How to learn how to speak and communicate with others

How to learn the skills to speak and communicate with others

How to learn the skills to speak and communicate with others. Communication is a science, and speaking well is what many people like very much. Learn to talk to others and make your interpersonal relationships better. Let me take a look at how to learn to talk and communicate with others. How to learn to speak and communicate with others 1

1. Speaking skills to communicate with others

1. Speak slowly when you are anxious, because it is easy to make mistakes when you are anxious , and speaking slowly can slow down your pace and give yourself time to think and adapt. At the same time, speaking slowly can give people a sense of stability and stability.

2. For big things, speak clearly about important things to avoid mistakes in the future.

3. You can talk about trivial matters in a humorous way, which often achieves good results. The trivial matters are solved, the relationship becomes closer, and it makes people feel approachable and easy to contact. There is often something in life. For people like this, if a small matter is said in one sentence, it becomes a big deal. What was originally an easy matter turns into a serious matter. This is because the communication method is wrong.

4. If you are unsure about something, say it carefully, or don’t say it at all. Remember that it is the truth that disaster comes from the mouth.

5. Don’t talk nonsense about things you can’t do. If you talk nonsense, your credit will be overdrawn. Remember the story of the wolf who cried wolf. It’s a bloody lesson. How miserable.

6. Don’t talk about things that harm others and benefit yourself, let alone things that harm others and benefit yourself. Don’t talk about it to anyone, no matter how good a friend you are, because it’s about character.

7. When you encounter something you hate, you should treat the problem rather than the person. At the same time, remember to distinguish the relationship between the two at any time. You can have different opinions on things, but don’t cross them. Once that blurred line is crossed, it offends people.

8. Don’t talk about it when you are sad. After all, everyone likes to get along with sunny and positive people. No one except family members wants to be a trash can.

9. Live in the present and talk less about the future. There is a saying that is good, if you don’t do things well, you can’t do things with your words. It means that young people always boast, which is often unrealistic. The actual things should be done first before talking about it. At the same time, even if you don't say it, it will be known to everyone.

2. How to be a good speaker

1. Don’t be self-centered

Don’t often use a commanding tone to talk to others. Everyone likes your tone. When you ask others to do something, say "please". This will make you appear educated and make others feel respected, so they will be willing to help you.

2. Listen carefully to what others are saying

Do not interrupt others. That is very impolite. Even if you have any questions, you should wait until they have finished speaking. Ask a question or question. When raising questions, be tactful and subtle and don't be too egotistical, so that others will be willing to listen.

3. Pay attention to your attitude when speaking to different people

Be more forthright when talking to extroverts to avoid hesitation and cause unnecessary misunderstandings; and introverts When speaking, pay attention to whether the other person is interested in your topic. Be tactful and reserved. It is best to start the topic with him.

3. How to get along with others and speaking skills

1. Master the balance between "giving" and "receiving"

Conversation is a two-way communication. Don't be arrogant. If one person talks endlessly, regardless of the other person's feelings, and dominates the world, one should not go to the other extreme and say nothing, causing a cold scene. The appropriate approach is to listen carefully when it is time to listen and respond to what the other party is saying, speak actively when it is time to speak, and master the timing and propriety of speaking and listening.

2. Conversation is oriented towards the other party

Focus on topics that the other party is interested in, use "you" more and less "I" in language, and call the other party's name appropriately. During the conversation, you should deliberately highlight the other party's superiority, make the other party devote themselves to the conversation and arouse excitement.

3. When conversing with more than three people, everyone should be the target of conversation

The topic should be of interest to everyone, the language should be understandable to everyone, and the eyes should take care of everyone. Don't just talk to one or two people, let alone whisper, as this is very rude to others.

4. Invitation and participation

During the conversation, if someone comes over, you should invite them to talk together. Generally, you cannot rashly participate in the conversation that others are having. If you want to participate, you must say hello first. . Men should not participate in conversations among women, let alone talk to only one woman.

5. Praise more when talking, don’t gossip, be careful about joking

Use praise language more, don’t blame the other party, praise should be serious and simple, don’t be too exaggerated and appear hypocritical. Do not say gossip that is harmful to the interests of the parties involved and become a talkative woman. Jokes should be made according to the occasion, and don't turn your jokes into teasing. You must pay attention to propriety and be careful when joking.

