"Single mother, how can a person take care of the children?" The narrative of five women is bitter.

When I talked about "Seven Skills for Single Mothers to Balance" in the column "Compulsory Marriage Course: Divorce in this Way Does Not Hurt Children", I received many questions from my sisters:

Yes, some families bring a child, and parents, grandparents and grandparents go into battle together; On the other hand, single mothers have to bear the responsibility of raising their families and babies alone. It's really hard if no one comes to help.

So I would say, don't let yourself become a single mother without adequate physical preparation, material preparation and psychological preparation.

Physical preparation means that you must be healthy. Being a single mother has to bear more fatigue and running around. I can't bear such a big pressure without an iron plate.

Material preparation means that you have to have your own job and income source. You and your children need money to buy food, clothes, housing and transportation. If you meet an ex who is not responsible for alimony, you can only be helpless and desperate.

Psychological preparation means that you must have strong emotional management and psychological stress resistance. Single mother is a hard life style, 24 hours a day, every minute can not be distracted, it is easy to cause emotional collapse.

With these three foundations, even if no one comes to help, one can take good care of the baby and bite his teeth. I interviewed five single mothers who had similar experiences and asked them to talk about their own experiences.

Reasons for divorce: son preference+cheating.

My daughter/Kloc-0 divorced at the age of 0/1/2, and my father resolutely ignored alimony, so I took my children and wandered in a foreign land alone.

My parents died a long time ago, and a sister also married to a foreign country, so she had to rely on herself.

There is a private kindergarten next to the yard, and I usually meet the director once. After the divorce, I had the cheek to go to her. She looked at me piteously and agreed that I should put my children in a care class. It was delivered at 8: 30 in the morning and picked up at 5: 00 in the afternoon. The child was taken care of.

At that time, my salary was 8000 yuan per month, and the cost of kindergarten was 3000 yuan. Apart from rent, food and clothing, the rest of the money is almost moonlight.

I have no other skills, and the article is ok, so I will do it from the media. I bought a notebook, put the children to bed at night, and typed until 4 am.

But after washing your face every morning, simply putting some powder on it, sending it to the kindergarten and turning to face the sunrise is another day.

After touching the doorway, you can earn 3000 to 5000 more a month. Although it is not much, the economy has also eased a lot. The point is that I have captured many fans, mastered new skills and learned how to cut videos. /kloc-resigned after 0/year, officially entered the new media industry, and his salary doubled.

Although the children entered the park early, they were not greatly affected. I still give her enough company every day and take her to play on weekends. Because I am from the media, I also read a lot of parenting books and know how to give her a sense of security as much as possible. Therefore, I am particularly relieved at an early age.

Therefore, there is no one who can't take good care of children. The key is that he has to be patient. Get through it, get through it.

When divorced, he had a house, a bank account of less than 50 thousand, no job, and a child under 2 years old.

Solving economic problems ranks first. I found a job as a course consultant in the early education center, with a basic salary of 1.5K+ commission. Although the salary is very low, the only advantage is that children are allowed to go to work. After all, there is no shortage of children in early education centers.

I rented out the big house at a monthly rent of 4500 yuan, and rented a small apartment of 1 000 yuan next to my unit. The remaining 3,500 yuan will be the couple's food expenses for one month.

Here, I am the most diligent and active one. I read many books on sales, psychology and communication, studied various parenting theories, practiced eloquence in front of the mirror, and met parents with children in the street after work. Colleagues laughed at me for not engaging in pyramid schemes, which was really a waste.

They don't know that every penny is important for a single mother who doesn't talk.

When I tried my best, I made 200,000 yuan a month, and the commission was over 1 1,000 yuan. After receiving my salary, I bought my daughter a princess dress that she had been dreaming of for a long time.

Daughters often watch students attend classes with great interest through the classroom door. As a mother, I can't afford to enroll my children in such expensive classes, but I think I set an example for my efforts, which is the best education for my daughter.

Many times, it is not difficult to say how difficult it is to be a single mother.

If you really find yourself in a desperate situation, you must make every effort to survive. You can't say that you can't do it without hard work.

I was divorced and left home clean, with no savings, no job, no support, only one child and all my strength. It's been a long time at home, so it's impossible to help me with my baby.

I found the cheapest humble abode and got a job as a shop assistant in a nearby clothing store. In order to survive, I never want to be lazy, unload goods, stock up, sell shopping guides, and I rush to do everything. Sometimes when the business in the store is good, I will take the initiative to work overtime and order late into the night. I am so busy that the baby rolls around in the clothes and sleeps. After work, I took the sleeping baby home, so tired that my skeleton was falling apart.

So after two years, the doll will go to kindergarten, and no one will pick it up, so I can only ask the sisters in the neighboring shop. It can only be said that this society is a good person, although it is indispensable to prevent people. Knowing more good people and helping each other can solve many problems.

