Why do people always want your life to be bad, especially their relatives? What kind of psychology is this?

Such people are lazy, eager for enjoyment and not enterprising. So his life is not as good as others. When you are equal to him, he thinks everyone is the same, but when you get better every day, all he has left is envy and jealousy. I have such a distant relative. I just entered the city at that time, and it was difficult to fill my stomach. Coupled with the strange eyes of others, I was stimulated. I am not afraid of hard work, hard work and self-improvement. Finally, life gave me the result I wanted. Then the relative I left behind was still standing still, so he set up all kinds of obstacles for me. I told him clearly that if I lose, you can't get it, but that doesn't stop my life from getting better every day. Come on, my friends, the effort will be rewarded.

Although it can't be completely said that today's society is "laughing at the poor and not laughing at prostitutes", it is true in real life. Many things can only be said online, which is also the truest expression of feelings. Even in front of family, it is hard to say that you are incompetent. Some people have good opportunities. At that time, they were on the right track. My sister became a teacher with a retirement salary of seven or eight thousand yuan. She always shows off her wealth in front of my wife, saying that your brother-in-law can't go out without a180 thousand bag. My wife said she was a hillbilly. Is there anyone with money now? Not all the money is in the card AliPay. In a word, she is rich, and you are not as good as her. So bite the bullet, you can't say that life is hard and you dare not fall.

I hope others are not as good as myself, which is determined by human root abuse.

"At the beginning of life, human nature is good" means to hope that people are kind and teach people to be human. However, greed, selfishness and laziness are also human nature. People are animals with mixed feelings and complicated emotions, but they have a bad side and don't want to face each other.

Others want you to have a bad life, which is interpreted in turn: others have a better life than you! You are the worst in a certain circle. Then, others in your mouth will naturally act as saviors or successful people, or they will tell you the truth plausibly, so that you can be inspired and suddenly realize; Either give financial support, let you know how to look up to him with your eyes and satisfy the psychology of a successful person like him.

As relatives, they are even more familiar with each other, knowing the root and the bottom. He has a better life than you, except that he may help you materially and spiritually, and you have given him the opportunity to satisfy his own value. You have the same circle of relatives, and you have the opportunity to expand his popularity and let his sense of superiority be known and carried forward.

In the final analysis, this is determined by human root abuse. The envy in people's bones is doomed to be more confident and satisfied than others.

It's not surprising when you look down on these things. There is always a state when people live in the world: more than enough. So there will always be people in your circle who are better than you and people who are worse than you. This is human nature.

Sometimes you have to be glad that your loved ones have such a mentality. At least, they are positive and know how to make themselves better than you. Think about it. If your relatives are inferior to you, they either borrow money or ask for help all day. Can you stand it? Instead of this, it is better to become a weak person appropriately, and the trouble will be much less!

Because you have a good life, your relatives may not have a better life than you, which makes him (her) jealous of your imbalance. This is human nature. Many people can't see that others are better off than themselves.

I hope people who have a bad life must be narrow-minded, selfish and greedy. In their eyes, there is only themselves and no one else. Such people often just want to take and don't want to pay. They are the saddest people in the world, because if a person doesn't want to pay, it means that you are poor, so such a person has nothing to pay for others. There are two levels here, one is spiritual and the other is material. The spiritual level is mainly manifested in the lack of love and sympathy for others, the inability to tolerate others or even filial piety. On the other hand, the material level is unwilling to pay for others in money or other material aspects. When I was in primary school, I heard a saying that "the saddest thing in the world is tolerance", which has always influenced me. People who like to envy others still have a problem. It is professional to always blame and blame others for finding fault with others, but they just fail to reflect on themselves and improve their habits, so such people will be finished all their lives. In fact, some people are stupid and have many basic principles in life, so they will have the habit of wrong thinking and wrong behavior, and now many people only have money and interests, but they are not kind and heartless, which is also a common phenomenon in today's society. I think such people are still very painful.

I hope everyone can live a good life, look forward and improve their moral quality. Only in this way can their lives get better and better. Thank you.

When I studied sociology in the past, the book said that society is a group and people do not exist independently. They must depend on others in the group and influence each other independently. I don't remember the exact words, which probably means that in a group, people and others are inseparable, exist alone, influence each other but repel each other.

