How to face a person who likes to comment on others

Dear F, it took me several days to reply, because I want to reply well, and I don't want to just throw you a sentence "Everything is tolerant", hehehehehehe.

If there is someone around you who likes to criticize others and comment on everything about others, then congratulations, because you will become strong because of ta! Because such a person or any other person who is different from your way of dealing with people and annoys you is a person who will make you strong! : -)

ha ha ha ha! Honey, it's not that I have no sympathy for you. This is a good opportunity to actually use the magical tool of "second thought" that we talked about.

(Of course, if you directly fight with ta, seriously tell ta that it should be "mind your own business", which is a quick solution, but it is possible that the relationship will be stiff, and I guess this is not what you want. So let's talk about how to solve it gently and peacefully with love. )

I remember listening to a sermon last week. A priest said that when he was in a seminary, he saw two students go to the dean. What happened? They are in the same dormitory, but they can't stand each other. What is it? A doesn't wash his feet before going to bed, and he doesn't take off his socks when he sleeps. B is almost dizzy. B's snoring is loud, and A says that he can't stand it and can't sleep well. So did the dean ask them to change? The result is NO, the dean said, if you two want to serve in the church, be the leaders of brothers and sisters and shepherds in the future, and you can't solve this problem well, then simply don't go to school ..... How did they solve it in the end, the priest didn't say.

when I heard this story about you, I just thought that maybe there is little chance that God will give you a miracle to move you or ta. The more uncomfortable you feel, the more you can't live for a day, and the more time God wants to temper you. You saw the challenges I faced when I first came to the United States a few years ago yesterday. Every day, I simply didn't want to get up and face many people and things I didn't like and didn't want to see. I also complained about how God thought so highly of me, and how he thought I could cope with it. I couldn't help it (just like Moses said again and again that he was clumsy and couldn't take on the task entrusted to him by God). I also asked God to move this environment in various ways, or move me. But his response is just like that of the dean, it is NO!

what should I do at this time? I have to give up the "blame mode" complaining mode and stand up and enter the "problem-solving mode" problem-solving mode.

question 1) every time you are so rudely commented or scolded by ta, you get angry, don't want to break the relationship, and you may have to be depressed for a long time. Then such things often happen, and you are even a little afraid to see ta, not to mention being in an office every day.

to solve this problem, I suggest that at the time of the incident, I immediately jump out of my uncontrollable emotions by exercising, as if watching the scene from the sidelines and telling myself, "Hey, F, ta is pressing your emotional button, don't be manipulated by ta, don't let ta win, you can make that button fail! Although ta is in action, the decision is up to you, and you can keep it from being detonated! " This is also saying to myself that my emotional button should not be controlled by anyone else, I am the master and I control it! )

Let the emotional button not be set off first, then calmly think about whether what ta said is reasonable, thank ta sincerely if you have, and laugh it off if you disagree. If ta is a person who can communicate calmly and well, it is worth learning. If not, don't waste your spirit.

question 2) how to make ta stop such annoying behavior?

I suggest that you can gently express your thoughts to ta once, for example, thank ta for your advice, but it will be more helpful for your discussion if the tone of ta can be changed. If ta can listen, the problem will be solved.

Of course, it is very likely that ta will go its own way, and at this time you will exercise your ability of "turning a deaf ear". This is also what my husband often teaches children. There are many people who like to comment and stupid comments in this world. It's too late for you to refute them one by one, and it's a waste of time. You should learn to ignore them.

if you are still upset after ignore, try to pray for yourself and ta. How many ugly jeers and satires has our Lord heard? He doesn't argue for himself. I also ask God to help ta change this habit, because it is really good for ta. Think about how painful ta's spouse and children will be. I really don't know what ta has done, how many people have been hurt by ta, and it will be very troublesome to pay the bills to the Lord ~~~

Lord, please ~ ~

Give me a calm heart to accept what I can't change.

Give me the courage to do what I can change;

Give me wisdom to distinguish the difference.

Dear, people created by God are really different, but we can't change others. We can only change ourselves, so the way out is still in ourselves.

find ways to love ta, and do more loving acts, such as making a cup of tea for ta, bringing a fruit, or providing some other help. Even if you "pretend" to love first, as C.S. LEWIS said, pretending, that virtuous circle will come out, and more and more natural love will come out-I personally tried this, and it works, and I continue to use it.