Dialogue between children and shopkeepers in Wulin legends-full version

1. Lv Xiucai: Who has the highest flying skills throughout the ages? -Ji Wubing: Cao Cao (speaking of the devil)

Lv Xiucai: Who has the strongest position? -Ji: Liu Bei's son (if he can't afford it, he is called a thousand pounds)

Lv Xiucai: Whose hidden weapons is the best? -Ji: Zhuge Liang (Zhuge Liang tears Ma Su, others pick leaves and flowers, he flies.

It is tears)

Lv Xiucai: Who has the strongest internal strength? -Ji: Zhuge Liang (Kong Ming plays the piano and retreats, invincible ultrasound)

Lv Xiucai: Who is so boring? -Ji is not sick: Zhang Fei (Zhang Fei eats scales and is determined to win. Normal people who eat that? )

2. Guo Furong: Where is the station to catch criminals? It's the bully (dad) in Qixia town!

Li Dazui: Who is the mother of Qixia Town?

3. Beckham: I am the head of the team!

Shopkeeper: It's not good to palm the window!

Beckham: Yes. . . You're the one with the sore.

4. Part I: Opposing domestic violence

Part II: Calling for social love.

Horizontal criticism: Don't talk to strangers.

Part I: The Year of the Monkey is the Year of the Rooster.

Bottom line: The Year of the Rooster is the Year of the Dog.

Horizontal batch: one year is one year.

5. peerless: generally, hong kong sisters are the third. You really like your skirt.

Furong: It's ugly. It's ugly. Sister Ya's ninth place depends on a dexterous hand.

Furong: Your beauty from the inside out promotes blood circulation, nourishes beauty and makes people feel pity.

Unparalleled: Your beauty is transferred from your bones to your skin, and this moment should last forever.

Furong: Give you back your beauty.

Wu Shuang: I will give you back your beauty. Your whole family is beautiful.

Furong: You have a good temperament.

Wu Shuang: You have a good figure.

Furong: You have good skin.

Wu Shuang: Your hair is fine.

Furong: You are all right. The only drawback is that you are too conspicuous and easy to cause traffic accidents.

Wu Shuang: Your shortcoming is that you are too perfect to regret.

Furong: Regret or something.

Wu Shuang: Wrong birth, bad DNA.

6. Shopkeeper: What's your goal?

Guo: Be a generation of Woman!

Shopkeeper: This goal is too far away. Tell me something closer.

Guo: Pay rise!

Shopkeeper: This one is farther than that one just now.

7. Guo Furong said to Lv Xiucai: As soon as I saw you, I wanted to be savage.

8. The criminal captor: Dead? All dead? When did you die? How did you die? Where is the crime scene? Any witnesses, physical evidence?

Temporary residence permit?

9. Tong Xiangyu: Ask if this mountain is the highest in the world. A loving baby is like a treasure. If there is love in the sky, it will be old. I love you so much that I can't forget it.

I can't forget your feelings, your goodness, your intoxicating lingering, and the faint smell of tobacco between my fingers.

10. The shopkeeper yelled at Lao Xing: Xing Yusen!

Lao Xing gave her an angry reply.

The shopkeeper grinned at once: what a good name!

1 1. Teacher who teaches painting: Is this Li Kui jy?

Mo Xiaobei: No, this is Zhang Fei.

Teacher: Oh, how about this?

Bei: Yue Fei.

Teacher: How about this?

B: Faye Wong.

12 `Laobai: If you feel lonely, get a dog or something.

Boss Tong: Do you like dogs when you are hungry?

Laobai: Then raise a Sohu. Yahoo! Baidu or something.

13. Xiaoliu: Last name? Call it? Where are you from? Where are you going? How many people are there in the family? How many acres of land per capita? How many cows are there in the field? Say something

say

14. Tong Xiangyu: Tongfu Inn is your dream harbor. Our store has a big sale at the end of the month. With a VIP card, you can

In order to enjoy a 20% to 50% discount, please write to me and come to discuss specific matters.

15. Li Dazui: Li Dazui, male, 27 years old, unmarried, healthy and without a marriage room, with excellent performance and survival of the fittest.

Various qualities

16. Laobai: Welcome to Qixia Town costume variety show with the highest ratings.

Laobai: Welcome to the costume variety show with the highest ratings in China. I wash, I wash, I wash.

