Light-hearted humorous stories and jokes

When you live in society as a natural person, you must become a social person consciously or unconsciously. This does not depend on your willingness or not. Assimilate to society or be assimilated by society. This is when we need to learn humor. I have collected some for you below, come and take a look with me.

Selected

1 "In a physiology class, the female teacher said after finishing the class: "Students, if anyone still doesn't understand anything, please raise your hands and ask, teacher. Give you the answer. "After a while, a male classmate raised his hand and asked the female teacher seriously: "Teacher, when men and women have sex, is it more comfortable for men? Or for women?" The female teacher thought for a moment. Said: "When you pick your nose with your hands, does it feel better for your nose? Or does it feel better for your hands?" The male student thought, "Well, it feels better for my nose!" The female teacher then asked, "Students, who doesn't understand?" Please raise your hand to ask a question, and the teacher will answer it for you. " After a moment of silence, the male classmate raised his hand and asked the female teacher: "Teacher, when men and women have sex, is it comfortable to wear a condom, and..."

2 At the beginning of this semester, a girl named "He Ping" was transferred from another school to the class. Everyone in the class welcomed her with both hands and feet, but her name was the same as the original one. A boy named "Heping" has the same name. Although there are some differences in the writing methods, misunderstandings will inevitably occur during roll call. For this reason, a class meeting was held to discuss how to solve this problem. Yan Wo spoke in a nutshell. "This is a small problem. It's easy to solve. Just change one of the names. "You can't just change the name." "Actually, there is no need to change the spelling, just change the name." "Everyone agreed to just change the name, so the discussion started again. ...

3 Like most countries, in the Federal Republic of Germany, schools have become more and more Even so, most principals thought it was important to know the names of all current students. At one meeting, one principal recognized one of his former students. Mr. Luo, a student in class, right?" "Indeed, Mr. Principal. "The young man replied. "You see, I never forget the name of any old student. "The principal said proudly, "So what job are you doing now?"...

4 "On this day, a message was posted on the door of the school cafeteria: "Lost and Found: I I found a wallet in the teacher's apartment with some cash in it...""When I read it the next day, I found that the title of this revelation had changed to ""Don't Recruit It from Teachers""!"

5 The anatomy teacher’s class was not exciting. Very few people in the class were listening, and most of them were talking about chatting, WeChat, and games. Just now!! He said, students, please pay attention. I will say. In a word, hand in your mobile phone after class, and the remaining battery of your mobile phone will be your final exam score! ***, this is a rhythm that wants to kill us!

6 "Hello, you scumbags!" Hello, top students! "" Good job, you scumbags! " "Be at the bottom for the top students! "

7 One day I saw a weird test paper, as follows: "Teacher, I don't know how to do it, but you don't need to do the rest. "As a result, the teacher turned to the second page, which read: "Teacher, you don't believe me, do you..."

8 John is a smart child, his grades are not very good, but everything is unique. Once, the teacher asked a psychologist to test him, and the expert asked straightforwardly: "Whose work is "Romeo and Juliet"?" "How would I know?" John said indifferently. He replied: “At my age, I don’t know how to read Shakespeare’s works. ”

9 During the geography class, the geography teacher asked the students: “What phenomena will occur during a solar eclipse?” "Everyone ran out to see!" the student replied.

10 The teacher asked Georgie: "Do you know what the king of beasts is?" Georgie replied: "Yes." It's Tom's dad. "Why?" The teacher was not satisfied with this answer. "Because his father is the director of the zoo!"

11 Xiao Guangfu was restless in class in the kindergarten. The teacher warned him many times and asked him to concentrate. But he always sat on the stool and swayed from side to side.

The teacher asked him angrily: "Guangfu, why are you always restless? Are you happy?" "Yes." Guangfu said, "My father promised me that he would buy me a motorcycle when he waits for me. "

12 Once after class, everyone had to go home. When I was going down the stairs, I stepped on my right foot with my left foot and fell in the middle of the road with a big "snap". . I thought at the time: No, I’m really embarrassed, I’m pretending to be dizzy. As a result, the classmate next to me saw that I was motionless, so he quickly helped me up, and then slapped me wildly from left to right...

