Joke Collection Website - Mood Talk - Kneel for the article in Miracle on Earth! (A Dou is a little faster, Li, clay warrior Zhang, etc. Thank you for your efforts, we are very satisfied.
Kneel for the article in Miracle on Earth! (A Dou is a little faster, Li, clay warrior Zhang, etc. Thank you for your efforts, we are very satisfied.
Among the people on the craft road, the "clay figurine Zhang" who pinched the clay figurine ranked first. Moreover, there is a first, no second, and the third is 108,000 miles. Clay figurine Zhang's name is. Xianfeng used to go to two places. One is the theater Grand View Building in the northeast corner of the city, and the other is the restaurant Tianqing Pavilion in Beiguan. Sitting there, you have to meet all kinds of people and pinch all kinds of people. Go to the Daguanlou stands to see all kinds of roles, and go to Tianqing Pavilion to see all kinds of roles in the world. The latter is more like. It was raining that day, and he sat alone in Tianqingge drinking, while paying attention to the appearance of diners around him. At this moment, three people came in from the outside. In the middle, a well-dressed, big-headed, medium-sized man, with a belly and a cow's posture, stormed in. Standing on the table facing the door, the "tall man" took a look and immediately shouted: "Mr. Zhang, he is in good condition, and he is a rare guest and a distinguished guest. There are always three of them here-please come in! " Hearing this publicity, diners stopped talking and even put down their chopsticks and looked at the famous Zhang. At present, Zhang Jinwen, who made a fortune by selling salt, is the most angry person inside and outside the city. In those days, he was adopted as an adopted son by General Hai Daren of Shengjing, ranking fifth. Therefore, it is also called "Zhang Haiwu". But people call him Zhang to his face and Zhang Wu behind his back. Tianjinwei is the boundary of business, and whoever has money wins three points. But except craftsmen, craftsmen eat by hand. Who else can you ask? Afraid of who? Therefore, clay figurine Zhang only cares about drinking and eating vegetables, looking around, completely ignoring Hai Zhangwu. But after a while, I heard Hai Zhangwu talking about him. A small voice said, "people are watching a play, and they have clay figurines in their sleeves." Take it out and have a look Just like on the stage. He pinched it. " Then there was Hai Zhangwu's loud voice saying, "Where can I pinch it?" Pinched in the sleeve? Pinch it in your crotch! "Then there was a burst of laughter, making fun of clay figurine zhang. Everyone in Tianqingge heard these words. People are waiting to see how Zhang, a clay figurine with superb skills and courage, "repays" Hai Zhangwu. A ball of mud passed through? I saw that the clay figurine Zhang ignored it, but his left hand reached under the table and hit a piece of mud dug out of the sole. With a glass of wine in his right hand, his eyes only looked at the tables. The left hand fiddled with the mud, and several fingers pinched it quickly, which was more dexterous than Liu, a juggler. Hai Zhangwu is still having fun. Clay figurine Zhang must have taken all those words back to the mud in his hand. Then I stopped my hand, poked the mud ball on the table, got up and went to the counter to check out. Diners craned their necks to see that this clay figurine is really awesome! It's like cutting off Zhang Wu's head and putting it on the table. A gourd ladle-like head, bulging eyes and a proud face are more like Zhang Wu in the sea than Zhang Wu in the sea. Only the size of a walnut. Hai Zhangwu is over there. You can tell it's him two feet away. He shouted at the back of the clay figurine Zhang who was walking out the door: "This broken craft also needs to make money, and no one wants to sell it cheaply." Without looking back, the mud man opened his umbrella and left. However, Tianjinwei's business didn't end like this ── the next day, rows of clay sculptures of Haizhangwu were placed on several grocery stalls in Yuyi Street outside the north gate, and another body was added. They just sat there. And turn it over and buckle it, mass production, one or two hundred. There is also a white note on the stall, which reads in pen and ink: if you sell clothes at a low price, people coming and going in the street will be happy. Look for acquaintances after having fun, and have another fun. Three days later, Hai Zhangwu sent someone to buy all these clay figurines at a high price. It is said that they also bought clay molds. Clay figurines are gone, but the story of "selling Zhang Wu at a low price" has been circulating for more than 100 years until today. -"Clay Figurine Zhang"