6. Use body language appropriately during the conversation

Sometimes in order to achieve better results, you can use body language appropriately. Body language promotes conversation. The atmosphere is more lively and lively. But don't be too exaggerated to avoid giving people a sense of instability.

7. Except for special circumstances when talking, be careful when answering the phone and set the phone ring to vibrate

When having an important conversation, it is best to set the phone ring to vibrate. Do not answer the phone midway. This is very impolite and will affect the effectiveness of the conversation. In special circumstances, you must obtain the permission of the other party and express your apology before answering. At the same time, the call time should not be too long and make others wait for too long. How to learn speaking and communication skills 2

1. The purpose, principles and skills of communication.

What is the real purpose of strengthening communication between people? Everyone has a different understanding of this point. Some people want to strengthen mutual recognition and connection through communication, and some people want to solve problems in work and life through communication to achieve the purpose of seeking common ground while reserving differences. In this case, The book mentions that communication can be purposeful or purposeless, which subverted my previous understanding.

Moreover, this book explains why communication needs to be strengthened from multiple perspectives such as physiological needs, recognition needs, social needs and practical goals.

In my personal opinion, physiological needs are the most important. If we want to avoid loneliness, we can only integrate into the group. We often envy those who are comfortable among the crowd and can talk to everyone. People feel that such people have high emotional intelligence. In fact, all people with high emotional intelligence have mastered the skills and true meaning of communication.

In real life, we have all heard this saying, saying that someone is a nice person, but has a sharp mouth. This is exactly the reaction of not being good at communication. Unfortunately, many people only think of this and It is related to personality, but it is overlooked that it is the lack of communication skills that makes people look particularly unpleasant.

There is a passage that aptly reflects the principles that should be mastered in communication:

“Don’t forget his self-esteem when communicating with an old man; don’t forget his face when communicating with a man; don’t forget his face when communicating with a woman; Don't forget her emotions; when communicating with superiors, don't forget his dignity; when communicating with young people, don't forget his directness; when communicating with children, don't forget his innocence. It varies from person to person, so you can be universally accessible. ”

In short, all communication comes from perspective-taking and emotional control.

If you only emphasize yourself in communication and forget to think from others’ perspective, this kind of communication will inevitably lead to failure. The most common situation is communication with leaders in the workplace. Many times we will feel that I feel aggrieved. Although I have worked very hard on a project, I cannot get the recognition of the leader. This is actually because there was no good communication in advance, which caused the final result to be unsatisfactory. In addition, neither the leader nor I have done empathy and only stood in the other side. Thinking about issues from one's own standpoint turns the original communication into self-talk.

"Communication between two people is 70% emotion and 30% content." It is not suitable to communicate when the emotions are not right. In that case, the result of the communication will only fall short of expectations. , there might even be a quarrel, which would have a counterproductive effect.

2. The difference between media communication and traditional face-to-face communication and its advantages and disadvantages

Media communication is different from communication in the traditional sense. Media communication refers to the use of the Internet. communicate.

Media communication is a product that emerged with the rapid development of the Internet in recent decades.

Based on my own experience, the earliest media communication was completed in chat rooms with the help of the Internet. At that time, Sohu and NetEase chat rooms were very popular, and later QQ and Weibo appeared, and then there were WeChat, and even DingTalk, which is now loved and hated, are all products used for media communication.

In the world of media communication, there are many people who are completely divorced from the rigid impressions they bring to people in real life. From this point of view, the convenience that media communication brings to people is obvious.

We can create a new self with the help of media communication. On the Internet, perhaps a person who has always been shy and taciturn in front of others becomes a talker. Through media communication, we escape reality. bring frustration and become more confident.

For example, Kevin Shoemaker mentioned in the book is a cerebral palsy patient. With the help of Facebook, a social media on the Internet, he no longer has to bear the strange eyes of others, and has made close friends, and even One of them became his roommate in college and provided him with a lot of help.

However, media communication also brings many negative impacts:

For example, online bullying, fraud, and indiscriminate attacks by keyboard warriors, etc. In real life, the people we can come into contact with are often the people around us. In order to maintain the good impression that has been formed in front of others for a long time, no one will speak rudely easily. And online media communication, as mentioned in the book, will relieve the pressure on real life. The inhibitions and constraints encountered in life make language and behavior more direct and arbitrary.

