Hurry back and remarry, a yellow-faced woman who only knows how to coax children, who wants you?

When I first wrote this article, the first person that came to my mind was Jay Chou.

Jay Chou has a familiar song that I believe everyone has heard, called "Listen to Mommy". One of the lyrics goes like this:

Listen to Mommy, don't let her She was hurt and wanted to grow up quickly so that she could protect her.

This lyrics is really good. Every child should know how to be filial to his mother. She was pregnant in ten months and went through all the hard work to bring you into this world. This kind of kindness is important to us. You can spend your entire life without repaying anything.

But what is filial piety? It's actually really simple, as the song goes, just listen to her.

Be filial and filial. If you want to be filial, you must be obedient. In childhood, obedience is the greatest praise for a child. At the same time, it is actually the most basic filial piety to the mother.

And when we reach adolescence, youth, even start a family and start a career, or even reach middle age, the ways of being filial to our mother can change according to our abilities, and there are many forms.

But it never changes away from its origins. Tracing back to the source, it is not difficult to find that no matter what you do, you still listen to her; no matter what method you use to fulfill your filial piety, you are actually following her. Coax her, don't disobey her, and try every means to make her happy according to her wishes.

Many people feel that they don’t know where to start with filial piety. You see, filial piety is actually that simple.

However, don’t be too happy too early. There must be a certain degree of control in everything, and the same should be true for filial piety. Filial piety is not the same as foolish filial piety, and obedience is not the same as being unprincipled.

We just said that filial piety actually means being obedient, but it is not entirely true. When we were children, we did not have a complete understanding of the world and our three views were not yet perfect. We need to completely obey our mother's arrangements. Obey 100% and be a good kid.

But as adults, we can be responsible for our own behavioral abilities, have a sound subjective consciousness, know what we want, how we want to live, and what is more suitable for us. If you follow your mother's arrangements with your brain, that would be putting the cart before the horse.

If Mr. Dou had understood this earlier, he would not have ended up alone in his current situation. He complained all kinds of things, sometimes blaming his mother for being too domineering, helping him to make decisions and monopolizing power, which ruined his marriage. , and then complained that his ex-wife was too strong and insisted on confronting his mother, who was too squeamish and could not bear the slightest grievance.

But he just didn't find the reason from himself. He only felt that he was an innocent victim, like a doormat between the two women, and was miserably cheated.

What exactly happened to Mr. Dou? This matter started a long time ago. Mr. Dou married his ex-wife Xiaoliu seven years ago. He and Xiaoliu formed a friendship when they were in college. The family conditions of Xiaoliu's family were not bad at first, but not long after they got engaged, Xiaoliu's father fell seriously ill and passed away. Treating his father, the Xiaoliu family has spent most of their wealth, but how can money compare with others? Money can be more, but only one life is needed. As long as their father can be cured, the Xiaoliu family has never cared about money. things.

At that time, Xiaoliu’s father resisted treatment and went on a hunger strike because he wanted to leave something for Xiaoliu, out of a father’s great paternal love. But Xiaoliu refused to say anything. When her father made troubles, she also followed suit. The two strong tempers of father and daughter came together, and Xiaoliu's father finally compromised.

But things went against expectations. Things in the world are always uncertain. Xiaoliu's father developed a rejection reaction shortly after the operation and eventually passed away.

The money was spent but the person could not be saved. Perhaps only the person involved can understand this sadness.

After learning that the Xiaoliu family was in decline, Mr. Dou’s mother was actually a little unhappy. Mr. Dou’s family was actually very poor. Mr. Dou’s mother originally pointed to this daughter-in-law as a I did some things at home, but now I am as poor as my own family, so I feel a little unhappy. I have complained to Mr. Dou many times and want to regret the marriage, but Xiaoliu naturally doesn't know about these things.

Later, Mr. Dou's mother directly showed her cards: "Our family has no money. If you marry, the bride price will be waived. You won't have any dowry to pay back anyway. I don't have any need for a wedding. After all, you Dad left not long ago, so it’s not easy to hold a wedding now, so just get a certificate.”

Xiao Liu is also a real girl. She has never thought about changing her heart when she has identified a person, and she has no house. There was no car, no wedding, no bride price, but she still married Mr. Dou.

This is how she has felt since her father left. Material things are external things, and people are the most important thing, so cherish the people you love, cherish your feelings, and cherish every moment you can be together. One day, this is the most important thing. This may be the reason why Xiao Liu resolutely married Mr. Dou when her family needed material help the most.

She thought that she would be happy if she married for love, and would be treated well by her husband's family because of their consideration and understanding. However, after marriage, she discovered that everything was far from as simple and beautiful as she thought.

Without a house, Xiao Liu and her husband can only live with her mother-in-law under the same roof. For Mr. Dou, living with his mother is of course stress-free, but as a migrant, Xiaoliu's departure was not so easy, especially when the mother-in-law was still quite strong.

My mother-in-law didn’t think much of Xiaoliu, who was in a poor family, from the beginning. As soon as Xiaoliu walked in, she immediately showed an incomparable sense of superiority and left all the work at home to Xiaoliu. She often Treat Xiaoliu like a maid.

