Secret Corner-"Unfortunate people spend their whole lives healing their childhood"

After watching "Hidden Corner" last week, I have deep sympathy for the role of Zhu Chaoyang, who is almost the object of my definition as a person with unhappy childhood.

1 crisis of confidence

When Yan Liang and Pupu went to his house for the first time and wanted to stay, he had to leave halfway. Out of distrust, he deliberately made a small mark on the cupboard to test whether his two friends were trustworthy. When I saw this place at that time, I felt a sense of resistance to this behavior. My idea is that a child of twelve or thirteen is so meticulous. On the other hand, at his age, he is really stupid and doesn't know anything. He is definitely a big boy who can help count money after being sold by others.

Although it is said that people should not be stupid and learn to be smart, I actually don't support people's behavior and thoughts of being careful about their faces and having distrust of people from an early age. After all, childhood is the shortest and happiest time in a person's life. From the age of 18, the people and things you meet will make you look bad, let alone have enough trust in others. In the world of adults, trust has already spread its wings and flown away, and it is the kind that will never return. Therefore, I hope that everyone will be a naughty child when they are young, and don't have to be a sensible adult.

Parents give deformed love.

At the beginning of the play, the situation in Zhu Chaoyang is briefly introduced. His parents divorced and he lives with his mother. Although he is not the kind of person whose father doesn't hurt and whose mother doesn't love him, he is not much different.

Although he and his father often meet, compared with the feelings of his sister Zhu Jingjing and his father, their relationship between father and son is far from deep. Although his mother loves him very much, I want to put a quotation mark on this "love", because in my opinion, his mother has turned this love into a "love" that I give you and you must fully accept, and demands that no one or anything is more important than my "love".

High IQ scores rank first in the grade every year, but they are not pleasing. He is an isolated object in the class, and his classmates call him a "prude". In addition, one of his most important characteristics is that he is very sensible. He knows how to control his actions and thoughts. In front of his father, he can't win his father's love like his sister Zhu Jingjing, nor dare he be a bad boy in front of his mother. His understanding is to restrain himself from not satisfying his parents' understanding.

However, parents are not as easily satisfied as children. In front of them, if the child takes a step back, it will not broaden his horizons, but the beginning of falling into the trap. Parents' love is selfless, and this selfless premise is that children deserve their love. For some parents, naughty children with poor grades are not worthy of their love. From these phenomena, we can see that Zhu Chaoyang should not be a lively child, although in fact he is not lively.

Why not? In fact, it is understandable to think about it. My parents are divorced, and my mother still bears a grudge against my father. She will put all her love and all her hate on the child Zhu Chaoyang. Her love may be too twisted and become a little abnormal, which makes Zhu Chaoyang breathless. I remember a scene in the play where Zhu Chaoyang didn't want to drink her hot milk because she had a little conflict with her mother. As a result, she insisted on forcing him to drink with the attitude that I am good to you and no one in the world is better than me. You see, isn't this deformed love and living environment the chief culprit of his character defect? So, in my opinion, there are many reasons why children grow up like this.

3 "Unfortunate people spend their whole lives healing their childhood"

Adler, a famous Austrian psychiatrist, once said, "Happy people use their childhood to cure their whole lives, while unfortunate people use their whole lives to cure their childhood."

For example, not in TV series, there is a girl about my age among the people I know, and her parents are deeply poisoned by the idea of son preference. As a result, she was much less loved than her brother since she was a child, and it was also because her family was poor at that time. When I graduated from the third grade, although my grades were not ideal, I was more than enough to go to high school. As a result, her parents are unwilling to send her to school in order to save money for her brother's future marriage.

Later, the school teacher heard that she was going to do ideological work for her parents, so she won the opportunity to go to high school. Later, she was admitted to the university. After the family conditions improved, her parents sent her to college, and everything seemed to be moving towards normal.

However, from my chat with her, I can feel the misfortune she suffered in her childhood. Some people, once they get to know her better, can see her past sufferings through her appearance. Most of those unfortunate children will have * * * type personality-please type personality. Because the deeper the misfortune, the more people who grow up in misfortune will lower their posture to meet the expectations of others.

Just as you cater to your parents when you are young, your boss when you work, and your lover when you get married, you will be deeply influenced by this flattering personality in your life. In the later growth experience, with the increase of experience, the influence may gradually decrease, but it takes a process. Many times, people with this personality will blame themselves for all their faults when they encounter unsatisfactory things, which leads to their own depressed life, so this is also one of the people who are prone to depression.

Like Zhu Chaoyang, his childhood was a shadow to him. We all like to speculate that Zhu Chaoyang will be the next Zhang Dongsheng when he grows up. However, this seemingly speculation is actually reasonable.

A person whose childhood is full of misfortune and lives in the shadow, according to this law, naturally can't see the light when he grows up. He should slowly spend the rest of his life looking for some hope of life, and then gradually get rid of the shadow of childhood. Of course, not everyone who is unhappy in childhood can be cured when he grows up. After all, this kind of thing has a probability.

But even so, I still hope that those weeds that have been waiting in the sewer for a long time can grow in sunny places as far as possible, and maybe they will meet the sun to save you.