In recent years, I have cried and been tired, but I have never regretted it. I am tired and bitter. Watching the doll grow up disease-free and disaster-free, and watching the savings increase day by day, I feel worthwhile in my heart. I believe that life is always getting better and better.

As a working single mother of an 8-year-old daughter, I arrange the schedule of each working day like this:

Get up at 6: 00, wash and make a simple breakfast (usually boiled eggs with noodles). Listen to online classes while cooking to recharge yourself.

Wake up the children at 6: 40, and after washing, they go to the balcony to do exercises and dance together.

Eat at seven. I'll comb her hair after eating.

Pack up and go out at 7: 20.

Send my daughter to school at half past seven.

From 7: 40 to 8: 30, I go home, wash clothes, wash dishes, sweep the floor, clean the house, lick myself and go out to work. The same is listening to online classes while charging.

I go to work from 9: 00- 18: 00, and I find time to make dinner ingredients in buy buy.

Pick up my daughter from the custody class.

/kloc-cook dinner, chat, wash dishes and mop the floor with my daughter at 0/9: 00.

Check homework at 20: 30, hand it over to the teacher in the group, read books and so on.

2 1: 30 bedtime story after bathing, turn off the lights and go to bed.

Finish the remaining work at 23: 00, keep a diary, do yoga, brush your mobile phone to relax and go to bed.

Never find it difficult to raise children alone. The difficulty is not taking care of the children alone, but managing the time well. Among them, I know what is important and how to do it. I have to spend freely.

Single mothers in the workplace take care of their children alone, and it is more difficult to pick up their children from school, so they find a custody class. The charge I'm looking for is a little more expensive, more than 1 thousand per month, but it's better managed and good for children.

According to sunny, children need a rhythmic life most. I can't give my child the most expensive and luxurious one, so I will give her the most stable and safe one. The key is that single mothers should also get through their own psychology, don't be impatient, life is always flowing.

My daughter was only a few months old when I divorced. I was born in the countryside, and my parents are very traditional and feudal. They think that women's divorce is shameful, and I am not allowed to go home. So there is no family support and no financial help.

But I am a hardworking and unyielding character. I am not as knowledgeable and capable as others, but I know that women should be responsible for themselves and strive for it by themselves in the future, so I have been working hard and studying, getting my diploma and taking exams.

My daughter stayed with me until I was two years old. After two years old, I gave her a kindergarten trusteeship class. My boss and colleagues understand my difficulties very well, and I thank my boss for his understanding. I have made more efforts than others.

I still rent a house, and life is actually very embarrassing. After paying the rent and tuition, there is not much left. I can't afford to buy gifts, new clothes and toys for my daughter. I can only give her love with my mouth, accompany her, kiss her, hug her, make up stories and play games with her every day.

Colleagues often give me children's clothes and toys and take my daughter to the park to play. My daughter works the night shift, and sometimes it's too late to pick me up. Her classmate's grandmother will pick me up and sometimes play with her. Because life is hard, I am grateful for every kindness I meet, and there is no return. I usually hook a small shirt to make some pickles and give them good ones.

I told my daughter that my mother will only give you two gifts in this life, one is hard work and the other is gratitude. Learn these two points, and your life will not be in vain.

I am full of hope for tomorrow, and I believe that my daughter and I can live a better life through our own efforts. May all single mothers in the world be healthy and successful.

In my column, I talked about seven skills for single mothers to be balanced and considerate:

Among them, establishing your own support network is an important part.

The most important task of single parents is to build a safety net for themselves and their children. This safety net can provide you with a resource system that you can rely on and support.

Network resources include:

Besides, there are other single parents looking for the same situation to help each other.

For parents, helping to take care of their children is of course the safest way. Without the help of parents, what is missing is only a link in this network, not no substitute.

In the above example, single mothers have found resources to support the establishment of their own networks-possibly colleagues, neighbors or friends they usually make.

As long as you make good use of these resources, you can greatly ease the pressure of taking care of your baby.

The essence of human beings is the sum of all social relations, and the relationship network is the embodiment of a person's value. No matter what situation you are in, you should consider building a network around yourself-at work and in life. What contacts can do: give you help, advice, skills and so on. Just as you are studying and reading this column, it is actually a personal relationship for you, because it can provide value for your current life.

Friends who can participate in the study of the sunshine column are all outstanding parents with determination, confidence and ability to overcome the current predicament. I hope you all have this open and full mind, and you can absorb more positive forces to build your future life.

Fortunately, children will follow your example and learn to face difficulties bravely, firmly and indefatigably.

Teacher Sunny's column "Compulsory Marriage Course: Divorce in this way without hurting children" is constantly updated, so that you can have a more transparent marriage and grasp the parenting education under the marital crisis. Please pay attention to the column for more details.