"Scaring Dogs" and "Beating Dogs" in Family Education

I was touched to see such a short story from an article. The story is that a man went to the village to do business, and suddenly a big dog rushed at him from a distance. He once heard a saying in the countryside that "dogs are afraid to squat down", because as soon as you squat down, the dog thinks you are going to pick up the stone on the ground and hit it, it will run away. So, he quickly squatted down, and sure enough, the dog turned and ran away in fear. But just then, an uncle suddenly came by, picked up a stone from the ground, and pushed it towards the dog. It just hit the dog's leg, and the dog let out a cry and ran further. Later, the uncle said to the man angrily, "If you squat down, you have to hit it. If you don't hit it, the dog won't believe you. It's a mess!"

That uncle's reprimand seemed to be addressed to me, which made me blush with shame. On the issue of educating children, I make the mistake of "scaring" but not "hitting" almost every day, and the consequences are serious and I don't know it. My son is more than four years old. He eats in kindergarten every afternoon after school. So every night when we eat, he is not hungry. When we eat, he plays with cars or watches TV in the living room. But he has formed the habit of eating before going to bed every night. Monday and Friday are excusable, but we can't eat well on Saturday and Sunday. When we eat, he can't even call the table, either saying that he is not hungry or losing weight. Even if he forcibly threatens to pull it to the table, he wriggles around and doesn't taste good! Many times I will frighten him angrily and say, "If you don't eat well, I won't let you eat anything at night, and you will be hungry!" " But before going to bed, he began to shout, "Mom, I'm hungry, I'm hungry! I'm hungry! I want to eat! " At the beginning, I can still persist in ignoring him, but seeing his poor appearance, pleading tone and even wronged crying, my hard heart will collapse a little until I finally stare at him and ask him, "Have you had a good meal in the future?" ！” After I got a positive answer, I compromised, prepared food for him and watched him gobble it up. Sometimes I want to starve him once, but I still can't give up. In this way, I haven't got rid of this bad habit until now. Eat well, this is the most basic behavior routine, but unconsciously I destroyed it. If you don't eat well, you will starve. This causal relationship, the child just listens to me every time, but never sees me implement it. He has never really learned the taste of starvation, so he will push his luck in my compromise and repeat the same trick again and again.

"Scaring the dog" is a new version of "Wolf" in family education. Countless talk in a mere formality has blurred the right and wrong in children's minds and is a disguised encouragement to wrong words and deeds.

In our daily life, we often see such scenes: our children (mainly children under the age of 1) are naughty, get into trouble, make mistakes, and parents verbally reprimand them, or openly slap them, or even really slap them, but in fact, you will feel the secret joy in their hearts from the uncontrolled smile on their faces. "Naughty children are smart" is a voice that they agree with. The most common way to make children quiet and well-behaved is to threaten and promise: "If you make trouble again, I will beat you!" " "If you are naughty again, I won't buy you XXX!" "If you are good, I will buy you XXX!" Indeed, many times it will play a certain role, and the children will temporarily give up. But it will soon rise up again, and the chicken will fly and the dog will jump. Because many times in their memory, many times they were not punished by the "consequences", and our parents quickly left it behind after saying it. No rules can't make Fiona Fang. If the rules at home are ineffective because of "scaring dogs", children will develop the habit of breaking the rules and ignoring them. Once in the society, children will face more severe punishment and more profound lessons, which parents should not want to see.

"Beating the dog" is an effective way of punishment under the principle of right and wrong. Parents must be determined and do what they say, so that "rules" can be planted in their children's ideology.

in our family, there are two ways to punish children for making mistakes, one is to stand off and the other is to beat the ruler. Daughters usually choose to stand as punishment, and many times they will cry while standing as punishment. I ignored her dissatisfaction and grievances as tears of regret. As for the son, he usually takes the initiative to play the ruler. He doesn't like dragging his feet. He likes to have fun. Although my son is only four years old, he is also good at observing words and feelings and knows the strategy and tactics of "the enemy advances and I retreat". I remember once he blocked the bedroom door with all kinds of toys and then shouted to me, "Mom, don't come in!" " I'm too lazy to pay attention to him while I'm busy with housework. After a long time, I suddenly realized that the silence in the room was a little abnormal, and I was curious about what he was doing. So I crossed all kinds of "mines" he set on the ground and quietly opened the bedroom door. It really surprised me in a cold sweat! He is standing on the windowsill, eager to jump! Judging from his appearance, he must have jumped more than once or twice! Although it is jumping into the house, it is also very dangerous! Seeing my angry appearance, he slipped down and took the initiative to get the ruler. He stood there and kept twisting and said to me, "Mom, I won't jump again, not once, not five times, not six times!" As he spoke, he clumsily gesticulated at the numbers with his little hand. Looking at his miserable appearance and listening to his stuttering immature language, I couldn't bear to drop my hand holding up the ruler! But a voice warned me severely: don't let maternal love flood at this time, or you will fall short! The sound of the ruler is my son's frowning brows and tearful eyes. Only pain can make him remember deeply and make the lesson last. I don't feel bad! I can't feel bad!

When it comes to "beating dogs", my brother's practice can also be used for reference. Although I privately think it is a little overkill, even a little simple and rude, the effect is really good. Because my aunt's brother is usually responsible for the transportation of the two children, the two children are very close to their brother psychologically, but they are afraid of him on the surface. Usually, if they do anything wrong, my brother never explains nonsense to them. As long as they are right, they must do it. If they are wrong, they will never give in and make an war decision. There is no doubt. Children also have children's cleverness, and they will also look at people's dishes and bully the weak. In front of their brother, they are absolutely obedient, without any melodramatic conditions. At this point, it is worthy of my reflection. As a mother, it is still difficult to resist the love and affection in my heart and be selfless, but when it is time to hit the dog, I still have to be cruel and still have a stone in my hand!

"scaring the dog" is harmful, and "beating the dog" is love. Parents must stick to their own principles and bottom line, do what they say, do what they do, correctly guide their children to distinguish right from wrong, and standardize their words and deeds. Only in this way can they abide by the rules and order well when they enter the society, without being at a loss, without being at a loss.