Laobai: Welcome to the costume variety show with the highest ratings in the world.

Laobai: Welcome to the costume variety show with the highest ratings in the universe. I pull, I pull, I pull, I pull.

17. Mouth: They laughed at me for reading less.

Laobai: This is nonsense. You have never read a book!

18. Bai: May I have your name, sir?

Gong: Gong.

B: Oh, hello, Mr. Zhang.

Gong: No, my name is not Zhang. My name is Gong.

19. Xiao Guo: Are you sure? Are you sure?

Scholar: I don't deny veto and negation.

20. Guo: The world is so wonderful, and I am really so grumpy. This is not good, not good.

2 1, Xiao Guo: No matter how tired and bitter you are, consider yourself as 250.

Beckham: No matter how difficult the adventure is, consider yourself a two-faced person.

Qi: * * Whatever you want!

22. Xiaoliu: Help me take care of Uncle Qi and his third niece!

Wu Shuang: Take care of my brother and his fiancee's sister-in-law!

23. Big mouth: Zuo Qinglong, right white tiger, you are 250.

24. Shopkeeper: Hungry, hungry, hungry, hungry.

Pinggu Xiaohong: (like a neat freak) Look at the mud under your fingernails. That's disgusting.

Furong: (sad face) It's all manned to let me do rough work every day.

A little red in Pinggu: (sadly to the shopkeeper) Finish the work. . . People must wash their hands.

Furong: Brother Hou, get out of the way!

Scholar: Be careful, Bajie!

Tong: Last night in jiaozi, dream of eating, I got up in the morning and my pillow was wet.

Guo: Will you cry after eating jiaozi?

Bai: Not tears, but saliva ~ ~ ~

-

Guo: Brother Thief, you must be kind to the shopkeeper. You can't dislike her just because she is a widow. The owner's boy is.

A good person, she is just a little stingy, just a little nagging, there is nothing wrong with her.

Guo: Boss Tong, you should be nice to Brother Thief. Don't dislike him just because he is a thief. He also made a mistake.

Eternal hatred, you have to save his dirty heart with a heart that learns from past mistakes and saves lives.

Accumulate virtues for future generations.

-

Scholar: Where did I come from and where did I die? Why do I appear in this world? My appearance means something to the world.

What, did the world choose me or did I choose the world? Is there a necessary connection between me and the universe? Is it the universe?

There is an end point, whether there is a length of time, where the past time disappears and where the future time stops. I am here.

Is the question you are asking now still the question you just heard? Whoever killed me, I killed who! !

-

The people are ready to escape because they find that the prisoner is an assistant minister of does, with a sword. )

Yu Xiang: Now, there is only one last way. ...

Xiaoliu: What's the solution?

Yu Xiang: Thirty-six plans.

Small six: What is the thirty-six plan?

Xiao Guo (singing): Thirty-six strategies for love ~ ~ (Everyone dances at this time) It's best to go ~ ~ I want to master the remote control myself ~

~~

Laobai: (continuing to sing) Don't think that ~ ~ (suddenly stopping to tell Guo and others) has stopped me! (Turning to Yu Xiang) What about you?

Where are you going?

Yu Xiang: Let's get out of here. We can't go back to Shaanxi anyway. We can go to South go to dali. ...

Xiao Guo: Alas, Dali is so good and the scenery is super ~ ~ ~ beautiful!

Yu Xiang: Take a breath in Dali, and then we will go to Myanmar. ...

Mouth: Myanmar is good, bananas are delicious!

Yu Xiang: If there are still suitors in Myanmar, let's go to Thailand again. ...

Guo: Alas ~ ~ The temples in Thailand are amazing ~ ~! Hmm. How interesting

Yu Xiang: If Thailand still can't stay, let's go to Japan by boat. ...

Everyone (resolutely, turning around, disgusted): No! !

Yu Xiang: What about Koryo? ...

Everyone (turning around and agreeing): All right.

Yu Xiang: journey to the south to Siberia, change to sleigh, go straight to the Arctic Circle, and then go south from Alaska, across the red.

Road, a long journey, direct to the Antarctic permafrost, and then ...

Everyone: Still going? !

