What is the American concept of sex? (turning)

I often watch American movies. Americans are generally more open before marriage, and their feelings are relatively stable after marriage. Husband and wife are loyal to each other. In domestic public opinion and the general impression of Chinese people, the United States is an immoral country, among which "sexual openness" is the most obvious. It seems that "one-night stands" are popular in China now, and people will also blame the influence of Americans. Apart from these, it seems that all the initiators are Americans, such as adolescent sexual problems, hasty divorce and marriage, irresponsible children, homosexuality and so on. At the same time, Americans actually pay great attention to loyalty. Whether it's love or sex, cheating on your lover is absolutely not allowed. At the same time, people often have sex in dating, which is based on their good feelings for each other to prepare for further development. From many examples, it can be seen that people who have a lover and are philandering are despised by the public, while China's so-called "one-night stand" is completely different. Chatting online, meeting, going to bed, getting out of bed and blacklisting are purely for venting. It is undeniable that the age of sexual experience in the United States is relatively early, and there are many sexual partners before marriage. This is because Americans have a relatively loose understanding of sex, unlike China, who is as serious as a monkey jumping a stone. Americans have perfect sex education for teenagers. No one takes it as serious as killing people, but teenagers have not been hurt too much. In China, there are many reports that some girls are pregnant and don't know what's going on. It's ironic. This is no exaggeration. I know several girls, and I don't know why I have my period when I go to college, and I don't know how to get pregnant. If it is violated, I'm afraid they don't know anything about it. In addition, American parents encourage children who have just entered adolescence to try love. By the time children reach adulthood, they have formed a relatively mature concept of love. Few people hang themselves or curse "men/women have no good things" when they are lovelorn. Strangely, contrary to China, Americans who casually talk about sex are very cautious about marriage. The average American has to go through several years of love and get to know each other before he can meet his parents and establish a relationship. When an American man proposes marriage, he must buy a diamond ring and kneel on one knee before he can say the most solemn compliment to his girlfriend. Generally speaking, China people have to get along for several years before they can get married, but when it comes to sex, China people obviously value sex more than marriage. Often because of a wrong or even forced sexual relationship, or the relationship between status and money, parents can finalize their children's lifelong events without hesitation, and only consider "cooking raw rice into mature rice" without considering the issue of lifelong coexistence. I'm afraid there is no more hasty view of marriage and love than this. In fact, American parents' laissez-faire is limited, and at the same time, it is not as generally believed that children are completely ignored when they reach the age of 18. Children's wedding expenses are generally borne by parents, relatives and friends come to hold wedding banquets, and everyone gives gifts and red envelopes. It turns out that Americans are so conservative about sex. The United States is a country with a huge middle class as the mainstream. The views, values and actions of the middle class are the most representative and decisive, including the concept of "sex". On the issue of maintaining family relations, Americans attach more importance to feelings. Same-sex marriage is legal and non-discriminatory in the United States. I remember reading a report that a woman in China was divorced with a son, but she could never remarry in China, and others didn't like her with children. Later, she went to America and talked about an American boyfriend. After she told the man that she had a son, she was excitedly picked up by the man and turned around several times. The man is about to pick up the child and marry the woman. For other people's children, the American view is: "I went to the store to buy a TV, but the salesman gave me another DVD player for free." How happy! " Americans believe that as long as there is love, anything can be tolerated. As long as this person loves himself now, then her past and everything about her are acceptable and inclusive. Although China people have long written "old people and old people, young people and young people", who really did it? An example of a woman studying in the United States: there is a little thing that can explain the problem. Before my husband and I got married, one day, he came to Manhattan and dropped by the company to see me. We chatted downstairs for a while and kissed each other before leaving. After I came up, a middle-aged woman whose husband died suddenly looked mysterious and said loudly, "Kathy and I saw Anna (my English name) kissing someone today." Then, everyone exclaimed. I quickly said it was my boyfriend, and we were getting married soon. My colleagues turned to congratulate me again. For me at that time, the voice of congratulations was like the voice of forgiveness. There is a beautiful park not far from our company. The lawn is green and the trees are shaded. People who work in this area like to sit there at lunch time. One day, an American I used to know invited me to the park to buy fast food and chat, because he also worked nearby. We sat in the chair and I told him that I would get married soon. He was a little sad and took my hand to send me back to the company after dinner. When I arrived at the company, I found out what those people were saying. After a while, I heard Dana whisper behind me, "I saw you holding hands with a man in the park." I paused, but before I could answer, Kathy continued, "And it wasn't the man you kissed downstairs." Later, I found out how much white people value the loyalty between marriage, family and lovers. Two older men are full of emotion when they mention their wives and children. They met their wives when they were young, lived together for a long time, and still loved each other very much. A very short old woman walks up to my desk with a cane every morning around 10, calls my husband on Wall Street, says hello to each other, and ends with "Dear, I love you". In the back room sat a man in his early thirties, blond and very beautiful. His energy and enthusiasm often make the company full of sunshine. He works well, cares about politics and often participates in various social activities. He is a typical young American. On the wall next to his desk hangs a huge desk calendar with a photo of him and his wife. Every day after lunch, he will definitely call his wife who is a supervisor in a big company, ask her how she felt at work that day, comfort her and say "I love you" to her. He told me that they fell in love in high school and got married after graduating from college. He loves her very much and is proud of her. They are trying to become