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Why don't most men be door-to-door sons-in-law?

In the northeast, the so-called door-to-door son-in-law is essentially different from the south.

Northeast door-to-door son-in-law refers to a family that takes care of many women, and the child's surname still belongs to the man.

Men's position in the family is no different. Under normal circumstances, the man is still the head of the family, and the right to speak in the family is at least equal.

The door-to-door son-in-law in Northeast China is more of a title, indicating that the woman's parents have no sons, and the son-in-law is very kind, and more assumes the role of the son of her parents-in-law.

In Sanpaijun's view, the son-in-law in the south is very different from the son-in-law in the northeast. Perhaps in the south, there is a deep-rooted traditional clan concept.

At this point, the northeast region, which is dominated by immigrants, is much more enlightened and open. It is not geographical discrimination, but an objective explanation.

Share the story of a door-to-door son-in-law with you!

More than 30 years old and not married, my parents in my hometown are anxious. They introduced me one after another in my hometown, but I simply couldn't bear to go back. It is difficult for me to let go of my life in the city of the provincial capital, where life is convenient, resources are abundant and opportunities are abundant.

I have lived here for more than ten years since I went to college, and I have deep feelings for this city. Although I don't have a car or a house here and my income is not high, I still like it here and feel I have the energy to live here. Of course, it will be comfortable to go back to my hometown, but I can't adapt to an overly comfortable life.

Later, under the introduction of a friend, I met a girl in this city. This girl and I are very angry and have a good relationship. After a period of contact, we decided to have sex. She is my wife now. My wife is one year younger than me. When I first met her, she was already an "older woman". When I was in love, my wife and family were very kind to me and told me not to have pressure. They have a wedding room or something.

At that time, I felt very lucky and met a good woman with a good family. At that time, I really did everything at my wife's house and regarded myself as a member of their family. As long as I go to their house, I basically do the housework. I always help my wife and parents without saying anything. My wife is an only child, and my parents-in-law always told people at that time that I was their son.

I always thought that such happiness could last forever. Unexpectedly, just as we were preparing to get married, things slowly began to change.

When discussing the marriage, my wife's parents said that we would live with them in the future anyway, and they prepared the house for us in the future. They have such a daughter, I might as well be a "door-to-door son-in-law". I was a little surprised to hear them say this at first, and I don't know why they think so. As soon as they saw my hesitation, they said that "son-in-law" was just an expression and would not affect our lives.

I didn't think so much, so I agreed.

Now, six years later, I, the door-to-door son-in-law, can be said to have been living in "hot water", which is really a bitter tear!

Let me start with my wife's wedding. I don't care that our wedding was held here. Their wife is the only child in their family, so it is understandable that their parents-in-law want to hold a wedding. But most of them invited their relatives and friends, and hardly mentioned our family.

When my son got married, my parents came to the wedding in high spirits, and there were some relatives in my hometown. When I get married, I definitely hope my parents will come to the wedding. As for my relatives in my hometown, I am not so persistent. We can invite them back to my hometown in the future. But my parents-in-law didn't want my parents to come over and said they were too busy to greet them. My wife listens to her parents and doesn't help me.

I insisted that my parents come over and booked the hotel early.

At the wedding, my parents-in-law arranged my parents in a small room, and the guest table was full of their relatives and friends. After the wedding host introduced both parents to change their minds, my parents-in-law left my parents out and ignored them. And throughout the wedding, my mother-in-law told all the guests that I was "married" to their home. Especially for colleagues and friends, my mother-in-law has always said that I am really lucky to "marry" to their home, and I don't have to buy a house or anything.

The wedding should be the happiest moment in my life, but my wedding didn't give me that feeling.

After marriage, I began to decorate the wedding room and temporarily lived with my parents-in-law. I don't know why I was treated as my son's in-laws before marriage, but not as my family after marriage. Every day when they come home from work, all three of them are talking and laughing. Apart from my wife asking me "Are you tired" and "What do you want to eat", there are basically no topics I can participate in.

Many times I always feel that I am not from this family. But at that time, I thought, when our house is decorated and we move out, it will be different, and then I will have a home that really belongs to me.