Yu Xiang: The last step, after reaching the Antarctic Circle, take enough dry food and water, take a rocket, fly into space and land on the surface of Mars.

Autumn, start a new life!

Everyone was intoxicated. . .

Scholar: What if there are trackers on Mars?

One leng, everyone began to beat up the scholar.

(Scholar struggles to get up) Yu Xiang: Then we will leave the solar system. ...

Everyone: Well (sad music begins)

Yu Xiang: The vast universe, the vast starry sky, is there no place for me to live, the exhibition hall?

Laobai (hugging Yu Xiang): It's up to you. We'll go wherever you say, every step of the way.

Daughters: (singing) You are the wind ~ ~ I am the sand ~ ~ ~

Man: (singing) It's so miserable ~ ~ Traveling around the world ~ ~ ~

Everyone: you are the wind ~ ~ I am the sand ~ ~ ~

-

Shopkeeper: Continue to approach enthusiastically and applaud crazily!

-

Scholar: (hands raised, knees huddled) Oh ~ ~ ~ I was wrong, I was wrong! ! You adults don't remember villains, massacres.

I can punt in my stomach, the moon falls and my feet are frosty all over the sky, and both husband and wife go home ~ ~ ~ ~ ~!

1, people are floating in rivers and lakes, who can not get stabbed? White camel mountain strong bone powder, oral and external use, has a miraculous effect. Took a knife, drew a bag and thought

Get the second knife, flash your waist and eat a pack, and you will not be old until you are 200 years old. White camel mountain strong bone powder, youth powder, friendship powder, China.

Jian's designated nutrition products are available in Yiguang, the major drugstores in the town. Please look for the anti-counterfeiting mark of black toad when buying.

(of a duck) quack ...

2. Tong Xiangyu: If a person makes you feel grateful, you will be willing to give your life to him. If someone moves you, you will be willing to let it go.

Give it to him yourself.

3, you adults don't remember the villain, the prime minister can punt in his stomach, the moon sets in first frost, and both husband and wife return home.

4. I am optimistic about you ~

5. Have you ever been to World Spring? I've heard people say time. Have a clear view in the first one. exist

In that Taoist temple, there is a Taoist priest. They like hula in the first spring, and the tune is called Quan.

6. What is the fragrance of flowers? Because of me. Why is the grass green? It's also because of me. Why does fart stink? That's because.

Laobai ~ ~ ~ ~

I eat more salt than you do.

That's your mouth.

I have crossed more bridges than you have.

This is what I don't want to move.

8. Part I: Combating domestic violence

Part II: Calling for social love.

Horizontal criticism: Don't talk to strangers.

9. Hunger is wrong. Hunger is wrong from the beginning ~ you shouldn't get married if you are hungry. If you don't marry a hungry husband, you won't die or be hungry.

My husband won't die, and if I'm hungry, I won't be reduced to such a sad situation. ...

10, Wu Shuang: generally, Hong Kong elder sister is the third ~ you really like your dress.

Furong: It's ugly. It's ugly. Sister Ya's ninth place depends on a dexterous hand.

Furong: Your beauty from the inside out promotes blood circulation, nourishes beauty and makes people feel pity.

Unparalleled: Your beauty is transferred from your bones to your skin, and this moment should last forever.

Furong: Give you back your beauty.

Wu Shuang: I will give you back your beauty. Your whole family is beautiful.

Furong: You have a good temperament.

Wu Shuang: You have a good figure.

Furong: You have good skin.

Wu Shuang: Your hair is fine.

Furong: You are all right. The only drawback is that you are too conspicuous and easy to cause traffic accidents.

Wu Shuang: Your shortcoming is that you are too perfect to regret.

Furong: Regret or something.

Wu Shuang: I was born wrong. I don't covet such good DNA.

1 1, the first part: Year of the Rooster after the Year of the Monkey, the second part: Year of the Rooster after the Year of the Dog, and the horizontal batch: one year after the Year of the Rooster.

12, (The shopkeeper stole Beckham's letter and Xiao Guo saw it)

Guo: What if it's an urgent letter?

Shopkeeper: Can you insert a chicken feather in the letter in an emergency? It's obviously a trivial matter ~

13, Store: What's your goal?

Guo: Be a generation of Woman!

Shopkeeper: This goal is too far away. Tell me something closer.

