told me that her children were too naughty. Last time she pushed my child, she couldn't play with that child. And I always feel that my mother-in-law makes a mountain out of a molehill and overprotects her children.

Every time I meet this situation, I always say nothing. My mother-in-law always thinks that my heart is big and both sides are unhappy.

In order to solve this problem, I will invite the children of my best friends or colleagues to visit our house on weekends. When several children play together, I will let my mother-in-law have a rest and I will watch. In the process of playing, my mother-in-law will also chat with me and say that the children have a good time together. At this time, I will bring up this topic and let my mother-in-law relax, as long as the children have fun by themselves and don't worry too much.

Later, the mother-in-law rarely overprotected her children, but let them play by themselves. What she often says is that children should solve their own problems.

Finally, my mother-in-law interfered with my child's discipline.

For example, if the child is disobedient, I will criticize or punish the child. Children will cry at the first time, and my mother-in-law will come out to save the scene as soon as she hears it. Over time, once the child does something wrong, as long as the mother-in-law is present, the child will look for her at the first time.

I am very dissatisfied with this. Feel that the child has done something wrong. Not only did I play the role of the bad guy in front of the children, but the children could not correctly recognize their mistakes.

My practice is to educate my children when my mother-in-law is away and punish them accordingly. At the same time, find another time to communicate with my mother-in-law, which shows that this is how I educate my children. For his future life, please ask her mother-in-law to help me supervise. In the end, my mother-in-law also approved my practice for our common goal.

Although my mother-in-law and I have different views on parenting, fortunately, my mother-in-law is an understanding mother-in-law. Everything that is good for children can be digested and absorbed for a period of time, or after seeing the effect, slowly change your mind.