But I was wrong. When we moved there, my parents-in-law naturally asked for a set of keys. Because they are close, they go there almost every day. My mother-in-law has to take care of our furniture and even what we eat.

When husband and wife live together, it is inevitable that there will be contradictions. Parents-in-law always help relatives rather than help them. My wife and I are quarrelling, and my mother-in-law will definitely scold me, and the words are particularly ugly. For example, you are a foreigner, live in our house, and bully my daughter. You think you're embarrassed ... that's basically it. It makes me feel bad.

I also communicated with my wife and asked her to tell her mother-in-law not to interfere too much in our lives. My wife didn't take it seriously, saying they were doing it for our own good. I said too much, and she said, "You should take this little thing to heart!" "It seems that I haggle over every ounce, so I have to keep silent.

My monthly salary bonus adds up to about 8,000 yuan, which is not much, but it is also a lot, but I only have 500 yuan for transportation and telephone calls every month. My wife said that she needed money to save and buy a car to support her children. It's nothing, but since I'm not without contribution to this family, don't make it sound like I eat and drink for nothing all day! My wife always says, "You care about the elderly, let her talk about it!" She can't understand my feelings.

How can a man not eat and drink with his colleagues and friends? At this time, I have to "apply for funds" with my wife in advance. As long as my mother-in-law knows, this "fund" will definitely not apply. Gradually, colleagues and friends also know my situation. I'm embarrassed that I'm never allowed to pay for dinner together or buy it with money.

When giving birth to a child, the parents-in-law insisted that the child take their surname. Originally, my wife and I didn't care so much about whose surname the children took, but my parents strongly disagreed, saying how their grandchildren could take other people's surnames. In this way, my parents-in-law and my parents refused to bow. I know my parents must be the last to give in, otherwise our life would be impossible.

Because the child took his wife's surname, my parents ignored me for more than a year, and they didn't talk to me until we took the child back to my hometown. Later, my parents wanted to come and live for a while, mainly for the children, but their mother-in-law opposed it. She said that children should form good living habits. My parents have been in their hometown in the countryside. "How can I rest assured that they bring children?"

Sometimes I really regret my original decision and shouldn't be such a so-called "door-to-door son-in-law", but now that my child is four years old, it's hard to say I regret it. ...

Because in the woman's home, no matter how capable and promising you are, you have to listen to the arrangement and command of her parents. It is difficult to implement your own good ideas. Generally, all things are decided by the original members of the woman, and you rarely have the right to participate. I am also a door-to-door son-in-law. Although my father-in-law was poor at that time, my mother-in-law died before my wife and I talked about the object, and I earned the business at home bit by bit, but my father-in-law was still very strong. My son is named after me, but he must be called grandpa. The size of the family is basically determined by their father and daughter. I just want to make money, and I will get used to it after a long time. The most important thing is that starting a business is particularly difficult. After entering a new environment, you should re-establish a new network of friends and friends. When you are in trouble, can your childhood playmates, children and classmates help you? Can only rely on their own accumulation bit by bit. Another point is that men have strong self-esteem, and others are particularly upset when they talk about their family identity and status.

My father is a son-in-law. Although he can't face it, my grandmother gave birth to five sons. At that time, she was poor and my grandmother was heartless. Her sons have no daughter-in-law except the eldest child. My mother's family conditions were not good, and my uncle was ill, so my mother called my father. My grandparents are kind people, and they also have two sons. Not long after the eldest son was born, he was adopted by my grandfather's sister at the age of two and gave her a pension. The reason is that grandparents say they are still young and can have their own children. After my dad came, my grandparents loved him very much and never said anything bad. My mother and my father haven't fought for so many years, but at most they have quarreled.

My dad, in my mind, is like the son of this family. My grandparents didn't look down on him, and neither did my mother. I always felt that my dad was wronged in my home, and I always wanted to give my dad a son. Unfortunately, all three children are daughters, and my parents' grandparents are very kind, and there are many incongruities. What is shameful? How many bachelors are married and have children? This is the life a man should live. You must live with your heart.

