Give a letter of criticism to your wife

According to your wishes, I reflected in the study for one hour, 43 minutes and seven seconds, drank a cup of boiled water, went to the bathroom once, and didn't smoke. The above facts are accurate, please review. Attached is my review report, and the improper parts can be negotiated.

After three months of married life, I think my wife and comrades are gentle, virtuous, diligent and intelligent, and they are rare good wives. As a husband, I am eccentric and frivolous, and what I have done is really debatable. The following is my analysis of my bad behavior, please read it by the leaders:

1. What happened yesterday was my fault.

Although your braised eggplant is a little salty, it's mellow and delicious. I shouldn't accuse you of wasting salt. I am so demanding and blaming, and I am completely jealous. But it's ok to add some water.

2. When you said that you liked Lu Yi, I shouldn't have said that I liked Liang Yongqi, which caused you to ignore me for two days, which was extremely painful. Think about it carefully, my answer is really inappropriate, because your playboy is still confined to the mainland, but I rushed to Hong Kong and Taiwan. I prefer Zhou Xun.

3. You like watching Xiao Zhengge in Korean dramas, so I shouldn't try my best to stop it, and I shouldn't protest when you compare me with him, because Xiao Zhengge didn't protest.

4. At the wedding on Saturday, I said that I had a meeting, and I didn't know if I could go. You prepared two red envelopes, one for 1 and the other for 2. As a result, I didn't go, and you accidentally sent out the thick one. Honey, I shouldn't laugh at you. You've done a good job. If I were you, I might have sent them both together.

5. The last time you bought croaker, I shouldn't have vowed to pretend to be a chef. As a result, you cheered when you helped the cook, and your mouth was watering when you smelled it, but you were depressed when you ate it. This is unbearable for your fragile mind.

6. You cut your hair short and asked me if it looked good. I said it looked good and you were happy. Further verification, I said ok; You asked whether it was good or not, and I replied that it was not as good as before, which made you very sad. This is my fault. In the future, such replies will be subject to the first time.

7. You have met many excellent friends on the Internet. At one time, Hongyan passed on books, and jade photos were flying. I shouldn't have hit you with newspaper reports. But the picture of you in a white skirt is really not good-looking. It's better to wear the one with a turtleneck. I'm a bodyguard next to you, which looks imposing.

8. When you visited your nephew, you came back to discuss with me who should wash diapers. I really shouldn't pass the buck and make you angry. But dear, this task is too far away, so let's discuss who is in charge of the birth. Who was born in their family?

9. When you accused me of leaving my socks lying around, I shouldn't accuse you of leaving books everywhere. After all, socks stink and books smell good.

1. When you invited Cher to McDonald's, I shouldn't have secretly kicked her under the table to make you furious, but she trampled so many of my shoes, why didn't you care?

11. When you say that I am not as beautiful as you, I shouldn't stubbornly deny it. You are right, and the evidence is conclusive, so the blind can testify.

12. When I came back from downstairs to take out the garbage, you walked around me several times and asked me how many cigarettes I smoked. When I said one, you were very angry. Honey, I didn't know your nose was so sensitive. In fact, I smoked two.

You have always been an understanding girl. I hope you can forgive me and give me a chance to turn over a new leaf. For the sake of family stability and economic prosperity, by the way, a few small suggestions:

1. Don't point to the handsome guy on TV and say that he looks like your ex-boyfriend. The first time you approached a man at close range was at the sophomore dance, and you stepped on someone else's feet in a panic. Unfortunately, it was me.

2. When shopping, don't always have a whim, such as buying a shredder to make mashed garlic. Don't you think my machine is more economical?

3. When eating, you always think I eat less, but when taking pictures, you think I'm fat. Honey, this really puts me in a dilemma.

4. Don't give me some tricky questions, saying that it's a brain teaser, which makes my logic confused.

5. Don't tell me jokes when I'm watching a gunfight movie, and you can't do it without laughing.

I'd like to ask my wife for advice. Friendly reminder: there were spiders in the bedroom yesterday. If you need escort, please contact No.1 combined sofa in the west leisure area of the living room to serve you wholeheartedly ...