Guo: Pay rise!

Shopkeeper: This one is farther than that one just now ~

14, Lv Xiucai: Who has the highest flying skills throughout the ages?

-Ji Wubing: Cao Cao (speaking of the devil)

Lv Xiucai: Who has the strongest position?

-Ji: Liu Bei's son (if he can't afford it, he is called a thousand pounds)

Lv Xiucai: Whose hidden weapons is the best?

-Ji: Zhuge Liang (Zhuge Liang tears Ma Su, others pick Ye Fei flowers, he flies with tears)

Lv Xiucai: Who has the strongest internal strength?

-Ji: Zhuge Liang (Kong Ming plays the piano and retreats, invincible ultrasound)

Lv Xiucai: Who is so boring?

-Ji is not sick: Zhang Fei (Zhang Fei eats scales and is determined to win. Normal people who eat that? )

15, big mouth: Oh, it's messed up again. How can I do this job in the future?

Shopkeeper: Are you still cooking in an iron pan? It's long overdue. The hall door non-stick pot adopts the latest hall door copper technology in Sichuan.

Large heating area, uniform heat transfer and rapid heating. You can make delicious food with a little oil. clean

Easy to wash and not easy to stick to the pot. Buy and send now: Tangmen has an exclusive secret weapon, which is available on a first-come-first-served basis.

. All major hotels and weapons stores sell them. Welcome to inquire.

Mouth: Cooking in a non-stick pan is good for you.

16, Yu Xiang: Let's get out of here first. We can't go back to Shaanxi anyway. We can go to South go to dali. ...

Xiao Guo: Alas, Dali is so good and the scenery is super ~ ~ ~ beautiful!

Yu Xiang: Take a breath in Dali, and then we will go to Myanmar. ...

Mouth: Myanmar is good, bananas are delicious!

Yu Xiang: If there are still suitors in Myanmar, let's go to Thailand again. ...

Guo: Alas ~ ~ The temples in Thailand are amazing ~ ~! Hmm. How interesting

Yu Xiang: If Thailand still can't stay, let's go to Japan by boat. ...

Everyone (resolutely, turning around, disgusted): No! !

Yu Xiang: What about Koryo? ...

Everyone (turning around and agreeing): All right.

Yu Xiang: journey to the south to Siberia, change to sleigh, go straight to the Arctic Circle, and then go south from Alaska.

Cross the equator, cross a long distance, go straight to the frozen soil of the Antarctic circle, and then ...

Everyone: Still going? !

Yu Xiang: The last step, after reaching the Antarctic Circle, take enough dry food and water, take a rocket, fly into space and land on Mars.

Put down the floor and start a new life!

Everyone was intoxicated. . .

Scholar: What if there are trackers on Mars?

All one leng, will show just suddenly and violently dozen together. ...

17, Zi once said: Knowledge is power.

Which child?

Bacon!

18, Tong Xiangyu's mantra: Oh, my God!

The catch phrase of criminals: dear mother!

Guo Furong's mantra: Avalanches.

My pet phrase: Zi once said.

Bai Zhantang's pet phrase: sunflower acupuncturist

Zhu's mantra: Let me do it!

Mo Xiaobei's pet phrase: Sister-in-law ~ ~ ~ ~ (very sour kind)

Yan Xiaoliu's mantra: help me take care of my seventh uncle and his third niece!

19, the mouth captures a little red-lipstick action.

20. Guo Furong Inter-Star Catcher: What a bully (dad) in Qixia Town!

Li Dazui: Who is that mother?

2 1, one word: Chinese

Two words: sharp

Three words: mother

Four words: alas?

22. Laobai: Welcome to Qixia Town's costume variety show with the highest ratings. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Laobai: Welcome to the costume variety show with the highest ratings in China. I wash, I wash, I wash.

Laobai: Welcome to the costume variety show with the highest ratings in the world.

Laobai: Welcome to the costume variety show with the highest ratings in the universe. I pull, I pull, I pull, I pull.

23. Laobai: You are such an uncontrollable fool ~ ~ ~

Mouth: Who is Dou?

Laobai (bold): Water Margin, one hundred and nine generals.

Mouth: What are you talking about? There are 108 in Water Margin. I still believe in the Three Kingdoms.