13 The teacher was giving a national defense education class to primary school students and asked what weapons everyone knew? Many children Everyone answered: Pan...

14 I wish to have a top student and stay together till the end of my life. Take me to self-study and answer thousands of questions in one day. Review CET-4 and CET-6 and give me exam questions. Sit next to me in the examination room and help me take off my clothes. He took the test of ninety-eight and I took the test of ninety-seven. Good friends every year, never separated from generation to generation!

15 In the university dormitory, there are two boys who are very good brothers. A few days later, a boy made a girlfriend, a beautiful girl from his class. One day, this boy bought some underwear online and gave it to his girlfriend. After it was mailed, the boy inspected the goods in the dormitory. When another boy saw it, he said: "Didn't she have one of these?"

16 "The teacher found a student while marking the papers. Explain the word like this: Years and months: The time is too long, and the moon is tired. The teacher frowned. Soon he found another student’s answer: The New Year’s time is too long, and even the moon is tired."

17 The teacher assigned a composition title "The Me After" in the fifth grade composition class. Xiaomei, a girl in the class, wrote: ...The weather is nice today. I took my child to the park to play. I drove the high-end car that my husband bought for me, and I wore it on my finger. He just bought it for me. A big diamond ring, and a gold chain that he gave me just last month hung around my neck. I was walking in the park with my lovely child, and people looked at me with envy everywhere. Suddenly, a homeless old lady with a stinky body and mud on her face rushed out on the road. I took a closer look and saw, Oh my god! She turned out to be my Chinese teacher in the fifth grade of elementary school.

18 I was in Chinese language class in junior high school, and I was learning "The Last Lesson". The teacher read the text to everyone first, and read the last paragraph: "..'get out of class is over, you can go'...." , a classmate was sleeping at the time. Hearing this sentence, he rushed out of the classroom with this schoolbag, and the whole class laughed....

19 Our old man who taught chemistry was very short-sighted, and once in class, he put something on the blackboard After writing on the blackboard, he turned around and suddenly pointed at me and shouted: What are you doing standing there!! Sit down!! I was sitting in the last row of seats, and my coat was hanging on the wall behind me...

20 I have a crush on the handsome guy in the class who practices Sanda, but I don’t understand any hints. One day, he mustered up the courage to put a note in his textbook: "At xx o'clock in the evening on xx, xx, we will see you under the third tree in the playground." I was shy and didn't sign my name. That day, I was waiting under the tree very elegantly. The handsome guy came, followed by a group of figures. The moonlight was bright, and when the handsome man saw the figure under the tree, he shouted: "You wrote the challenge?!" . . .

On the 21st, a great responsibility will be handed down to this person. He must first steal his QQ, block his Weibo, take away his computer, and seize his mobile phone, so he should focus on studying so that he can not fail the exam!

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Full Episodes

1 On the weekend, the whole class went to the zoo. A gorilla sat melancholy behind the railing, looking forward and motionless. No matter how we tease it or speak loudly, it always turns a deaf ear and its eyes are fixed as if by a magnet. Some people say that it is a blind man? Some people say that it is a wise man? Suddenly, the gorilla suddenly turned its eyes, and we all looked in the direction: not far away, there was a young girl, fashionably dressed, walking in a fashionable manner. Walked by gracefully. . . . .

2 A beautiful woman went to Chanel and fell in love with an ultra-low-cut evening dress. She tried it on immediately. When she came out, she asked the store owner: Boss, is this dress too low-cut? Boss: Excuse me, miss, do you have chest hair? The beauty said angrily: What are you talking about? Why do people have chest hair? Boss: That is indeed too low.

3 The person in charge of the beach implicitly said to a beautiful woman wearing a three-point swimsuit: "We do not allow two-part swimsuits here." The beautiful woman replied: "Okay, then you can see which part is more suitable for me to remove. ?”

4 A maintenance man came to repair the TV, and there was only one very sexy woman at home.

The maintenance man kept looking at the woman while repairing the TV. After the repair was completed, the woman said to the maintenance man: "I have an embarrassing request. Can you agree to it?" The maintenance man felt something vaguely and said "yes" repeatedly. The woman continued: "The thing is, my husband's body is very weak, and some things cannot be blamed on him. You see, you are a man and I am a woman... In fact, I noticed your strong body as soon as you came in... ..." The man's saliva almost flowed out, and he couldn't wait to say: "Then let's get started!"...

