A humorous classic sentence _ a humorous signature of a sentence

Do you know that humorous sentences can make people in a bad mood happy? Here are some humorous classic sentences I brought. Welcome to read!

Humorous and funny classic sentences

1 If you are well, it will be fine. According to this weather, you should be dead.

The teacher said that we are too young to fall in love, because we are both daughters-in-law who support others, and it is not worth it!

When I was 3 years old, I was always struggling. When I grew up, did I go to Tsinghua? Or go to "Peking University"? I didn't know I really thought too much until I grew up!

The furthest distance in the world is when we go out together. You buy an apple substitute and I buy an apple to take with me.

Nothing is more embarrassing than burping after coming out of the toilet.

Although I can't be a descendant of the rich, I must be an ancestor of the rich.

Think about it, I will be very happy if I change from a third-grade old woman to a first-grade primary school girl.

Not a brother, not a person, but a sister-in-law is so charming.

In the ninth grade, you were a * * *, always provoking our relationship with our parents.

What is the head teacher of 10? The head teacher is a person who destroys your friendship, your love and your affection.

1 1 My father expressed his opinion on my obesity: Han Hong didn't die, but he had Han Hong's disease.

12 learn ten things and I know nine things, which is equivalent to nothing.

13 I have decided to sell glutinous rice balls in the morning of the 15th day of the first month, roses at noon, movie tickets at night, condoms at night and birth control pills the next morning. I'm so excited to think about it. This is the rhythm I want to send!

14 I used to be a schoolmaster, until one day I wanted to see the world of dregs, and I couldn't find my way back.

Give me a girl and I can create a country. Give me a girl and I can create a country. Give me a girl and I can create a country.

Humorous signature of a sentence

1 I'm not in a good mood recently, and I plan to go to heaven tomorrow.

I fell when I was a child, and whether it hurt or not, I cried first …

Old sin makes new shame.

I left with my eyebrows drooping, just like making a face.

If marriage is a "grave", then the annual wedding anniversary celebration is a "grave-sweeping".

The best thing in the world is to eat and sleep.

I feel sorry for your uncle.

8 insomnia, because sleep is too heavy, I think I will die if I sleep less for one night.

Don't kill yourself when you open your mouth and wave your claws at me.

Life grinds us around, in order to let us roll further.

1 1 I remember someone said that they would make a sequel to flying swords of dragon gate, called flying swords of dragon gate, and I prayed to myself not to make the third episode.

12 What is romance? Is to send her a rose when you know that she doesn't like you. What is waste? Is to send her a rose and know that she likes you.

13 why did Guan Yu die before Zhang Fei? Answer: Beauty is unlucky. ...

14 I found that in study, like Big Wolf, we appeared in an extremely NB posture every semester, and left in an SB posture that everyone expected at the end of the semester. Finally, I want to shout: I will study hard …

15 The loneliness of one person is actually the fault of two people …

Humor, funny signs, beautiful words

1 Fortunately, pigs, unfortunately, people. I am a lucky unfortunate, at least I sleep like a pig.

In the past, when the alarm clock rang, I often had the problem of patting it before going back to sleep, but since I put three mousetraps next to the alarm clock, my problem has been eradicated.

I am the only bachelor in our village. Other men have been neutered when they get married and have children. Doctor, you have to ligate me, too. I'm afraid that if a woman is pregnant, I can't bear the responsibility.

Some men are as smart and changeable as the weather. Some women are as stupid as the weather forecast. She can't see the change of the weather.

Tourist: Master, is the straw house over there a toilet? Monk: Except that thatched cottage, all the places are toilets.

When I got up in the morning, I thought I had grown taller overnight, but I found myself covered with a quilt.

There are always a few grandfathers every month. His face changed from red to green, from green to yellow, to blue, to purple, to green, and finally he left me.

8 "Wei Zi, what do you have to suffer? Talk about it today. Who hit you? " "If you go back to the emperor, Mammy will hit you." "If you complain, tell me. What are you selling? "

Last night, a beautiful woman sent me a message saying that there was no one at home at night. Come to my house. So I knocked on the door all night, and sure enough, no one was there. I really wanted to kill her.

10 Every time I write my homework late, there are always two little people in my mind. One said forget it, stop writing, and the other said yes.

1 1 Boyfriends don't smoke, drink or fight.

12 roommates farted intermittently, and another buddy said helplessly, "Fart well and let you fall into pieces."

13 I heard that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. In retrospect, I actually streaked for too many years as a chef!

14 Several little boys scraped together a dozen dollars to buy toys, but they didn't know what to buy. One suggestion: go and buy sanitary napkins! People don't understand, why? The boy said, I don't know, but TV said that with it, you can climb mountains, water ski, play ball games, skate and be carefree and happy.

15 My friend has a white hair and won't let me pull it out, saying that pulling it out will change it. I asked why? She said her face turned white because the black hair around her saw her little friend being uprooted ... OK! You won!

16 "Honey, I did a very manly thing." "Did you pee standing up again?"

17 In fact, Big Wolf is the real local tyrant. Wolfsburg has been bombed so many times, and the next episode is still intact!

18 During the summer vacation, I was scolded four times a day at home: I don't get up in the morning, I surf the Internet when I get up, I shout no when I eat, and I don't sleep at night.

19 "Why is your history blank?" "Because I think it is wrong to tamper with history."

Don't be lazy with me, I'll be lazy with you.

2 1 Talking about money hurts feelings, and talking about feelings hurts money the most.

It doesn't matter if you don't like me now, I'll ask my son to pick up your daughter in the future!

I can cook all kinds of instant noodles. Do you want to consider marrying me?

An American forgot to bring toilet paper when he went to the toilet, so he had to ask for help through his mobile phone Facebook! After more than ten minutes, many good people sent toilet paper! A China man forgot to bring toilet paper when he went to the toilet, and asked for help through the WeChat circle of friends. After more than ten minutes, he was clicked a lot.

Be a koala in the next life, sleep for hours, eat for hours and stay in a daze for hours every day. This is the perfect life!

After the age of 30, men are busy pretending to be mature, while women are busy with act young.

Life is like an angry bird. There are always a few pigs laughing when they fail.

Life is like Yico Zeng. If you go astray from the beginning, you will never go back.

The heart is a house with two bedrooms, one is painful and the other is happy. People can't laugh too loudly, or they will wake up the pain next door.

Ten years in primary school and twelve years in middle school. I was named the most familiar face in the school. When the new teacher came, he asked me about the school.

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