Joke Collection Website - Mood Talk - Ask Degang Guo for a cross talk.
Ask Degang Guo for a cross talk.
My whole life
Tianjin special meeting
Degang Guo Yu Qian
Guo: Thanks to the teacher for coming to the performance despite his illness. You are in poor health these days.
Y: I don't feel well.
Guo: Especially this time, I was so sick that I was disfigured.
Y: Why is it disfigured?
Guo: Hemorrhoids.
Y: hemorrhoids disfigured?
Guo: Not all.
Y: I haven't heard of it.
Guo: I can't tell at a glance.
Y: I didn't look carefully.
Guo: Well, I hope you're not sick or in pain. I hope you have a smooth sailing. I hope everything goes well. I hope you don't like me.
Y: What's the matter with you?
Guo: It's not easy for me.
Y: and you?
Guo: There are no outsiders here today. Tell everyone my bitterness.
Y: Do you have anything to say about it?
Guo: It's a long story (on the table).
Y: Why don't you wait for a while and go down first?
Guo: I am used to going to the kang at home.
Y: this one can't talk when standing.
Guo: It's not easy to hit a child. It is not easy to live an unfair life.
Y: Why is it so difficult?
Guo: I don't believe anyone who tells me.
Y: Tell me about it.
Guo: Do you know? My cough ring fell off and my needle sneezed.
Y: not even close to the side.
Guo: Pull the cart over the hurdle step by step, eat sugar cakes and burn the back of your head.
Y: Why is it so hot here?
Guo: This is a sugar cake. Eat them. When you tear them apart, the sugar comes down. When you lick them, they will collapse-
Y: Hey, don't destroy anything. Why are you licking it?
Guo: Actually, since I was a child, I have been determined to serve the motherland and be a person who is beneficial to the people.
Y: It's good to have this ideal.
Guo: When I was a child, I wanted to be an athlete and win glory for my country.
Y: that's all right.
Guo: One day I stood on the podium, and when the national anthem sounded, I cried with it.
Y: great!
Guo: My wish is to train by myself. I want to be an excellent swimmer. I practice and teach myself every day.
Y: Oh, practice by yourself.
Guo: No, I can't. I know all kinds of postures, and I practice them just right. I was banned by the garden department.
Y: Is the swimming department next to the garden department?
Guo: I practice with grass at the door.
Y: Why are you scratching?
Guo: They stopped me, and I said I deserved it. I died (in a timid voice).
Y: I am still dead.
Guo: If you don't practice pulling, you can't put the shot. Why don't you contribute to your country? Boring-it's far away. Coach said it doesn't count.
Y: I left the ball there.
Guo: It's amazing.
Y: What's the magic?
Guo: It hasn't moved. I'm out. I said I deserved it. I am dead. I did something else. I skated. I'm proud of it.
Y: It's called a roller.
Guo: It's fun to put on shoes with wheels and swish.
Y: that's good.
Guo: One day, I won't be the first in the world series.
Yu: small
Guo: Not even the roller skating rink. It's small. Go to the outer ring road, put on your shoes, find a big truck, arrest those people, and it will drive me all the way.
Y: This is not your skating.
Guo: It's exciting and fast. I just forgot to ask. This bus goes to Inner Mongolia.
Y: ok.
Guo: Boy, as soon as the Outer Ring Road came out, it was lifted up, and the skates were shining. All the people ran out and shouted, Look at Nezha.
Y: Think of your shoes with wheels as hot wheels.
Guo: Unfortunately, I didn't go to Inner Mongolia, and I stayed in Chengde.
Y: I see.
Guo: My shoes are worn out. I was afraid of pain, so I didn't follow.
Y: Yes, if you grind it again, you will grind your feet.
Guo: None of my wishes have come true, and my studies are not smooth.
Y: What's wrong with going to school?
Guo: Forget it. Primary school is 10 year, and middle school is 12 year. These years are all-
Y: wait a minute. Primary school is 10, and middle school is 12. How do you read this book?
Guo: They won't let me graduate.
Y: Is that reluctance?
Guo: I was rated as the most familiar face in the whole school. When the new teacher comes, he will follow me to scan the inside story of the school.
Y: You are familiar with it. Tell them.
Guo: I don't like classes either. I can't understand what they say.
Y: Oh, I don't even understand.
Guo: He doesn't like looking at me either, and I don't like looking at him either. You deserve it. I will go to my dormitory to sleep.
Y: just sleep.
Guo: I play mine. I play the harmonica myself. I read books.
Y: it's also a hobby.
Guo: What are my two hobbies? Please teach me how to play the harmonica, which I love to learn.
Y: harmonica.
Guo: How do you play? Say you practice harmony first. Aha, practice like this. Practice for March. I am not interested in harmonica, but I am interested in bones.
