I still have a crush on him after 25 years, what should I do?

Author: Miss Cat

On the day Haozi came back from Beijing, Yanxi went to the station to pick him up. She dug out the blue dress from the box and couldn't help but feel a sore nose. This only souvenir that can bear witness to their one-day "lover" has become dull and wrinkled. It feels like it has been covered by a veil of time.

At the airport, Haozi saw Yan Xi in a blue dress and waved to her across the sea of ??people and shouted: Girl Yan! I'm here! Yanxi saw him looking like a giraffe in the crowd, and instantly believed that Beijing could really make people grow taller. Yan Xi was about to rush over and give him a bear hug, but when she saw the long-straight-haired beauty next to him, her flower-like expression suddenly withered. Haozi couldn't wait to introduce her and the long-straight-haired beauty to each other, and then excitedly spoke Chinese to Yan Xi and Beijing dialect to the long-straight-haired girl. As for what he said, Yan Xi had no intention of listening. Yan Xi only knew that Hao Zi patted her shoulder and said to Chang Straight: "Little Yan is my buddy, we grew up together."

The words "buddy" immediately froze her burning heart, and the blue dress on her body made her feel as if she had fallen into the sea, which was extremely cold. When passing the big mirror in the airport, Zhili wanted to tear it to pieces, while the long-straight-haired beauty on the right of Haozi strutted confidently, chatting and laughing with Cheng Jiaying, and she wanted to kiss his face.

Haozi seems to have forgotten the existence of this blue dress.

There were people coming and going in the airport, but Yan Xi felt that the air was particularly cold, as if she was the only one in the entire airport.

Yan Xi went to pick her up at the airport with the mentality of an "old lover", but came back with the title of light bulb. The whole person felt very lost. After Haozi returned home, he called Yanxi every three days to ask Yanxi to attend a party with his buddies, but Yanxi refused.

Yanxi will never forget that in her high school year, Haozi was tragically broken up on the eve of Valentine's Day, but she made an appointment with her buddies to take her girlfriend to the beach for drinking on Valentine's Day. He lay on the table anxiously and asked Yan Xi to give him some advice.

You can take me there, Yan Xi said with a guilty conscience.

Stop making trouble, who doesn’t know you are my buddy, and who allowed you to grow so tall by eating without anything else.

He glanced at Yan Xi and continued to sigh.

Hmph, I still have to think about asking me to go! ! Yan Xi turned away angrily.

In the end, Haozi pretended to be fat and dragged Yanxi along. Yan Xi was deeply impressed. He disliked her dressing up too much like a man, so he went shopping and bought her a blue dress.

That day, Haozi looked at Yanxi, who was half a head taller than him, held up her chin and said: Actually, if you were just a little shorter than me, I wouldn’t have to worry so much.

Yan Xi:...

At the beach, Haozi and a group of his friends ate and drank. Everyone was drunk and wanted to go to the sea rocks to enjoy the breeze. When Haozi was about to go up the steps, he stumbled and fell on Yanxi, forcefully squeezing her off the fence. Just when Yanxi fell into the water, she heard Haozi shouting in panic: Who knows how to swim? Come and save Yanxi! Help me buddy!

Yan Xi thought that at this time, only she and the fish in the sea could hear her submerged cry: I am not your fucking buddy!

A week after Haozi returned to Shenzhen, he blocked Yanxi’s company downstairs.

The first words he spoke were: Miss Yan, Don’t you want me? He leaned against the pillar. The joking tone and naughty posture made Yan Xi almost cry.

Get out! Sister, I am very busy. Yan Xi strode ahead. Now that Haozi is half a head taller than Yanxi, Yanxi doesn't even have the courage to look directly at him. He chased after her and asked her if she had a boyfriend. When are you going to bring him to meet this little guy like me? She said, of course, she has met the parents, and she will introduce him to him when she is free. She said it against her will, but he was very happy to hear it.

Haozi and Yanxi have known each other since kindergarten, until high school, and then at the same university. On Valentine's Day in high school, Yanxi fell into the water, and Haozi, who couldn't swim, rescued her.

After Yan Xi woke up in the hospital, she saw him lying on the bed next to her. The doctor said he just fell asleep with a fever. Yan Xi crept out of bed, and when no one was prepared, she pressed her first kiss on his lips, her heart pounding like a deer. You are acting like a gangster

After graduating from his sophomore year, Cheng Jiaying went to Beijing.

At that time, Haozi was 175cm and Yanxi was 177cm. In the waiting room of the airport, Yan Xi cried and said goodbye to him. Haozi said: "Little girl Yan, as a woman who is 2cm taller than me, it's too pretentious for you to cry like this." Yan Xi held back tears like a flash flood and watched him walk into the security check. At three o'clock in the morning in Beijing, Yanxi received a call from him to report that he was safe, and he cried hoarsely on the other end. After crying, he said: It turns out that a 175cm man cries more pretentiously than a 177cm woman. During the meal, Haozi held lemon juice and said to Yan Xi: Girl Yan, since I have grown taller than you, I feel like I can only look into your eyes.