Laobai (relieved): You are really right this time. You are the son of Liu Bei in the Three Kingdoms.

Mouth: You are lying to me again. He is not Liu Bei's son. Otherwise, Liu Bei's surname is Liu, and his surname is ~ ~ ~ (blurted out,

Old white was in great pain, so he leaned his head on the table and one mouthful blood gushed out-)

24. The money shopkeeper was beaten black and blue by Qian Furen because he kept three pence. They asked him what happened to his eyes.

Money shopkeeper: I hit the door ~ ~

Everyone: Can you hit the door like this?

Money shopkeeper: I hit the door first, then bounced against the wall, and the wall bounced too hard and hit the door again. ...

25, Xianhui, there is nothing at home!

26. Manned: Naihe Bridge is far away.

Laobai: You open the window, jump with your head down, and you get to Naihe Bridge.

27. Furong: Do you know how my mother tied my father at home?

Laobai: With a leash?

28. Mrs Zhang: How can you have your cake and eat it?

Scholar: This is impossible.

Mrs. Zhang: Keep a bear that can catch fish.

29. Beckham will go to Huashan to discuss swords.

Mouth: I have nothing for you either. You can take this begging jar. If there is nothing to eat along the way, go out to eat. Why?

Don't starve yourself.

Guo: This is a dog stick for you. If you want to beg, it is better to have a guy than to compete with wild dogs for food.

Shopkeeper: This penny is exclusively sponsored by me, so you must save some money. How to get to Huashan? (

Look at Lao Bai)

Laobai: That's enough.

Scholar: (wiping tears) Take this rope. If you meet a mountain thief on the way, you can hang yourself from a tree.

Shopkeeper: If you are kidnapped by a mountain thief, you must cry and let the mountain thief write a blackmail letter to your sister-in-law. Twelve taels of silver

It's acceptable for children. I asked Laobai to redeem you. If it exceeds 12 ounce, I will collect your body myself.

Beckham: I'm only worth twelve taels of silver?

Shopkeeper: So ... twenty taels? I can't take it out anymore.

Laobai: Take this bag of black coal ash with you. When you meet a mountain thief, you wipe your face with black coal ash and pretend to be a little black blind man. (touch small

What a nice condition! This little face is chubby.

30. Bai Zhantang: Share weal and woe, just call it Tongfu Inn!

Li Dazui: Then why not call it the same difficulty?

silent ...

3 1, big mouth asks: Brother is more important or woman is more important?

The scholar replied: brothers are like brothers and women are like clothes!

Dazzled: Good brothers!

The scholar said unhurriedly: Brothers are like centipedes' hands and feet, and women are like winter clothes!

32. recess! I'm a little thirsty to go to the bathroom!

33. Laobai: Welcome to this issue of "It's good not to know the Jianghu".

You are not as happy as I am, and you are not as satisfied as I am.

Are you satisfied? Speak up, I can't hear you.

People: Not satisfied!

Laobai: OK, then stay in a cool place.

Lv Xiucai: The breeze and bright moon tickle my heart, dig my heart! (asking the proprietress) What other words are there?

Boss: Steal my heart!

Lv Xiucai: Yes! The breeze and the bright moon stole my heart!

35. It's terrible for Mrs. Qian ~ but it's too powerful for her to survive ~

Xiao Qiang is not as strong as her ~ ~

36. Laobai: Ok, Xiao Guo, have you learned to embroider penguins?

Guo: That's Yuanyang! !

Thief: Are you such a thief? Stealing, cleaning people's houses.

Stealing Saint (White): Can it be done without cleaning? I have to follow the footprints.

Thief: You have something. You will return them to others in a few days.

Theft of Saint: Can I not send it back? You are not in a hurry to lose things!

Thief: Is there a thief like you? Stealing, cleaning people's houses.

Stealing Saint (White): Can it be done without cleaning? I have to follow the footprints.

Thief: You have something. You will return them to others in a few days.

Theft of Saint: Can I not send it back? You are not in a hurry to lose things!

Boss: A woman's happiness is to marry a man and serve him all her life.

Guo Furong: Why didn't he wait on me all his life?

Boss: You know why you can't get married.

Laobai: Read the whole Norwegian forest.

Scholar: Come on, what age is this? There is no such petty book to read.