Feng is from Ningbo, Zhejiang. There are two kinds of people in the Feng family, one is a businessman and the other is a scholar. The people in the Feng family are smart, and their minds are full of ivory balls carved by Cantonese Weng, layer by layer, and each layer has patterns. Therefore, the Feng family became very rich in business, and they were all literary giants when they were studying. There are five men and two women in Feng's generation, and he ranks last. Several brothers set up factories in Shanghai and Tianjin for a long time to do business, got married early and gained a firm foothold. Only Feng is eating a book at home. He looks like a crucian carp, with thin bones and tender meat like a fish belly. It is not the appearance of making money, but the material of dancing writing. Every book he reads, you read one sentence and he recites the next. It is said that this ability is only available to Wang Anshi in the Song Dynasty. As for his eloquence, no one is dissatisfied. It is said that the future of Feng's generation depends on this. Feng was twenty-five years old and his parents died. He sold his house and took his family to Tianjinwei in order to vote for his brother and rely on his friends to find a way across the sky. He has a high heart, but Tianjinwei is a commercial port, and the brush is used to keep accounts. No one reads, and naturally no one reads. For example, there are gold and books on the ground, which one do you pick up? When others get rich, Feng's eyes are hot and his brain is crooked, and he is determined to go into business. But he knows nothing about it. What can he do? China people want to make money, the first thing that comes to mind is to open a restaurant. People take food as the sky, and people take food as the sky; Three meals a day, if you don't eat your legs, you will be weak. All the money will be given to the restaurant owner. All the money in Tianjin is in the hands of businessmen, and most business contacts are at the dinner table. Besides, Tianjin produces salt, the food is heavy, and Ningbo food is salty, which is right for the taste. Wu Ye Yu Feng made up his mind to open a Ningbo-style restaurant, so he built a house in the downtown area of Majiakou and named it "Zhuangyuan Building". Choose an auspicious day, hold a plaque, burn a whip, shoot a gun, and the restaurant will open. Feng, dressed in a purple-blue gown with a pure gold watch chain hanging on his chest, was separated from China and India, covered in oil, and dressed as an authentic boss, standing in the hall to welcome guests and cope with all directions. A person who studies well, pays attention to etiquette, talks well and is very popular. Besides, Zhuangyuan Building is the only Ningbo Pavilion in Tianjin, and the fish and shrimp in the sea are all Tianjin people's delicacies, which can satisfy their desire. When cooking in Ningbo, they are fresher than live fish and shrimp. Therefore, since its opening, it has been full every day and has to "roll over" at night. After a long time, I didn't make much money. Feng wondered that handfuls of money and flocks of birds flew in every day. Where did it all fall? Look back at the account, alas, lost! One day, a waiter who came to Ningbo as a helper told him with trepidation that the chicken, duck and fish in the kitchen had limited access to the guests' mouths, and most of them were cut off and thrown out by the cooks, and someone was waiting outside. How much money can Zhuangyuanlou bear to be thrown out every day? After Feng was furious, he thought, "Twenty-four histories" are all memorized, so there is no way to take this group of dishes. This is an operation. Except for the fat cook brought from my hometown in Ningbo, the rest of the guys were blown away, uprooted and replaced. The backyard wall was equipped with a power grid, thinking that