What can I get over my prose?

At that time, she was just an ordinary kindergarten teacher in the countryside. She bought three old tile houses and started a kindergarten with her husband. There are no decent classrooms and playgrounds, and twenty or thirty children are crowded into one room for classes. The car that picks up the children is the tricycle that her husband runs for rent. At that time, her life was also tight.

Later, her family funded her to build a building. With spacious classrooms and playgrounds, many entertainment facilities have been added. The car that picks up the children has also been replaced by a van. She also invited two teachers, so there were three classes: big, middle and small. The kindergarten is getting bigger and bigger, which makes her famous. With the gratifying situation of kindergarten students, her career is in full swing and her economic situation has been greatly improved. In just a few years, with a lot of savings, she also bought a house in a bustling area of Datong Lake District and rented it out to others. The abundance of life has changed her mind greatly. Today, she is increasingly fashionable in dressing, only patronizing specialty stores when buying clothes, and she is not stingy with cosmetics that cost hundreds of dollars a bottle. She often tells me that to be a woman, you should get over it, buy more high-end clothes and cosmetics, dress yourself up, protect yourself and cherish yourself, and don't let yourself live too wronged.

Maybe it's because of her influence or my vanity. In those years, when my family's economy was not affluent, I looked at myself as if I were possessed. Seeing the growing deformation of my body, I secretly bought diet pills to eat, and saw the spots on my face. I secretly bought health care products from Yangshengtang to eat. In order to keep the remaining youth, I have racked my brains. I am extremely open-minded and I don't hesitate to spend so much money to satisfy my vanity.

fortunately, although I have vanity, I have not lost my conscience. I know it's not easy for my husband to make money, unlike the black-hearted money made by others through opportunism and deception, nor the dirty money made by others through theft and robbery. It's the hard-earned money that he paid for when he worked hard for others and welded anti-theft doors and windows, which almost blinded his eyes. I know that my family environment does not allow me to indulge myself. Every penny in the family has its mission, and it is even more urgent to pay off debts. Starting from scratch, we got the support of kind relatives when we were in trouble, and we can't be rascals. We should pay back the money we owe others as soon as possible, and then stand upright and be a man. With this in mind, I no longer buy diet pills, skin care products and clothes. Although my friends have repeatedly told me to get over it, I can think about my own situation. What can I get over it?

In the face of fleeting youth and aging face, I had an easy time being led by desire. However, too many worries forced me to face the reality, then adjust my mentality and return to simplicity.

In those years, although the children were young and the family expenses were not very large, I spent the most precious years of my life in order to pay off my debts by suppressing myself, indulging myself and then suppressing myself. Now that I think about it, although I wronged myself materially in those years, I feel at ease mentally because I didn't owe anyone.

Now, when her children grow up, she spends more than 1, yuan a year in high school. A rural family doesn't have much income in a year. Although the family has opened a small supermarket, it has not been able to become bigger and stronger because of the lack of capital investment in the early years, so the business is only small and small, just enough to make ends meet. Forced to make a living, my husband and I planted more than ten acres of cotton as the main source of income, and the income in the shop was only used as an auxiliary economy. In this way, the total income of a year is about 3, to 4,, which can only support a family, send children to school and complete college studies in the future. We still need to make continuous efforts. In order to let children study with peace of mind and have no worries about the economy, we can't slack off at all.

My friends often tell me that being a woman should be open-minded, buy more beautiful clothes to dress herself up, buy skin care products to take care of herself, and don't bask in the sun all the time, so as not to make people look old-fashioned. Of course, my friend's words have her kindness, but I can't get over it. I can't ignore my husband's hard work and his difficulties. Like me, he gave up going out to make a living for the growth of his children and chose this miserable life. I can't think about buying fashionable clothes and high-grade cosmetics for myself, and I can't find an excuse not to go outside to help my husband share the heavy farm work for fear of tanning. This is our same home, and we have the same mission, that is, to work hard for the future of our children.

My friend said that she was very open-minded. I think, if she hadn't been pulled by her family, would she have such a comfortable life today? Will she get over it, too Some words are easy to say casually, but it is not so easy to put them into action. If a person's heart is hard enough and cold enough, he can go his own way and have no fetters; However, such an open mind is cold. I can't do such an open mind. What can I get over it?

