Does anyone have the original text of "Morning Blossoms Plucked at Dusk" (all)

Xiaoyin

I often want to find a little peace among the chaos, but it is not easy. It's so bizarre right now, and my heart is so confused. When a person has only memories left, life may be considered boring, but sometimes there are no memories at all. China's affairs are regulated, and world affairs are still in a spiral. When I left Sun Yat-sen University a few days ago, I remembered leaving Xiamen University four months ago. When I heard the planes blaring overhead, I actually remembered the planes that circled Beijing every day a year ago. I also wrote a short article at that time called "A Sleep". Now, even this "sleep" is gone.

The weather in Guangzhou gets really hot early, and the setting sun shines in from the west window, forcing people to wear only a single piece of clothing. The pot of "water branches" on the desk is something I have never seen before: it is just a section of a tree. As long as it is immersed in water, the branches and leaves will become green and lovely. Looking at the green leaves, editing old drafts, and finally doing something. Doing this kind of thing is really as good as the age of death even though you are alive, and it can drive away the heat.

The day before yesterday, "Weeds" had been compiled; this time it was the turn of "Revisiting Old Things" that was successively published in "Wangyuan". I also changed the title for him: "Morning Flowers and Evenings" pickup". It would be much better to fold the flowers with the dew on them, but I can't. Even the weird and messy things in my mind now, I still can't turn them into weird and messy articles immediately. Or, when I look up at the flowing clouds, they will flash before my eyes.

For a while, I repeatedly recalled the fruits and vegetables I ate in my hometown when I was a child: water chestnuts, monk beans, wild rice, and cantaloupe. All of these are extremely delicious; they all once tempted me to feel homesick. Later, I tasted it after a long absence, but it was nothing more than that; only in my memory, the old meaning remained. They may want to deceive me all my life and make me think twice.

These ten articles were copied from memory, and may be slightly different from the actual content. However, I only remember this now. The writing style is probably very messy, as it was written and discontinued over a period of nine months. The environments are also different: the first two were written under the east wall of the apartment in Beijing; the third three were written while living in exile, in a hospital and a carpenter's room; but the last five were written upstairs in the library of Xiamen University, already among scholars. After they squeezed out of the group.

On May 1, 1927, Lu Xun recorded at Baiyun Tower in Guangzhou.

Fan Ainong

In the hotel in Tokyo, we usually read newspapers together. Students mostly read the "Asahi Shimbun" and "The Yomiuri Shimbun", while those who like to inquire about trivial matters in society read the "26 Shimbun". One morning, Pitou saw a telegram from China, which was probably: -?

"The governor of Anhui, Enming, was assassinated by Jo Shiki Rin, and the assassin was captured."?

Everyone was shocked. After being stunned, they spoke to each other radiantly, and studied who the assassin was and what the Chinese characters were. But as long as you are from Shaoxing and don't specialize in reading textbooks, you have already understood it. This is Xu Xilin. After he returned from studying abroad, he was working as an alternate in Anhui Province and running patrol affairs. He was in a position to assassinate the governor. ?

Everyone then predicted that he would be executed and the family would be implicated. Soon, news came that Miss Qiu Jin had been killed in Shaoxing. Xu Xilin had his heart ripped out and eaten by Enming's soldiers. People are angry. A few people secretly held a meeting to raise funds for Sichuan. At this time, a Japanese ronin was needed. He tore up squid and drank wine. After a generous meal, he set off to pick up Xu Boxun's family. ?

As usual, there was a hometown association to mourn the martyrs and criticize Manchuria; after that, some people advocated sending a telegram to Beijing to denounce the inhumanity of the Manchu government. The congregation immediately divided into two groups: those who wanted to generate electricity and those who did not. I advocated generating electricity, but as soon as I said it, there was a dull voice:——

"Kill the dead, dead, why send a bullshit telegram?" "?

This is a tall man with long hair and more white eyes than black. He always looks at people with contempt.

He was squatting on the mat, and I usually objected when I spoke. I had already felt strange and paid attention to him, and only then did I ask others: Who said this? Is he so cold? Someone I know told me: His name is Fan Ainong, and he is a student of Xu Boxun. ?

