What about parents who encounter verbal violence?

I am a mother with a second child. In daily life, I believe many parents have used verbal violence against their children. I think the harm of language violence is as follows:

Hurt the child's self-esteem. At one time, I scolded my child because he didn't do his homework well. But I found that even if you are furious, the child will not help his homework except fear and resistance. These verbal violence really hurt his self-esteem.

Hit children's self-confidence. It turns out that when our parents use verbal violence, the children will think that my mother denies me, so I am an idiot. However, he dared not try anything. He defines himself, and I certainly can't. My mother often called me an idiot, so I stopped trying.

Children learn to lie. If a child lives under verbal violence for a long time, then he will learn how to lie. Because lying may hide the truth and avoid parents' abuse, things will be vicious circle over time.

To sum up the above points, I think the use of verbal violence against children really makes us lose more than we gain. So I suggest that parents should do this:

First of all, when a child encounters difficulties or does something wrong, we should teach him with more patience. Even if he doesn't understand once, we can say it several times. We must be patient. Then control your emotions and don't show excessive behavior or language damage.

So as children, we can communicate with our parents like this:

First of all, we can tell our parents how we feel about language violence, let them know what you really think, and then talk about what you want your parents to do when you encounter difficulties or contradictions. For example, let the children solve this problem by themselves first. In this process, how do you want your parents to help you solve this problem instead of scolding you at the beginning? Finally, when it's over, give your parents a summary or talk about your views on this matter.

In this case, parents will definitely reflect on their behavior after understanding their children's real thoughts.

Finally, JJ wants to say that whether a child is good or bad depends on communication and care!