What do you fear most when you feel shady? Let's talk about it

All feelings, as long as they are true feelings, are worthy of respect, but they are not necessarily advocated, whether they are seen or not. Many people say that the feeling of darkness and fear of being discovered is actually not. Since we have taken this step, we will find out sooner or later, so we must be prepared. What we are afraid of is something that neither of us may realize.

As for what to be afraid of, it is actually very simple, afraid of the word "serious". Everything is afraid of the word "serious", especially emotional things. The more serious I am, the more easily I get hurt. The more serious I am, the more I give, and the harder it is to part. Most divorce, double suicide, domestic violence and even murder because of shady feelings are because one party is serious or both parties are serious. Everyone is fleshy and selfish at heart. Together for a long time, get along for a long time, there will always be one party to pay the truth. Inevitably, I certainly hope that the other party belongs to me completely, but for various reasons, it is very difficult to do this, which leads to many things beyond morality and law.

Emotionally, whoever is serious first loses. Even if this relationship is shady, the pain suffered when breaking up is the same. The more serious people pay, the greater the pain in their hearts will be. Divorce can be remarried and breakup can be redeemed, but what is left after this breakup? There is no way to go on. The longer the time, the deeper the pain, and I don't want to let go completely. Obviously it is true love, but I can't love it, so where is this relationship going? Please give an answer.

Some feelings are true, but the road is difficult; Some feelings are false, but they grow old together; Some are ruthless at all, but they have been insisting. A love word, to say countless sadness and blood and tears. If this relationship can come to the end, cherish it. If this relationship has no end from the beginning, then we should cherish the good times together, create more beautiful memories, find a suitable opportunity, give ourselves to our lover and give this relationship a satisfactory explanation.

"Since you have a wife and children, please leave me alone. I don't have that much youth to delay you. "

"I can give you money and I can provide you with good material conditions."

"Haha, I don't need it."

I left him, although I was sad, after all, I really loved him. But what is the use of love? We are all adults, and if love is not for marriage, it is meaningless. If love is to bring harm to another innocent woman, it is melodramatic.

I admit, I am short of money. I am a newly graduated college student, facing the expenses of rent, living and finding a job. How can we not be short of money? Others are sponsored by parents, shared by boyfriends or shared by good friends, which can save a lot of money. But I don't, I don't have money, I don't have the sponsorship of my parents, I don't have a boyfriend to share, and I don't have the help of my good friends. If I lose another quality of being a man at this time, it will be the dirtiest point in my life.

I admit that if I am a third party, even if I don't destroy other people's families, once I reach out, I will get used to the life of money, and it is difficult for me to change back to my original self. If I find an easy but incorrect way to earn money, it will be difficult for me to rely on my own strength, and it will be difficult to endure hardships and get what I deserve slowly.

As the saying goes, luxury is easy, simplicity is difficult. It's easy to make yourself bad, but it's difficult to keep your quality. I don't regret my decision Some people use luxury goods, wear famous brands and go to high-end restaurants in this way. Maybe they will receive all kinds of gifts because of their choice. Maybe they will live a relaxed life for a while because of their own choices.

I don't care what their future will be like, whether they will be destroyed by the original match, and whether they will lose their original self. Or they can make it to the top. There are many such examples. Whether it is worth it or not is their future situation. When this happens to me, the only thing I can do is to let go of all my emotions and refuse from a moral point of view. Don't let yourself hurt other people's families, and don't let yourself love a shady love so lowly.

Giving up is the right beginning of unrequited love. It hurts, but it's worth it.

Since it's a shady relationship,

The biggest fear, of course, is to see the light.

When I was in college, my best friend found an uncle.

what can I say? Let's get what we need,

Uncle is mature, considerate and rich.

Best friend is young, beautiful and lovely.

The two hit it off and stayed together for more than 2 years.

My best friend seldom asks my uncle for money, but he always gives me money.

At first, girlfriends were attracted by uncle's mature charm.

Unexpectedly, after being together later, I found that there were too many bright spots on my uncle.

From the beginning, I just wanted to be together.

