A particularly funny joke.

Very funny joke (selected 42 sentences) 1. Do you know who is the best diving partner in China? Mother-in-law always falls into the water at the same time. 2. One day, my father said to me a little shyly. Son, you are not young. I want to talk to you about sex education. ? I immediately became serious: well, dad, if you don't understand anything, just ask! ? I heard that ugly people should read more books. No wonder my mother said that I was not cut out for reading when I was young. What's wrong with being ugly? I can't see it myself. It's you who's disgusting. As a mature adult, I don't eat anything in anger, only when I am full. 6. I bought a new mobile phone and unlocked the screen with facial recognition. Sometimes the failure of unlocking tells me that the face matching is unsuccessful, and I can accept it. Sometimes it is too much to say that no face is detected! 7. When I was a child, I saw my parents quarreling and often tangled. Should I get married when I grow up? It was not until I reached that age that I realized: I really think too much! 8. Every time someone asks for directions, I point blindly, because I don't know the way at all, and to teach the world a lesson: don't trust good-looking people casually. 9. The most manly thing I ever did was to steal 100 yuan from my wife's wallet, buy a pack of soft Chinese, and kneel in front of her to smoke. 10. Don't worry about the girl with fat hands, the gold ring given by her boyfriend will be bigger in the future! 1 1. I have been determined to be a wise man since I was a child, but I have only succeeded in half, and I am still in the second half. 12. It is said that opportunities are for people who are always ready, which makes me wear a suit and tie even when I sleep. 13. When you grow up, you master a special skill and don't learn other skills. You can sleep without sleeping pills during the day and get excited without stimulants at night. 14. My husband and I have a very good relationship. Every night when we sleep, he will use his arm as a pillow and hug me tightly to sleep. Later, he got scapulohumeral periarthritis and I got cervical spondylosis. 15. Give the dog a steak and the dog runs out to dig a hole. I thought it was trying to hide the steak, but it dug up a bag of black pepper sauce! 16. I'm used to beauty cameras, and once I accidentally turned on the camera that came with my mobile phone, which scared me to throw it out. 17. Well done is self-confidence. Shameless, if done well, it is called excellent psychological quality. 18. I hope you met a good man, not a garbage, not a garbage pretending to be a good man. 19. Please, there is no shortage of talents in this world, only infertility. 20. The man has no money and the woman wants a divorce; Men want a divorce when they have money! Anyway, it's better not to get married than divorce! 2 1. Do you know how disgusting you are? When your mother first felt your presence, she vomited for months. 22. A girl asked me to borrow money for plastic surgery before, and the whole operation was quite successful. I can't recognize who borrowed money from me anymore. 23. The ancient robbery: I opened this mountain and planted this tree. Stay and buy money if you want to pass by. After hundreds of years of civilization baptism, in today's society, robbery is like this: 500 meters in front of the toll booth, please slow down. I don't want to be single anymore. I want someone to grab my food when I eat, my computer during the day, my quilt at night and my razor in the morning. 25. The first part: I don't make a sound when reading in the wind and rain. The second part: It's none of your business. Horizontal batch: while playing. 26. At the beginning of the year, I had nothing! At the end of the year, I'm still penniless. I'm still me. Fireworks with different colors make me angry. 27. When you feel lonely, turn on the computer and play a ghost movie. After a while, you will feel that there are people in the toilet, kitchen and room. 28. If someone hates me enough to pay someone to beat me, I want to tell you that if you give me the money, I will even beat myself as long as the money is in place. 29. Now in the street, whenever a beggar shakes me with money in a bowl, I feel that he is showing off his wealth to me. 30. I thought that life was about cats eating fish, dogs eating meat, and Altman beating small monsters. The reality is that the mouse plays the cat, the sheep plays the wolf, and two bears play Logger Vick to death. 3 1. Every winter, the places outside the bed are far away, and the places out of reach are all foreign countries. Going to the bathroom is a business trip 32. Don't expect to lose weight. Bajie has walked 108000 miles without losing weight. Besides, he is a vegetarian. 33. What if I don't want to wash clothes? Just bring a wife. If the daughter-in-law is virtuous, she will wash your clothes. If your daughter-in-law is tough, you should learn to wash clothes. 34. Every girl has a dress in her closet called: I used to be poor and now I feel ugly. 35. Holding a hot, rechargeable mobile phone and putting life and death at risk is a rare heroic moment in my life. 36. Far away, I saw my long hair fluttering. Approached, I looked around and saw the old demon in Montenegro. 37. I want to buy things when I am angry. When I buy things, I have to spend money. When I spend money, my money becomes less. I get angry when I have little money. 38. I have been waiting for happiness to knock at the door. After waiting for so many years, I didn't knock. Is my family a little biased? 39. To get the courier, the courier couldn't find it, so he turned to me and asked, Are you a small piece? 40. When you comfort others, you just want to find a rope when you comfort yourself. 4 1. When arguing with a woman, there is no need to be tit for tat, because she is just venting her emotions. Reasoning with her at that time was like casting pearls before swine. It is better to use one sentence: Maybe you are right. As long as you work very hard, one day you will find that you can never close the gap with the rich.