I was very angry and felt that he was simply not a human being. My husband was killed and I was afraid of even sending a telegram, so I insisted on generating electricity and started to fight with him. As a result, the majority of those who advocated power generation gave in. Secondly, we need to recruit people to draft the telegram. ?

“Why recommend it? Naturally, the person who advocates power generation is Luo——.” He said. ?

I feel that his words are aimed at me again, which is not unreasonable. But I believe that this tragic article must be written by someone who knows the life of the martyr deeply, because he has a closer relationship with the martyr than others and has more grief and indignation in his heart, so it will be more moving when written. So they started fighting again. The result was that he didn't do it, and neither did I. I don't know who admitted it. Secondly, everyone dispersed, leaving only one drafter and one or two clerks, waiting to be published after the work was completed. ?From then on, I always felt that this Fan Ainong was bizarre and hateful. The most hateful people in the world, I thought they were the Manchus at first, but then I realized that they were the second most hateful people; the first was Fan Ainong. If China does not have a revolution, it will be nothing. If we want to revolutionize, we must first remove Fan Ainong.

However, this opinion seemed to gradually fade away and was eventually forgotten, and we never met again. Until the year before the revolution, I was working as a teacher in my hometown. It was probably in the late spring. Suddenly I saw a person in the guest seat of an acquaintance. We only looked at each other for two or three seconds, and we said at the same time:——

"Oh, you are Fan Ainong!"?

"Oh, you are Lu Xun!"?

Somehow we all laughed, it was each other of ridicule and sorrow. His eyes are still the same, but strangely, in the past few years, there are white hairs on his head, but maybe it was already there and I didn't notice it before. He was wearing a very old cloth mandarin jacket and rag shoes, and looked very shabby. Talking about his own experience, he said that he later had no tuition fees and could no longer study abroad, so he came back. After returning to his hometown, he was scorned, ostracized, and persecuted, and almost had no place to tolerate him. Now he is hiding in the countryside and teaching a few primary school students to make ends meet. But because I felt very depressed sometimes, I took advantage of the ship to come to the city. ?

He also told me that he likes to drink now, so we drank. From then on, whenever he came to the city, he would definitely visit me, and we became very familiar with him. When we were drunk, we often talked about crazy things that were so stupid that even my mother would laugh when she happened to hear it. One day, I suddenly remembered the old events of the hometown meeting in Tokyo, and asked him: -?

"That day you specifically opposed me, and it seemed to be intentional. What was the reason?"?

"You don't know yet? I have always hated you, not just me, but us."?

"Did you know who I was before that time?"?

"Why don't you know? When we arrived in Yokohama, weren't it Ziying and you who came to pick us up? You looked down on us and shook your head, do you still remember?"?

I was slightly confused. When I think about it, what I remember is that it happened seven or eight years ago. At that time, Ziying came to make an appointment with me, saying that she would go to Yokohama to pick up a new compatriot who came to study abroad. As soon as the steamer arrived, they saw a large pile, about ten people per day. As soon as they landed, they put their luggage at the customs office for inspection. The customs officer rummaged around in the suitcase and suddenly pulled out a pair of embroidered bows. When the shoes came, I put aside my official duties and took a closer look at them. I was very dissatisfied and thought to myself, why do these bird men bring this thing here? If I didn't pay attention, I might have shook my head at that time. After the inspection, you have to sit in the hotel for a while and then get on the train. Unexpectedly, this group of scholars gave up their seats on the bus again. A asked B to sit in this seat, and B asked C to sit. Before the bow was finished, the train started to move. The car body shook, and three or four people fell down immediately. I was also very dissatisfied at that time and secretly thought: Even the seats on the train must be distinguished... Maybe he shook his head again without paying attention. However, among the group of graceful and obedient people was Fan Ainong, but he didn't think of it until that day. Not only him, I am ashamed to say that among this group, there were also the martyr Chen Boping who later died in Anhui and the murdered martyr Ma Zonghan. They were imprisoned in a black prison and did not see the light of day until after the revolution, and they will always bear the torture of banditry. There are also one or two people with scars.

But I didn’t know anything, so I shook my head and shipped them to Tokyo together. Although Xu Boxun came with them on the same boat, he was not in the car because he and his wife took the car and took the overland route in Kobe. ?

I think I shook my head about twice at that time, and they didn’t know which one they saw. It was noisy when sitting and quiet when checking. It must have been the time at the customs. I asked Ainong, and it turned out to be true. ?