Y: You changed your habits.
Guo: The students let me smell every key they lost.
Y: I'm sure I can find it.
Guo: Nothing to read, martial arts novels.
Y: Just look at this one.
Guo: That's what I like. I read aloud with swords and shadows.
Y: back, too
Guo: The dormitory is empty. I'm alone. His blood is cold, his heart is cold,
Y: that's what everyone says.
Guo: His sword is cold, his men are cold, and the child is frozen. What's the use?
Y: what book?
Guo: What's the use of writing this thing?
Y: don't look.
Guo: It's okay to stay every day. Just introduced me to a girlfriend.
Y: Oh, sex.
Guo: It's beautiful. Looks like a car accident, eyes like this. (squinting) It's another sunny afternoon. My girlfriend, Miss Bias, and I are sitting in the 3 1 flavor ice cream shop in Brazzaville, Congo.
Y: How did you find it?
Guo: Yes, snowballs. I watched her eating this spoonful in front of me.
Y: She can't see what is in front of her.
Guo: I hate it. I gave her a bad look, but she didn't take it to heart.
Y: Maybe I didn't see you.
Guo: I think of my parents who are far away in the south. I haven't been home since I went to school for so many years. My parents in my hometown are in good health. When can I kneel again? I received a letter from my father this morning. Dear child, you haven't come back from home for a long time. Today, after being reminded by our neighbors, we remembered that you are such a child. We miss you very much. Our family has moved. I won't tell you where to go. Guess.
Y: Any guesses?
Guo: I deliberately removed our house number when I left.
Y: I can't find my home this time.
Guo: It's very cold. I sent you a coat. The post office said it was too heavy. I unbuttoned it and put it in your coat pocket.
Y: Is this old man a fool?
Guo: I wanted to send you some money, but the envelope was sealed.
Y: Then don't bother.
Guo: Where can I find them? I miss them very much. Prejudice came up with an idea to take me to the south.
Y: south?
Guo: I'll go home and find them. When I arrived at Beijing Railway Station, there were no tickets left. Thanks to my girlfriend, I went to the police and asked, Do you know where the ticket scalper is?
Y: Ticket scalper?
Guo: Make the police happy: I am looking for it, too.
Yes, isn't it? Only two people are looking for him.
Guo: Then I don't know where she got the two tickets.
Y: I really bought it.
Guo: We boarded the train bound for the west.
Y: I went to the west.
Guo: The train walked for three days and nights and finally got off at a place I didn't know. She took me deep into the forest.
Y: into the forest.
Guo: I was so tired that I fell asleep lying there. I don't know how long it took. She gave me a push: hey. I said: Why? There is good news and bad news.
Y: Two messages.
Guo: Which one do you listen to? What is the bad news?
Y: listen to the bad ones first.
Guo: We are lost. I don't know this place. In addition, it is estimated that we will have to live by eating cow dung in the future.
Y: cow dung.
Guo: What's the good news?
Y: listen again. All right.
Guo: There is a lot of cow dung.
Y: Oh, that's all right.
Guo: (punching and kicking)
Y: Come on, save your strength.
Guo: I walked back after hitting her. After more than half a year, I finally returned to the dormitory.
Y: ok, how about half a year?
Guo: Hey, what's the point of living? Why are you going?
Y: I can't relax
Guo: Go ahead and kill yourself. This is one way.
Y: not alive?
Guo: Yes, I want to kill myself. Well, get an electric shock.
Y: Touch the switch. It's a good idea. This is quick.
Guo: Just to be on the safe side, let's use an electric pen.
Y: I know everything.
Guo: Goodbye, I'm dead. Teng-the power is out.
Y: OK, what can I do?
Guo: It's outrageous. If you don't let me die, it's not enough. Jump off a building.
Yu: Falling from the building
Guo: Oh, jumping off a building is dead. It's so coke.
Y: What cola do you have?
Guo: I have studied it. The effect of jumping off a building on the 20th floor is different from that on the 2nd floor.
Y: What's the difference?
Guo: Look, jumping on the second floor is right-pa -.20 floor is right-pa.
Y: That's the difference. Not so good.
Guo: High-tech. I'm on the 30th floor. Bang-
Y: Why is it so noisy?
Guo: There is an iron fence.
Y: I didn't jump out
Guo: It rebounded. Take rat poison.
Yu: taking poison.
Guo: I rummaged through everything for a big bag of rat poison.
Y: Let's eat.
Guo: Eat and die. Why are you so hungry after waiting for a long time? Get up and look at this bag and yeast tablets.
Y: look carefully.
Guo: I haven't eaten for several days. What is there to digest? I'm not gonna die.
Oh, not dead again.
Guo: I haven't had time to enjoy my life. Have a good life. I have to do something. I print counterfeit money to do business.
