Children are labeled as "timid and shy". What should parents do?

I don't know if parents have found out that the more you remind your children to "say hello" after you take them out to meet relatives and acquaintances, the more uncooperative they are; The more children are reminded to "don't be shy, be bold", the more they are afraid to face acquaintances and relatives.

Some children, when they were young, were often evaluated:

"Too honest, not lively and cheerful at all ..."

"It is impolite not to greet people ..."

"Don't be shy, be bold, or you will suffer when you grow up ..."

When there are enough comments and labels, these children will feel "maybe I am such a person" and unconsciously lean towards these people. Dare not raise your hand to speak at school; Participating in activities is always the last one; When you visit someone's house, you just sit on the sofa and play with your mobile phone.

How destructive is the psychological power of labels? "Label" has very strong psychological suggestion and guidance ability. When a child is labeled, it is easy to become the person marked on the label. Especially for children, they have special trust in close people and will "take their words as truth". Sometimes people around them can "destroy" a child by putting a label casually.

Timidity and shyness is a manifestation of introversion, and introversion is a type of temperament. Such children need a quiet environment to draw energy from their hearts. When they have accumulated enough energy, they can also show what Kan Kan said.

However, in today's pluralistic society, most people still look at introverted children with colored glasses, and even label them as "timid" and "afraid to speak".

When children are labeled as "timid" and "shy", parents' first reaction is very important. Even if you can not label others, it is difficult to avoid the evaluation and discussion of children around you. When children are labeled as "timid" and "shy", parents' first reaction should be to stand with their children.

Pay attention to children's feelings

Children must be sad and fragile when they are labeled. At this time, they need the care of their parents very much. Parents can judge their children's emotions through their expressions and actions, and appropriately ask their children, "You look unhappy. Can you tell me what happened? "

Pay attention to children's feelings, let them know that their parents will always accompany them, and let them reduce the troubles and feelings caused by labels.

Ask your child what he thinks of evaluation.

When a child is labeled, he is bound to doubt himself. "am I really such a person?" At this time, parents must know their children's understanding of this information and their evaluation and understanding of themselves.

When children are labeled and show unhappy emotions, parents can appease them and ask them, "Do you think you are like this?" "You have to trust your feelings. The feelings of others can't represent you, understand? "

Describe the bright spots you see in children.

Children must have had "self-doubt" when they were labeled. At this time, parents should help their children deny "self-doubt". Parents can mention their children's grades, such as how many points they scored in the exam and successfully climbed the mountain.

This kind of affirmation of children will make children regain their courage and confidence and think that they do not belong to this label, and there is still a bright spot in themselves.

Guide children to treat other people's comments correctly.

This kind of guidance can help children build their self-confidence quickly and avoid losing self-confidence and self-doubt because of other people's evaluation.