5 A man went to visit his friend, but only the friend was young and beautiful. His wife was at home, and he was so bold that he seduced her into sleeping with him in exchange for the fact that he was willing to give her yuan. She thought about it and thought it was a good deal and it was easy money, so she actually went to bed with him. After dark, her husband came back from get off work and asked, "Has Fadi been here today?" "He has been. Why are you asking him?" she replied guiltily. "Did he give you yuan?" "What? yuan?" She felt panicked. "Well!" the husband said: "I lent him yuan last month and promised to pay it back to me today."

6 A newly married soldier wrote to his wife: "You will pay me back this week." Come over if you have nothing to do. I need someone to accompany me and I am short of money. Please bring yuan when you come. If you can't come, please send yuan."

7 In the evening, my husband went to the bar to have fun. . My wife was upset at home. It was almost two o'clock in the morning and her husband hadn't come back yet! So she sent a text message: "Come back quickly and hand in your homework!" I won't explain what handing in homework means, but after a long time there was still no response. , my wife couldn’t help but called her, and found that her phone was turned off! My wife was extremely angry! At this time, a strange number suddenly sent a message: I collected your homework for you!

8 A man left work early. A man came home and found his wife in bed with a strange man. He shouted angrily: "You bastard, I will make you pay for this." The strange man replied: "Nonsense, when I came in I I've already paid for it, I won't default on it!"

9 At a certain national highway toll station, a truck driver complained to the female toll collector: You have to climb two mountains to get here, it's too tiring. . The female toll collector said: Go down a little and you will reach flat ground. The driver said: Is there any grass next? Female toll collector: @#[email?protected]#[email?protected]#

10 A man saw a beautiful female nurse and fancied her. Said: "Miss, can you lift your skirt up, I can give you money." The lady lifted up the skirt a little and got it. "Miss, could you please lift it up a little more?" The lady lifted it up a little more and got it again. "Can you lift it a little higher?", the man said. The lady replied: "Don't you just want to see the place where a woman gives birth? You always give me yuan and I will let you see as much as you want."...

11 Mother and Daughter The two took a taxi through the city center. The daughter saw some sexy women standing on the street corner and asked her mother: "What are they doing?" "They are waiting for their husbands to have dinner together after get off work." The mother replied. "Oh my God!" the taxi driver couldn't help but interrupt, "Madam, you should tell the truth. They are prostitutes, waiting for clients to visit!" "Can prostitutes give birth to children?" The daughter asked her mother curiously. "Of course," my mother replied angrily, "otherwise, who would be the taxi driver?"

12 There was a man driving his girlfriend in a sports car. The woman got up and said to the man: "If you drive the car to 150, I will take off my clothes." The man said: "What's the problem?" Then he stepped on the accelerator and drove to 180, the woman Sure enough, he took off his clothes. Just then an accident happened and the car overturned. The man was stuck in the car and couldn't get out, so he asked his girlfriend to get help quickly. Woman: "But I don't have any clothes on!!" Man: "Then I'll lend you a shoe and you cover the important parts." So his girlfriend held on to her shoe and ran to the neighborhood to ask for help. She went to the gas station and breathlessly told the guy at the gas station: "Hurry...hurry...help my...boyfriend, he is...stuck...stuck in there and can't get out!!" ......

13 After a man died, he came to hell. It was very hot in hell. But he saw a very beautiful woman in hell, and there was a bottle of fine wine beside her. He turned around and said to the kid: "It turns out that hell is so beautiful, with fine wine and beautiful women.

The little ghost said: "You only know one thing, but you don't know the other thing. There is a hole at the bottom of this bottle of wine that you can't drink from, but the beauty doesn't have it." ”

14 a: Since his girlfriend came on a business trip, my waist is no longer sore every day, my legs are no longer weak, and I don’t even doze off at work... b: Since his girlfriend came on a business trip, I Backache, weak legs, dozing off at work...