If you want to be together for a long time or even aboveboard,

When you can't get feelings, ask your uncle for money. ,

Until the end, I became more and more dissatisfied and felt more and more sorry for myself.

However, the uncle found the change of his girlfriend's feelings for him and became more and more afraid.

In this affair, men have been calculating the cost.

The price of divorce is too high for a man,

Therefore, few men can divorce you because of extramarital affairs.

Uncle wants to solve the problem with money,

The horror is that girlfriends don't want money, just people,

The two broke up in discord, and finally his girlfriend went to his uncle's house to make trouble.

My uncle finally got divorced, but he still didn't marry his best friend.

In this matter, both sides lose. In the end, the two sides became enemies and broke up in discord.

A word of advice, as long as you step into an extramarital affair, don't affect each other's family.

We should work hard for each other, encourage each other and get what we need.

Only in this way can it last. If you blindly pursue one aspect of satisfaction,

In the end, I will only fly out of moths and set myself on fire.

I can't see the light, but it makes people feel yearning and exciting.

But often there is no good result, and life is always full of contradictions. It is better to be practical.

Shady feelings are different at different stages of development.

In the first stage, the relationship between two people may have arisen in a period of time, and it seems that they have found a bosom friend, but they are not sure. It is a deep mystery whether we should take this risk or not, and what the other person thinks in his heart. At this time, I was afraid that I had invested, and the other party did not invest. I put my heart into it, but the other party ignored it, fearing that I would be disappointed and miserable.

In the second stage, the two betrayed their families and secretly came together. The novelty and excitement of extramarital affairs make them sink, and they enjoy it. At this time, the two people are very worried, afraid that the time together is too short and there are not many opportunities. Worried about current events, limited by reality, can not fully enjoy the happiness of "love." At this time, there is no reason. You may not like your true lover, and some people even want to divorce and reorganize their families.

In the third stage, practical problems gradually saved the two, and the freshness of feelings gradually faded. At this time, they feel that "home is still good!" Then, instead, they will worry about their shady feelings, that the other party will lose control and reason, and do something that will destroy their real life. At this time, agreements such as "not affecting each other's families" may be emphasized.

In the fourth stage, conscience is discovered and morality is awakened. I feel that my family is more reliable and amiable. At this time, I may feel guilty in my heart. Because of guilt, I changed my mind and went back to my family. Finally, I'm not afraid of this anymore.

Therefore, invisible feelings are of course dark and lifeless. So Do not forget your initiative mind, take seriously that he has a family and a lover.

Psychological counselor, emotional expert, writer; Make the person you love sweeter, and make the person you love love you. Teach skills and solve contradictions, welcome to pay attention to "Love Analysis Course". What are you most afraid of?

When I say shady feelings here, I think I mean extramarital affairs.

Generally speaking, this kind of shady feelings, in my opinion, are most afraid of three things Moreover, there is a logical relationship between the three points from the beginning to the end of extramarital affairs. .

First, I am afraid that my partner will know that when the affair begins, they are in a fierce emotional period brought by novelty. At this time, the only thing they will worry about is that the other half will know. There are three reasons:

Second, people who are afraid of extramarital affairs are forced to get married. Generally speaking, treating extramarital affairs, especially men, is to have fun and find fresh and exciting mentality. Even if the other half is not good, the average man will not choose divorce because of the children and the economy.

And women are easy to fall into feelings and cannot extricate themselves! Even in the end, the man couldn't extricate himself and asked the other party to give a result. At this time, women's forced marriage will make men feel scared!

This stage is also from the previous fresh stimulus period to the stable period. Because of the sinking cost of emotion, when women feel that they may be unbearable, they hope men will give them a result.

At this time, in order to avoid women's forced marriage, men will decide to give up this relationship.

Third, at this time of fear of being exposed, with the development of extramarital affairs, some contradictions will begin to appear between the two.

For example, one of them paid too much and began to care.

When these accumulated contradictions cannot be solved in time after a long period of accumulation, the emotional relationship between two people will break out. At this time, shy feelings are most afraid of exposure.

