Do you want to tell your children that it is difficult to make money? 360 million people gave two results, and I have different choices.

Wechat official aCCount: cc parents ID: CC-Bama

I took two children to the playground the other day and was about to play bumper cars when I heard two children about CC's age arguing.

One of the children cried and said:

"I don't care I don't care, I just want to play, I want to play all the projects here! Mom bought me a ticket, I want to play! "

Another child said, he said very firmly:

"You don't know how hard it is for mom and dad to make money. We spent a lot of money on eating and drinking Lazar at school. Come and play one or two. "

Parents' painting style is naturally one-sided:

"Well, our children don't know anything. It's really considerate to look at your family. "

But as a bystander, mother C wants to say that neither reaction is very good.

This reminds me of a hot search I saw on Weibo some time ago # Should I tell my children that it is difficult to make money #.

The heated debate between the two factions in the comment area pointed the answer in two directions:

A "should".

The reason is that it is necessary for children to know the truth. If we keep them in the dark, there will be cognitive bias in the future and the consequences will be more serious.

One is "should not".

The reason is that there is no need for children to know the hardships of life and the cruelty of society too early, because they have no ability to bear such pressure, which will affect their growth.

what do you think? In the comment area at the end of the article, you can discuss it together. Mom c, just talk about how I did it over the years.

Children need to know the truth of making money.

Actually, CC asked me about money last year.

At that time, Dad C was going to the countryside, and I often worked late. She asked me, "Mom, Dad is going to work far away, so he can't go home or accompany us. You write articles every day and take care of me and my brother. Are you tired? Is it difficult for everyone to make money? "

I told CC the truth without hesitation: "Yes, it's not easy to make money."

In the process of parenting, truth is very important.

Just like the emotions we wrote before, when we are in a bad mood and feel uncomfortable, we all need to tell our children truthfully. Blindly concealing, disguising and forbearing will not only make us feel uncomfortable, but also make our children feel uncomfortable. Children can tell at a glance whether they are forced to smile or really happy.

We can neither let children shrink back because they are "not rich" nor let them completely understand the "sad taste".

But is it only "difficult" to make money?

Hard work is certain, but hard work is not equal to pain.

Many people are trying to create "making money requires a lot of hard work and fatigue-how tired you are, how expensive you spend, and how hard life is."

The message children get from it is that only special efforts and efforts can make money, and it is too painful to make money.

I think this is biased and fails to achieve the educational purpose.

In today's era, just saying "difficult" can no longer urge children to forge ahead, and may only make them lie flat.

I have met many children, and after listening to their parents' complaints, their reaction is:

Let me talk about my own experience. Although our family has been doing business for generations, it is a small business, but I have met my grandfather and father since I was a child, and I think it is a very pleasant thing to make money.

My grandfather will become a proud story for three generations because he overestimated the value of a sheep (in those days, he only relied on how many bones and meat a sheep could produce and then bid), and even because of his "picky eyes".

My father will be elated for a long time because he accurately calculated a wave of market prices and bet on a batch of goods at a low price, and he will also be happy because he talks about the cleverness of lower prices.

They don't love money very much, but they all love the process of making money.

I have witnessed many fathers' happiness in making money. Although I have seen real sufferings and experienced them personally, those sufferings have not affected my final cognition, and making money is a very happy thing.

So I will also tell CC that the work will be hard, but the rewards (sense of accomplishment+money) gained through the work will also make people happy.

I hope CC has a normal mind about making money.

Don't be afraid and contradictory before you start.

It's not terrible, just like doing anything. If you want to do well, you have to pay, but there will be surprises in return.

It is not easy to make money, but it is not because of you.

When we are telling our children the truth of making money, we must not forget to tell him: "Although it is not easy, it is not because of you."

Some time ago, my best friend forwarded a true story to me. After reading it, I felt uncomfortable for quite a while.

A father took his children to KFC to buy children's meals.

When I sat down to eat, my father said a word to my child:

"This meal took me half a day's hard work."

The child looks seven or eight years old. Although he didn't speak, watching him eat with his head down, I think he understood.

I have to say that this is indeed a good opportunity to "educate" children. The father not only lets the children know that it is not easy to make money, but also makes them feel grateful. The medal of "Good Dad" is another achievement.

This kind of scene is very common. Many people grew up listening to these words. Although I feel uncomfortable in my heart, I still can't help telling my child after becoming a parent:

You think you are educating your children to be grateful and frugal, thus stimulating their fighting spirit in learning. However, in the eyes of "young and ignorant" children, this is an unbearable pressure.

Because they can hear their parents' "subtext":

Children don't understand, this is the "provocation" of parents. They only know that "it is difficult to make money because of raising you" and they know that they are a drag on their parents, so there can be no "unreasonable" requirements. My family is poor and I don't deserve it. ...

The result is to let the child fall into guilt and inferiority step by step, which will not only make him really motivated, but also make him lose confidence and dare not try and take risks, because there is no opportunity and capital for trial and error.

There is a term in psychology called "anchoring effect".

It means that when people judge someone or something, they are easily dominated by the first impression or information, just like an anchor sinking into the sea, fixing people's thoughts in a certain place.

For children, all aspects of life, even the first anchor of the three views, come from parents.

Any "restrictive" beliefs you pass on to your child will reduce his future development space.

In the future, she will be so convinced that there must be trade-offs in life, and you can't have both, instead of trying to create the best of both worlds.

Looking for a job in the future "seems to have to choose between salary and family care"; Marrying a man "seems that you can't get everything by personality and education." But if you don't set limits for your child, she may find a life where she can have her own cake and eat it.

Children who believe that "they must work hard to earn money" have a high probability of choosing to earn hard money instead of choosing smart work mode/occupation/industry.

To give an inappropriate example, being a teacher, teaching a fixed number of students in school every day, sending away one session after another, and spitting chalk and Qi Fei hard every day, earning "hard money". But if valuable teaching methods are made into online courses, the audience will be infinite! "One cost can be sold indefinitely" is smart money earned.

So, how can we not pass on "restrictive beliefs" to children?

Reluctant to spend money on two toys? Then tell the child honestly: "I only want/can buy you a toy." This is mom's business, not that you don't deserve two. "

It's hard to make money? Then tell the child honestly: "our ability is limited, and we can only make money by selling a lot of labor." I hope that you will have more abilities and methods in the future, and you don't have to be so tired like us. "

This is what we said at the beginning, the most true truth.

Whether the conditions at home are good or not, whether it is hard to make money or not, is a matter for parents, and it is also a pot for parents. You can't let your child take the blame and impose your beliefs on him. Otherwise it will affect his life.

Many children are not rich at home and it is difficult to make money, which casts a shadow over their childhood. In fact, it is not because it is difficult to make money, but because parents conveyed that it is difficult to make money because of raising you.

A child who grew up in an environment where his parents cried for poverty, even if he had more wealth in the future, it would be difficult to get rid of the poor thinking.

Xue Zhaofeng said: "It is very important to educate children: you must strive, create and advance at your starting line;" No matter which starting line you are at, you must run further and go to Guangdong second class. "

Knowing this, no matter what the starting point of the child is in the future, whether he thinks it is hard to make money or not, his life will be happy.

Isn't this the original intention of "trying to make money"?

CC parents: the founder of "China Parents' Learning Program", C dad-master of China Medical University, doctor of 3A hospital; C Ma —— Editor-in-Chief of Children's Newspaper, and author of Good Parents' Temper to Get a Good Education.