millionaires before the age of 40. They have never had children because they want to spend more time together. Americans may enjoy less freedom than the open areas of China today. This is not the result of political constraints, but mainly the voluntary constraints of individuals with their own expectations of the future and social status. Speaking of which, I remembered another interesting thing. I recently met an excellent 40-year-old man from China. He is tall and handsome, and his education and financial situation are good. He entrusted me with the opportunity to introduce my girlfriend. He has been divorced for several years, but he has been living alone. I asked him why he didn't find one in China. He said that he went back to Beijing not long ago to find someone, but when he came into contact with women there, he couldn't help but panic. He said that many girls in Beijing are too open. Once he got together at a friend's house, and many celebrities and rich people gathered together. According to the local custom (terrible custom), some beautiful women from song and dance troupes and film circles will be called to accompany them. Because of his simple clothes, he can neither dance nor sing OK (this is not an American custom). All the ladies regard him as a hired handyman and don't even look at him. They always pose with those guys who clearly mark the price. Later, I learned that he is the vice president of an American company, who owns a huge tree-lined house in the United States and holds a prototype passport. This is the only way to wake up like a dream, and to flatter him in every way makes him sick and disheartened. This is also the sexual concept of ordinary people in new york, an international metropolis famous for its madness and openness. In small and medium-sized cities in the United States, the simplicity of folk customs and the conservatism of sexual concepts are even more unbelievable. According to the report, Americans' sexual attitudes and behaviors are quite different from what people used to think. In the past, many people thought that Americans' sexual behavior was casual and free, and they could have sex when they met by chance. However, this study shows that 75% of married men and 85% of married women have a stable marriage relationship, and partners treat each other sincerely and trust each other. Most people say that only by maintaining a stable marriage relationship can they live the life of two of a kind forever. Sexual freedom and sexual liberation do not seem to be the mainstream of contemporary American view of human nature. As for the reason why this result is inconsistent with people's previous understanding, relevant experts analyze it this way: in the past, people's understanding of American sexual life mostly came from movies, TV dramas, novels and other literary works. The pursuit of exaggeration in literary and artistic works often exaggerates and exaggerates some cases, which leads to a gap with the actual situation. Especially after 198 1 US Centers for Disease Control reported the first batch of AIDS cases, AIDS spread in the United States, which caused great pressure on American society and made many Americans consciously control their sexual behavior. An international student's point of view is that he has not been in the United States for a long time. Just say one thing he knows: American children have had heterosexual friends since they were 14 or 15 years old. You may think it's too early, they still have friends at the age of ten! Of course, it's really early, but it's not nonsense. One day, when we went to a restaurant for dinner, a lovely girl wore a beautiful hat. Her grandfather asked who gave her the hat and she said it was her boyfriend! We were all surprised because she was so young. Americans like hugs and kisses. 14, 15-year-old children with friends of the opposite sex usually just hug. When it comes to kissing, it is not too much to buy flowers for your girlfriend and a box of chocolates for your boyfriend on Valentine's Day. American children are very independent. Many of the chain stores where I work are high school students. They study and work at the same time, and pay their own college tuition. When I talked to them about when they started to have friends of the opposite sex? They are usually sixteen. I asked them: Do parents support it? They said: parents often create opportunities for them to have happy parties. For example, parents of children can invite their boyfriends and boyfriends to dinner and parties. Parents never object to children having boyfriends and boyfriends. If they are not satisfied, they can only give some friendly suggestions at most, because they regard their children as independent individuals and they respect their thoughts and behaviors very much! I think this is also a small epitome of American independence and freedom. When I was in high school, the school would specially organize students to hold an annual special party. His name is PROM, and his male classmates are in suits and ties, while his female classmates are sexy and charming. This is the best activity for high school students to find their male and female friends. Boys and girls are holding hands and singing happily like lovers in love! Happy smile! Jump happily! Sex education in America is also relatively early and open. When children just develop into adolescence, sex education in schools will keep up with them in time, so that they will no longer have curious and fantasy behaviors. In high school, parents also teach their children how to use contraceptives, so that their young love will not be a burden to them, but even if they accidentally give birth to children, the school still has a special nursery to take care of their children. I asked: Is there a nursery for students and children in the school? Answer: How can they go to school if there is no nursery to look after their children? Oh, my god Even if they have early sex, they usually have enough fun before marriage. Then find a partner who is harmonious in all aspects to form a family. After marriage, most of them stopped cheating. The virginity complex of American virgins is relatively weak, and they don't like to find someone who has no sexual experience as a wife or husband. I know an American who wants to find a China woman as his wife. I think he is very young. Then I introduced my virgin friend to him. Guess what he said: he wants to find a woman with children as his wife. Later, he really found such a woman in the Asian dating center, and that woman will soon come to the United States with her children. Some Americans don't even get married all their lives, some don't get married all their lives, but they have children, some get married, but they don't want children all their lives, and some don't want to have a home until they are 50 or 60 years old. Their ideas are really different! Everyone is an independent individual. Let's talk about American women. Their independent personality makes you stunned! Have dinner with your boyfriend in a restaurant. If your boyfriend doesn't treat you, it's always AA. They don't think of themselves as women and depend on men. Independence is one of the characteristics of American women. Having said so much about sex culture, think about it in our country.