Y: Is this business?
Guo: A friend of mine told me that it is illegal to print large bills.
Y: Small receipts are also illegal.
Guo: One print for one yuan. I said I didn't know this. Where can I buy paper and ink and how to print it? He said you should leave it alone. You give me the money and I'll print it for you. Just like the real thing, 40 yuan each.
Y: One yuan each.
Guo: Later, I wondered if he was lying to me.
Y: Maybe I lied to you.
Guo: Isn't that enough?
Y: isn't it?
Guo: It's understandable that you want to exchange five dollars for one, isn't it?
He is your father's son.
Guo: This is not the way. Do something else. I'll rob a bank.
Y: that was fast.
Guo: The bank was full of money, so I started to write a work log. I'll try my best. I've thought of all the precautions. I must succeed in the robbery. There are several considerations.
Y: There are other things to pay attention to.
Guo: We should not take it lightly. We have experience in this field.
Y: There is still some experience.
Guo: One of our seniors robbed a bank. Because the target was not accurate, he was strong and ran to the armed police dormitory with a kitchen knife.
Y: I didn't find out.
Guo: He failed.
Y: nonsense, can you lose?
Guo: We also have an predecessor who successfully robbed 6.5438+0.83 million in cash.
Y: that's quite a lot.
Guo: I drove to the persuasion field.
Y: What are you doing there?
Guo: It was exactly 5: 30 pm when the police arrived, and he was still stuck in traffic.
Y: can't you run away? this is
Guo: We also have an elder who covers his head with a sack. How thoughtful.
Y: right.
Guo: I forgot to gouge out my eyes.
Y: He can't see either.
Guo: After crossing the road, click was crushed to death.
Y: that's too bad.
Guo: That's too bad. We also have a senior.
Y: Where are you so senior?
Guo: Anyway, an elder with a gun has thought everything over. As soon as he entered, he grabbed it and took out the money. More than 40 people behind him took out their guns and the police gave him money.
Y: Well, he didn't leave until they all got together, did he?
Guo: I must succeed. I will take good care of it.
Y: study.
Guo: I must rob it. I exercise and run. I will go out at four in the morning.
Y: Bond's body.
Guo: If a good man doesn't chase you, you can outrun him.
Y: right.
Guo: I get up at four in the morning and then go downstairs. As soon as I run, there are dogs walking in our neighborhood. This puppy is very cute. It's called Tibetan sore.
Is that a puppy? That big dog.
Guo: What a big brain.
Y: Your strokes are right.
Guo: Oh, it's so lively and lovely. I ran after him and gave me a fright. The speed was too fast, so I went straight north and got off.
Y: I'm going north.
Guo: I dumped it. I am very reliable. I made it.
Y: Did you get rid of it?
Guo: I broke up with Tibetan cooking. When I came back from Zhangjiakou by bus after dinner at night, I thought-
Y: Wait a minute. You have been to Zhangjiakou.
Guo: Think about it. Can that leg slow down?
Y: I said, how did the dog get dumped?
Guo: I think I need a helper.
Y: I have an assistant.
Guo: I need someone to help me I have a friend who has been stealing for three generations.
Yu: den of thieves
Guo: He is in the south. I want to write a letter to help me rob a bank. He was so happy that he came to the north by bus. On the train, he worked hard, used napkins and wrote robbery plans.
Y: Write a robbery plan on the train.
Guo: It says that there is an old Red Army next to it, and the train goes directly to the police station.
Y: Oh, the existing tracks.
Guo: I've decided. I will do it alone. Downstairs is the bank. I'm on my way first. I'll go at noon. What are you afraid of? Come to the front, bang, alas, this is.
Y: what's the matter
Guo: The glass is too bright.
Y: Take a good look at that door.
Guo: My nose is crooked. Let's go and see the doctor. The hapless hospital next door has changed its bathhouse and can do nothing but pedicure.
Y: I can't tell yet.
Guo: I have kept it for several days. I think robbing a bank is a mistake. We should rob an armored car.
Y: Oh, that car.
Guo: There is money there.
Y: right, right.
Guo: I'm practicing now.
Y: how to practice this?
Guo: I'll ride my bike to bid farewell to Dagong first.
Y: thank you very much. What are you?
Guo: Yes, I practice in the dark every morning. I was practicing in the street that day. The armored car came and ran into a gang of gangsters. The two sides fought, guns beeping, beeping. Many people died and their cars overturned. The big iron box fell beside me. When I opened it, it was full of money.
Y: money.
Guo: Hundreds of thousands, God can't starve a blind bird. I made a fortune in Degang Guo, and all the money is mine. I was unlucky and moved a box.
Y: What kind of mildew is this?
Guo: Blame me me.
Y: why?
Guo: I took my suitcase to the bank.
Y: Are you stupid?
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