It’s not that Xiaoliu didn’t have a job. She was fine when she was at work. As long as she stayed at home, her mother-in-law would always find something to do for her. Even if there was nothing to do, her mother-in-law would not let her be idle. With.

"Xiaoliu, give me a glass of water"

"Xiaoliu, peel a fruit for me"

Xiaoliu here, Xiaoliu there, lie on the sofa by yourself Watching TV and bossing Xiaoliu around are nothing. After all, Xiaoliu is a very gentle and gentle girl. She is also diligent. Even if she is a little impatient with her mother-in-law, she will still do her best. , and will not hold grudges.

But sometimes, Xiao Liu cannot tolerate some of her mother-in-law's behaviors. Her mother-in-law is really bad-mouthed. She often makes sarcastic comments about Xiaoliu and Xiaoliu’s natal family. Sometimes she just makes some flattering remarks and puts down Xiaoliu’s natal family to elevate her own family. Xiaoliu can tolerate these words for the time being. But sometimes the words he said were really unacceptable to Xiaoliu, and they were talking about Xiaoliu's late father.

"Tell me, this is not a trap. If you have an incurable disease, you have to take money from your family and throw it into the water. The whole thing is like beating a dog with a meat bun and never coming back. You can put it on the stall at home. Such an old man has been unlucky for eight lifetimes.

I don’t know what your father is thinking. If it were me, I would definitely dig a hole somewhere where no one can find it and wait. "Junior."

Xiao Liu was angry and cried once because of her mother-in-law's words. She didn't know how to argue. Her mother-in-law said that she didn't know how to refute, so she could only come back and cry silently. She and Dou Mr. Dou once complained sadly, but Mr. Dou's attitude also disappointed Xiaoliu.

“Oh, you know, my mother is like this, she talks nonsense, and everything she says is unintentional. Just don’t take it to your heart and don’t argue with her.

She has said it all, why don't you let her apologize to you? She is the mother-in-law and you are the daughter-in-law, so just tolerate it and let her say it. She will stop talking when she has said enough. "

Without the support of her husband and her own weak character, Xiaoliu could only endure it and not have more contact with her mother-in-law.

However, my mother-in-law has always been used to being strong, so how can she know how to be sure? She has made decisions for her son since she was a child, and his son has listened to her. Now he naturally feels that she should also be the boss of her daughter-in-law. , her daughter-in-law should also listen to her honestly and obediently. In addition to controlling her daughter-in-law's actions, she feels that it is not enough. She also wants to completely control her daughter-in-law fundamentally and make her truly obey her, that is, economically on control.

The wages of Xiaoliu and his wife have always been divided. Xiaoliu didn’t think it was a problem at first. After all, everyone should have privacy, and couples should not have to store property together. , each party is doing well. She knows that her husband’s salary card has always been kept by her mother-in-law, and she doesn’t have much reaction. She is more open-minded and feels that her husband’s money has nothing to do with her, so she thinks so. Relatively light.

But when her mother-in-law asked Xiao Liu to hand over her salary card, Xiao Liu really couldn't calm down.

"Why should I give you my card? I gave it to you, so I don’t have to live anymore?"

My mother-in-law replied matter-of-factly: "You gave it to me. I, I am keeping it for you, and I am not spending your money. Why are you so excited? If you want to use the money, I will also give you pocket money every month. Do you think I want to give you more in the future? Save some money, you are really kind and not stupid."

Originally Xiaoliu was in a calm mood, but her mother-in-law added something later.

"I'm not talking about your family, let's talk about your dad. Look, the family has been completely destroyed in one fell swoop. There is nothing left. If I don't save it for you, you will have money left over in the future. Well, I can't end up like him, walking away poor and naked, this life is so boring."

Xiao Liu was really angry now. This mother-in-law who didn't know how to respect others was really upset. She was so disgusted that she endured it again and again, but finally she couldn't bear it anymore and exploded. During the quarrel between the two, a physical conflict almost broke out.

Mr. Dou was nearby but did not help at all. When his mother was at a disadvantage, he rushed over and pushed Xiaoliu away.

"What's the matter with you? Even if my mother is wrong, do you need to be like this? Can't you just be a little more concessionary? You are the daughter-in-law, and my mother is the mother-in-law. Can you recognize your identity clearly? Are you sensible?"

Xiao Liu sneered and said, "I am not sensible. I will never be as sensible as you want in this life, so let's get a divorce!"

When her mother-in-law heard that Xiao Liu wanted a divorce, she shouted: "Okay, divorce if you can. As a divorced woman, I don't think who will want you. My son doesn't have to worry anyway, he can find a better one in a minute." Yes, just wait and cry."

Xiao Liu and Mr. Dou divorced, but Xiao Liu was not at all what her mother-in-law expected. On the contrary, it was the complete opposite.