"I really don't understand what you are doing with this thing? Whose is it?"?

"It doesn't belong to our master's wife?" He stared at him with white eyes. ?

“You have to pretend to have big feet when you go to Tokyo, so why bring this thing with you?”?

“Who knows? Just ask her.”?

At the beginning of winter, our situation became even more difficult, but we still drank and told jokes. Suddenly came the Wuchang Uprising, and then the Shaoxing Restoration. Ainong came to town the next day, wearing a felt hat commonly used by farmers, with a smile he had never seen before. ?

"Lao Xun, we won't drink today. I'm going to see the restored Shaoxing. Let's go together." ?

We went to the street and walked around. It's a white flag. However, despite the appearance, the essence remains the same, because it is still a military government organized by a few old squires. The railway shareholder is the administrative director, and the money shop owner is the ordnance director... This military government will not last long after all. A few teenagers shouted, and Wang Jinfa led his troops from Hangzhou. But even if he didn't shout, he might still come. After he came in, he was surrounded by many idle men and new revolutionary parties, and he became the king and governor. The people in the yamen came in cloth clothes, but they had probably changed into leather robes within ten days, and the weather was not cold yet. ?

I was placed next to the job of the principal of the normal school, and Governor Wang gave me 200 yuan of school funds. Ainong, who works as a supervisor, still wears the same cloth robe, but he doesn't drink much anymore, and he rarely has time to chat. He works and teaches at the same time, and he is really diligent.

"The situation is still not good, Wang Jinfa and the others." A young man who listened to my lectures last year came to visit me and said generously, "We need to set up a newspaper to supervise them. But the sponsors have to borrow Mr. The other one is Mr. Ziying and the other is Mr. Deqing. For the sake of society, we know that you will never refuse."?

I promised him. Two days later I saw the leaflet published in the newspaper. It was true that the sponsors were three. Five days later, the newspaper appeared. It started by criticizing the military government and the people there; after that, it cursed the governor, his relatives, fellow villagers, and concubines... ?

After more than ten days of scolding, a news came to my home, saying that the governor was scolded because you had defrauded him of his money, and that he was going to be shot to death with a pistol. You guys. ?

It didn’t matter to others. The first one who was anxious was my mother, who told me not to go out again. But I left as usual and explained that Wang Jinfa was not here to beat us to death. Although he was from Green Forest University, he was not very easy to kill. Besides, I am getting money from the school. He can still understand this, but it is just a talk. ?

As expected, he didn’t come to kill. I wrote to ask for funds and withdrew another two hundred yuan. But he seemed to be a little angry, and at the same time he issued an order: Ask for it again, no more! ? But Ainong got a new piece of news, which made me very embarrassed. It turns out that the so-called "fraud" did not refer to school funds, but to a sum of money given to the newspaper. After a few days of scolding in the newspapers, Wang Jinfa asked someone to send 500 yuan. So our teenagers held a meeting, and the first question was: Should we accept it or not? The decision said: Accept it. The second question is: Do you want to scold me after you accept it? Resolution: scold. The reason is: after receiving the money, he is a shareholder; if the shareholder is not good, he will naturally be scolded. ?

I immediately went to the newspaper office to ask whether this was true or not. It's all true. After a few words about not accepting his money, an accountant became unhappy and asked me: -?

"Why doesn't the newspaper accept the equity?"?

"This is not share capital..."?

"What is it if it is not share capital?"?

I won't go on. The world knows this for a long time. If I say it again If he doesn't harm us, he will accuse me of being too precious about my worthless life and unwilling to sacrifice for society, or he will read in the newspaper tomorrow the record of how I tremble in fear of death.

?

However, it happened that Jifu wrote a letter urging me to go to Nanjing. Ainong also agreed, but he was quite sad and said: -

"It's like that here again. It's uninhabitable. You should go quickly..."?

I understand his silence If so, I am determined to go to Nanjing. I first went to the Governor's Mansion to resign, which was approved naturally, and a snotty receptionist was sent. I handed over the accounts and the remaining balance of one dime and two copper dollars. I was no longer the principal. The successor was Fu Lichen, president of the Confucian Church.

