Classic sentences expressing humor and wit

Classic sentences expressing humor and wit

In many aspects of our daily life, we can often see classic sentences expressing humor and wit. Some classic sentences also enable many of us to understand the relevant meanings. The following classic sentences express humor and wit.

Classic sentences expressing humor 1 1. Marriage is to put a cotton-padded coat on freedom. It's inconvenient to move, but it will be warm.

2, force me again, and then force me to play dead for you!

3. The beauty of a woman lies in being stupid without regrets; The beauty of a man lies in lying.

He is just a pot of water, which is poured into your rice pile. A few years later, clear water turns into alcohol, and you become a pile of abandoned rotten rice, which can be used to feed pigs.

You can't treat me as a holiday just because we have a holiday.

6. Sighing is the most time-wasting thing, and crying is the most energy-wasting behavior.

7. You are calm because you are not afraid of death. I am calmer than you, because I am not afraid of your death.

8. Rich people are grandfathers! But there are even more people who owe money and don't pay it back!

9. Only by working hard can you get ahead.

10, when I was alive, I was laughed at by others first, then smiled at others, and then died with a smile.

1 1, sometimes I am as optimistic as a fart, always thinking that I can shake the earth.

12, life is when you start to understand a lot of life truths, your life is running out.

13, you don't know what dependence is until you lose your belt.

14, many people say that marriage is the grave of love, but it is better to be buried underground than to die in the street.

15, women must be better to themselves. Once you are exhausted, other women will spend your money, live in your room, sleep with your husband and beat your baby!

16, the so-called growth means that when you hear the word "choppy", you will never think of the sea again.

17, you lose 60 seconds of happiness if you are angry for one minute.

18, she asked me to turn dung into gold, and I asked her to treat gold as dung.

19, don't play hard now, I'll play with you later!

20. I don't need everyone to nod. I live to make those who don't like me more unhappy.

2 1, a small pot is easy to heat, and a small amount is impatient. The bigger the space in your heart, the more lush the flowers will bloom.

22. If you work, the machine can do it. Then one day, you will become a machine.

23. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes it.

24. If one day I fall down. Remember, I'll come up for you.

25. You can love three or five scum, but you can't love a scum three or five times. It may be bad luck to go wrong, but jumping into the pit all the time is retarded.

26. Others look good when they smile, but you are different. You look funny.

27. You are beyond my imagination, and I am beyond your imagination.

28. When God closes a door for you, he always leaves many unlocked phone numbers on the wall for you.

29. Those who can't get through are all because of short legs!

30. You don't believe I slapped you on the wall and couldn't get it off!

I think the brightest smile in my life is probably dedicated to my mobile phone and computer screen.

Whether you are doing well or not is unknown to others, but everyone knows when you are fat.

I don't mind you lying to me. What I care about is that your lies can't fool me.

What do you mean, don't die? Is to be angry 10 thousand times a day, but still don't give up.

After being with you for so long, I finally found that you look like a person.

6. I am not a prince. Why do girls always think they should be princesses when they see me?

7. Some people are well-informed on the surface, but they have never even seen Peggy the pig behind them.

8. Those who look good and like to eat are called foodies, and those who look bad and like to eat are called gits!

9. I found a problem. I like to chat with good-looking people. No wonder I always talk to myself.

10, am I your favorite person? Why don't you talk?

1 1. Life is like breathing. Breathing is for breathing, and sucking is for breathing.

12, after the English listening test, I realized a truth: some words are only for people who understand.

13, if I hadn't hit you, I would have turned against you.

14. Life is sometimes like a computer. If it collapses, it collapses. It's not negotiable.

15, I really envy those who have stories. Unlike me, a word "handsome" can run through my life.

16, don't expect to lose weight, Bajie hasn't lost weight after walking hundreds of miles. Besides, he is a vegetarian.

17, thank you for your patronage every time you buy a drink. One day, I suddenly couldn't write Huizi in the exam, so I opened the drink next to me. At that time, I was crazy. Another bottle!

