Exploded copy of Tik Tok

1. After my wife disappeared, I called 1 to call the police. The policeman said to me, 1. You can't make a record with a straight smile like this.

2. On the way home, I saw many takeaway brothers rushing to deliver food, and suddenly felt very inspirational. Others are still eating so late. What reason do I have not to eat?

A beggar was begging in the street when a passer-by came over. He looked at the beggar and said, "You are strong and have no disability. Why should I give you money? " The beggar was furious and asked, "Do I have to cripple myself before I can ask you for some stinking money?"

You are only twenty years old, so it's normal not to meet the person you like. The later you find out, it's probably impossible to meet.

5. make up. Before I was twenty-five, I relied on the collagen that came with the system. After the age of 30, I basically became a RMB player.

6. When I was a child, my family was poor and my parents worked hard, only a few hundred dollars a month. At that time, I wanted to find a job with a monthly salary of more than 1000 when I grew up, so as to reduce their burden. Now the wish has finally come true!

7. There was a gas leak at home, and I suddenly remembered that the teacher said that I should calm myself in the face of danger, so I took several deep breaths and got gas poisoning.

8. Actually, when I was a child, I was thin and not fat at all, but later, the phrase "no leftovers" ruined my life.

9. Recently, a female colleague gave me trouble. My screen name was changed to "Emperor", she changed to "Empress Dowager", I changed to "Ying Zheng" and she changed to "Evonne". Nima is always a generation older than me. Today, I thought of a unique and decisive way to change it into "Monkey King". See how she changed it? Just after dinner, I went ashore and saw that her uncle's was changed into a "stone crack"

10. You can see your girlfriend's personality through the palm print. If her palm prints often appear on your face, it means that she has a bad temper.

1 1. My girlfriend wants to break up with me. In order to save this relationship, I sent her plain photo to my circle of friends. Sure enough, she not only took the initiative to contact me, but also vowed to say to me: "I am not finished with you!" "

12. It is not unacceptable for you to show your love in a circle of friends, but please don't let me go to Ctrip in the middle of the night to help you cut the hotel? Sprinkle dog food in different periods! You think this is human nature?

13. Just saw a couple quarreling under the street lamp. The boy actually knelt for ten minutes to save his heart. I have no backbone. I'm so fucking cowardly. I was so strong that I knelt all night!

14. Look at your five senses, each with its own characteristics, and no one will obey anyone.

15. When I walked to the square yesterday, I met the scene I was most afraid to see. Several children looked at me with their ears covered. At this time, I was also very scared, covering my ears and looking for a gun everywhere. At this moment, a child came running and said, Aunt, you are going to lose weight. You trampled on all our guns. ...

16. You are so beautiful. First of all, you should thank your parents. If they didn't give you a pair of skillful hands, could you make yourself so beautiful?

17. Senior three went to the bank to get a card, and the counter gave me a list. The type of certificate I fill in is rectangular.

18. The ugly duckling is getting more and more beautiful, and the mother duck is worried. On this day, Mother Duck brought scissors to cut off the wings of the ugly duckling. The ugly duckling refused and asked his mother, Why did you cut off my wings? Mother duck said that if you don't cut your wings, you will fly. Your father knows you can fly, but he won't skin me?

19. If you don't have the money or time to travel, buy a globe. The world is so big that you can not only have a look, but also look around.

20. When my friend came back from a blind date, I said, "How's it going? Is it effective? " He: "Two thirds succeeded." Me: "What do you mean?" The friend replied: "I agree, the introducer agrees, and the other party disagrees!" " "

2 1. My roommate was bored and changed the WeChat avatar to the MM avatar. After the change, he shook it and shook it to an uncle. After some tossing, the uncle promised to open the room and sent the room number. Write down the room number, shake it again, shake it to another uncle and give him the room number.

22. It's not easy to be a man: you need grades before 18, objects after 18, children after marriage, children's grades after having children, and children after 18 are all laymen. Why bother each other?

23. Being good-looking can't be eaten as a meal. Being ugly is really unbearable.

24. When I was in junior high school, I fought with my classmates and was expelled from school. A girl chased me all the way home, crying and saying, you can't leave. What shall I do if you leave? My mother is going to hit me when she hears this. I quickly asked the girl, are we related? She cried and said, why doesn't it matter? If you leave, I will be the last in my grade. ...