Once exposed, it will affect their social reputation, become the talk of others after dinner, and be judged, which is what men and women in the human world do not want to see.

In short, because of these three risks, the feelings of darkness are hidden!

"What are you most afraid of?" So first of all, let's analyze what is shady.

I think the shady feelings mentioned by the subject should be extramarital affairs. Only extramarital affairs are cautious and can only be carried out underground. Extramarital affairs are most afraid of the following:

I'm afraid my spouse will find out that I must have an affair. What I am most afraid of is being discovered by the other spouse. Extramarital affairs are a violation of morality, public order and good customs. Both sides of the derailment are very cautious, and they will feel a little guilty when facing their spouses. Once your spouse finds out, it will bring you a lot of trouble, from ending the extramarital affair to making your life change dramatically.

People who are afraid of being forced into marriage by extramarital affairs generally seek extramarital affairs only to seek the stimulation of extramarital affairs and do not want to be bound by marriage, so they never want to divorce their spouses.

But there are also some people who have some extramarital affairs, especially emotional women, who are easily unable to extricate themselves. At this time, if the woman is pregnant with the man's child, she will ask the man for an explanation and a birthright. At this time, the man will find it unbearable and eventually withdraw from this relationship.

Afraid of being discovered by colleagues and leaders, some men want to find excitement outside and keep their glorious image in front of leaders and colleagues, so they are very afraid of being discovered by leaders and colleagues. Once exposed, it will damage your reputation, and you may lose your job and affect your future.

Afraid of being retaliated by the other party, some people who are having an extramarital affair really moved their hearts and asked the other party to divorce and form a marriage with themselves. However, the other party doesn't want a divorce, so they are afraid that they will make excessive behavior and be retaliated by the other party.

Conclusion Extramarital affair itself is an immoral behavior, but there are still many people who take risks, fall into morality, and finally take the consequences. Advise men and women in marriage to be loyal to marriage.

Shady feelings are most afraid of being discovered and exposed! Because there is a saying called "See the light and die!"

Most afraid of being caught, hiding all day, often one party has a family, or both parties have a family and have an affair.

Both sides are very afraid of being discovered and arrested by one or both partners.

In order to avoid this, two people are hiding from each other all the time. Even if they have a meal, they have to enter the same restaurant one after another, and they have to have a separate room, or even go to a hotel, so they can't arrive at the same time.

I live in fear all day, afraid of being caught by acquaintances and discovered by the original match!

The most afraid of exposure, careful communication and contact in everything, may be the most dangerous existence, because sometimes, one party can't bear to miss it, maybe a piece of information and a concern will be inadvertently discovered by the original match!

So hide it well, make a phone call, return a message, and even the WeChat comments should be professional.

I saw the funniest thing on the Internet, and changed San Xiao's phone note to 10086!

It is really a battle of wits with the original match!

This kind of thing, most afraid of violence! What is face? How to face your family? Undoubtedly playing with fire, always beware of scalding yourself!

Most afraid of all kinds of blind date activities. I have a boyfriend (girlfriend), but I have to pretend to be single. I have to deal with all kinds of introductions and blind dates. In real life, I think most women are mistresses, or lovers, and hook up with married men!

She enjoys this secret love again and again, on the one hand, she has to pretend to be single to be liberated!

Colleagues, family members, relatives and friends, etc. Can't refuse to arrange for her, but also ask her to go on a blind date!

Finally, I would rather let others say that she has a high eye and is picky than let others know her unbearable underground situation!

Invisible feelings are most afraid of not being "black".

Unscrupulous feelings must rely on darkness and grow and revel under the cover of darkness. It can be said that without the cover of darkness, there will be no nutrients, and feelings will collapse, or directly accept the sun and live in it.

When ugly feelings are exposed to the sun, they are bound to be criticized by everyone, and people's words are terrible, just like a storm hitting people.

Dark feelings are doomed not to last long, because no one wants to breathe freely in the sun.

Some people always hold the illusion that "one is at home, the other is outside, and everyone enjoys happiness". They are confident that they can feel comfortable between two women/men, so that they can live in peace.