The newspaper case was settled two or three weeks after I arrived in Nanjing, and was destroyed by a group of soldiers. Ziying was in the countryside and had nothing to do; Deqing happened to be in the city and was stabbed in the thigh with a sharp knife. He was furious. Naturally, this was quite painful, and he couldn't blame him. After being furious, he took off his clothes and took a photo to show the one-inch-wide stab wound. He also wrote an article describing the situation and distributed it everywhere to publicize the tyranny of the military government. I think there may not be anyone who still collects this kind of photo. The size is too small, and the stab wounds have been reduced to almost nothing. If there is no explanation, people who see it will definitely think that it is a nude photo of a crazy romantic person. If you meet Commander Sun Chuanfang, you might be banned.

When I moved from Nanjing to Beijing, the school superintendent of Ainong was also managed to get rid of the principal of the Confucius Church. He became a peasant again before the revolution. I wanted to find something small for him to do in Beijing, which he really wanted, but there was no chance. Later, he went to an acquaintance's house to send food, and he also wrote to me from time to time. The poorer his situation became, the more miserable his words became. Finally I had to leave this acquaintance's house, so I drifted around. Soon, he suddenly received news from his fellow villagers that he had fallen into the water and drowned. ?

I suspect he committed suicide. Because he is a good floater, he will not drown easily. ?

Sitting alone in the guild hall at night, I was very sad and suspected that the news was not accurate, but I felt that it was extremely reliable for no reason, although there was no evidence. There was no way at all. I only wrote four poems, which were later published in a daily newspaper. Now I will almost forget them. I only remember six sentences in one poem. The first four sentences are: "Talk about wine to the world, Mr. Xiaojiu people, the big circle is still drunk, and the drunkenness sinks." I have forgotten the two sentences in the middle, and the last sentence is "Old friends are gone, I am waiting for Qingchen.”?

Later I returned to my hometown and found out some more detailed things. Ainong had nothing to do first because everyone hated him. He was in trouble, but he still drank, which was invited by his friends. He rarely interacts with people anymore, and the only common ones he sees are a few younger people he met later. However, they seem to be unwilling to listen to his complaints more, thinking that telling jokes is less interesting. ?

"Maybe I will receive a telegram tomorrow. If I open it and see, it is Lu Xun who came to call me." He often said this. ?

One day, some new friends invited him to go to the theater by boat. It was already midnight when he came back, and it was stormy again. He was drunk, but he insisted on going to the side of the boat to relieve himself. Everyone tried to dissuade him but refused to listen. He said he would not fall. But he fell, and although he could float, he never got up again. ?

The body was salvaged the next day and found in the pond, standing upright. ?

I still don’t know whether he slipped or committed suicide. ?

After his death, he had nothing but a young daughter and his wife. A few people wanted to raise some money as a fund for their girl's future tuition fees, but as soon as the proposal was made, some tribesmen came to fight for the custody of the money. In fact, there was no such money yet. Everyone felt bored and disappeared invisibly. ?

I wonder how his only daughter is doing now? If you are still in school, you should have graduated from middle school.

November 18th.

Mr. Fujino

Tokyo is nothing more than this. When the cherry blossoms in Ueno are in full bloom, they do look like light crimson clouds, but under the flowers there are also groups of "Qing students studying abroad" crash course, with big braids on their heads that are as high as the tops of student hats. Rising high, forming a Mount Fuji. There are also those whose braids are untied and tied flatly, and their hats are removed to reveal a shiny look, just like a little girl's bun, and they have to twist their necks a few times. It's really beautiful.

The concierge of the Chinese International Students Association has a few books to buy, and sometimes it is worth a visit; if it is in the morning, you can still sit in some of the bungalows inside. But in the evening, the floor of one room will often make a loud banging sound, and the room will be filled with smoke and dust. Ask someone who is well versed in current affairs, and they will answer, "That's learning to dance."

How about going somewhere else?

I will go to the Medical College in Sendai. Departing from Tokyo, I arrived at a post station soon and wrote: Nippori. Somehow I still remember the title. Secondly, I only remember Mito, which is the place where Mr. Zhu Shunshui, a survivor of the Ming Dynasty, died. Sendai is a small town; it is extremely cold in winter; there are no Chinese students yet.