15 As soon as a man walked into the clinic, he eagerly said to the doctor: "Doctor! Please help me! I really can't bear the pain!" "The doctor couldn't help being shocked when he saw it: "Oh my god! Your nose was reworked! It's swollen like a baby boy!" The patients all said with shame: "Hey! In order to do that, I ate more. A few copies of Viagra!" Doctor: Wow! How could this happen!? Let's do it! Invite your 'friend' out and let me take a look." The man did as he was told. After looking at it, the doctor said with great certainty: "I said Well, you eat more at first, so it turns out that it came from the wrong place!"

16 Regarding the decision on the punishment of Brother Sheng for blowing stuffy cigarette farts. Regarding the issue of punishing Comrade Sheng for blowing stuffy cigarette farts, after research It was decided that Comrade Sheng should be punished as follows: 1. After farting, stay there alone until the fart smell disappears; 2. Take off your pants before farting and then fart; 3. If you don’t tell me before farting, you will After farting, eat a pound of peas. Hereby decided! Family Committee

17 A man kissed a strawberry on his girlfriend’s neck and was seen by his seven-year-old niece. The niece said: “Auntie, what’s wrong with your neck?” I’m sorry. The answer: "It was bitten by a dog." The niece said in surprise: "Ah? Did you get the injection? You will get rabies." A certain woman replied calmly: "I got it, I just got it last night!" She understood in seconds. No?

18 There are two young couples who have not been married for a long time. Although they don’t have a car for the time being, it has become an indispensable habit for the couple to hang out in the car after dinner every day. Filling water, doing care, making bricks... car knowledge is increasing every day... It's late, go to bed. After the couple went to bed, they began to be affectionate. The wife caressed her husband: Why is the paint surface of a domestic car so rough? The husband caressed his wife: Isn’t it also a joint venture car? It’s just a metallic paint. The wife couldn't wait and touched her husband's underside. Wife: Why aren't you on the road yet? Husband: Don't worry, it's a cold start. It's still necessary to warm up the car after ignition. Wife: Didn’t you see the post just now? Experts say that heating the car in place after ignition is bad for the car! Husband: You are too incomplete. Who can press the accelerator on a cold car like you? You should keep it warm every time you start the car. It becomes a habit of "heating the car". Keep the car warmed in place for a few minutes. After it is fully lubricated, it will be of great benefit to the service life of your car. ......

19 One day, a boy had just completed a circumcision operation, and a female nurse was preparing to remove his stitches and change his dressing. The patient said to the female nurse: Slow down, slow down, a little bit. pain. The nurse sister said humorously: Are you enjoying this process? Otherwise, why would you tell me to slow down? I saw the patient's embarrassment and couldn't help laughing.

20 At three o'clock in the morning, the doctor's phone rang. "Hello?" The other end of the phone was in a panic: "Doctor, our baby just swallowed a condom." The doctor said, "Bring him to the hospital. We will meet at the hospital in ten minutes." He got dressed and was getting ready. When I was about to go out, the phone rang again. He picked up the phone. "Hello?" A very calm voice came from the other end of the phone: "It's okay, doctor, we found another one, don't bother you." The girl and the boy fell in love with each other, and their feelings grew stronger, but they never went too far. The girl couldn't help it anymore and gave the guy a delicate condom as a hint. Unexpectedly, the young man proposed to break up the next day. The girl was distraught and regretful. At this time, the young man was complaining to his buddy: This woman is so awesome. She wanted to break up but she didn't tell me directly. She gave her a broken balloon and hinted that I would blow it up. md. If she did, she would blow it up.

21 I have a very good relationship with a girl in college. Every time I send her back to the dormitory, she always hugs me when she is about to go upstairs, because graduation will definitely separate the two places, and we never tell her. In the first year after graduation, the whole class got together, and we hugged each other familiarly. I said, "You haven't changed at all after working for a year, and you are still so beautiful!" She smiled evilly and said, "You have changed a lot. , now you won’t poke me even if you hug me!”

22 Son, you really make your father and me proud. If you don’t know how to take the exam, then you can’t. Why did you write couplets on the test paper? First couplet: My son’s questions are too difficult. Second line: Sun Tzu’s invigilation is too strict. Hengpi: I don’t know how.

I was invited to the office by your class teacher and I laughed when I saw the test paper. The teacher stared at me!

