What kinds of "psychological abilities" are most useful in intimate relationships?

"It is easy to fall in love, but difficult to get along with", which is an eternal problem. It is actually very simple for two people to fall in love quickly, as long as they have enough dopamine, but it takes a lot of ability to operate if they want to go on. Today, let's talk about which "psychological abilities" are the most useful in this intimate relationship.

Let's talk about the "emotional ability" in this intimate relationship.

In recent years, this "* * * emotional ability" is often talked about by everyone. The * * * emotional ability between lovers can make both sides understand and enjoy each other's emotional experience, and can help couples better understand and support each other and establish a deeper emotional bond.

If the couple lack emotional ability, the consequences may be emotional loss, indifference or even rupture. Therefore, a good relationship means that both sides should actively develop and improve their emotional ability in order to establish a healthier and more intimate relationship.

How to learn * * * love?

Acceptance: When a friend tells you a bad thing that happened to him, he must have his own views and opinions, just as all emotions have their own reasons, so we should learn to accept and pay attention to his emotions first.

Understanding: After accepting the fact that he has emotions, the next step is to know in detail what happened and the reasons for his emotions. At this time, we need to be a good listener and feel each other's thoughts and feelings.

Expression: This is the most important part of * * * emotion. Without judging right or wrong, you can express your understanding of his emotions to the person you confide in, so that the other person can feel that his ideas are not unreasonable but acceptable and tolerant. You can also summarize the development process from events to opinions to emotions for him.

Inspiration: After you have achieved the basic three points, you can try to inspire each other to face the problem from another angle, or guide them to pay attention to the future and calmly find a solution to the current problem.

* * * Strong emotional ability shows that you are a gentle and delicate person. Usually such people can understand and take care of others' emotions better, and everyone is more willing to get along with such people. However, the shortcoming of strong emotional ability is that it is easy to be sentimental and fall into the whirlpool of love. To put it bluntly, it is blx, so this will still go too far.

Another thing to say is "expressive ability".

Perhaps many people have heard of "love", but few people know of "narrative". "* * * love" means understanding others, and "expressing love" means letting others understand themselves. This is also a very important ability, especially in intimate relationships.

This is simply the ability to describe your feelings through accurate expression. Having the ability to express feelings helps others to understand their inner feelings and psychological characteristics, and then reach a happy relationship with others.

To have the ability to express feelings, the first basic skill is to tell the truth, speak objectively and describe clearly, and don't take it for granted. For example, the wife said to her husband: You have never been in the kitchen. Husband retorted: Never? You heartless bastard. "Never" is not objective, it is easy to make the other party unhappy and the effect is not good.

Note that the other person will stay with you only if he is attracted to you, but being attracted to you does not mean knowing you. To really know what you are thinking, you should always tell him your thoughts and feelings. After a long time, he can reach the state you want only after he knows most of your thoughts and personality characteristics, which requires "narration".

Then there is this "emotional value".

Emotional value = emotional gain? Emotional cost. Therefore, in a comfortable and long-term intimate relationship, both parties will be able to provide enough emotional value, become an emotionally mature person, and learn to provide high emotional value to each other, which will make you get along more happily and have a long-term intimate relationship.

Give priority to calming and stabilizing emotions.

If you want to be an emotional container, you must first make sure that you are in good condition and emotionally stable. If you are in a bad state, please give yourself emotional value first, learn to accept your emotions and calm them down. Don't force yourself to give emotional value, it should be provided in the state of "love overflow".

Listen actively and give positive feedback.

Don't be half-hearted, while listening to each other and doing other things, the other party will lose the desire to communicate. Less abstract feedback and more positive feedback in specific situations. For example, don't use the general statement of "don't be sad", but use the specific statement of "I don't know what's wrong with you today, but I will always be with you if you like".

Sincerely ask what the other person can do.

When you really don't know what to do, you might as well ask with concern: What can I do for you at this moment to make you feel comfortable and smooth?

If you don't get a clear response, it's better to hug each other and stay quietly by your side, let them know that you have been there. Don't judge right or wrong, first agree with appeasement and follow each other's emotions.

The maintenance of this intimate relationship requires two people to come together. The above is not all, but these are necessary. In a relationship, we should always care for it and give it words to make it grow healthily.