Probably because things are more valuable than hope. When cabbage from Beijing is shipped to Zhejiang, the root is tied with a red-tipped rope and hung upside down in front of a fruit shop, where it is revered as "glue cabbage"; aloe vera that grows wild in Fujian is brought into the greenhouse as soon as it arrives in Beijing, and is euphemistically called "agave" ". I also received such preferential treatment when I arrived in Sendai. Not only did the school not charge tuition, but several staff members also took care of my room and board. I first stayed in an inn next to the prison. It was already quite cold in early winter, but there were still a lot of mosquitoes. Later, I covered my whole body with a quilt and wrapped my head and face with clothes, leaving only two nostrils for breathing. In this place where breathing is endless, mosquitoes have no way to interrupt, and they sleep peacefully. The food isn't bad either. But a gentleman thought that this inn also provided meals for prisoners and it was not suitable for me to live there. He said this again and again. Although I felt that it was irrelevant to me that the inn also provided meals for the prisoners, but it was hard to resist such good intentions, so I had no choice but to find a suitable place to stay. So I moved to another house, which was far away from the prison. Unfortunately, I always had to drink taro soup that was hard to swallow every day.

Since then I have seen many strange teachers and heard many new lectures. Anatomy is divided between two professors. Originally osteology. At that time, a dark and thin gentleman with a mustache and glasses came in, holding a stack of large and small books. As soon as he placed the book on the podium, he introduced himself to the students in a slow and frustrated tone: -

"My name is Fujino Genkuro..."

A few people in the back started laughing. He then talked about the history of the development of anatomy in Japan. Those large and small books were about this subject from the beginning to the present. At first, a few books were thread-bound; there were also Chinese translations. Their translation and research on new medicine were no earlier than China's.

The person sitting in the back laughing was a repeater who failed last school year. He had been in school for a year and was quite familiar with the story. They then lectured the freshmen on the history of each professor. It is said that Mr. Fujino was so immodest in his clothes that he sometimes forgot his tie. He wore an old coat in the winter and was shivering. Once when he got on the train, the conductor suspected that he was a pickpocket and called the man in the car. Guests, please be careful.

What they said is probably true. I saw him once in class without a tie.

A week later, around Saturday, he sent his assistant to call me. When I arrived at the research room, I saw him sitting among human bones and many individual skulls - he was studying the skulls, and later published a paper in the school's magazine.

"Can you copy my lecture notes?" he asked.

"You can copy a little."

"Bring it to me!"

I handed over the handout I copied, and he accepted it. He returned it to me in three days and said that from then on, I would give it to him once a week. When I took it down and opened it, I was surprised, but also felt uneasy and grateful. It turns out that my lecture notes have been revised with red pen from beginning to end. Not only have many omissions been added, but even the grammatical errors have been corrected one by one. This continued until he finished teaching the subjects he was responsible for: osteology, vascular science, and neurology.

It’s a pity that I didn’t work hard at that time and was sometimes very willful. I still remember that one time Mr. Fujino called me into his laboratory, pulled out a picture from my lecture notes, which showed the blood vessels of the lower arm, pointed at it, and said kindly to me:——

"Look, you moved this blood vessel a little bit.

——Of course, such a move does make it look better. However, anatomical diagrams are not art. The real thing is the same, and we cannot change it. Now I've changed it for you. From now on, you have to follow the drawing on the blackboard. "

But I was still not convinced. I agreed verbally, but thought in my heart: -

"I drew the picture well; as for the actual situation, I naturally remember it in my heart. . ”

After the test in the school year, I went to Tokyo for a summer, and returned to school in early autumn. The results had already been announced. Among more than a hundred classmates, I was in the middle, but I didn’t fail. The assignment Mr. Fujino was responsible for this time was anatomy practice and regional anatomy.