In addition, when we shape ourselves on the Internet, we can’t help but beautify it, such as posting personal photos on Meitu Xiuxiu to make ourselves look more attractive. Maybe Internet celebrities After taking off his makeup, he might be a big man who picks his feet.

Therefore, we should pay attention to two points in online communication:

First, "Don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you." According to the book, this is the "Platinum Rule" of grid communication. In my opinion, this is a universal rule in both online communication and real-life communication. Never use preaching to replace equal communication. Such communication is absolutely ineffective.

The second is to protect yourself, mainly to verify and screen information online, make correct judgments, and avoid being deceived. In addition, you should think twice when posting information online and think about whether it will have a negative impact on other people.

3. Everyone needs a "self-helper", and everyone also needs to be a self-saboteur.

The so-called self-helper actually refers to what others expect us to be in their mouths and in their eyes.

Many people know that Einstein, the author of "The Theory of Relativity", was a great physicist. However, when he was young, he was once considered to have intellectual problems. His teacher even said to his mother: : "No matter what you do, your child will accomplish nothing anyway." When the teacher judged that it was difficult to achieve academic success, he was lucky enough to meet his uncle who had a discerning eye and made him learn more and more about physics. Interested, eventually became a world-famous physicist.

Einstein

At the same time, when forming a self-concept, everyone should also pay attention to forming an independent point of view and personality, as stated in the book "Silent Confessions" : "We spend our entire lives getting rid of the expectations of others and finding our true selves."

This is one of the reasons why I like this book. It always puts forward opinions impartially and tells us how to communicate, but it will never forcefully sell its own opinions to readers. .

It is rare for a book to maintain a neutral point of view. Although it is very heavy, I am still reading it, but I can’t wait to recommend "The Art of Communication" to everyone. Of course, this book is on Douban The rating of 9.1 is also a reason why it is worth recommending, not to mention that the author Ronald himself is simply a communication expert. In addition to this book, he has also published six books related to communication.

After all, "Instead of envying other people's good luck, it is better to learn from the hard work of others." This is also one of the shortcuts to success. How to learn to speak and communicate with others 3

1. Pay attention to action language

In the communication process, action language is actually very important, such as a smile, a look, sometimes Words are worth a thousand words. If you are a companion, you can put an arm on the shoulder to express friendship, shake hands to express friendship, and sometimes actions are a good way of communication.

2. Start with the most basic human nature

We know that people are first interested in themselves, not in other things. In other words, a person pays attention to himself or herself. Pay attention to other people or other things ten thousand times. Therefore, the topic of greatest interest to them when conversing with others - is themselves. Try to use these words - "you" or "your" rather than "I", "myself, mine". Remember: Learn to get others to talk about themselves.

3. Master the art of criticism

During the conversation, if you have to criticize the other party, you must do it tactfully. Ming criticism has the following characteristics: Do not criticize in front of others. Before criticizing, you should say some kind and appreciative words, and then use transition words such as "but" to introduce the aspects of criticism, that is, use a euphemistic way. Criticize the other person’s behavior rather than their personality. Use a consultative rather than a commanding tone when criticizing others. Discuss the matter.

4. Praise each other without losing any opportunity

Tolstoy said it well: "It is in the best, friendliest, and simplest interpersonal relationships. In relationships, praise and praise are also necessary, just as smoothness is necessary for the wheel to make it spin faster. "Using psychological agreeableness, if you want to have good interpersonal relationships, you must learn to praise others at every opportunity. Of course, praise must come from the heart. At the same time, you should pay attention to praising his specific behaviors and changes, rather than praising this person in general.

5. You should learn to chat

If you are not good at talking, most of them don’t know how to seize the opportunity to talk. Psychologist James said: "When talking with people, if you can relax your mind, be casual, have no worries, and say whatever comes to mind, then the conversation will be quite lively and the atmosphere will be quite active. "With the attitude of "it doesn't matter if you don't speak well", it is possible to say interesting and witty words according to your actual level. Therefore, chatting does not require intelligence, as long as it is enjoyable.