Beijing through the eyes of a Beijinger

I am a Beijinger because I was born and grew up here;

No, because in my mind, its image becomes more and more Blurry, like being shrouded in this thick smog, there is always a sense of alienation; no, it is because my understanding of my identity as a Beijinger is getting weaker and weaker, so thin that I have only a label for me, a label on my household registration book. One page;

"Of course you are, you are from Beijing, you don’t need to think about XXX."

"You Beijingers are XXX."

This is me Hearing common things said to me by non-natives who have just met me.

Obviously, Beijing cannot be as tolerant as Shenzhen, where “you are a Shenzhen native when you come here.” The unique label of “Beijing native” is not used to define a certain sense of regional belonging, but to It is a wall that distinguishes "native" from "foreign", "stable" and "free", "center" and "periphery", and a psychological hurdle, just like we default to "men" and "women" The difference between "you" and "us" is silently distinguished.

I have met many people who have lived in Beijing for many years, and they often use such a label to mark a "Beijing local" who is not familiar with it. To put it another way, many people do not seem to have Accept yourself in this city. For them, this is a place where they survive, struggle, and work hard. It is a place where they "squander" their young lives. However, it is not a place where they can feel at ease and have inner peace. It is not a place where they feel at ease. That "second home", even if I have lived here for many years, the psychological barrier and wall are always there.

Let’s talk about me again. I was born in the suburbs, and I don’t speak with a “Beijing accent” or “Beijing flavor”. I have been introverted and reserved since I was a child, and I don’t have the “Beijing style” freedom and ease. The commute from home to the city takes 2 hours. It has been many hours since I was a kid. I have never been to Sanlitun or 798, nor have I eaten bean curds. The places I am most familiar with in Beijing are Qianmen KFC, Beijing Children’s Hospital, and Xidan Book Building (which has the most game CDs).

When I got to university, I studied urban planning in Shijingshan District. At that time, in order to hand in coursework, satisfy my curiosity, and make myself look more like a Beijinger, I would often go to a I wandered around places I had never been to before, walking for 2 or 3 hours without stopping, just to see where the boundaries of this area were and where the next area was, and to illuminate the darkness in my mind about the map of Beijing. Fuzzy place.

After entering the society, because of the long commute, I, like most people, looked for a house to rent outside, met new friends, met new colleagues, went to places I had never been before, and refreshed myself every day. Get to know this city.

I often joke with people close to me, "I may be from Beijing, or I may not be from Beijing. In short, there is no special feeling..."

Maybe, it's true. Because of this, I can observe and see Beijing and the people here from a special perspective, a perspective that abandons any identity, label, belonging and identity. But when I separated myself from various identities, what I saw was the spiritual and cultural decline of the entire city.

Although Beijing is positioned as a cultural capital, its current cultural atmosphere is much worse than that of Shanghai, and the public's cultural life and community vitality are extremely lacking.

Beijing is supposed to have a rich heritage. For people who come from afar, they will have a sense of longing, not just hoping to stay here, but also hoping to feel the rich heritage here and let them experience it. You can blend into it and become a part of it. However, I think the psychological feeling of many people who came after coming can only be described as "disappointment" - the charm of Beijing is disappearing, the cultural vitality is disappearing, and it is also becoming labeled and materialized. Hutongs and communities are no longer bustling, friends don’t get together as often, and the old community culture is replaced by trivial life. In the process of the disappearance of "old culture", the connections between people have not been built in a new healthy and dynamic way. This is the real Beijing.

If there is any spirit in this city at the moment, it is probably pragmatic. Everyone is actively studying, working, taking exams, changing jobs, managing money, using mobile phones, playing mobile games, hair transplantation, losing weight, releasing stress, and flirting. Show off, find boyfriend and girlfriend, get married, buy a house, register, start a business, make a profit, have children, raise children, educate children, send children to study abroad, buy insurance, treat the elderly, hire nannies, and provide for the elderly. People care about these, talk about these, laugh about these, think about these, and plan their future based on these.

