Say a funny phrase.

1, if something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first, and don't blame the earth for not having gravity when you are constipated.

2. Love is a luxury. It's like a fox coat in a Paris window, so dazzling and charming, but the price tag on it will wake people up. Love is also a luxury, you can only look at it from a distance, don't fantasize, don't touch it, because it is indispensable to meet the right person at the right time and in the right place.

3, the head with the shell also combed a lightning strike.

4. I gradually discovered that talent is a demon! Some goblins eat people, but people eat everything. If you catch a leprechaun, maybe you can have a barbecue!

I don't want to eat porridge every day. I went to the vegetable market yesterday. I think I'll continue to eat porridge.

6. An iron pestle can be ground into a needle, and a wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. The material is wrong, and it's no use trying again.

7. Love is a road, and friends are trees. There is only one road in life, and there are many trees on one road. If you have money, you won't get lost; if you lack money, you will rely on trees; if you are happy, you won't forget your way; when you rest, you will water trees.

That fool stole the beggar's wallet and was seen by the blind. The dumb shouted, which startled the deaf. Camels come forward and lame people fly. The wanted man wants to take him to the public security bureau. Asako said, look at my face.

9. Do you want to get rich? Do you want to get lucky? Do you want to be an official? Do you want to become famous overnight? Do you want to be young forever?

10, the data shows that in 2008, men accounted for 52% of the total population and women accounted for 43%.

1 1, sorry! I'm already dead! But thank you for coming to see me! See you tonight 12!

12, although the famous flowers are taken, I will loosen the soil!

13, thank you, thank you uncle, thank you family, thank you ancestors for 18 generations.

14, saying that money is evil, it is all fishing; Say beauty is a disaster, everyone wants it; It is said that the height is too cold and everyone is climbing; Say that alcohol and tobacco hurt the body and don't quit; Say heaven is the best, don't go!

15, received SMS. There is a monkey in the zoo, so ugly that everyone vomits. One day I went there and I threw up. One day you went there and the monkey threw up.

16. Advertisement on the subway: Is it crowded? Buy a car! Advertisements in taxis: Are they blocked? Take the subway!

17. I like the first half of your mother's short story. That's all for today. Please continue to enjoy it at the same time tomorrow. I like the second half of your mother. ...

18, are you a dung ball that was rolled by martial arts expert Huashan with pear blossoms, or a cockroach Xiao Qiang that was trampled to death by Wang Cai, an imbecile dog adopted by Xiaomi Sha?

19, the crowd looked for her for thousands of Baidu, and suddenly looking back, that person still shrugged off me.

20. Who took my hand and gathered my half-life madness? Who, kiss my eyes, cover my half-life displacement.

2 1, God didn't give me much responsibility, but it still hurts my heart and bones.

Although I can't be a descendant of the rich, I must be an ancestor of the rich.

23. Happiness is scratching when it itches. Unfortunately, it itches but I can't catch it. More unfortunately, for a long time, neither the soul nor the body felt itchy.

24, pure, fictional, chaotic and beautiful.

25, Yuanyang playing in the water, all fucking drowned; Fly with me, you fucking fell dead.

Every time I miss a girl, I put a brick on the ground, so there is the Great Wall.

27. I skipped classes too much. I wanted to go to class yesterday. Seeing the professor, the professor was surprised and said, I haven't seen you for so long, and I have grown so big.

28. The kid next door finally vowed to lose weight-at the graduation job fair, someone said to him, "Sorry, buddy, you blocked my cell phone signal."

29. Don't talk to me in vernacular. I don't know Mandarin.

If the teacher hadn't said you couldn't litter, I would have thrown you out.

3 1, don't say that people are mentally ill. If they have brain diseases, they must first have a brain.

32. Stop fooling around, or you will be confused by the days.

Don't think you are an angel with bird hair.

34. My love for you was killed by the door in your heart.

35. How can you get married without experiencing scum? No one can be a mother casually!

36. You fight for money, but you can't fight for money.

37. If people don't attack me, I won't attack. If someone attacks me, I will kill myself.

38. Now people follow the trend and use Zhenshiming eye drops to treat pinkeye.

39. In today's society, it is very difficult for the rich to have no money.

40, go to the toilet, use other people's paper, let others find paper!

4 1, life is hard, don't make friends with dogs.

42. I am unknown in the world, and you turn all beings upside down in the vegetable market.

43. It snowed twice this week, once for three days and once for four days.

44. Love is art, marriage is technology and divorce is arithmetic.

46. God didn't take special care of me, nor abandoned me, just playing with me.

47. There are many heartless people in the world, just like a cat wants to eat a mouse when it is hungry.

48. If there is no medical insurance and life insurance, don't try to be brave after dark.

49. In this world, killing a Q pet is more difficult than killing a person.

50. Life is nothing more than smiling at others and then making them smile!

5 1, I enjoy a moment of blank in my brain every day, and my thoughts are simpler.