Dearest Xiaoxue's wife:

As Christmas, New Year and Spring Festival are coming one after another, it is also the first anniversary of your marriage. On behalf of the CPC Central Committee, the State Council, the Central Military Commission, the National People's Congress and Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference, I would like to express my deepest greetings and sincere thanks to my wife, who is in charge of the family's administration, legislation, military affairs, finance, logistics and diplomacy. The past year is a year of carrying forward the past and opening up the future. In the past year, we finally realized the great change from being alone to working side by side. Although, in this year, we have fallen into the cliche of "I don't see you for a day, but I get bored when I meet you for an hour", and we have also experienced the embarrassment of "a small quarrel every day and a big quarrel every three days". But it is under such difficult conditions that our feelings have withstood the test of tears and sweat. It's really a great event that we can get here today.

today, based on the principles of seeking common ground while reserving differences, reducing differences, equal consultation and common development, I am writing this "self-criticism" here. The first purpose is to express my sincere apologies to you for summing up some unpleasant mistakes I made this year, and at the same time, I will explain to you why I did this for the last time. After all, everyone has a different way of thinking, and I can't force you to think according to my logic. As the saying goes, it is the ultimate goal of my self-criticism book to eliminate misunderstandings.

first of all, I'm talking about playing web games. Just like the current State Administration of Radio, Film and Television (SARFT) shutting down BT, you unilaterally engage in "one size fits all" and directly forbid me to play farm "picking vegetables" games at home. To this end, I have petitioned many times, but each time it ended in vain. I threatened to jump off the building if I was not allowed to play, but you threw out such cruel remarks as "The second floor of our house is not high enough, so I will jump off the building and go to the fifth floor of the top floor". But now I want to tell you that I play "picking vegetables" on the farm in order to collect 9999 roses for you. Now that I have completed this arduous historical mission, I am not afraid to tell you. As you can imagine, you have no idea of my love for you.

Secondly, you don't allow me to buy online events. It is true that as you said: online banking is risky, so you should be careful when shopping! However, when you were deeply trapped by PetroChina, did you ever think that "stocks are risky and investment should be cautious"? Many of my clothes, shoes and remote-controlled planes for my nephew are bought from Taobao, and even our tcl Blu-ray Internet TV is bought from TCL's online mall [shop.tcl.com]. Do you know how much it costs to buy these things online than to go shopping? You don't know! Tell you, this TCL Internet TV alone saved more than 2 yuan. But I didn't get your praise, but I got your comment that "I knew surfing the net didn't accompany me shopping". To tell the truth, what street do ordinary people like us wander? What's wrong with online things being so cheap? Shopping, once you encounter the "seventy yards" of the "rich second generation", your life is gone. How can you say I don't love you?

once again, I want to talk about the fact that you don't allow me to see the fast girl. I have explained to you more than once. Although I have written two posts praising Sara, which neither speak for the party nor speak for the people, and even been gloriously recommended on the front page of the forum, I swear that I don't have a crush on Sara. There really isn't. The appreciation of sound and body are completely two levels. Besides, I'm staring at a 3-year-old. How can I be interested in a little girl like Sara who is only in her early 2 s? Inexplicable, incredible. Once again, I solemnly declare that I look at the fast girl only because I believe in Brother Chun and love Brother Zeng and Brother Yun, and I like this kind of neutrality, nothing else.

finally, let's talk about the cooking injury. Once you cut your finger while chopping vegetables, I was very distressed. I quickly took a band-aid to help you wrap the wound and took you out to eat. Who knows, afterwards, you criticized me for "no sweet words to comfort you and wasting half your cooking at the cost of blood". I learned a lesson from this. Another time, you cut your finger while chopping vegetables. This time, I held you in my arms and comforted you with sweet words. As a result, you pushed me away and ordered me to get a band-aid to help you wrap your wound. I'm going to help you cook again, but you wronged me to say that I don't care about you, and I want you to cook when you are injured ... Wife, you make me so confused. Because I really don't understand when you need sweet talk, when you need a band-aid, and when you need to go out for dinner … I can only say that I will try my best to understand you, just like mice love rice. Here I solemnly promise that I will always love you and watch over you. Honey, I love you!