After about a week of anatomy practice, he asked me to go again. He was very happy and still used a very restrained tone. He said to me:——

“I heard that Chinese people respect ghosts very much, so I was very worried, fearing that you would not dissect corpses. Now I am finally relieved that this is not the case. ”

But he sometimes makes me very difficult. He heard that Chinese women have their feet bound, but he doesn’t know the details, so he wants to ask me how to bind the feet and what kind of deformity the foot bones become. , and sighed, “You have to take a look to find out. What is going on? ”

One day, the student union officer at my level came to my apartment and asked to borrow my lecture notes. I took them out and gave them to them, but they only looked through them and did not take them away. But they As soon as he left, the postman delivered a very thick letter. When he opened it and read it, the first sentence was:——

“Repent! ”

This is a sentence from the New Testament, but it was recently quoted by Tolstoy. It was the time of the Russo-Japanese War, and Mr. Tolstoy wrote a letter to Russia and Japan The emperor's letter began with this sentence. Japanese newspapers criticized him for being disrespectful, and the patriotic youth were also angry, but secretly they were already influenced by him. The second sentence was probably about the topic of the anatomy test last year. , Mr. Fujino marked it in his handout, and I knew it in advance, so I got this result.

I just recalled something that happened a few days ago. During the high-level meeting, the clerk wrote an advertisement on the blackboard. The last sentence was "Please come to the meeting and don't miss anything." He also put a circle next to the word "missing". Although I thought the circle was ridiculous at the time, I didn't mind at all. , this time I realized that the word was also mocking me, saying that I had the problem that the teacher leaked.

I told Mr. Fujino about this; several classmates who were familiar with me also told him. I was very upset and went to confront the clerk for the rude excuse for the inspection and asked them to publish the results of the inspection. Finally, the rumor was eliminated, but the clerk tried his best to withdraw the anonymous letter. I returned this Tolstoy-like letter to them.

China is a weak country, so the Chinese are of course imbecile. If the score is above 60, it is not their own ability: there is no reason to blame them. I was confused. But then I had to visit the fate of the Chinese people. In the second year, Tian taught mold science. The shapes of bacteria were all shown in movies. After a paragraph was finished, a few movies of current events were shown before the class was over. Naturally, the films are all about Japan's victory over Russia, but there are Chinese people in it: working as a detective for the Russians, being captured by the Japanese army, and about to be shot, and a group of Chinese people are watching around; there are also Chinese people in the lecture hall. There is a me.

“Long live! "They all clapped their hands and cheered.

This kind of cheering happens every time I watch a film, but to me, this one is particularly harsh. After returning to China, I saw those who were watching The people who shot the prisoners cheered like drunkenness - Wow, it was unimaginable! But at that time, my opinion changed.

By the end of the second school year. , I went to find Mr. Fujino and told him that I would not study medicine and leave Sendai. His face seemed a little sad, and he seemed to want to speak, but he didn't say.

"I want to study biology." The knowledge my husband taught me is still useful. "Actually, I didn't decide to study biology, because I saw him a little sad, so I told a lie to comfort him.

"Anatomy taught for medicine is not as good as biology. Not much help. "He sighed.

A few days before he left, he asked me to come to his home and handed me a photo. There were two words written on the back: "Farewell" and he also said he hoped to give mine to him. . But I didn't have time to take any photos at this time; he then told me to take photos and send them to him in the future, and also kept him informed of the situation in the future.

After I left Sendai, I hadn’t taken a picture for many years, and because the situation was boring, talking about it would only disappoint him, and I was afraid to even write a letter. More and more years have passed and I have no words to talk about, so although I sometimes want to write a letter, I find it difficult to write. Until now, I have not sent a letter or a photo. From his side, it seemed that there was no news since he left.

But somehow, I always remember him. Among the teachers I consider him, he is the one who makes me most grateful and encourages me. Sometimes I often think: His enthusiastic hope for me and tireless teachings are, in a small way, for China, that is, he hopes that China will have new medicine; in a big way, it is for academics, that is, he hopes for new medicine. spread to China. His character is great in my eyes and heart, although his name is not known to many people.

I have bound the lecture notes he corrected into three thick volumes and kept them as a permanent souvenir. Unfortunately, when I moved house seven years ago, a book box was destroyed and half the box of books was lost. It happened that these lecture notes were also lost. I asked the transportation bureau to look for it, but there was no reply. Only his photograph is still hanging on the east wall of my Beijing residence, opposite my desk. Whenever I feel tired at night and want to be lazy, I look up and catch a glimpse of his dark and thin face in the light, as if he is about to speak in measured tones. This makes me suddenly realize my conscience and gain courage, so I light a cigarette and start again. Continue to write words that are deeply abhorred by "gentlemen" and their ilk.

October 12th.

The length is limited, go and see it yourself

/luxun/zhxs/