This world only allows little people to be pitiful. Even though Yan Xi said that she had a boyfriend, Hao Zi still acted like a gangster unscrupulously. Taking advantage of being taller than her, people in the streets and alleys put their arms around Yan Xi's shoulders. .

"Where is your beauty with long straight hair?" Yan Xi asked deliberately casually.

"I only met her on the plane. We naturally went our separate ways after getting off the plane." he answered easily.

"You are acting like a hooligan!" Yan Xi said loudly on purpose, but she felt happy in her heart.

Yanxi’s mother saw Haozi hugging Yanxi in the city, and dragged Haozi home without saying a word. She obviously regarded Haozi as her future son-in-law. She refused to listen to Yanxi's explanations and watched her mother expose her lies.

While her mother went in to pour tea, Yanxi picked up Haozi and ran out of the house.

Haozi ran downstairs and said: Girl Yan, you lied to me! You haven't been in love for so many years... Haozi remembered that when he was in Beijing, he called Yan Xiaoniu to ask about her relationship status. She said she was in love, but two days later she said they broke up again. He also laughed at her for breaking up faster than flipping through a book. .

Yanxi pretended not to hear, took Haozi’s hand, and ran for a long time. The wind whistling by her ears was like a mockery, mocking her timidity. For so many years, she only liked him, but she didn't dare to say anything.

This kind of love that arises from emotion, if it is said rashly without being sure, often leads to the end of friendship. Yanxi knows this very well, and Haozi may also understand it.

That night, Yan Xi said nothing and took Hao Zi to a food stall to get drunk. He drank with her without knowing what was going on, and said, "Little girl Yan, why are you so pretentious all of a sudden?" Yanxi suddenly stood up and raised the bottle of wine and shouted at him: Is it true that in this world, only small girls are allowed to be pitiful, and if I, Yanxi, are occasionally fragile, it will be regarded as pretentious! Get out of here!

Yanxi’s home is on the sixth floor in the old city near the edge of Shenzhen, and there is no elevator.

There are no street lights outside the house, only voice-activated lights on each floor. Before Yan Xi fell in love with Hao Zi, she always shouted her name to light the lamp. Starting from the third grade of junior high school, when she came home from school at night, she would stand in the corridor on the first floor and shout "Haozi". She would shout "Haozi" on each floor, all the way to the sixth floor, for more than ten years.

For this kind of love that can only be hidden in the heart, the smallest comfort is that as soon as you call his name, there will be light.

After getting drunk with Haozi last time, Yanxi started making excuses not to see him again. She has been struggling with whether to express her feelings to Haozi.

Two weeks later in the evening, Yanxi came home from get off work and started shouting from the first floor as usual. Haozi, Haozi!

On the sixth floor, the lights came on as usual.

"Little girl Yan, you..."

She was so frightened that she immediately raised her head and saw Haozi, who was leaning against the security door of her home with a shocked expression. There was another step, and Yan Xi's dangling feet suddenly didn't know where to put them.

Haozi didn’t seem to have recovered yet: Because you have been avoiding me, you had no choice but to come here.

Yan Xi looked straight at him and stopped talking. There was silence all around, and the voice-controlled lights went out. In the darkness, it seemed that only the breathing of two people could be heard.

It’s just that your name is easier to pronounce... As Yan Xi spoke, the lights turned on, but she was interrupted by Hao Zi before she could finish her words.

"Little girl Yan, you obviously have a crush on me...Hey, don't run away!"

Yan Xi was not willing to listen, and she moved her long legs crazily, thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump. Ran downstairs.

Since the voice-activated light incident, Yan Xi has completely gone into hiding, blocking Cheng Jiaying on her phone, email, and MSN.

Yan Xi couldn’t explain why she wanted to avoid him. Anyway, she was just afraid. Perhaps everyone will be as uneasy as Yan Xi when they can be so close to their dream of many years.

Going home on the fourth night, Yanxi went up to the sixth floor. After thinking about it, she called out "Haozi". The lights turned on, and Haozi's voice came in the air: I'm here. Yan Xi looked up suddenly and found Haozi walking down the stairs from the seventh floor. Yan Xi wanted to run again, but Hao Zi rushed up, grabbed her wrist, and forced her into a corner.

"Little girl Yan, do you know? In fact, I have always liked you for so many years, but you have always regarded me as a buddy. I tried it several times before going abroad. This time I returned to Shenzhen, the first The only person I want to see is you."

Haozi said this, and Yanxi felt aggrieved. It was obvious that he regarded her as a buddy. "Haozi, it's true that I like you. In the past, you always disliked me for being taller than you. I have been friends with you for more than ten years. On the only day we were lovers, you still called me buddy. You made the fish in the sea laugh at you. Me."

Yan Xi gasped nervously. "So, go to the sea now and tell those fish that I am not your buddy!"

"How should I say this?" Cheng Jiaying asked, scratching the back of his head.

"Of course I jumped into Houhai and shouted: Yan girl, I love you!"

Yan Xi was just talking, but she didn't expect Haozi to actually pull her there. He went to the beach and jumped in front of her.

The difference is that he shouted - Yan girl, I have always loved you!