A pragmatic spirit supports countless industries in this city, leaving aside those impractical things. Such a big machine can always operate efficiently, constantly iterate itself, and update its service levels and functions.

At the same time, the "anxiety" in people's hearts is increasing day by day. Like the city itself, like cancer cells, it continues to grow and consume itself.

"There is no nightlife in Beijing" is an unexpected phenomenon, but it can only be felt in your actual life. During the year I rented an apartment in Wudaokou, the "Cosmic Center", I was very puzzled that there would be no one on the street after 10 o'clock. The same is true in Sanlitun. If the next day is a working day, the phenomenon of quick clearance will be even worse. It was so obvious, as if everyone was adhering to some kind of tacit understanding, that the originally bustling place suddenly became deserted.

I don’t know if it’s because I’m older, but I feel that people rush home early after get off work and don’t want to go out for a late-night snack, nor do they want to meet up with 2-3 friends to find a small restaurant. Have a drink. When you have time, your friends don't, and when your friends have time, you don't. In the end, no one is embarrassed to disturb the other, and this "unsociable" habit is slowly eliminated from life.

In Beijing, no one is willing to wait for others until tomorrow, because there is still something to do tomorrow.

Five years have passed, and I have long since left the profession, but I can describe my experience and usage feelings from the perspective of an ordinary city citizen:

In addition to the neat and spacious car lanes There is almost no sense of planning in this city. There is no open green space. The sidewalks are always narrow and long, without shelter and protection. The harsh noises and unpleasant exhaust fumes next to them are uncomfortable. And this It's the road you walk to work every day, and you have to endure it but there's nothing you can do about it.

There is no violation of the shade of trees beside the sidewalk. A tall and cold glass house stands beside you. The surrounding environment is shrouded in a mist of gray impurities, as if countless small noises were added with PS. Due to the fog-shielding effect of the wave, the shops underneath the house are always scattered and closed. The shop owners are not willing to set up a parasol or place two or three tables and stools outside, and there are no people. I'd love to have a coffee and chat outside.

You will feel uncomfortable and awkward at first, but as time goes by, you will become numb: "Everyone is here like this, just make do with it."

Looking back at Beijing Native people have indeed lost something in their lives, but they are not very good at expressing that sadness. The younger generation of Beijing locals I know like to tell others about their childhood, which is life that can no longer be seen. Just like in "Old Paoer", what should disappear has disappeared. What remains is like a deliberate persistence. The younger generation of old Beijingers will still tell you about their childhood. They clearly distinguish between themselves and outsiders, who should be nice and polite to whom, and those who pay attention to omissions, deletions, and face-related matters. It still has to be passable. If you are one of your own, you don't need to say anything, but if you are between yourself and outsiders, they will take the trouble to tell you about their childhood life over and over again, just like someone in "The Last Samurai" This inheritance should be reminded that they have left something of "Beijing?" in the guardian's heart in their own way.

"Sometimes I really wish that Beijing was not Beijing." This is a rare sigh I heard from my former college roommate who liked to talk about "you don't have to be stingy". I can understand this sigh.

Is "Beijing" really that important? Does it need so many industries? Can you pretend?

The answer varies from person to person. Perhaps, as said in "A Brief History of Humanity", the reason why human beings can gather to do greater things is because everyone believes in a same story.

Beijing is like a grand story that weaves together everyone's expectations and desires. It makes both "Beijingers" and "non-Beijingers" immersed in this story, no matter who wants to call it. Wake up....

Perhaps only by breaking through can one stand up. Only when a person mentally separates himself from the blessings given by society can he liberate himself and gain some new inspiration.

Similarly, only by letting go of people’s expectations and blessings can a city find its place again and regain its former vitality.

Of course, it is not bad to neither establish nor destroy. After all, "making do" seems to be a good choice.