18, I envy those who can be with the people I like. Unlike me, I have long been surrounded by people who like me.

19, one day you will meet a good girl who doesn't want your house, your car, your diamonds, your money, and of course she doesn't want you!

20. Every girl has a dress in her closet called: I used to be poor and now I feel ugly.

2 1. There is no money in my wallet. What happened? There is no fish in the fish-flavored shredded pork!

22, the days have been tight, and today there is finally a luxury, spending 30% on video game selfies.

23. If you realize that you are not so important to others, you will be much happier.

24. As an optimistic person in others' eyes, you are probably hanging to death, and everyone thinks you are swinging.

25, wardrobe clothes tens of millions, only new is the best!

26. Life is not only the present, but also the invitation of the predecessor.

27. Other people's faces are destined to be seven points, three points by dressing up, one point by your face, and nine points by the filter.

28. Since I saw your household registration photo, I realized that it was so simple to give up someone I like.

29. When God closes a door for you, he always leaves many locks on the wall. Phone number.

30. The head on the left is flour, and the head on the right is water. When you think about a problem, your head burns.

3 1. If you are willing to tear off my heart layer by layer, you will go to jail, I will tell you.

Everything will be over, but if you invite me, I can eat more with you.

33, the face is a thing outside the body, you can take it or not, money is a must, you have to.

You see, the rainbow on the other side despised me that day because I was brighter than it.

I really don't want to despise you with my toes. You made me do it.

36. People who travel all over the brothel are not old. Please use Huiren Shenbao.

37. The earth is moving, and a person will not be in an unlucky position forever.

You can't tolerate me, not because your mind is too narrow, but because my personality is too great.

It's not your fault that you are ugly, it's just that God took a nap. You should have the courage to face everything.

40. I am really heartless and simple, thinking about how to harm people all day.

4 1, once the seas dried up and the rocks crumbled, but it was difficult to get together and break up.

42. I would rather hit the wall than face the wall at home.

43. There are no constant promises, only endless lies.

Don't go so far, who can guarantee that you will live to that day.

45. Are you tired? Just tired. Comfort is for the dead.

46. The ancient world was dominated by one sword, but now it is a dissolute world.

47. Who can have such strong feelings for me as RMB?

48. Since I bought insurance, I don't have to look at the traffic lights when crossing the road!

49. When I woke up, I thought I was taller, but the quilt cover was horizontal.

50. We have been practicing smiling, and finally we become people who dare not cry.

Classic sentences expressing humor 3 humorous sentences

1, sorry, I wore a mask and hat to buy snacks, but I was recognized: What do beautiful women eat?

2. Don't ask me anything, and don't ask me anything!

I really want to make money into my hobby.

Your shortness is lifelong, and my fatness is temporary.

Every winter, the places outside the bed are far away, and the places beyond the reach of hands are all foreign countries. The last toilet is for business, and the last shift is to go abroad.

6. Getting up early can really do a lot of things, for example, sleeping again.

7. No matter how bad my grades are, they are all my own. I don't dislike them!

8. When you eat well, you forget everything when you eat.

9. Lower your social status, make yourself live a little easier and spend every day happily.

10. If I ride a horse, you can call me a groom. If I drive, you can call me a coachman. What should you call me if I am in charge of accounts?

1 1. My parents said never to fall in love at school, as if someone would value me.

12, don't say that others are mentally ill. The premise of encephalopathy is that you must have a brain.

13, long time no see, I don't know how ugly you are.

14. Although I have no books, notes, classes or review, I have a heart that I don't want to fail.

15, I found that whenever I take an exam, I have a super power called successfully avoiding all the correct answers.

16, dear, I just want to say to you: I love you, and the happiest thing in this life is the time with you.

17, if you are willing to tear off my heart layer by layer, you will go to jail, I will tell you.

18, I hate that kind of nonsense that tells me "why did you give up treatment", which makes me seem to be saved.

19, I won't say if I kill you. You haven't done a honey trap yet!

