Create a good family atmosphere for children's mental health

During my primary school teaching, I was deeply impressed by a child.

He is small, usually does not like to talk, has no good friends in the class, and his grades are always at the bottom.

Every time he asked his mother to come to school to exchange information about his children, she always criticized him and scolded him for failing to live up to expectations. He bowed his head and listened silently.

After several home visits, I deeply understand the child's family situation, and found that the child does not want to study, but in such a family atmosphere, his mind has to bear too many other things, and he really can't attend to learning, and his grades naturally fail.

It turns out that the children's parents often quarrel, which makes the whole family jump. Sometimes, because you are in a bad mood, you take it out on your children, scold them for no reason, or even hit them.

The poor child, on the one hand, is afraid of the breakdown of his parents' relationship, on the other hand, he has to bear a lot of negative emotions, and his heart has been in fear and tension.

This chaotic, turbulent and tense family atmosphere makes it difficult to cultivate a happy, cheerful and excellent child.

02

In the process of raising children, parents often worry about the problems shown in their children, such as poor grades, unclear consciousness, timid personality, introversion, selfishness and so on.

Many times, children's questions can be answered in the family atmosphere.

Family atmosphere is the relationship between family members in a family and the interpersonal communication situation and atmosphere it creates, including parents' cultural literacy, behavior habits, attitude towards life, ideological realm, personality temperament and so on.

There is a saying in Xunzi's "Encouraging Learning": "In the bitter fleabane bitter fleabane, you must be straight; White sand is in nirvana and black with it. "

It means that grass grows in hemp fields and can stand upright without support. White sand is mixed in black soil, as black as black soil. It emphasizes the important influence of environment on plant growth, and so does human growth.

For children, family is the primary environmental factor for their growth, so family atmosphere plays a vital role in their growth, which largely determines their psychological quality and personality development.

Generally speaking, parents should create a relaxed, democratic, warm, loving and enterprising family atmosphere for their children.

A relaxed and democratic family atmosphere will make children relax physically and mentally, devote themselves wholeheartedly to learning and cognitive activities, establish correct learning motivation, and know more about self-management and self-control.

A warm and loving family atmosphere will make children feel surrounded by love, full of security, cheerful personality, self-confidence and rich emotions. He will know how to care and love others, and his ability to resist setbacks will be stronger.

A positive and enterprising family atmosphere will also subtly infect children and internalize them into their character. He will work harder and be optimistic, form a correct concept, and continue to grow and progress.

03

Anxious parents, instead of always worrying about their children's problems and obsessed with creating good educational conditions for their children, should first create a good family atmosphere and lay the most solid foundation for their children's growth.

The following four common family atmospheres are harmful to children's growth and parents need to avoid them.

(1) A stressful family atmosphere

There is a strict picky parent, and some perfectionists have high expectations and strict requirements for their children.

They don't like to see their children make a little mistake, otherwise they will feel that the situation is very serious and blame their children.

When children are not as good as they think in learning and other aspects, they will show great anger or disappointment, and then more strictly urge children to make continuous efforts and progress.

Children who grow up in this family atmosphere are always in a state of tension and depression. They are burdened with heavy pressure early, have no chance to breathe, and often want to escape.

If a string is always in a tight state, it will break easily after a long time.

If the child is in a state of tension for a long time, it will easily lead to various physical and psychological problems.

It is understandable that parents want their children to become adults, but they are too strict with their children and overreact to mistakes. On the contrary, it will make children afraid of making mistakes, afraid of failure, and have poor anti-frustration ability, which limits the height of their growth.

A good family atmosphere should be relaxed, inclusive and relaxed. This kind of tolerance is not indulgence, but a space for children to try and make mistakes, so that children can try, explore and gain experience.

Parents and children can communicate and interact equally as friends, but they should judge and criticize more, listen to and understand their children more, so that children don't have to hide their worries and secrets carefully, and parents and children know and trust each other.

(2) autocratic family atmosphere

Some parents have a deviation in the concept of education, not realizing that children and themselves are two independent and equal individuals, and often regard children as their own accessories and arrange and dispose of them at will.

For example, regardless of the child's feelings, arbitrarily beat and deny the child; Do not pay attention to children's ideas, only arrange and decide everything for children according to their own ideas and experiences.

The growth and development of a child is doomed to be independent in life and personality, so that he can become a person with ideas, opinions and a sense of responsibility.

In an authoritarian family atmosphere, children will be bound, lack the ability of independent thinking and decision-making, get used to obeying arrangements, rely on others, and be timid.

Parents' lack of equality and respect for their children will easily lead to the estrangement between parents and children, and then lead to children's rebellion and resistance.

Parents should create a democratic family atmosphere, treat their children with an equal attitude, pay attention to their feelings and emotions, discuss things well, and give gentle and firm positive guidance instead of beating, cursing and accusing them at will.

It is also important to respect children's ideas, allow and encourage children to make their own choices and decisions, and don't impose their own ideas on children.

In this family atmosphere, children will be more independent, independent, self-managed and responsible.

(3) The family atmosphere in which parents quarrel constantly.

After having children, some parents often ignore the importance of the relationship between husband and wife, often focus on the children, forget to maintain their feelings with their partners, and even always quarrel with the other half because of the children's problems.

Parents always quarrel and have a tense relationship, which is undoubtedly a horror film in the eyes of young children.

Living in such a family, children are prone to lack of security, sensitivity and inferiority, which often accompanies him all his life and affects his interpersonal communication and intimate relationship.

Every child wants his parents to love each other and love themselves unconditionally.

In a loving and warm family, family members understand and respect each other, care about each other, and will not lose their temper and attack each other at will. Only by making children feel safe and comfortable can they be themselves, develop their growth potential and be optimistic and cheerful.

Otherwise, children are always in distrust, anxiety and fear, and their hearts are uneasy. How should they study hard and grow up healthily?

Therefore, parents should first manage family relations, the most important of which is the relationship between husband and wife. They should discuss things well, have something to say, know how to reflect on themselves, care about each other, and don't quarrel easily in front of their children.

Parents love each other and live in harmony, which is the best gift for their children.

(4) Negative and relaxed family atmosphere

There is also a family full of negative energy.

Parents like to complain, complain and cry about poverty, but they can't take action to improve the status quo; When encountering problems, they will only blame each other instead of trying to solve them together; Lazy behavior, I don't know how to keep learning and constantly improve myself.

Living in this negative family atmosphere for a long time, children will also be greatly affected, feel great psychological pressure, see no hope, and have a low sense of happiness.

As educator makarenko said:

"How you dress, how you talk to others, how you talk about others, how you show happiness and unhappiness, how you treat friends and enemies, how you laugh, how you read newspapers-all these are of great significance to children."

Parents' words and deeds will also be subtly imitated by children, and children will become complaining, unwilling to learn and unwilling to make progress. Negative way of thinking, lack of self-confidence, frustrated in the face of difficulties and challenges, afraid to challenge.

No matter what the situation is, parents should convey a positive energy to their children and create an optimistic and positive family atmosphere.

Don't compare with others, and live your life seriously; Don't complain when you encounter problems, accept them bravely and solve them with practical actions; Keep learning, acquire knowledge, and constantly improve their quality in all aspects; Always have hope for life and remain optimistic. ...

Living in such a family, children will be more excellent and happy, and always maintain a positive attitude towards life.