Before my grandparents finally died and became seriously ill, my father waited at the bedside. They didn't need my mother. My mother always disagrees with them. In fact, real mother and daughter live together, and there are many things. But they always feel sorry for my dad. Trust. The door-to-door son-in-law is really forced by life.

Nowadays, young people really don't suffer, they can't afford a house, they have no money, and they don't want to put up with it when they come to the door. Do you think it's good to let yourself be moved by light? Don't come to the door if you can. If you have the ability. Don't regret those who can't come to the door. Since you choose a son-in-law, don't care about these. A door-to-door son-in-law is better than being single.

The traditional custom in China is that men are the masters outside and women are the masters inside. The so-called marriage between a man and a woman means that the woman must marry into the man's house. The man himself imported a large population, while the woman's family had a small population. This is also the main reason for son preference.

When a man marries a daughter-in-law, he gets a wife and becomes a family. After having a child, his surname also belongs to the man. From this perspective, men are inherently masculine.

However, once a son-in-law is recruited, the meaning is completely different. According to custom, this man can't carry on the family line at all, because the child's surname should undoubtedly belong to the woman. Parents who manage women should be called grandparents, while parents who manage themselves should be called grandparents.

A seemingly simple surname is actually not simple. Just like whose name is written on your real estate license. Although the houses live together, there is a big difference between who is in charge and whose name.

Therefore, once a man is recruited as a son-in-law, it is the same as a daughter-in-law doing filial piety in front of her in-laws. Of course, one thing is good, that is, everything before was completely prepared by the man. A woman should have everything, from house and furniture to electrical appliances.

However, no matter how good the economic conditions are, if the man's family has only one child, no one wants to be a son-in-law, because it has been a custom left by China for thousands of years to raise children for old age.

Let me tell a true story of my friend! Jiangxi people, a son-in-law, work harder than dogs and eat more pitifully than cats! Ten years later, he gave birth to two children and built a villa on the fourth floor. 20 13 years, he got cancer. His wife's family asked him to go back to Jiangxi for illness and forced him to go. The poor man returned to Jiangxi with tears in his eyes, and he couldn't work for two months. On his deathbed, he asked his wife to take the children to see him for the last time, but her family strongly disagreed. His eyes didn't close when he died! Single is not as good as a door-to-door son-in-law, because once a door-to-door son-in-law, she is inferior as soon as she steps into the door!

I come from Guangxi. I have been in Dongguan for more than ten years. I married a local girl with a two-year-old child.

When I got married, my wife said that I must stay at her house when I got married. At that time, I thought it didn't matter if my brother-in-law was still studying. He could stay for a few years. In the early years, my wife discussed moving out for a house, and only when she had a house did she feel safe and belong. At that time, my wife was in charge of finance and said she didn't want to buy a house. Later, I discussed it with my parents-in-law and refused. My parents-in-law are parents, and they will be filial all their lives, as long as something is on call. My wife got angry and quarreled. I am angry and really want to be alone. I am afraid that the old man will know that he is worried about going home at night, and he will barely smile when he sees his family. You must get home before ten o'clock in the evening, or your mother-in-law will call. Too many things in life limit a person's freedom to live. Once, my wife quarreled with me for a big event, saying that divorce threatened me to accommodate. At that time, I was very angry and scolded my wife: I will shoot you to death if you divorce again. After arguing for so long, I said I really don't want to call your parents for divorce. I'm sorry. What? I will go to the Civil Affairs Bureau tomorrow. Now my wife is afraid. Afterwards, I told my wife that men should also have the freedom to respect themselves, and everything should be limited. Ask for instructions when spending some money to eat with friends, and how to earn money to support the family every day. After chatting for a long time, I made my grievances and thoughts clear, and my wife gave me economic power.

Now everyone is relaxed and friends have nothing to get together with.

The family is going to buy some side dishes that they usually like to eat, and it feels very relaxed to have a drink with my father-in-law. Actually, I don't think it matters if I can't get on the door. If I get married, I will have a good life in my small family, which will be very relaxed and without too many constraints.

The life of the son-in-law is three words: hard work! Although some door-to-door sons-in-law have a good life, most of them are not satisfied.