23 "Old baby, I asked my husband: "You call me baby now, when we have children, You call your child baby, so what do you call me?" The husband replied: "Old baby. "Wind, rain! My husband talked about his experience of marrying me: "Wind, come on; rain, come on; let the storm come more violently! So, my wife is here. "There is rice, but I am very sad. My husband never likes to eat rice. When I eat steamed buns at night, I will say: "If there are dumplings, I will never eat steamed buns; if there are steamed buns, I will never eat fried cakes; if there are fried cakes, I will never eat steamed buns; if there are steamed buns, I definitely don't eat rice; with rice... I'm sad. "The Toad Prince's husband was drinking, and I got angry: "If I drink any more, we will get divorced! Three-legged toads are hard to find, and two-legged men are everywhere!~" My husband said, "I am your legendary Toad Prince. Is it hard to find a three-legged toad? Congratulations! You found it. "..."

24 A fellow clerk, Xiaoli, fell asleep at her desk at noon. Several male colleagues next to us were watching football league games on their mobile phones. Everyone shouted: "Cum, cum!!" Xiaoli woke up from her sleep and shouted: "Don't cum inside"... At that time, everyone was confused. . .

Encyclopedia

1 I was watching TV on the sofa, and my wife sat on my lap wrapped in a bath towel and said charmingly: "Uncle, you want this little girl, right?" "I deliberately kept calm: "No, no, uncle, I don't have any money today!" Wife: "It's all about money. I just want to make the little girl happy, and I can make up for the IOU afterwards!" I'm dizzy~~~~ ~There is still a debt in this matter! I held up my wife's chin with one hand and said teasingly: "Girl, come on, sing a song for me!" My wife clapped my hand and said, "Sir, sir. , please be more respectful, little girl, I only sell my body and not my art!” Surprise~~~~~~Now the muzzle is on! I was lying on the bed reading a book after taking a bath, and my wife came out of the bathroom and a hungry tiger pounced on me. He stood up and said with a ferocious face: "Hey, I'm good-looking, little girl, I want to try something new today!" I fought to the death. When my wife saw that I refused to obey, she turned to me and said gently: "Uncle, are you going to obey this little girl?" I said, "Give me a reason first!" My wife turned around and said: "This little girl has just been released from prison. I haven’t eaten meat for several years! "My mom~~~~~~~This is a good reason, and there is absolutely no reason not to follow it!...

2 When staying in a hotel alone, When he took the elevator upstairs, the elevator stopped at a floor and a beautiful woman walked in. He was stunned and kept watching. Beauty: "Is there anything good to see? You haven't seen it, have you, country bumpkin?" He replied: "Yes, it's nothing. My wife also has a set of pajamas like yours."

3 "You finally It's online!" "Yes." "We have shipped the inflatable doll you bought yesterday, but the Fan Bingbing version you asked for online is no longer in stock, so we sent you the Sister Feng version. , but you can rest assured of the quality. I will give you a price. The goods have been sent by express. Dear, remember to give a good review!"

4 Before his son got married, his father embarrassedly taught him: When the time comes, it's okay for you to be on top and she to be on the bottom. On the wedding night, the bride saw that the new bed had been changed into bunk beds.

5 Keane asked his girlfriend: "Am I the first man to court you?" "Yes, you are the first. Other men are straightforward and never sloppy. ”

6 That year, I went to the Canton Fair with a colleague. I was constantly harassed by calls from girls in the hotel, which was very annoying. By chance, we found out that the room number of the lady who called us was probably in The hotel reserved a room and then used the extension number to harass her, so we naturally found out the lady’s extension number. Many hotel extension numbers are arranged by room number. So one afternoon we were harassed again: "Can I ask you, Miss?" After being rejected, we were aggrieved, so our colleague called back. As expected, the lady who answered the phone was the same girl. The colleague asked seriously and lowered his voice: "Can I ask you, Sir?".

It is estimated that the young lady has never encountered such a situation. She paused for a few seconds and said angrily: "Yes, I want your head!"...

