Brother-in-law dropped out of school and played mobile phone every day at home. Being a sister-in-law is uncomfortable. How should she balance her mind?

After reading your question, I thought about several points. See if it's useful and can help you balance your mind:

1. Does your brother-in-law's current behavior affect you personally or you and your children? For example, if he goes to work or doesn't live at home, what you need to do every day, such as taking the children to cook for the in-laws who go to work, will it change? These things don't seem to have to be done.

Did brother-in-law spend the money your husband earned? If he spends the money earned by his in-laws and your husband and affects the interests of your small family, then you should show your attitude to your husband or in-laws. Because you have no obligation to raise a healthy brother-in-law. If he doesn't need your money, then after all, his brother-in-law is not his own brother, so it is good to turn a blind eye at ordinary times. Only one relative's child hasn't started school yet. What can you do with this relative's child? As long as he is not stumbling and hungry, let him do whatever he likes.

3. If you still can't balance, you also said that your husband obviously doesn't want to hear about his younger brother (after all, he is a younger brother, and he is still a child in his heart). Don't mention this to your husband again. Find a suitable time, it is best to talk with parents-in-law, which is a special choice for girls when their husbands are away. According to friends, to find a partner, you should have a good personality, a high degree of education, or at least excellent earning skills. Such a topic can generally arouse the interest of mother-in-law. Once you talk about what's on her mind, she will naturally think of her son. You can't persuade directly, because your in-laws will treat you as their daughter again, and you are only half a daughter, not as good as your son. Only in this way can we gently guide them to think deeply.

If all the above fails, in fact, I don't think you need to worry too much and be unbalanced. Since your parents-in-law are still at work, it is estimated that they are not people without brains and plans. My brother-in-law has been out of school for two years and should be younger. Her parents-in-law should think it is too early, and it is not too hasty to let her son do nothing and study. They should have their own plans in mind. Don't worry too much about it. It's hard enough for a person to take care of the children's housework, so don't bother other people's children any more. Just take care of your children and family, and take care of everyone on your face. I hope these immature views can make your mind more balanced.

Talk to his brother and ask his brother-in-law for permission to find him a job first. If he doesn't quit, send him back to study, or send him to learn a skill. If he doesn't, tell him to go out and find a job and stand on his own two feet. He is still young. He doesn't go to school or work. He just plays games. Isn't it useless? Can you keep him young and old? He will grow up eventually, and he will marry a wife in the future! If he marries a daughter-in-law, he will assume the responsibility of a family. Can he afford it as much as he can?

Spoil him if you don't let him do anything. This is not to love him and spoil him. This is to spoil him! As a person, you must have the ability to stand on your own feet, especially as a man!

Now his family can send him to school and give him room to learn and grow. His family doesn't need his burden for the time being. During this period, he did not study hard and made no progress. What do you think he will do when he needs to earn money to support his family?

Talk it over with your husband's family and see how to arrange it. Especially brother-in-law, you must understand his ideological work, either go to school or learn a skill. At this rate, there is always no way. Parents' love for their children is far-reaching. There is always some truth in the old saying.

And my parents-in-law put forward the following points:

1. Brother-in-law doesn't play mobile phone every day and doesn't make progress. He has to find a job, or he won't get a wife in the future!

Brother-in-law plays mobile phone every day, which is not good for his health. Easy to get cervical spondylosis, mouse hand, not good for eyes, will affect vision. If it is serious, it will lead to cardiovascular and cerebrovascular diseases!

Brother-in-law's playing mobile phone every day has an impact on mental health. In the long run, people's personality will become eccentric and even lead to mental problems.

Considering the brother-in-law, ask the parents-in-law questions, and the parents-in-law will understand the seriousness of the matter and will naturally deal with it.

On the other hand, I have to adjust my mentality. Women who take care of children at home are somewhat negative. After all, they are really tired!

But we can't allow negative energy to erupt on us, we should control it like a way!

1. Take the children out for a walk and stay at their parents' house for a few days to change their mood.

2. Get rid of Ma Bao Group full of negative energy! That group is either dissatisfied with the mother-in-law or the sister-in-law. Watching too much will affect your mood. Day by day, family disharmony is coming!

3. enrich yourself. If you have time besides taking care of the children, don't stop studying. Never too old to learn. Learning is the source of happiness.

