Super funny jingle. Say it?

Old beans are young and strong; Beat the old beans and bless the Bodhisattva! When I was a child, I sang these jingles everywhere ~ What a naughty boy ~

1. If I were a fox and you were a hunter, would you chase me? If I were tea and you were boiling water, would you soak me? If I were a car and you were a driver, would you drive me? If you are money and I am a passbook, I will definitely take yours.

2. A person is sitting in a lovesick chair, holding a lovesick pen, looking at the lovesick moon, thinking about you, writing down lovesick letters, lovesick words and lovesick tears. I'm thinking about you!

3. Women's fear: First, they are afraid of their sophomore year and their waistline is big; Third, I am afraid that I have no pocket money; Fourth, I am afraid that my clothes are out of date; Fifth, I am afraid that my children will not go home in the bar; Finally, I'm afraid my husband's heart is too flowery.

You are a pen, I put you in my pocket, you are a buccal tablet, I put you in my mouth, you are underwear, I stick you to my body, you are my hair, and I dare not take a bath for half a year for fear of burning you.

5. A broken jar has its own broken lid, and an ugly ghost has its own ugly girl's love. As long as love is as deep as the sea, Asako can shine.

6. God gave me a pair of feet and taught me how to stand still, but I only learned to escape; God gave me a straight back and taught me how to persevere, but I only learned to show off!

7. You're the wind, I'm the sand, I'm Ye Er, you're the flower, you're fine, others are praising you, without you, I would go to a bar, get drunk and climb on the floor, miss you, and the sky would fall. After I got drunk, I reveled in the street and was sent home by the police uncle!

8. The Internet is a lie! Netizen netizen, there is nothing on the net! Online dating online dating is always lovelorn! Internet cafes Internet cafes, the Internet is full of scars! Internet, Internet is heartbreaking and depraved!

9. Four years of university-freshman year: the university road is still flat and smooth; Sophomore: I have to finish college in four years, so I am upset; Junior year: I haven't finished college yet, and I have no patience; Senior: The university is still studying hard. My heart is broken!

10. There are small fancy wines every day, and the whole glass of beer is drunk; If you are strong, you will have a strong hand, and you will not leave until you are completely defeated; After three rounds of wine, the mood is flying and there is no one to help the wall; A heartbroken dream, wake up to see a toilet!

1 1. Fly to America in a hurry, just to eat a hamburger; I have to say that I am the best actor when I meet a talent scout when I go out. How did these wonderful things happen? Dream!

12. Classification of students. Students who fail the grade are called: international students; Students with money at home are called gifted students; Students who doze off in class are called poor students.

13. Staring is a temper, and being beaten is the purpose. Although my arm is bursting, try it!

14. A broken jar has its own broken lid, and an ugly ghost has its own ugly love. As long as love is as deep as the sea, Asako can shine.

15. I missed you secretly last night, and my dream was full of salty tears. When I woke up, what blurred my vision in my dream was a pillow of saliva.

16. Get the word in the dream, change the gun. Originally a three-legged cat, it added a tiger waist. Walking is powerful and heroic. It's too bad to wake up and watch. The tiger has become a straw bag

17. The taste of first love: yogurt, sweet and sour; The taste of love: wine is easy to faint; The taste of marriage: tea, if you don't change it, the more you soak it, the weaker it will be. The taste of divorce: coffee, bitter but thought-provoking.

18. One thin and one fat two women meet. The thin woman said, "If I were as fat as you, I would have died in the morning." The fat woman said, "When I hang myself, I must treat you as a rope."

19. The so-called "pointing at the belly" means ... pointing at the girlfriend's belly and saying to her parents, "Mom and Dad, we are getting married!"

20.

1 year-old,

10 years old, every day,

30 basic orientation,

40 is popular everywhere,

50 people retired,

60 playing mahjong,

70 bask in the sun,

80 in bed,

90 hanging on the wall.

2 1.

Cherry is delicious, but trees are difficult to grow.

Love is easy to talk about,

When youth is over and no one loves it,

Let a hundred flowers blossom, this year and next,

Time goes by and never comes again,

Wish you a peach blossom this year.

22.

There are fine wines every day.

Drink a whole glass of white wine and beer;

If you are strong, you have a good hand.

If you don't fall down completely, you won't leave;

After three drinks,

Hold the wall without help;

A dream is heartbreaking,

Wake up and look at the toilet!

23.

Into the personnel department,

Go up every day;

Enter the Ministry of Finance,

Have money every day;

Enter the logistics department,

Thinking about the way out every day;

Walk into the sales department,

Take a walk every day;

Enter the production department,

Catch up with progress every day;

Enter the technical department,

Busy drawing every day.

24.

Men are not jealous,

Not rich in feelings;

Women don't get jealous,

Family disharmony;

Children are not jealous,

Learning does not progress;

Old people are not jealous,

The more you live, the more confused you are;

Everyone is jealous,

Social progress;

A little confused.

Wish you a smile!

25.

After twittering, the rooster soaked the hen. The exam is enough, and the answer depends on your brain. I don't understand in class, all because of old things. The teacher is full of nonsense, trouble and verbosity. Life is China's, and death is China's soul. It is impossible for me to learn English. I still miss Xiang Yu and can't speak English. My unqualified language shows my character even more. The teacher takes full responsibility for failing math. English is not qualified because I am patriotic. Doing well in the exam depends on sitting at the same table. You didn't do well in the exam, and neither did your deskmate. Going to school every day is even more worrying, and teachers can't do without lectures; Listening to me is like sleepwalking, and there is no reason to criticize every time; I want revenge for my homework, which I have foolishly completed; Time flies like an arrow, but the sun and the moon don't fly. Copy all your homework, or you won't hand it in. Go to school, wait until school is over, and have a holiday after school. Year after year, this meaning hates lingering. Classmates are classmates. Fly separately as soon as school is over, all day. The east wind blows and the drums beat. Who is afraid of who in today's world? Just because the south wind blows and it rains slightly, it's all my own fault for blowing too well. The sky is gray and wild, and there are four lines on the composition paper.