There are too many examples around me. One of my former colleagues is a single-parent family, living in poverty, in his twenties, and no one has introduced him. In his hometown, boys in their twenties are married, and some are so advanced that even children can play soy sauce.

I don't know whether it is his own idea or the matchmaking between relatives and neighbors at home. In the end, he married a woman with good conditions. But this woman is a few years older than her colleagues, shorter, fatter and average-looking.

I heard it was good at first. Go out to play together, the job has changed. I work in the woman's father's unit and rest on holidays. It looks very harmonious. Half a year has passed, and I have never seen his happy face again. On the contrary, he seems to have something on his mind and looks sad. Later, I learned that I often suffer indignities at home, and the woman always makes him do this and that. If she doesn't do it, she will attack and even beat and scold. He resisted several times, but he was tamed by his father-in-law.

There must be more such things around you. Some outsiders only see appearances when they visit their son-in-law. After all, they live under the same roof, and only they really know the joys and sorrows.

Most of the families that have hired son-in-law are in good conditions, and even some rich families who have worked hard dare not give their possessions to outsiders easily.

However, there are also some reasonable families who treat their son-in-law as their own daughter. Presumably they also know that it is the daughter and son-in-law who care about each other and live. They are relieved when they are well. But how many parents can think so?

This social environment is like this. You are very capable, and I think highly of you. If you are incapable, I won't look at you.

Therefore, the life of the son-in-law who comes to the door is mostly difficult. It's no use talking more, but do more. But if you choose to be a door-to-door son-in-law, you must have a platform and work hard. Only your own skills, no one can despise you!

Door-to-door son-in-law, to put it bluntly, is that men go to women's houses to live. This depends on how it breaks. The man went to the woman's house, mother-in-law and father. They slowly let the son-in-law participate in family affairs and let the son-in-law be the master. This son-in-law will probably stay. If his son-in-law comes to the door, his mother-in-law and father. My son-in-law can't run far all day, even if he doesn't run, life is in dire straits. In a village in southern Henan, 14 family, there was no boy at the age of two. They all have sons-in-law, and some couples are still very United and live a sweet life. Some people are unhappy and stumbling; Some throw plates and bowls all day; Some ran away soon after they came, and some gave birth to children and divorced. Husband and wife are United, that is, doing small business, busy every day, making money, and the days are booming. Of course! Some families are poor and want to change their destiny if they can't get married. It is also very troublesome to get on well with their mother-in-law's family. A large part of quarreling all day is that the woman's parents are involved in the contradiction between husband and wife. Who knows, the more they help, the more busy they are. Of course, lazy people can't live at home, let alone go to a strange place.

China, a patriarchal society, has been popular for many years and is used to seeing women get married. It is rare for men to get married and become door-to-door sons-in-law. In the big environment, people's hearts think that men should marry daughters-in-law, and only those men with poor family, poor diplomacy and low ability will come to the door to be sons-in-law.

As we all know, people's thoughts in the new society and country are also advancing with the times. Of course, there are some old ideas that exclude son-in-law from the right to stay at home. Nowadays, more and more people want to get married just because they are afraid of loneliness when they are old, and they just hope to entertain their grandchildren and enjoy the sweetness of family happiness when they are old.

I believe that there are many childless families today, more like us, who will not choose to leave their daughters at home or give up their happiness for their old age. I only hope that my daughter can find a bosom lover who will know each other and cherish each other for life in this rolling world of mortals. For me, the son-in-law who comes to the door is just a distance. People who are kind to you can melt you with warm words, even if they are separated by the ends of the earth. And the old us, don't we need these?

Those who have the ability and ideas to recruit son-in-law are local tyrants with certain financial resources and no sons. Girls who grew up in such a family generally have no independent opinions, independent thoughts and independent viability. Their elders are stronger, and girls have a lower status in the family. When her man was despised and bullied by his parents, as a hostess, she dared not go against her parents to safeguard her man's interests. A man living in such a family is a failure in his life. In short, when the economy is independent, the personality can be independent, and men can have a sense of accomplishment and happiness in their hearts.