The most stable relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is that the son gives the daughter-in-law a sense of security and the father-in-law gives the mother-in-law a sense of security!

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What is a sense of security?

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What is the sense of security?

A sense of security is a feeling as well as a psychology.

It is the feeling that one party's performance brings to the other party.

It is a reassuring, comfortable, reliable and trustworthy behavior.

Have a sense of security, among which, the most important thing is to need the love of people to give!

Obviously, in a family, a wife's sense of security, a large part, needs her husband to give!

Why?

Let's take a look first. What does a woman need to go through when she steps into her husband's house?

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Daughter-in-law's sense of security

Although there are many factors for the lack of girls' sense of security, they may all be in different growth stages.

However, one of the important stages is precisely the stage of becoming a new mother!

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At this time, the girl's role needs to be transformed into wife, daughter-in-law and mother, which not only needs a buffer period psychologically, but also is particularly fragile physically and needs the care of her family.

Plus the test of her career. The most fatal thing is that sometimes the test in the workplace is just a test, and it won't make her lose too much sense of value.

Fear is fear: a new mother who has no job for the time being!

While trying to do a number of roles arranged at home, you need to bear the sense of depression caused by your lack of value!

Therefore, women are the most sensitive at this stage, whether they are new mothers in the workplace or new mothers who have no career for the time being!

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If a woman is psychologically traumatized at this time, she will remember it for a lifetime!

This caused a lot of young daughter-in-law's dissatisfaction, felt particularly wronged, and especially wanted to be aggrieved:

Why don't you understand me and help me when I am in the most difficult time, but you need my filial piety when I am old?

If at this stage, there is her mother-in-law's understanding and support, and her husband's care and love, she will be particularly grateful, and even sublimated into lifelong gratitude!

But this also invisibly gave her mother-in-law and husband a good opportunity. Why do you say that?

You think, if her mother-in-law and her husband are concerned about one thing at this time, she will not only be grateful, but also feel guilty, and she can use this reason to speak in the future.

For example, when the child is older, the mother-in-law can enjoy life at any time because she has done everything.

Originally, I had no obligation to help my son and daughter-in-law with their children, but I helped them because I saw that their lives were difficult.

When the children are older, they decisively choose to evacuate, avoiding the contradiction of regeneration.

Persuading the daughter-in-law to take it orally and then leave is definitely the best choice. As for future filial piety, my daughter-in-law has nothing to say!

As far as my husband is concerned, I remember a story about his wife who gave her a lot of comfort in time when she was a new mother and took care of herself!

I also felt the pain when she gave birth to a child and expressed my gratitude to her wife.

There is a picture that often flashes in my wife's mind, which will keep her warm for a while every time!

That is: the moment she came out of the delivery room, her husband grabbed her hand and kept pulling her except holding the child with that hand!

At that time, she silently expressed her gratitude in her heart and felt that she had a lot of strength in an instant and didn't feel pain again. This is the sense of security to help!

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Mother-in-law's sense of security

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Let's talk about the mother-in-law's sense of security.

A mother-in-law with a sense of security will naturally have a high emotional intelligence, which is an understanding of the old saying.

As soon as her son gets married, she will naturally transfer her natural maternal love from her son to her daughter-in-law. A good relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will be very simple!

Such a mother-in-law is either happily married or can find a sense of security by herself.

For example, I have my own hobbies, cheerful personality, good people, many old friends and a career I have been doing. ...

On the contrary, marriage is unhappy and insecure. Such a mother-in-law will pin all her needs for love on her son!

This transfer of love also makes it difficult for the son to make a choice in many ways.

However, remember, this has nothing to do with the daughter-in-law, but many times, men will habitually place this stupid filial piety on their wives, which makes them very wronged.

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If at this time, the man is reasonable and knows where the focus is, the wife's grievances can slowly heat up in her husband's love.

If a man doesn't realize the importance of a small family, his wife's grievances will accumulate. It is conceivable that I don't know when the last straw will crush her until it breaks out!

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What do men do? What does the father-in-law do?

The most important basis for the stability of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law comes from the stable relationship between husband and wife.

However, it does not rule out that many mother-in-law moved their daughter-in-law and United with her daughter-in-law, so that her husband, who was originally grumpy, gradually became accommodating.

Some people say that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the stabilizer of marriage.

A good relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will definitely make the relationship between husband and wife better!

However, a bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can definitely affect the relationship between husband and wife!

The relationship between husband and wife mentioned here definitely includes the relationship between husband and wife of two families. To be more specific, it must be the husband-wife relationship of parents-in-law, the husband-wife relationship of sons and daughters-in-law!

If both small families are stable, then think about it. Is everyone stable?

Psychologist Wu Zhihong said: "If the relationship between husband and wife is the core of the family and has the first say, then the family will be as stable as a rock."

Therefore, men must not always follow their own feelings, let go of their own consciousness, and look at things from the perspective of their wives at the right time.

Let the small family be happy, two people hold a group to keep warm, let your own wife feel safe, let your love increase her sense of security, and your wife will certainly be more tolerant of your mother!

There is a saying that can always poke a woman's sore spot:

Not afraid of being wronged by in-laws. I am most afraid of seeing your wronged husband. Instead of comforting you, he will stand on the same side with his parents!

Men, instead of obsessing over the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is better to give their wives more love and increase their sense of security with their fathers!

In fact, all wives, no matter how old, have a little girl in their hearts who needs love!

A son loves his daughter-in-law, and his father-in-law loves his mother-in-law. Only in this way can the relationship be more stable and further!

We should always remember that everyone needs to find themselves, and only those who really find themselves can feel safe.

On the road of life, you should know how to let go and find your own fun.

Don't expect your son and daughter-in-law to accompany you from time to time, and don't always pin your filial piety on anyone. Only you can stay with yourself longer!

Old people have old people's lives, and children have children's lives. Help each other occasionally and don't disturb each other. It is best to keep a comfortable state for everyone!

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Even a wife should learn to cherish and give her freedom ... * * * encouragement!

Today's topic: What do you think of men who like to be shopkeepers?

Psychologist Wu Zhihong also said: "The contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in China is actually rooted in the absence of her husband."

If you are a mother-in-law, what do you think of your wife and son, who always like to be the shopkeeper of cutting?

Learn about Xiaoyu and look forward to sharing it with you. ...