Since we are the same group, we should have the same temperament, congenial literary talent and vulgar congeniality.

For example, if you are beautiful, more than 80% of your friends are beautiful. If you are thin, there are many thin people around you. If you are a good student, most of your friends are still good students.

Then these people who interact with you the most are the people you are familiar with, because you have the same temperament, the same experience, the same sense of existence and quality. Encounter the same thing, naturally have the same views, the same preferences, the same vision, and even the same decision.

For example, a girlfriend has a crush on the same boyfriend, which is a constant feature in soap operas for many years. For example, you, who are equally excellent, face the same opportunities for promotion. You have the same qualifications and the same threshold. Whether to fight or not, it is tacit to each other. No one is competing with each other in secret. On the surface, you have to pretend it doesn't matter.

Of course, this does not mean that people are hypocritical, or even doubt life. These are not necessarily bad things.

It is because of these familiar people that your joys and sorrows are no longer lonely and your plain life becomes colorful. When they are arguing with each other, their own qualities in all aspects are also improving. Cherish these familiar people, although sometimes it seems unsatisfactory. In retrospect, maybe you will thank the man who took love rat away. Taking away your chance gives you the courage to face difficulties, stand up and get another chance.

To sum up, why do people who are more familiar with you don't want you to live well? People with the same frequency are also core competitors to some extent. From the perspective of theft, this is also in line with the mechanism of human nature.

Of course, we understand this state, understand this phenomenon, tolerate this weakness, and cherish this fate, refine ourselves and grow into the person we expect.

This is what we should pay more attention to.

Because, when you run fast enough and widen the gap with others, others will not have such a mentality, but will become envy and worship.

The statement that "the more familiar people are, the less they want you to live well" is incorrect. In fact, it's not that they don't want you to live well, but that they don't want you to live better than them.

I think many people have experienced such a thing. When you are on the same stage with someone, you will be very good friends, and no one can separate you. But once any of you become better than you are now, you will still be a little jealous, although you don't say anything.

Psychologically speaking, this is a kind of psychology that can't hide the good feelings of others. It's normal to have this kind of psychology.

Think about it, when you choose a circle of friends, are you more willing to associate with people at your level or people who are worse than you? Because only getting along with these people who are similar to you will not make you feel uncomfortable and will not make you feel that you don't know how to integrate into this circle.

Then one day, a person standing on the same starting line with you suddenly has a better life than you, and the unbalanced seeds in your heart will suddenly take root and sprout. Because you think we are obviously the same person, even he is not as good as you, but why can he succeed and you can't?

It's like you want to buy an ipone6 mobile phone, but your conditions don't allow it. So you saved money desperately and finally bought an ipone6 mobile phone. Just when you want to share it with your friends on your mobile phone, you find that your friends don't know when you changed ipone7plus and tell you that you are tired of using the previous ipone6. At this time, you will have a great psychological gap, which is very uncomfortable.

Then put yourself in others' shoes. When you succeed, maybe people around you will have a certain psychological gap. If it's not intense, don't care too much. Because being yourself is the most important thing.

Jealousy should be human instinct. If someone you don't know is better than yourself, it may be acceptable, because it has nothing to do with yourself. And those close friends, classmates, people who have crossed paths in their lives, once they have achieved something, they are better than themselves, both economically and professionally, so jealousy arises spontaneously. Jealousy turned into jealousy. If you have the idea of catching up, you can also be the driving force to urge yourself to struggle. However, most jealousy will turn into the idea of wanting others to be bad. If it's just an idea, it's ok. It is terrible to do evil in order to solve other people's jealousy, and it is immoral to want to turn other people's good things into bad things. It is possible that the publicity of things will cause public outrage and violate the law. In this world, some people are successful, some people are frustrated, some people easily live a life rich as an enemy, and some people have worked hard and been poor all their lives. As long as you are content with the status quo, compare your own advantages with others' shortcomings, and look at the world, the surroundings and yourself with a contented mind, you will be satisfied.