everything would be fine from now on, but the account was still lost. What happened? Another day, a woman living near Zhuangyuan Building told him quietly that every afternoon when the garbage truck arrived, she would ring the bell and beat seven or eight earth boxes carried out from Zhuangyuan Building. There is only a thin layer of garbage on the top, and there are tin cans, whole bags of salted fish, good wine and cigarettes on the bottom. It turns out that internal and external collusion got things away in this way. Isn't this the same as carrying money out with a clay box every day? In the afternoon, when Feng took out the garbage, he went to check it out, and sure enough. In a rage, change to another person. People have changed, but the book deficit has not changed. Master Feng doesn't believe that he is incompetent. Staring at the restaurant every day, I can't see anything wrong. Literati live by imagination and really fall into the kaleidoscope of life, that is, "smart people are really fools." Zhuangyuanlou broke the ball, vented his anger and exposed the wind, and fell down at sight. Buying and selling racing drivers, relying on one person to live and vent, no one can do anything. The fewer guests, the fewer guests; Oil and water have no oil, man. Break up. Sometimes the dining room is only half lit. Master Feng was only a little dissatisfied. The next day, the boy around him told him that it was rumored that the biggest thief in Zhuangyuan Building was none other than the fat cook brought from his hometown. It is said that he is addicted to stealing, stealing every day, stealing all the time, stealing nothing, stealing something every night when he comes home, and stealing so high that he will never find out. Feng refused to believe that the fat cook cooked for his father, and the fat cook's father cooked for his grandfather. His roots have already taken root in the Feng family. If he is a thief, who is not a thief? However, after doing business for two years, Feng saw more fake smiles than real ones, heard more lies than the truth, and gained more hearts. That night, when the Zhuangyuan Building turned off the lights and closed, Master Feng took the boy to the front hall of the restaurant, moved a cane chair, put it in a ventilated place, and lay on his back, saying it was cool, but it was really a thief. Before long, the fat cook turned off the fire, hit the kitchen and was about to go home. He was naked and covered in meat, wearing only a pair of big white underpants, a pair of worn-out cloth shoes, a sweat towel on his shoulders and a paper lamp in his hand. When he saw the boss, he was not in a hurry to leave, but stood and talked. The contest said, "Open your eyes and see! Feng accosted him in his mouth, but a pair of sharp eyes like literati looked him up and down, thinking-where is this bald man hiding? You can't put a pack of cigarettes in a broken shoe! Lanterns are bright and bright. If you put some in, you can show them all. Although the underpants are big, you can still see the outline of thighs and buttocks clearly when the wind blows back and forth in the hall. What else can there be? Is there anything wrapped in the towel to wipe the sweat on your shoulders? I have doubts. Before he could say, the fat cook had taken the sweat towel off his shoulder and threw it to the boy. He said, "It's cold outside. What should I do with this big towel? Please put it on the clothesline in the backyard! Say goodbye to Feng and leave with a lantern. "。 Master Feng told the boy to open the towel. There was nothing in it. He almost wronged a good man. But the next day, the boy found the flowers made by the fat cook on the lantern last night. It turns out that the lamp holder for inserting foreign wax is not made of wood, but rotated with a piece of frozen meat, weighing two pounds! But people turned on the light right under Feng's nose and carried it away grandly. What a surprise! After hearing this, Feng didn't speak for three days, and closed the Zhuangyuan Building on the fourth day. It is suggested that he go back to Wen Yuan to continue his studies. He shook his head and sighed. When you study, you should trust books. He doesn't even know the ability of people who study or don't study, so how can he still study?