7 School assembly, dean of students The final conclusion: "In short, I hope that no matter where you are, you must remember that you are a student of this school. You must not smoke while walking or wear shorts in the classroom. Even in your own room, you are not allowed to smoke while walking." Don't talk about indecent topics. "Also, female students, if some pig boys pester you, you must ask yourself whether it is worth ruining your life for one hour of happiness. reputation?" "Okay, is there any problem?" Just when the audience was silent, a delicate voice suddenly came out and said: "Excuse me... what should I do to make him last for an hour?" Speaking of Wukong When I borrowed the banana fan from Princess Iron Fan, it happened to be the time when the Bull Demon King came back from get off work. The Bull Demon King heard the following conversation at the door: Wukong: "Sister-in-law, I'm inside you!" Princess Iron Fan: "Ah! No!!! Ah!!! It hurts!!! Don't move. Ah, please." Come out quickly!!! Ah..." Wukong: "Okay, I'm about to come out! Please open your mouth, sister-in-law!!!" Princess Iron Fan: "Ah——" The Bull Demon King heard this and was at home. A divorce agreement was left at the door, and he left sadly.

8 A man went to the business hall to renew his subscription. Man: "I pay the broadband fee for half a year." Waitress: "It's best to pay it once a year." Man: "But I only bring half a year's money!" The waitress patiently explained: "You'd better pay it once a year." One year is more cost-effective." Man: "I told you, it's only for half a year, hurry up." Waitress: "It's not a man to be so stingy." The man said angrily, "Then tell me. *** How long does it take to be considered a man!" A girl from the forum with whom I had a close relationship was in a bad mood, so she took me out to have dinner with her. Halfway through the meal, she ordered a bottle of beer, and then asked me: "Can you drink some wine with me? I'm in a terrible mood today!" I hesitated, "Well, I'm sorry, I don't know how to drink." "Oh. , I’m not very good at drinking, and I’ll get drunk after just one bottle, and I’ll mess with my family members when I’m drunk, ugh~” After saying that, he gave me a resentful look. I thought for a moment, then turned around and shouted: "Waiter, four more bottles of beer!!"

9 A couple held a wedding ceremony in a church. When it came time to exchange rings, the nervous groom actually forgot this matter. The pastor anxiously raised his finger to make a ring gesture, and blinked as a hint to the groom. The groom's face turned red and he stammered: "Pastor, didn't you just do that on the wedding night tonight?"

10 A lonely man entered the bar and had nothing to say to the boss. Chat: "I'm running for president again..." The boss quickly stopped and said, "Don't talk about it. No one can talk about politics in my bar. It's too boring." The man changed the topic and added: "I heard John Paul II..." He was interrupted again: "Don't talk about religion, it's too boring." "Then let's talk about football. The Paris PSG team has been losing repeatedly recently..." "Don't mention this, how many people are there. Just because we talk about football, we start fighting here..." The man couldn't bear it anymore, held his breath, and asked: "Then let's talk about sex?"...

11 When taking the elevator , the man was surprised to find a fully naked woman in the elevator. The woman rolled her eyes at him and cursed: "What are you looking at? What's so good about it!" "Oh! I just want to say that my wife also has a leather jacket like this."

12 A *** She has always gone her own way, even when feeding her child breastmilk in public, she never showed any signs of shyness. Once, he and his husband took their child to a restaurant for dinner. The child started crying because of hunger, so he lifted up the corner of his clothes and breastfed the child. The waiter in the restaurant walked beside her and politely asked her not to breastfeed in public. *** was very angry and said: "Don't you think breastfeeding is obscene and indecent?" "No!" The waiter politely pointed to the notice on the wall and said: "But it is forbidden to eat food that is not provided by the restaurant. "

13 "The husband came home and found his wife having an affair with his best friend, so he shot them dead. As a result, he was also convicted of murder. The news appeared on the front page the next day, and the neighbors talked about it. One of the neighbors who lives above the couple expressed his opinion: "It's lucky it happened on Friday, otherwise the situation would have been much worse.

"Neighbors said with disapproval that what could be worse than two people dying and one going to jail? "Because if her husband comes back on Thursday, it will be me who dies! Wouldn't it be worse?" Upstairs? The neighbor said: "

14 A girl went to buy eggs with her cat in her arms. When she put the cat down at the stall to pick eggs, the male stall owner praised the cat: "Your penis is so big!" The girl was angry and said nothing. , the southern stall owner said again: Your *** is so white! The girl was furious: If you keep talking nonsense, I will crush your balls!