As the saying goes! Some people are angry, but others are not. This is a typical jealousy. The world is everywhere, and it is more common to spread into a disease! Everyone who works in the workplace will meet this patient! Of course, relatives and friends are no exception, and this envy of heart disease is even more colorful among relatives! There is nothing in family life that is not compared with each other. This relative bought a two-bedroom apartment. The building area is not small, the geographical location is good, and the decoration style is relatively high. In short, satisfying yourself is quite tasteful! Real money costs a lot, it is widely spread among relatives, and vanity is full! Among all the relatives, this family has become the goal that every family should pursue. Everyone is afraid of being left behind, and there is a big gap, which makes relatives laugh and even look down on them. So the battle of transcendence was ignited, and another relative also bought a building. I bought a three-bedroom apartment with a large building area, and the interior decoration style is to get it. He spent a lot of money to find a decoration master to design a painting, thinking about which building to buy is better than his former relatives, no matter what. Very angry! In fact, this is really unnecessary, what are the conditions to fight! Getting along well with relatives is the truth! It is not advisable to compete with each other in work and life, and it is also quite irrational! Family is more important than anything else! Don't blindly compete with each other to hurt your family! At the same time, it is even more uneconomical! Money can't buy affection! Friendly harmony is the last word!

Trying to be better than others (usually based on material and social status) is actually in line with the evolutionary instinct of living things, which is also commonly known as the law of the jungle. Being better than others can be understood from two latitudes: 1, and get ahead through your own progress; 2. Get the ranking advantage through others' mistakes and setbacks.

Why do you feel that your relatives can't see that you are better than him? It is also because of a very simple reason: he also wants to be better than others, and "you" is naturally a member of "others". Why against you? Just because you are the easiest reference for him to compare! Because the circle of most ordinary people is actually not large, it is naturally an important or even the only goal to be better than those in the circle.

But in fact, your relatives suddenly find that you are better than him, even better and better ... When you can't surpass you in a short time through your own progress, you naturally hope to narrow the gap with him through your own mistakes and setbacks.

With this explanation, do you have a new understanding of the "shameless" of relatives? Is it easier to forgive them?

Of course, relatives can't see how you are, not because Ma Yun is 10,000 times better than you, but because you are not good enough for him! I believe that all relatives of Ma Yun will not "hide his goodness" now. ...

There is a saying that "you don't suffer from widowhood, you suffer from inequality." According to the understanding of ordinary people, it is not worrying about not having it, but worrying about the instability of life caused by uneven distribution.

As relatives, they want you to have a good life, but they don't want you to have a good life, so they can always be high above you and give you advice.

This kind of psychology is actually jealousy. Everyone comes from the same place. What will others think when you suddenly get rich for some reason and have a Spring Festival party? You are so good at mixing, and compared with yourself, you feel very absent.

So from this perspective, why do many people urge you to get married when you go home during the Spring Festival? Because for them, if you don't get married, you will be different in their eyes. Only when you are consistent with them will they feel safe and feel that there is nothing wrong with their present lifestyle.

As a person who yearns for freedom, how can he keep his true heart, insist on being himself, try to keep a low profile in the face of various questions from his relatives during the Spring Festival, and don't show off too much in front of his relatives because of his little achievements. When you are complacent, it is when they hate you the most.

what to say

Humans are social animals. When we grow up, we all live in the same society. When we grow up, we all live in the same circle.

The sense of satisfaction, happiness and superiority that we need every day is not only absolute material quality, but relative quantity.

Only when we have more than others and people around us can we find a sense of superiority and satisfaction.

As I said just now, why people in a circle can become people in the same circle is because our identity, background and thoughts are all at the same level. In other words, we are all on the same starting line, earning about the same amount of money and living about the same life. When you know someone, life is getting better and better because you earn more and more money, but you are still in the same state or making slow progress, jealousy arises. No comparison, no harm. He was like me at that time, and now he suddenly lives so much better than me. My heart is unacceptable. We all don't want to be worse than others, so we will start to hate this person and don't want him to live better than me. We also think that his achievements are coincidental and unfair, so as to comfort our imbalance.

This phenomenon is more prominent among relatives because the circle between relatives is smaller and denser, and the starting point is more similar. After the separation of the rich and the poor, the contrast is more obvious. If you were not as good as them, they wouldn't have this mentality.

People, in life, always keep up with the joneses and live in the joneses.

Now that I understand the weakness of human nature, I think we should reduce unnecessary comparisons in our later life and learn to be content. * * * Encourage!