However, who wants to live in darkness forever and be a nameless lover? Really not, some are temporary compromises for the benefit.

Mr. Z has a relative in his family. It was not until the death of a traffic accident that we knew that a good husband and father in the eyes of others had already raised a lover and had children outside.

After the accident, this shameful feeling was exposed, like a depth charge, and the whole family exploded for it.

Why did the other person want to live in the dark before, but now he wants to jump out? Because men are gone, no one gives them living expenses regularly every month. So, they're here to collect debts.

Unscrupulous feelings, if both sides tacitly believe that this relationship can only exist or will only exist in the dark, and will not disturb the outside world, then, if you like, as long as they don't reveal clues and the other victim doesn't notice, the world will be beautiful.

Everyone gets what they want in the dark, and the most innocent people live their own lives.

But as long as one person doesn't want to breathe openly and enjoy the sunshine in the dark, this triangle relationship means ending and shuffling.

The result is nothing more than these:

1. The third party fled.

2. The third party successfully took the upper position.

3. The marriage is gone, and the feeling of darkness is gone.

In my opinion, the biggest fear of shady feelings is being known by others. Once discovered by others, both parties will be hurt, even affecting relatives and friends, with serious consequences.

First, what is the feeling of darkness? The feeling of darkness is equivalent to an underground love affair, which can't be made public and let others know. There are two main types:

1, office romance prohibited by the company. Office romance is prone to friction and estrangement, which will affect work and damage the interests of the company. Therefore, many companies ban office romances. Once discovered, both parties will be fired.

Under such circumstances, if you fall in love with a colleague at work, it is doomed to be a hard underground romance, and you can't see the light, otherwise your job will be gone.

2. extramarital affairs. After you got married, you fell in love with someone else behind your partner's back. This immoral emotion is an extramarital affair, which cannot be made public, otherwise it will attract others' gossip and strange eyes. If the family knows, it will definitely hurt the other family.

For whatever reason, falling in love with others during marriage is an incomprehensible behavior. If you don't interrupt in time, it will eventually lead to disaster and eventually harm others and yourself.

In short, the biggest fear of emotional shady is being discovered by others, especially family, friends and colleagues.

2. What should you do if you are experiencing a shady relationship? Just like fireworks in the night sky, the feelings that can't be seen can't last long, and some are only short-lived. Most shady feelings have a perfect beginning and a bleak ending. If someone is troubled by shady relationship, please refer to the following treatment.

Love, either don't talk, or talk aboveboard, otherwise what's the point? Shady feelings, like mice, can only live in the dark without warmth forever, so why bother!

I hope everyone can talk about aboveboard and sweet love.

Feelings that can't see the light dare not see the light. This feeling has been underground for a long time, and I am used to sneaking around. All kinds of thinking are also underground all the year round. Underground, some emotions become particularly beautiful because they can't see the light, but they become higher in imagination. In fact, if you really see the light, you will suddenly change back to your original shape, or you will be particularly ugly and unbearable. See the light-hope to see the light-really see the light-see the light and die. Many feelings that can't see the light often fall into this strange circle. When they are not recognized, they secretly seek excitement every day, which is very interesting. It seems that under the oppression of everyone, it is the so-called "true love". However, when I really entered the marriage hall, it turned into a life that could not be carefully pondered, uncomfortable and unhappy.

Just like a couple upstairs, they are divorced and reorganized. After years of struggle and tempering, they finally got rid of the original match and got married happily. I was very happy after the marriage and gave birth to another child.

Thus, the day of real daily necessities came. The child was particularly difficult to take care of, and finally went to school. They feel that they are too old to educate their children, so they are particularly tired. They often hear that woman yelling at her children at home, and the children are too scared to study. As for her, screaming at work all day, she is getting old too fast. The husband has returned to his former state, not at home all day, and "busy" at work every day.

Such a day is completely different from what they imagined. It is really a chicken feather!

If I had known this, why should I have! Life is just a cycle. I thought I found true love, but I didn't expect it to be true hate! Alas, ridiculous!