Laobai: No, you can't write?

Scholar: Why not let me write Spring Festival couplets?

Wife of shop-owner: Your handwriting is too thin to celebrate. Save it for Qingming.

Xiaoliu: It can be described in four words.

Everyone: That's outrageous.

Small six: four more.

Everyone: It's terrible.

Bai Zhantang: There are many ways to die. Going out to the west, there is a Xiliang River.

Tourist: I can swim, especially snorkeling.

Bai Zhantang: Then find a cliff and jump.

Tourist: I jumped off a building and was blown back by the current.

Bai Zhantang: Then find a bottle of poison.

Tourist: I have drunk pesticides, fake and shoddy, and have diarrhea for half a month.

Bai Zhantang: Then find a rope ... something strong.

Tourist: Yes, the house collapsed in the middle of the earthquake. My neck is fine. My leg is broken. It hurts when it rains now.

.

Waste my friendship, friendship, and your friendship! ! ! (Lotus Echo Classic! )

Children's shopkeeper accepted Du Shiniang 100 silver, which was despised by all.

Man: "I'll give you a hundred taels of silver!" " "

The shopkeeper said, "I am confused when I look at this thick silver. Are you greedy? ~ ~"

Everyone: "Great! ! ! "

Child shopkeeper: "..."

Everyone: "You said you were ashamed ~ ~"

Boss Tong: "Shame!" ........................................................................................................................................................................

Lao Xing's self-hypnosis:

This is not clear noodle soup ... this is not clear noodle soup ... this is not clear noodle soup ...

This is eel noodles … this is eel noodles … this is eel noodles …

This is not kimchi, this is not kimchi, this is not kimchi. ...

This is a fat sausage, this is a fat sausage, this is a fat sausage. ...

-Grow old forever

Aren't those two old goblins?

Add:

Tigers don't show off. You think I'm hello kitty.

God, are you high myopia plus astigmatism, or green cataract plus presbyopia? You're so blind that you don't go to see it.

Omental surgery

Music, like being a man, once it reaches the realm, it will never come down.

There is still a long way to go in Xiu Yuan. I will go up and down, east and west, north and south, and I will pursue everything I want.

Remember, you are not sweeping the ground, but your dusty heart.

Yes, we are all dusty hearts, but you, out of the mud but not stained, live in the toilet but not smelly.

Ask if this mountain is the highest in the world, and if it is affectionate, it will be old. I love you too much to forget you.

Love can't forget your goodness, your intoxicating lingering, and the faint smell of tobacco between your fingers ~ ~ ~

If I have such a good man, I will cherish him, cherish him and put him at home every day as a treasure.

Don't let him go out, he can only talk to me and eat my cooking. Hey, why don't I get a dog?

woollen fabric

A hero who is out of tune with the world, a mysterious person, a lonely and affectionate traveler ...

A madman who treats honor like dirt ... a wise man who knows how to enjoy life, a real living person. ...

It's him, a world hero who was born in the Jianghu and famous in the imperial court ... What's his name again ... Jin Baiyu buys songs and laughs.

What a poetic name ... faced with setbacks and unreasonable accusations in life, Master Lu's choice.

As the song goes, choose ... you hurt me, but I laughed it off.

Where did I come from and where did I die? Why do I appear in this world? What does my appearance mean to the world?

Did the world choose me or did I choose the world? Is there a necessary connection between me and the universe? Does the universe have an end?

Whether there is a length of time, where the past time disappears, and where the future time stops, I propose at this moment.

Is that the question you just heard? Whoever killed me, I killed who! !

"People floating in the river's lake, who can not get a knife? White camel mountain strong bone powder, oral and external use, has a miraculous effect. I took a knife and drew a bag. I want to do it again.

Get the second knife, flash your waist and eat a pack, and you will not be old until you are 200 years old. White camel mountain strong bone powder, youth powder, friendship powder, Huashan

All the major pharmacies in this town are selling out the designated nutrition of Jian. Please look for the anti-counterfeiting signs of black toad, gung and gung when buying.

……"

Scholar: Then there are the classic lines one, two, three, four, action.

Boss: It's wrong to be hungry. Hunger was wrong from the beginning. If you don't marry me, my husband won't die, and neither will my husband.

Well, I won't end up in one place. ...