15 Blind date, sitting opposite each other in a teahouse with a girl . After getting to know both parties' work, education, family, and hobbies, the conversation got stuck, so we started talking about social topics. Me: What do you think of the real estate market? mm was stunned for a moment, then bowed her head and was silent for a while: It’s better...it’s better not to do it too often...

16 The wife quarreled with her concubine, and the husband loved her and deliberately scolded her Said: "It's better to kill you, so as not to annoy her." When the concubine heard her husband say this, she fled back to the room crying, and her husband chased her with a knife. The wife thought her husband was really going to kill the concubine, so she chased her to see the concubine and saw the two having sex. My wife said, "I'm crying loudly. If you want to kill like this, you'd better kill me first!"

17 A woman had just given birth to a baby. She had too much milk and the swelling hurt. Unfortunately, her son was already fast asleep. , she couldn’t find a breast pump. In desperation, she asked her husband to help her suck breast milk. It happened that a male intern doctor saw her and said: Sorry, madam, I think you held the wrong child.

18 "Son, you really make me proud of your father. If you can't take the exam, then you can't. Why did you write couplets on the test paper. The first couplet: My son's questions are too difficult. The second couplet: My grandson The invigilation is too strict. Hengpiao: I don’t know how. I was invited to the office by your class teacher and I laughed when I saw the test paper. The teacher stared at me! A certain beauty decided to spend a lot of money to lose weight. After spending more than 100,000 yuan, She felt very satisfied! On the way home, she bought a newspaper at a newsstand. When she was looking for money, she asked the boss: "Excuse me, how old do you think I am?" The boss said: She was so happy! Then, she went to sell it. When Lao asked the lady at the counter the same question, the lady said, "I guess she was so happy: No!" She was so happy that she went to the Uni-President supermarket on the corner to buy a pack of chewing gum. She couldn't help but ask the lady at the counter there again, "Yeah." I guess she was so proud: Thank you! While waiting for the bus, she asked the old man next to me. He said, "I can't see it because of my bad eyes. But there is a way to be sure when you are young." If I put my hand in your bra, I can definitely tell how old you are..."

19 A colleague got divorced because he found his wife cheating on him after returning home from a business trip. I asked him how he found out. He said: Through condoms. I asked: "What, the condoms are missing?" "No, there were still condoms when I left, and they were still there when I came back." "What happened?" "When I left, it was James Bond, and when I came back, it was Durex. "It's..."

20 When I first started working, I went on a business trip to a far away place. It was the first time I invited someone to dinner. After we had a good meal, I asked the waiter: "Are there any sanitary napkins?" The waiter's eyes widened and he said, "What?" I repeated: "Sanitary napkins!" The waiter's face turned red. He said: "We don't have them here. If you need them, we can buy them." I was wondering, the hotel didn't have sanitary napkins. Is it wrong? Then I went to buy them. After a while, the waiter brought a pack of sanitary napkins on a shiny tray. Peace and happiness, I took the test, actually what I wanted to say was the napkin, I drank too much.

21 There are two fishermen brothers, both of whom are married. Unfortunately, their family is poor and they can only live together. The two brothers share a fishing boat. The couple's life is out of sync every night, the fishing boat keeps shaking, and the two brothers are distressed. After thinking about it for a long time, we reached a tacit agreement: drinking wine is the name. The elder brother or younger brother said: Let’s have a drink together! Do it at the same time.

One day, after the two brothers finished, the younger brother was overjoyed and said: Brother! Let’s have another drink together! The elder brother replied: Brother, just one cup!

22 One day the director of the Women’s Federation came to a certain village to inspect the work. , the following is what he said: Hello everyone, you have done a good job. I am a big old man. How thick I am, your female village chief knows. We talked all night last night, and then she found out what I am, I know how deep she is...

23 I got up at around three o'clock this morning and went to QQ Farm to steal vegetables. My ex-girlfriend's pomegranate happened to be ripe, so I stole it without mercy. I didn't expect it when I got up in the morning. After Ban opened QQ space, I saw the message my ex-girlfriend left for me: If you were as lively as you are now at night, I would not break up with you.