Antique shops have natural enemies, namely fake paintings and fake paintings. People who make fake paintings try their best to deceive those sharp and sharp eyes who look at fake paintings; However, people who look at fake paintings see through the mystery and tricks with these eyes, grab the tip of the tail that the counterfeiter didn't hide, pull it out of a pile of paintings and hang it in broad daylight. People who look at fake paintings are called blue eyes. I work in Yu Chenggong antique shop in Guodian Street, specializing in painting. Blue eyes are not blue. His surname is Jiang and his original name is Zaitang. Blue eyes is his nickname. Tianjin people have a nice nickname, one is called, and the other is recorded. These blue eyes come from his short-sighted glasses. The lens is thick and You Lan, which really matches a pair of blue eyes. The key to this blue eye is still in his eye. It is said that he can see the truth by turning off the lights and looking at the picture; Although the text is a bit mysterious, it is not adulterated. His blue eyes are really amazing when painting-looking at fake paintings, his eyes are dull; Look at the real painting, a blue light. On this day, a man who is learning to dress up came to the store with a photo in his hand. The inscription on the outside reads "Spring Color Map of Dadizi Lake". Blue eyes seem to have missed it. He knew that no matter what was written on the inscription, it didn't count. It depended on the painting. He brushed the floor and pulled it like lightning, revealing a half-foot painting heart. This is the famous "half-foot job" of Blue Eye. He only looks at paintings within half a foot, no matter how big they are. Whether it's true or not, take this half-foot painting and never look at it again. Blue eyes face a half-foot-long painting, and glasses are flashing blue light. He looked up and asked the newcomer, "How much are you going to sell?" The newcomer was not in a hurry to ask for the price, but said, "I heard that Huang San Ye in the west also copied this painting." Huang San Ye is the first master of fake painting in Guinness. Everyone in the antique shop is afraid of him. Unexpectedly, Blue Eye didn't listen to the match and said again, "There has never been any Huang San Ye in my eyes. Tell me how much you plan to sell this painting. " "Two." The newcomer said. These two pieces are twenty taels of gold. The asking price is not low, nor too high. You push me a little on both sides, and the deal will be eighteen taels. From this day on, the antique shop in Jinmen said that Yu of Guodian Street successfully bought a large water stone with a long inscription on it, which was very rare. Some people say that this thing comes from a palace in Beijing. The person who came to sell paintings was not very good at painting, but Blue Eye caught him red-handed. Spend a lot of money and things will be easy. Such fine polyester has not been seen in Tianjin antique shop for ten years. At that time, there were no newspapers, and the mouth was the media. The more you talk about it, the wider it will spread. There are always groups of people coming to see the paintings, which has almost become a silk shop. Enough about the things in the world, and then start talking. About three months later, people began to say that the successful polyester was unreliable. At first glance, it's quite bluffing, but after reading it several times, it's all thin soup and water, and I have no spirit. The difference between true and false paintings is that the real painting can stand the sight, but the fake painting can't stand it. After this word spread, the news came out-some people said that this painting was a fake of western Huang San Ye! Isn't this equivalent to throwing a basin of dirty water on someone's blue-eyed robe? Blue eyes have roots, ignore them. The more you ignore it, the more mysterious it becomes. Later, he said it had a nose and eyes. It is said that someone saw the original in a person's home in Shenzhen Street. Then, one by one, people went to the successful antique shop to see the paintings, but this time they wanted to see how Huang San Ye could cover his blue eyes. Seeing talented people stumble is always the most fascinating thing! Mr. Tong, our boss, was a little hairy and said to Blue Eye, "I believe in your eyesight, but I can't hold back the gossip outside, which makes our shop noisy all day." Let's ask someone where the painting is. If you really have an identical painting, you should try to show it and distinguish the true from the false, so it will look taller. "Blue eyes can recognize the boss's lack of confidence, but unless you do what the boss says and show the truth and falsehood together, no one can help it. People make trouble in the dark and win in the light. Boss Tong calls you Xiaowu. You Xiaowu is Tianjin Wei's hamster. He drills everywhere and can touch anything with his ears. They sent you Xiaowu to inquire, and there will be news