52. Buy yourself a big bottle of Sprite and get yourself drunk.

53. Men use Dabao and women use Hushubao.

54. Actually, I am really a devoted person, but people always say that I am a playboy.

55. We two idiots can piece together a genius.

56. I suggest that Japanese women be arrested and put in our male prison.

57. The deaf heard the dumb say that the blind saw a ghost.

58. Chopin, who is no better than B, can't play the sadness of labor and capital.

59. I get dizzy when I take a boat. How can I have two feet on both sides?

60. Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

6 1, what are the bad guys, men who take off their pants during the day and women who don't take off their makeup at night?

62. The early bird has breakfast, and the late bird has dinner.

63. Don't give up, never leave this life; If you don't like it, die.

64. It's strange for me to wear a dress today.

65. Even if you don't miss anyone, it is a lonely comfort to kneel down and hug yourself.

Humor, funny mood, talking about phrases

At noon on weeding day 65438 +0, mines were buried. Li Bai came to dance and was blown to 250.

No.2 contraceptive effect: if you don't succeed, you will become an adult.

NO.3 time is not for getting up, but for how long you can sleep.

NO.4 love is art, marriage is technology, and divorce is arithmetic.

NO.5 don't look for me if you have nothing to do, and don't look for me if you have anything to do.

NO.6 pretending to be forced is only an instant, and shameless is eternal.

NO.7 there are always 30 days in a month when I don't want to study, and this feeling is strongest in February.

On the 8th, others were holding hands, and I took my dog for a walk and swimming to see who was unhappy with biting.

NO.9 bully me again, and I curse you for buying noodles all your life without a fork.

In the 10 issue, reality tells lies with real names, and the network tells the truth with pseudonyms.

No. 1 1 When I was pursuing Happyness, I was afraid that I would not be at home, so I stayed at home all the time.

NO. 12 lost and found is always second-hand.

13 When I was proud, my friend met you. When you are in trouble, you make friends.

NO. 14 you two, or two, two are right there, no three no four.

NO. 15 Look at a temple from a distance, and look at our alma mater, with more than 300 nuns and more than 10,000 old roads.

NO. 16 Man is a noun expressing meaning, and mean is a verb expressing people.

Interesting humor, talking about mood phrases

1, so my youth was dedicated to the lovely computer.

2. Once upon a time, there was a piece of ice that melted while walking.

3. Picking up girls is like hanging QQ. Pick her up for two hours every day, and it will soon be sunny.

4, everyone looked for him for thousands of Baidu, and suddenly looked back and turned to ashes.

5. I want to find a handsome guy quickly! Otherwise, the good cabbage will be arched by pigs!

My future son, tell me where to find your father.

7. When you are happy, I will stare at you and stare at me to be happy.

8. How many people now use their mobile phones as mirrors when they lock the screen?

When my mother turned into a swan, you were still an egg. ...

10, the territory of Russia is dominated by Russia, which shows the degree of "madness" in Russia.

1 1. Brother Xiao Xin, is my cherry your home?

12, don't drag in front of me like 2.58 million, just pose and force!

13, the tiger is not arrogant, you think I am Hello Kitty!

14 and 1G are full of 2G troubles.

15, one day, my mother will appear in your household registration book, so I can't be your wife, but my stepmother.

16, take a shower, blow bubbles, and sleep with a pillow.

17, God gave you a pair of deceptive eyes, but you used them to roll your eyes and waste resources.

18, no matter where we are, we can play our cheeky spirit.

19, holding hands last summer and waving this summer.

My fault is your fault, and your fault is still your fault.

2 1. I was afraid of heights when I was a child, so I am not tall now.

22. What a lovely creature it would be if mosquitoes switched from sucking blood to sucking fat.

23. Fat man's motto is: Where you fall, you will break a hole.

24, a black charcoal said: I am very white and was dragged to a mental hospital.

25. When I am in a bad mood, I will beat you up for free.

In fact, lovelorn people are the most glorious!

27. Rich people hold a money field, and those who have no money go home and get some money to hold a money field.

28, work every year, worry every year, work overtime every day like a monkey, work overtime without pay, and get scolded for no reason every day.

29, the virus fell in love with my computer, I can only help them.

30. You are stupid, and I am more stupid. Let's be stupid together!

3 1, hey. Flat-chested girl, I imitate my dad ~ you tumor man.

32. Some people can still smell the dregs even if they wear perfume.

33. If you love, there must be adultery, and love is purely nerve.

34. Don't cry at my grave, it stains my path of reincarnation.

35. If I don't go to hell, whoever loves me will go to hell.

36. When I grow up, I want to build a school for lovers. Couples enter school, homework is halved, and exams are free.

I wonder how many girls are losing weight this summer vacation.

38. I actually want to say: popcorn! You think I want a hug.

39. I called my date and she answered.

Genius and madness are only one step away. If I were that step, there would be no genius.

4 1, the homework in those years, one person is wrong, the whole class is wrong.

42. Barbers will never understand the concept of cutting it short.

43, school uniforms, throw away; Textbooks, throw away; Throw away your schoolbag! Throw them all away!

44. To avoid excessive drinking, please stay awake when you are drunk.

Looking up at the sky at 45 and 45, I saw a gray machine.