It's also an embarrassing way to go home

In the first month of 1997, my husband and I came to his hometown, a small town that had just been ravaged by floods. I can't feel the flavor of the new year when I see the collapsed houses, the temporary striped cloth sheds and the helpless villagers. Only a kind of desolation that I have never felt personally makes my mind restless for a long time.

if you choose poverty, you will be bound to suffer. Facing the ruins, we began to face the hardships of starting from scratch.

In those years, when I came back to my hometown occasionally, I could always make those discerning villagers notice something from my face that was tanned by the sun and no longer white. They decided that my life was not good, and they asked me whether I had planted dozens of acres of land or whether I was tired from farm work. In fact, I didn't farm at that time, just because I had to deliver meals to my husband who opened a repair shop a mile away from home every day, and I also helped my mother-in-law to help with the vegetable garden. I was not less exposed to the sun, so my skin turned black. Such an inquiry, I actually know that there is not much concern in it, but more of a doubt, whether my life is bitter or not, and whether my in-laws are poor. The villagers are always envious of the fact that the daughter of a certain family can marry a rich family, but feel sad and ridiculous about the woman who marries a poor family. In the face of their inquiries, I was embarrassed to tell them that I didn't do heavy farm work and I was not too tired. I didn't know what to say anymore. Because I know that no matter what I say, they won't believe me. They have found the answer from my skin color.

The villagers once embarrassed me, and I was so embarrassed that I couldn't wait to find a crack in the ground, but it was time to go home and borrow money from my relatives.

In order to raise funds for building, we had to go home with the cheek, and found our relatives' home under the guidance of our mother. Under the crying of my mother with tears and snot, my relatives sympathized with my situation and lent me money readily, ranging from 5, to 1,. For the first time, I put down my dignity in front of people, which made me a little embarrassed.

Later, in order to do business better, I went home nervously and found relatives. Looking for them for the second time, I felt unspeakable shame. For the sake of my home, I still spoke timidly.

I borrowed money from my relatives twice, which changed me from a confident person to an inferiority complex. From then on, I was afraid to go home and meet my relatives who lent me money. Because the income at that time was meager, we were unable to repay the money we owed them, which made me feel ashamed after seeing them. In fact, at that time, they all knew that I was not doing well, and no one urged me to ask for money. I am a proud person, for fear that my relatives will think that I have cheated because I have not paid back the money I owe them for a long time.

In those years, although going home made me feel warm at home, I still felt that going home was an embarrassing way more often.

in October 29, the elder sister gave birth to a second child. I decided to go home and visit her. Because the home was renovated that year, and the cost of renovation was borrowed from relatives and friends, the economy was naturally very tight. I only had a few hundred dollars in my pocket and set foot on my way home. In Huarong's supermarket, I bought new clothes and milk for my little nephew, thinking that my cousin also had a daughter, and my uncle's family treated me well. I should buy a dress for my little niece to show my heart. After several times, there is not much money in hand.

when I got home, I saw my grandmother and grandmother after a long separation, and I gave them another 1 yuan each, leaving only the fare for going back. My second sister asked me to accompany her to visit her son's school, but I didn't buy a penny for my nephew. It's not that I'm stingy, but the money in my hand can't afford any gifts at all, even if it's a drink or a few pounds of fruit, but I can't. If I have to buy it, I'll have to borrow the fare from my sisters. I really don't want them to know that I am so miserable. Although I am a sister, I won't put down my self-esteem in front of them easily unless I have to. The first time I felt guilty, I will never forget it. I don't know what my second sister will think. Will she misunderstand that I prefer my eldest sister's family? In fact, I have never been partial. Think about those years, no matter how much I longed to put on some decent clothes, I rarely stopped at Yueyang's shopping mall when I passed through Yueyang on my way home. Passing through there, I visited the clothing supermarket there, but I bought clothes for my nephews and nieces and gave them a surprise when I got home. Alas, this time I was empty-handed for the first time!

It has been several years since this incident, but I have never mentioned my embarrassment in front of my second sister. I don't want to explain anything for fear of her misunderstanding. Now that I have been wrong, what can I say?

My parents died, and my brother and sister are also making a living outside, so there is not much point in going back. As a result, I am no longer as eager to go home as before. And going home, for people like me who have no chance of wealth, is also an embarrassing way to go home.