The father loves his eldest son, but the mother pities him: there is nothing wrong with love, but it is wrong to spoil him.

On our side, there is a saying that often hangs on the lips of the older generation: the father loves the eldest son, but the mother pities him. This means that fathers usually have a special relationship with their oldest children, while mothers usually love their youngest children.

It stands to reason that these two kinds of love should be consistent and have the same influence on children's growth. But in practice, we often see such things: as the first child in the family, they are particularly responsible and generally do not mix too badly; As an old man at home, he lives on his laurels at home, or he has little future.

Why?

I have met such a family, and I have got to know it carefully. The parents of that family gave birth to five children, three men and two women. From the eldest to the fourth, everyone has their own family and career, and they don't need to worry about their parents, not to mention how much others are better, but they also lag behind. But Lao Yao is married and has two children. Divorced, two children, living in poverty.

Let me talk about this old one in detail. Because his father died in his thirties. At that time, he divorced himself, his mother took care of his children, and he went out to work by himself. Basically, I am alone every year, and there is nothing left. There is no new year's goods at home during the Spring Festival, and children don't give lucky money. It seems that it's none of his business, because his mother pawned everything for him. Only occasionally did his brother and sister talk about him, and he knew that there was such a thing. If you talk too much, you will be glib and thick-skinned Anyway, if he doesn't solve it himself, others can solve it. Anyway, growing up.

In this way, he lived for more than 50 years, and now the people are rich in the face of reform and opening up, but he has accomplished nothing. Leave thousands of dollars to play cards every year, and you can always lose them in ten days. It is reasonable not to buy new year's goods at home. As usual, I asked my 80-year-old mother for the fare. My son-in-law will give me some money on holidays.

This son has such a characteristic: doing nothing at home, sometimes winning money in a good mood, and losing his temper with his old mother in a bad mood; It's fun to help others outside. Everyone seems to like it because they always smile at others. But behind his back, everyone said he was gossiping. He is still gnawing at his old age, achieving nothing and looking poor. But he is very nice and doesn't feel embarrassed at all.

My two children, who are so big, are basically neglected. Maybe he gave those two children some genes! A child's marriage is like a bystander who doesn't pay, contribute or worry. So the marital status of the two children is very bad.

Why is there such a big difference between one mother and another? Maybe a fucking sentence can solve my doubts: I'll take care of him for a day now, until I leave! If I don't help him solve the problem now, who will?

His mother is 86 years old and still takes care of him. He is 52 years old and has never taken any responsibility.

His sister complained to his mother: you caused all this for my brother. You help him do everything well, always think of him, and don't want him to solve any difficulties by himself. Here's the thing.

Father loves his eldest son, but mother sympathizes with him. I think there is nothing wrong, but fatherly love is severe and maternal love is kind. Fatherly love will not do everything for children, while maternal love is easy to spoil, making children lose their independence and sense of responsibility.

I don't know how many such things and stories are. I hope parents in the world will not misinterpret the words of their ancestors.

There is nothing wrong with love, but it is wrong to spoil.