Humorous copy

1. Four characteristics of literary youth: having musical dreams since childhood, quitting to open a coffee shop, changing the world's entrepreneurship, and staying 1 to travel!

It is said that on New Year's Day, let your wife kneel at the door to help you carry your shoes. Good luck will come all year round, because if you don't want to live, you can try!

3. Walking on the road with my husband, fighting, getting angry and calling names. When the first two men turned around, I pretended to be an innocent girl. Husband said, "Don't pretend, they didn't look at you, just to see which man is so timid."

4. Advertisement on the subway: Is it crowded? Buy a car! Advertisements in taxis: Are they blocked? Take the subway! Are you kidding?

5. "To judge whether the air quality is good or not, you can lick your nose. Black indicates that the air quality is not good." "What about the red one?" "You are amazing!"

One day, the pig gave the donkey a difficult problem and asked which of the two bugs under the word "stupid" was male and which was female. The donkey racked his brains, but he still couldn't answer. Pig scolds: You are such an ass, man left and woman right!

7. "What is the use of a divorce certificate?" "There will be a certificate. No matter when applying or interviewing, you can always bring yourself a little confidence and confidence!

A friend, whose husband is a lawyer, specializes in divorce proceedings. Q: "Husband, don't engage in divorce proceedings in the future. Breaking up the family is a bit immoral. " Husband: "Split a pair and make two pairs, accumulate virtue and do good deeds."

After dinner yesterday, my husband watched TV in the back room. I was washing dishes, and one of the bowls cracked. I didn't pay attention, so I scratched my hand at once. I raised my bleeding finger and went into the back room to show it to my husband. The goods looked at it, looking for a band-aid and muttering, "What's the matter, isn't the detergent used harmless?"

Husband: The doctor said I have arthritis! Wife: Did you ask how it was caused? Husband: Don't ask? You make me kneel on the washboard every day!

I like listening to apples very much recently. In the company, when I went to the bathroom to smoke, the music of Apple suddenly started and I couldn't help jumping up. After about 30 seconds, the weak one behind said, buddy, have you finished dancing? I can answer the phone after dancing. ...

12. My girlfriend said she wanted to lose weight and asked me to supervise. On the first day, I made braised pork ribs. The next day, I cooked chicken stew. On the third day, I cooked braised fish. Today, I bought a big crab. Finally, my girlfriend beat me up and began to gobble up. Just kidding, lose weight. If you lose weight, your seven brothers can leave me alone. ...

13. My mother hasn't nagged me since I got married a few years ago. Every day, besides watching TV series, I dance square dance, and my color is obviously much better than before. This is what people often say: "Married daughter-in-law, prosperous mother"!

Fourteen. Yesterday afternoon, my husband was on a business trip. I felt empty just after he left for a while, so I sent a circle of friends and said, "Alas! My husband is gone again. " Half an hour later, my husband suddenly came back, entered the house without saying a word, looked at every room and asked me, "Who do you want to tell in your circle of friends?"

15. The wife complained to her husband: "I wake up every morning and say' sleepy'. When you are asked to do some housework, you will say' exhausted', when you cook late, you will say' starved to death', when you go to work by bus, you will say' crowded', when you are asked to take a taxi, you will say' expensive', and when you ride a bike, you will say' cold'. The husband said, "I'm bored to death!" "

After driving, you will understand a truth: you can run across the road, not because you run fast, but because all the cars coming by have stepped on the brakes.

17. My writing level has finally been recognized by the Chinese teacher. Three years ago, his evaluation of me was "moaning without illness". Three years later, I brought him my new work. After reading it, he said to me with concern, "Are you sick?"

18. A customer who runs a health center often talks about the benefits of vegetarianism in a circle of friends. Today, I invited her to dinner, and she asked me: Are you a decorator? Do you often dress up here and repair there when you come home from work? "I smiled: no, decoration is just my job. She: Yes, being a vegetarian is just my job. Big fish and big meat are my life. Why don't you just order vegetables?

19. A little girl put a perfume sample in her bag, and the lid fell off, and the car was full of fragrance. The little girl began to wipe the bag with paper towels, and everyone began to see jokes. Suddenly, the uncle sitting next to the little girl changed his face and pointed to the little girl and said, "You, you, you, how can you let people go home?"

20. My wife and I were classmates from primary school to university. She is very good at history. She can clearly remember when and what happened and get full marks in every exam. In our 10 years of marriage, she gave full play to this specialty. Whenever she criticizes me, she will dig out everything I have done wrong since primary school.

Twenty one. I went shopping with my husband that day and passed a fashion shop. When I saw the clothes inside, I immediately had a desire to buy. I said to my husband, "The clothes in this room are really nice. Let's go in and have a look. " Husband: "What are you going to visit? The clothes in this shop are super expensive. Do you have money? " I don't have much money in my wallet, so I said, "No need." Husband: "Let's go, go in and have a look."

Twenty-two A young couple, the husband said, "Dear, when I go out to work, you should say goodbye to my husband. When I get home from work, you should say that my courtier met my husband and wish him a happy life!" The wife disdainfully said, "You should be beautiful and let me kneel and pay my respects every day. How are you going to repay me? " My husband frowned and thought for a long time, then said solemnly, "I promise I will only turn over your brand in the future."

23. A beautiful little sister runs an animal clinic in the community. My brother and I couldn't help walking over: Is this for treating animals? She smiled and replied: Well, yes! So my buddy lay directly on the bed: then check for me, I'm Cheng! I followed him and lay beside him: please check it for me, too. I'm single dog!

My wife cooked mutton to show me the fire, and she went to do her hair. Later, my aunt came, and I will take her to play games. I smell a burning smell, and I haven't had time to turn off the fire. I said anxiously, "Your sister has been doing this for a long time, and she will be furious when she comes back. What should we do? " Sister-in-law said, "What shall we do? I have never been here. " And left.