The reasons why older leftover women fail to date. Some older leftover women have never been able to get married.

I am Donglin Xiting. If you have a story, come to me.

Many things in life require "planning before taking action", especially some major life events, such as marriage.

Some people always say, "When fate comes, there is no way to stop it!" This view is very beautiful and dreamy to some people who have little life experience. However, anyone who has experience and self-awareness will not treat marriage so hastily.

Whether you understand marriage as "fate" or something else, these should be within your consideration range. The so-called "make a decision and then act" does not mean just think about it and then execute it. You also need to make the choices and decisions you are willing to make when facing different situations.

Fate is an uncertain thing. When you meet a person, no one can say whether he is your fate or not. Only when feelings begin and truly satisfy you can you attach a beautiful definition to them. Otherwise, you will regard good feelings or your own wishful thinking as fate, which will cause you to ignore many things.

Many people think it is fate and destiny when they first fall in love, but what is the result? Got broken up with, hurt. Judging from the results, it is enough to prove that the fate and destiny you think are very unreliable.

In other words, when dealing with feelings, you have to have a clear understanding and a relatively certain attitude. You can start a relationship at a certain age, or you can not. You must know how to make your own decisions and not passively follow your feelings.

Sadly, the reality is that many people just follow their feelings. Such people have either been wasted and injured in the love world, or have never met the right person. The reason is that you are always unsure of your feelings.

It may not hurt to be temporarily unsure about your relationship. But I have never been sure. As you grow older, when you become an older leftover girl or older leftover boy, facing the surrounding marriage environment and your parents' urging to get married, your mentality will be slightly worse, and you will have a sense of crisis. This kind of A sense of crisis will make you more uncertain about your relationship. "As long as someone is willing to marry me, I will marry him!"

Axiang is a person who is always unsure about relationships. People like her usually have this common problem, that is:

When talking about other people, she can talk about her feelings in a eloquent and clear way. However, the things she said about feelings were all opinions she took for granted or what she heard from hearsay. She only knew how to point fingers at others, but never reflected on herself or applied it to her own feelings.

Before the age of 35, although she was in love and on blind dates like others, she didn't use her brain or heart at all, and just resigned herself to fate. In the end, love was gone, blind dates kept failing, and she was always picky, so that she never got married.

As an older leftover girl, she dismissed her parents' urge to get married when she didn't have a sense of crisis in her heart. However, her parents kept urging her to get married and kept comparing her with others. People around her were getting married and having children one after another. She was in this external environment and was affected unknowingly.

When she realized that she was already over thirty, that she was already a leftover woman, that she was single, that her marriage was far away, she immediately felt a sense of crisis. .

After having a sense of crisis, she could no longer calm down. She began to "hate marriage" and no longer wanted to be picky. She said, "As long as someone is willing to marry me, I will marry him." .

However, marriage will not come because of her compromise, and the bigger problem is: she only talks about it, and there is no compromise in her heart.

Although she said she would not choose, she always disliked this and that when going on a blind date. It was obvious that she was choosing; although she wanted to get married, she lived in her own world when not going on a blind date. Isolate myself from the outside world. This resulted in her still being unable to get married and still being an older leftover girl.

Some older leftover women never get married, for two reasons!

In reality, there are many older leftover women and older leftover men like Axiang above. They really want to get married but have never been able to get married.

There are many people like this around me. They didn’t take marriage seriously before, and they only started to worry about it when they got older. Although he talks about all kinds of compromises, he actually doesn't compromise, and he doesn't care about marriage at all.

There are two reasons why these older leftover women have not been able to get married. If they do not recognize these two reasons, they are likely to remain single: 1. Uncertainty about marriage

The so-called "rightness" "Marriage is uncertain" is because these people have never calmed down to clarify their views on marriage. They just blindly pick and choose, but they don't know what kind of marriage they want, and they don't know what kind of marriage they want. People don’t know what kind of person is suitable for them, let alone how much they weigh.

Marriage is not a child’s play and involves many things. You are not sure about the issues that should be determined, and you just rely on your feelings and fate, which makes it difficult to make your marriage smooth.

When you go on a blind date, you naturally reject and reject it, and you don’t reflect on it after it’s over, and you don’t know why you reject or reject it. After that, you continue to play out the drama of rejection and rejection during blind dates, and this cycle continues. If this continues, your marriage will remain uncertain.

It’s just a blind date once or twice, you just don’t take it seriously. But you yourself have a sense of crisis, you are getting older, and you still don’t take it seriously, and you haven’t determined all the issues related to marriage, then how can you get married? ?2. Not paying attention to marriage

The so-called "not paying attention to marriage", the uncertainty about marriage mentioned in the above point, is the biggest lack of attention.

In addition, like Axiang above, when they are on a blind date, they are just blindly blind. When they are not on a blind date, they close themselves off and isolate themselves from the outside world. This is equivalent to cutting off the connection between themselves and marriage. , of course you won’t be able to get married.

Marriage cannot be achieved by just complaining and complaining. Only if you pay attention to it, start with yourself to determine what should be determined in marriage, and then make targeted choices, will you be able to get married successfully.

Just like the "plan and then act" we mentioned at the beginning: You have no "plan" and no "move", you just want pie in the sky, and you just want your marriage to happen uninvited. Come on, that's really a bit of a "dream".

In this real society, if you are unsure of anything and make yourself a mess, don’t really think about "marriage coming uninvited". It is very unrealistic. If you want to be sure that you don't want to get married, then follow the path you have determined. If you want to get married, then do it the way you want to get married. If you want to get married, you must be sure and take it seriously so that you can move forward with your goals. (Text/Dong Lin Xiting, if you have a story, come to me)