Nonviolent Communication Camp Closing Remarks

Remarks at the end of the camp:

After participating in this non-violent communication training camp, I shared my gains from participating in the voice connection during the mid-term. This time I concluded the camp in the form of text, Let’s talk about the audio courses that I really like. The founder of the training camp, Sister Xiaoling, told us that only one person in China has obtained the international certification of non-violent communication. The requirement for obtaining this certificate is that one must live out non-violent communication. This is what I felt in the audio course. I think The coach himself has always set an example, has a gentle tone, and considers the needs of others. This influence is subtle. I have to say that the content of nonviolent communication itself is really good. Can you imagine living in a world with no judgment, few accusations, no labels, and no requirements. Every request is to enrich each other’s lives. You Do you like this kind of world?

In the audio course part, the coach gave some impressive examples to share with you:

What mothers value is hygiene and neatness, while what children value is play.

You can delay it and clean it up later, or compete to see who can clean it up.

I give this example because in life, especially mothers, it is really easy to indulge in the role of self-sacrifice and then the victim, unable to face the messy room again and again, and have done a lot, The relationship may not be handled well, and the child's happiness index may not be high.

Stop and look at your own needs and the needs of your children. Really seeing your children will make the relationship more harmonious and make it easier to enter each other's hearts. In this recurring scenario, do you see the child’s needs?

When people hear criticism and accusations, their first reaction is to fight or run away, to defend, and the connection will be broken. This is not the original intention of communication. If language is not a window, it is a wall. In this example, the wife’s need is for her husband to stay at home more. The wife needs companionship, empathy, affection, and a quality connection with her husband. The act of blaming takes us away from our true needs.

What the husband needs here is to relax. A wife's needs are for her husband to be healthy and to be with his family.

I like this way of communication very much. This example completely uses the four elements of nonviolent communication: facts, feelings, needs, and requests. If all communication in our lives was based on requests, wouldn’t it reduce a lot of friction and conflicts? Moreover, the example shows that the husband needs to relax when he drinks. Before we argue about something, can we think of the other person's needs?

We are saving when we value each other’s needs and building a good connection, and we are saving when we ask permission for the other person to say no. The quality of the connection established determines what kind of feedback we receive when we make requests in the future.

In an intimate relationship, if most of your requests can receive positive responses and feedback, you are more likely to receive support. Can we say that the relationship is smooth and the connection you have established is of high quality? ? Is this what you need?

If so, you are invited to learn nonviolent communication together and enter the door to the world of nonviolent communication.