How to forgive a man who betrayed himself?

First of all, forgiveness must be based on the attitude of the other party.

The other person has a good attitude and is willing to admit his mistake, especially when he wants to wait for your forgiveness. In this case, forgiveness is necessary. On the contrary, if the other party doesn't realize his mistake at all, doesn't care about the harm he has done to you, or even doesn't care about your forgiveness, especially if he continues to betray you, then there is no forgiveness at all in these cases.

Regarding forgiveness, many people made mistakes in the first link. If something goes wrong, the person who betrayed you said nothing, so he said to ta, "I forgive you!" " If a person doesn't care about you at all, he just wants to hurt you maliciously. What can you forgive?

Yes, chicken soup for the soul and the like will tell you: forgive others, and hatred in your heart is a sign of your incompetence; Putting down others is also putting down yourself. Not forgiving those who hurt themselves is tantamount to being narrow-minded.

You see, you were hurt, and then you couldn't forgive, but you became a villain and a villain. What wonderful logic is this?

We are all ordinary people, don't make yourself so high-end. We can't reach the kind where others hurt us and we don't care about the harm, but we can forgive each other as easily as if nothing had happened-we can't. Even if it can be done, what's the point of such forgiveness?

Cai Kangyong once said: Some people hurt us, and we finally forgave ta. Actually, we didn't really let go, just, forget it.

Secondly, forgiveness must be valuable and meaningful.

Forgiveness must be positive energy; Forgiveness will certainly help to improve your situation.

From this perspective, you can measure whether your choice is really forgiveness. If the result of forgiveness is that you don't make progress at all, or even get worse, then no matter how you interpret your behavior, it is probably not forgiveness, maybe compromise, or even a sign of your cowardice and incompetence.

I once said, why many people always choose to forgive in the face of betrayal-in fact, it is not that ta really wants to forgive, but because ta can only choose to forgive!

This is the truth of the matter. If you can't see this layer, it is easy to use "forgiveness" to cover up your "cowardice" and avoid your own problems. Accordingly, your state will never get better.

True forgiveness is a choice. You can forgive or not forgive, and then choose to forgive. This is the real forgiveness-ask yourself, can you choose not to forgive? If the answer is no, this is actually a more worrying question.

When you have a choice, you decide to forgive. You made this choice because you saw the value and significance after the choice. In other words, your forgiveness is for your own happiness, not for more pain, not for helplessness.

After encountering emotional betrayal, the other party is sincere and active. At this time, think about the feelings of husband and wife accumulated for many years, think about children and think about your future. After comprehensive weighing, I think that through my own forgiveness, I may not get the desired result, but it is the best solution at present. In this case, I choose to forgive each other and finish my forgiveness homework.

Not taboo, forgiveness is equivalent to a kind of tolerance for those who have hurt themselves. This kind of tolerance is extreme and a kind of charity. Therefore, forgiveness is high-profile, not Nuo Nuo's humble bow; If you really want to forgive this "charity", what you need must be money. If you have 100, it is possible to give it to others 1. Then, you should understand and accept that only those who have strong and rich hearts can really forgive.

In reality, many people actually regard forgiveness as an "exchange" to save each other. I forgive you in exchange for your return. If this is the way of thinking, then such forgiveness is basically a compromise attitude. After the other person really turns back, your heart will not really be eliminated, and you will still be painfully entangled in the past.

Finally, forgiveness takes time, accumulation and process.

Most people, after knowing that the other party betrayed them, quickly made a decision to forgive-such forgiveness must not be true forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not that simple. Forgiveness is not just lip service. When a person can really forgive all kinds of injuries caused by the other party, it must be a long process to complete the process of forgiveness. And this process is also a process of constantly improving and strengthening yourself-just like 100 and 1 mentioned just now. Only by accumulating yourself to 100 can you really take out 1 to forgive ta.

Why do many people make forgiveness statements from the beginning?

Because, at this time, betrayal has completely collapsed your inner sense of security and stability, so you will think that as long as you forgive yourself, everything seems to be back on track, and all this can pass.

The fact is not that simple-betrayal of feelings, repair of feelings, reconstruction of marriage and so on. It's a long process, and this process won't pass immediately because of your simple "forgiveness". You see so many people in reality, even if they choose to forgive each other, will they get better immediately?

No, no. Not only did it not get better immediately, but the marriage feelings did not get better immediately-this is the sequela left by betrayal, which needs to be healed slowly, not in a day or two.

The simplest question to ask yourself is, after you choose to forgive each other, do you trust each other completely? After you choose to forgive, will all this really pass, and will your heart and pain really end completely?

Not at all.

So, about forgiveness, let's leave time to give ourselves an answer.

The last two sentences are reserved for those who have suffered emotional betrayal, which will help you better interpret "forgiveness":

1. If you cannot forgive, don't force yourself to forgive.

2. Forgiveness has nothing to do with marriage. Not divorcing doesn't mean forgiving each other, and divorce doesn't mean not forgiving each other. Therefore, it is actually better to deal with forgiveness and marriage separately.