Man in the mirror and other methods make children willing to communicate.

On November 22nd, 219, Li Huihui shared the 429th day: Excerpted from Inspiring Children's Intrinsic Motivation and Making Children Love Learning [America] Deborah Stipek [America] Cathy Hill? Writing

? Man in the mirror means to listen carefully to the child, truthfully restate his thoughts and feelings, and repeat what he said intact or with similar words. Here is an example:

Mom: How was school today?

Julie (with tears in her eyes): It's too bad that I failed in the math exam.

mom: failed the exam?

Julie: Yes, I got it all wrong when I borrowed a seat from my previous one.

mom: oh, you're confused.

Julie: I mean, I thought I knew how to borrow a seat, but the questions on the test paper are different from those in the homework.

mom: I see, you will when you do your homework, but not when you take the exam?

by repeating Julie's words, her mother made her feel that she was understood and then recovered. There are other ways to encourage your child to share with you. For example, if your child is passionate, share his enthusiasm and respond: "Great." If something bad happens, respond: "Oh, what a shame."

? If he stops in the middle of the story, ask him, "Then what?" Or "What did he say later?" You can also share your experiences with your children and talk about your feelings.

beware of some common words that lead to the termination of the conversation:? Jump out of your own feelings without thinking: "I don't think I can stand any more disasters today." (sometimes blindfolded)

Something like "I told you so": "Look, you always put off doing your homework until the last minute, and that's the consequence. I warned you that you would fail."

? Try to force children to think in a certain way: "You must realize that reading is the most important subject."

? Make an idea on one's own: "If I were you, I would do my math homework first, because math is the easiest for you." "If you prepare a little more in advance, you are sure to do well in the exam."

you don't need to agree with everything your child tells you. Many people who want to establish a good personal relationship with their children think that the most important thing is to say something nice, or praise or comfort their children. "Richard Laing said," But this is not the key issue. The key is to let them feel that you are interested in them and understand them from their perspective. " Your understanding can relax children and make them more willing to communicate with you.

? We can encourage our children to cultivate hobbies different from ours to guide them to communicate with us, and ask them modestly about what they are good at, such as patiently listening to them describe to you what models they have made, which countries' coins they have collected, and what materials they have consulted. In this way, we can understand children's preferences, provide them with opportunities to explain their views or describe methods, and cultivate them to chat with us in a relaxed and happy state.