Don't lose inner peace because of external things (such as brother-in-law). Remember: everything that makes you unhappy is external, so don't worry about it. We only care about what is relevant to us!

Although your husband is a bit "nosy" bluntly, it is also true. We should do our own thing, don't mind other people's business, do what we like and please ourselves happily!

I hope you can meet better yourself!

I think it's mainly your brother-in-law, every day. So, do you or your in-laws pay for your living expenses and other household expenses? If it's your parents-in-law, then ignore him. After all, people eat their parents, and even your little home is spent by your parents-in-law. You can't say anything without spending money. At most, I can only tell my parents-in-law or brother-in-law euphemistically. If you really don't like it, you can only say it yourself. Like my family, my husband is also two brothers. My eldest brother is divorced with two babies. When he returned to his hometown in the New Year, all the family members ate and drank together. Only my mother-in-law and I cook, wash dishes and clean up the housework. We can't say anything. We have to eat our parents' food. We usually work together outside. Husband will invite his younger brother to eat when cooking at home, saying that his younger brother is too lazy to cook alone and his younger brother is stingy. [Pick your nose] [Pick your nose] [Pick your nose]

Sister-in-law is like a mother You can talk, persuade, guide, and tell your brother-in-law to face life positively and change the current state of life. As for brother-in-law's choice and life, it is his own business. Your responsibility is to convince your own children, let alone your brother-in-law. What can you do? This is the only way. Sometimes you can't worry too much about the future of others because of your own experience and foresight. In fact, it may not be so. People need to wake up and grow by themselves. Of course, it also takes time and process. Just do what you have to do.

I am both anxious and uneasy when it comes to this matter. My daughter didn't go out to work this year because of the epidemic, and she played with her mobile phone every day. I'm worried. I communicated with her today, and she said that she would go to a place close to home to see if there was a suitable job. But you are more troublesome than me, because he is your brother-in-law, so you have to do something difficult. Try to discuss with your mother-in-law first and let her talk about herself. You can also help him plan and find a good time to talk to him. Ask him what his plans are first, and then tell him that you are an adult and need to learn to stand on your own feet. Your parents are too old to rely on them any more. From now on, of course, you should plan your future when you reason with him.

Look at your description. Your husband and in-laws should not realize that it is not good for your brother-in-law not to work. As a married person, it is really bad for you to say such a thing. No matter who you are facing, don't speak ill of others. Even if you care, they will think you are abandoning him. It's none of your business after all. You might as well disappear without a trace.

If there is really no way, I think you can see if there is a better job for your brother-in-law. You can introduce him, be kind to him, bring your children closer to him, and introduce him to work, so that your husband and in-laws will not say anything about you, and you will have more say in this family.

This is something that can't be helped. I can only bear the imbalance in my heart.

He has parents and brothers in the world and they don't care. If you make a noise, it will only backfire.

Before you (sister-in-law) came in, he might have been spoiled by his parents and brother. How can my brother become diligent because he married his sister-in-law?

Now, parents can still find money to support him. When parents are old, they will realize that they are raising a giant baby and that their brother-in-law is living on his laurels. Only then will we realize the seriousness of the problem.

What you can do is to separate from your in-laws and live alone with your husband and children. Take care of your purse. Or let your children play with your uncle and indirectly let him take care of your children.

You can't ask him to help you wash dishes and do housework. He didn't do it before he had a sister-in-law, and there was no reason to do it after he had one.

Bear with it, everyone who lives with his brother-in-law and sister-in-law has more or less problems. You can't solve it.

Just wait until they get married, and you will be free.

Let your husband and brother-in-law talk. You can continue to look for a job after dropping out of school, but you should share some of this family. After all, the boss is not young, and you should have a sense of responsibility.

1. A brother-in-law is a brother-in-law. He has his own parents-in-law to clean up his abrasive work. Sister-in-law really can't say anything.

It's no big deal that you cook for the whole family and pack a pair of chopsticks. Pretend you can't see.

3. If you really can't stand it, how nice it is to separate directly! Self-reliance, nothing to worry about.

When brother-in-law grows up and has his own ideas, he will keep in mind his sister-in-law's attitude towards him. Maybe he has accomplished nothing now, but what if he becomes a success in the future? If he knows how to be grateful, he will turn around and thank his sister-in-law, okay?

5. Be a long-term person.