After leaving her husband’s family, Xiaoliu immediately changed to a high-intensity job. Xiaoliu is not without ability. She graduated from a famous university and has strong professional ability. She has not forgotten to enrich herself in these years, just for the sake of her family. The jobs she looked for were low-intensity, time-free, and unskilled jobs.

Transforming into a strong woman, Xiaoliu's career is booming, and she also meets an excellent man at work. Like Xiaoliu, he has experienced a short marriage and has been deeply hurt. After learning about each other's past, they cherished each other and finally came together.

We have been together for nearly five years now, and have already given birth to different children. The family is living a happy and happy life.

However, how has Mr. Dou lived in the past five years? The big words his mother said have not come true at all. After divorcing Xiaoliu, Mr. Dou’s mother did actively arrange for her son’s marriage, but not even a single adult came to fruition. None of them, and even said that as soon as they knew it was their family, they were unwilling and didn't even give them a chance.

This is not only because Mr. Dou’s family is in poor condition and not rich, but also because, knowing the notoriety of this mother-in-law, she keeps making excuses about her deceased father and trying to control the family’s finances. Great power, who can bear this, except Mr. Dou, who has only been here for five years.

My mother-in-law was naturally very anxious. She didn’t have a grandson yet, so her son would not be able to get a wife, but there was nothing she could do about it. Mr. Dou had thought about it a lot over the years, and he regretted it more and began to blame himself more and more. mother.

Some time ago, Mr. Dou heard from somewhere that Xiaoliu was living quite well now. He also saw a photo of Xiaoliu, holding her child, clinging to her husband, with a smile as bright as a flower, which made her even more beautiful. He felt quite unhappy and complained to his mother when he got home.

After hearing her son’s accusation, Dou’s mother immediately thought of an idea: “Son, you are still thinking about her, right? Then mom will go out of her way and help you figure it out. "Xiao Liu is very easy to talk to. I went to beg her, and she was determined to be soft-hearted. After all, she has been our daughter-in-law, and she still has feelings." Immediately, the mother-in-law dialed Xiao Liu's phone number. For those who are nostalgic, my mobile phone number has not been changed in these years, but I actually asked her to dial it.

Xiao Liu didn’t know who it was at first, so she answered the phone. She wanted to hang up, but her mother-in-law talked softly, so she was too embarrassed to hang up. She could only exchange a few words with her mother-in-law, but there was no chat. After a while, my mother-in-law began to burst into tears.

"Xiao Liu, it was all your fault in the past. Mom made you suffer. Can you forgive Mom?"

Xiao Liu was also embarrassed, but she still answered politely. He said: "It's okay, I forgot about it a long time ago. Don't take it to heart, it's all over." After hearing Xiao Liu's answer, her mother-in-law immediately changed the topic: "In that case, Xiao Liu, please come back, we are still a family. Xiaoliu became even more embarrassed after hearing this: "Maybe you don't know, I have remarried a long time ago, and the children will be gone."

But her mother-in-law refused: "It doesn't matter, you can divorce me immediately and come back to me." We don’t dislike you for your son’s remarriage.”

Xiao Liu was silent for a while before answering. On the one hand, he was speechless, and on the other hand, he was even more angry. This almost commanding tone made Xiaoliu's long-lost memory begin to revive. The old lady was indeed the same as before. She had not changed at all. She was just hypocritical and submissive, so she didn't want to be polite to her anymore:

"Haha, but I despise you. You don't know how much I despise you. I don't have anything, and I still think I'm so great. Why do you want me to go back and continue to work for you? Let your son carry on the family line. "Don't be ridiculous, you two are suitable for two people. Anyway, your son is obedient and filial. There is no need for him to marry a wife, and there is no need for you to share your son's love."

After Xiao Liu finished speaking. She hung up the phone and blocked her number. She never thought about revenge or anything else, otherwise she wouldn't have waited all these years without any movement. But those words just now made her feel a kind of overwhelming happiness. It was as if a grievance had been resolved.

In fact, if you observe carefully, it is not difficult to find that many family conflicts are caused by the parties involved’s unclear definition of filial piety. Listening to their mother's words, they were indeed filial, and their intentions were good, but if they went too far, it would change the mood. At best, the family would be in trouble, and at worst, it would cause the marriage to break up and the family to be broken.

As an adult, there is no conflict between being filial and adhering to principles and being oneself. Mother is also a human being, she is not a god. She may be biased, hold a bowl of water unevenly, or make errors in judgment. Her words may not be completely correct.

Perhaps everything she does is really for your good, but due to the changes of the times and the aging of her thoughts, the results may be counterproductive and may not be beneficial to you.

So, more often than not, you should listen to your mother’s words, but only as an assistant. Life is your own, and you have to make your own decisions. The final decision can only be made by yourself.

Whether you are a man or a woman, Fang Lian hopes that you can understand this truth. No one can help you make decisions about your life, not even your parents. If you are afraid of trouble, let your parents or others help you make decisions. , don’t blame others if something goes wrong. If you want to blame, you can only blame yourself.

Having your own opinions is responsible for your life. Otherwise, it will not be others who will ruin your life, but yourself.