Funny and humorous copywriting in friends circle

1. My girlfriend clamored for me to buy her an apple. 6. I said, dear, how can our student party come up with so much money? If you have to buy it, make me sell my kidney! Why don't you ask your father? She nodded sensibly and called her father: "Dad, do you know where I can sell my kidneys?"

2. Walking on the road with my husband, fighting, getting angry and calling names. When the first two men turned around, I pretended to be an innocent girl. Husband said, "Don't pretend, they didn't look at you, just to see which man is so timid."

Today, after school, I bought an ice cream and ate it on the bus home. My little brother next to me watched me eat ice cream. The younger brother turned to pull his mother's clothes and said, Mom, I want to eat ice cream, too. Then I heard my mother say and replied, son, stop it. I want to eat, too

One day, the pig gave the donkey a difficult problem and asked which of the two bugs under the word "stupid" was male and which was female. The donkey racked his brains, but he still couldn't answer. Pig scolds: You are such an ass, man left and woman right!

5. In physics class, the teacher is teaching the harm of lightning, and there is a common sense: Teacher, how should we protect against lightning? The teacher blurted out: Don't do anything wrong! There is laughter in the classroom.

6. My husband watched TV in the back room after dinner last night. I was washing dishes, and one of the bowls cracked. I didn't pay attention, so I scratched my hand at once. I raised my bleeding finger and went into the back room to show it to my husband. The goods looked at it, looking for a band-aid and muttering, "What's the matter, isn't the detergent used harmless?"

7. A gambler saw the words "spring" and "blessing" posted on someone else's doorstep and asked them what they meant: it means "blessing to spring". Thinking that I always lose money, I posted a word upside down at the door, saying it meant money to go home. This is not what his wife pursues while holding a broom. She said, I'll let you pay back the money if I don't kill you.

8. Husband: The doctor said I have arthritis! Wife: Did you ask how it was caused? Husband: Don't ask? You make me kneel on the washboard every day!

9. Once I practiced driving downhill, I was so nervous that I didn't know why I slammed on the accelerator. The coach shouted: brake, brake with your feet. I quickly opened the door and stepped on the ground, rubbing like the devil's pace! After dragging for more than twenty meters, it finally stopped! The coach was scared and asked me to buy him a box of Chinese decompression with 100. I was depressed at that time. Why should I use toothpaste to calm my nerves?

10. I went to eat shabu-shabu and ordered a clear soup pot. I feel my lips numb after eating for a while! Ask the waiter if the pot is wrong, so numb that I can't eat. The waiter checked it and said, "I'm really sorry, let me change the pot for you!" " This pot leaks electricity! "

1 1. After my roommate and boyfriend came back from boredom at night, he opened my quilt and got in! I still read in my mouth: Come on, let you experience the taste of love in single dog for many years, and the taste is still there.

12. I like listening to apples very much recently. In the company, when I went to the bathroom to smoke, the music of Apple suddenly started and I couldn't help jumping up. After about 30 seconds, the weak one behind said, buddy, have you finished dancing? I can answer the phone after dancing. ...

13. I asked my deskmate, "am I tall?" He: "Not high!" Me: "Sure enough, dogs look down on people!" Damn it, why are you still doing it? It hurts me!

14. The wife complained to her husband: "Get up every morning and say' sleepy', tell you to do housework and say' tired', say' starved to death' when cooking late, say' crowded' when going to work by bus, tell you to take a taxi and say' expensive' when riding a bike. The husband said, "I'm bored to death!" "

15. Find an umbrella friend, female, with an umbrella, and I won't buy it for you. I will give you an umbrella after class every day. Recently, the sun is too poisonous, so I'm embarrassed to take an umbrella, for fear that my classmates will call me a bitch!

16. A little girl put a perfume sample in her bag, and the lid fell off, and the car was full of fragrance. The little girl began to wipe the bag with paper towels, and everyone began to see jokes. Suddenly, the uncle sitting next to the little girl changed his face and pointed to the little girl and said, "You, you, you, how can you let people go home?"

17. I was helping my girlfriend's house that day. I accidentally took a bite on my forehead and the blood poured out. My girlfriend was frightened, holding my face, tearfully took out a piece of chewing gum from her mouth and stuck it on the wound.

18. When I was at school, I suddenly felt a stomachache in the self-study class one day and farted, but the classroom was very quiet and I didn't dare to play it loudly, so I had to play it bit by bit, and finally a little noise came out. The climax was that the second-rate classmate in the back row came over and said, it's quite fart, let you go. A burst of laughter broke out in the classroom. ...