A passage devoted to unhappiness.

1. My friend told me in tears that she often falls in love because she is too poor. I immediately despaired of this society: poor, why can he have a girlfriend?

2. As the saying goes, many skills can't overwhelm you. You have been wandering the rivers and lakes alone for decades with a stunt, only to find that the most useful skill is "opening up".

3. A woman has the pain of her father when she is young, her husband when she grows up, and her son when she is old. Men listen to their mothers when they are young, their wives when they grow up, and their daughters when they grow old.

4. Passing an Internet cafe, I saw such a couplet. Part I: Play more, play less and play more. Bottom line: Come in early, come in late, come in sooner or later. Horizontal batch: Internet cafe.

5. Have you considered the feelings of others every time you scold them? Anyway, I do. I try not to use dialect, for fear that the other party will not understand.

6. When I was a child, I was always disobedient, playful and disruptive. My father hit me, and I forgot how many slaps I slapped, but I never admitted my mistake. Later, my dad got tired of playing, so he patted the wall and let me hit it myself ... even if it didn't ring. ...

7. My boyfriend said to me affectionately, "Don't forget that you are not alone!" I said excitedly, "Really?" He said, "Yes, you are a pig."

8. The medical examiner in the hospital asked me: Have you ever done dangerous sports? I thought about it and answered: Yes, sometimes I talk back to my wife.

9. I called the mobile customer service today, and the customer service answered the phone and said, "Hello, it's my pleasure to serve you." I said, "You are happy too early." Then I hung up.

10. Pass the security check with a cup of milk tea. Security inspector: What's in your hand? Me: milk tea. Security inspector: Have a drink. Me: Go away! Buy it yourself if you want to drink it!

1 1. It used to be a couple, but now it's a mobile phone. A mobile phone in hand, forever, not in hand, no soul.

12. What is a famous brand? Adding a zero to the price of ordinary goods is called a famous brand. If you add two at the back, it's called luxury. Add as much as you want after the cost price. This is called cultural relics.

13. Be sure to take photos when you feel particularly charming, so that the photos will sober you up.

14. Please don't call me an otaku, please tell me to close the house; Please don't call me a house girl, please call me Madame Curie.

15. The husband scolded: Where are the vegetables you cooked? Waxy yellow. The wife immediately replied: you come home so late every day, of course, you don't know that they were young on my spatula.

16. Most foodies, the so-called "going out to play" will eventually evolve into "finding a place to eat and have a rest".

17. Don't blame "beauty is easy to get old. Husband is easy to run ",because" you spend too little money and give up your beauty ".

18. See the photos of my childhood and look at myself in the mirror. I can't help sighing that time is a knife to kill pigs. One knife goes down, all the pigs are dead, and those who survive are good-looking us.

19. After my wife disappeared, I immediately went to the police station to report the case. The policeman said to me, calm down first. If you keep smiling like that, we can't make a statement.

20. Waiting for the bus at the station, a student said to me with a donation box, "Sir, many people have donated money to poor college students." Deeply moved, I silently took the donation box and said, "Thank you!" " "

2 1. Mom: "This young man is beautiful, with a high salary and a good job. You don't agree. What are you looking for? " Daughter: "I want to find someone who speaks the same language." Mom: "He is not a foreigner. How can he not speak the same language? "

You are so beautiful, you should thank your parents first. If they didn't give you a pair of skillful hands, could you make yourself so beautiful!

23. If you don't give your health a penny, the hospital will help you pull it out.

24. Ancient robbery: I opened this road and planted this tree. If you want to pass by, keep the toll. After thousands of years of civilization baptism, in today's society, robbery is like this: 500 meters in front of the toll booth, please slow down.