20. I seem to be allergic to paper, and I feel uncomfortable every time I do my homework.

2 1, two couples are chatting. The woman asked, honey, people say that women in love will become stupid. You think I'm stupid? Male affectionate style: fool, you are so stupid, how can I think you are stupid?

22. Can you support your face if you can't close your eyes in class?

23. Don't drink water if you lose money, or you will get dirty.

24. I made a mistake at school. The teacher called my parents. Can I say that my parents are not here? The teacher said yes. The next day, I carried my three-year-old brother on my back and embarked on the road of no return.

25. I know you don't treat me like a number. In fact, I have never paid attention to you.

26. If there is an afterlife, I hope I will be less handsome and more ordinary.

There are many ways to destroy friendship, and the most thorough way is to borrow money.

28, you have your face value, I have my shorts, not very short, but cool.

29. Lovers will eventually buckle meat, and pig pockets will appear in lovers' eyes. If the relationship is long-term, it is not pork and pork. We want to fly in heaven, two birds become one, and I want to be a pig.

30. In winter, I don't want to ask my roommate for help in class. The news of my heatstroke spread all over the campus the next day.

3 1, if you shed tears, I would like to be the toilet paper in your hand; If you wake up, I will be the shit in your eyes; If you are hot to death, I am willing to be the only piece of cloth left on you.

Don't put your youth on tomorrow. If you lose, there will be no tomorrow.

33. We can't extend the length of life, but we can broaden the width of life. It means: we can't grow taller, but we can gain weight indefinitely.

You only look thin when I am fat, lest I look ugly when I am thin.

35. If fat could be sold, it is estimated that I would have been on the Forbes rich list.

36. I hope the sensible idolize won't burn her body for me.

37. A typhoon is coming. Please close the doors and windows. If I get blown to your house, I won't leave.

One day you will meet a good girl. She doesn't want your house, your car, your diamonds and your money. Of course she doesn't want you!

39. Don't take too many selfies in your circle of friends. We have all met before.

40.do you smell my malice? Give you a sock to feel it.

4 1, the salary is like a period, once a month, and it will be gone in a week or so.

Before I met you, I really didn't realize that I had a problem with judging people by their appearances.

43. There are two things in the world that can lie on the glass. One is a gecko, and the other is a class teacher.

44. The most wonderful thing in this world is eating meat. Never betray, never cheat, eat a catty, grow a catty, and always treat each other sincerely.

45. The math teacher led us to swim in the ocean of learning. He went ashore and we drowned.

46. Your mother made you so beautiful, not to be spoiled by others, but to be spoiled by others.

47. You called me short. You are a joke, but you will never hold your head up in front of me.

48. There are always a few grandfathers every month. His face changed from red to green, from green to yellow, to blue, to purple, to green, and finally he left me.

49. Because I broke up with the quilt this morning, the quilt is very cold to me now.

50. The biggest pain in life is that I didn't see the rainbow after the storm and caught a cold.

5 1, you really don't look down on fat people, you are obsessed with losing weight.

Please don't call me an otaku in the future, please tell me to close the house. Please don't call me a house girl, please call me Madame Curie.

Give me a chance to be a fucking dog, and I will jump on you without hesitation.

54. Love you until the seas run dry and the rocks crumble! Your face looks forward to it day and night! I just want to be with you all my life! Never regret it! Read the first word of each sentence together!

I never talk about people, but I always talk about myths.

Don't send me any holiday wishes during the Chinese New Year. Red envelopes can make me feel your sincerity.

57. Violence can't solve problems, but it can ease anger.

58. You don't like me. This is a disease. If it can be cured, it must be cured.

59. People with few eyebrows can't be friends, so taking a photo won't make them white, because once they are white, their eyebrows will disappear.

60. I was also an infatuated seed, but I was killed by lightning.

6 1. In a daze, doing well is called profound. If you can't do it well, you are likely to fall asleep.

62. There are many things that you couldn't figure out at that time. Don't worry. Think about it later, and I won't remember.