the next day. It turns out that there is really another Dadi, also called "Hu Caitu", and it is really a Cui family in Shenzhen Street! Boss Tong and Blue Eye don't know who this Cui family is. Boss Tong asked you to show your blue eyes to Xiaowu. Blue eyes can't help but go. When I arrived at the house, two blue lights flashed through the glass brush. Stupid! This is a real painting. The one in the shop is fake! These two paintings are the same in size, color and picture, and even the seals are imitations. But the air is different-look, this is really air! He doesn't know how to hit him in the eye. At this time, facing this painting, I really want to be buried. He has been watching it for twenty years. His blue eyes became gods in the antique shop. No one does not believe that what he said is true, and what he said is false. But this time, it was a mistake, spread out and ruined. It's no problem to see whether the painting is true or not, and it's no problem to see it for a lifetime. If you make a mistake, you will jump into the end. He didn't make a sound I went back to the store and told the boss the truth. Success and blue eyes are linked together, and they should all be planted. Boss Tong thought about it all night. With an idea, I decided to buy Cui's big polyester shaft, even though the price was high. Both paintings are in your hands, and it's up to you to decide which is true or false. However, they can never show up, so they hired another person, pretending to be a buyer, and followed You Xiaowu to Cui's house to buy this scroll painting. Unexpectedly, the beginning of Cui's surname is sky-high. Or you can keep it for yourself. I'm afraid to buy things and not sell them at the same time. However, this person who pretends to be a buyer has a bottom in his heart, because when he comes, Huang Ba has something to say to him, "Even if you smash my shop, you have to buy me the painting. "I gave in again and again, and finally spent seven gold coins to buy it, which is more than twice as expensive as the shaft I bought earlier. After bringing this scroll painting, Tong's boss was relieved. Although he was worried about money, he kept a successful brand. He asked the guys to hang the two-axis paintings side by side on the wall and have a good look. When hanging a picture, blue eyes look forward and glasses brush flashes three times. People really stood there with sticks. Everything is normal and strange-the original is true, and the one just bought is fake! If you don't compare the true and false together, you can't tell the true and false at all-this is the skill of others to fake paintings and the highest skill! But blue eyes are long, aren't they? Navel? Blue eyes almost closed in one breath. Three days later, he connected the whole story, and then he realized that all this was a trap set by Huang San Ye in the dark. I told you step by step to go in. People sell real paintings without losing money, and fake paintings sell higher than the sky. It suddenly occurred to him that the dressed scholar who came to sell the painting for the first time didn't tell him that "Huang San Ye also copied this painting"? People have already made it clear that this painting is true or false. Let's see who's to blame for hitting the eye. It seems that this Huang San Ye is not only for money, but only for himself. You are told to keep the real painting in your hand and then buy the fake one he made. Well done! When he understands this layer, he will understand that he is home and will eventually fall! From here on, blue eyes rolled up their sleeves and left success. Since then, not only did Tianjin antique shops like him, but even the shadow of Tianjin disappeared from the ground. Some people said that he was very ill, so he lay down and never got up again. What a terrible planting! Think again, he has worse-he lost to Huang San Ye, but only saw Huang San Ye's handwriting, and he didn't know his face! Fortunately, he finally thought of Huang San Ye's skill. Die clearly.
In the tourist resort of Kinmen, there are many talents. Here, two masters selling tea and soup make this ordinary street snack famous. These two, a fat, dark-skinned, wussy, named Elgin; A thin and smart person is called Yang Ba. Yang Qi Yang Ba, two competitive brothers, actually have no relatives or friends, but their fathers are all surnamed Yang. Yang Ba, whose real name is Yang Ba, is homophonic with "Ba" and younger than Yang Qi, so people mistakenly think that he is Yang Qi's brother. However, to say that their cooperation is like a right-hand man, not a brother. Yang Qi's skill is very high, and he can make it as long as he works hard. Yang Ba has a good eloquence and specializes in nursing the outfield. Although these two men are both bosses and buddies, they are more prosperous than big business. The key to Yang Qi's good craftsmanship lies in his unique skills. Generally, glutinous rice noodles are soaked in tea soup, and a pinch of sesame seeds is sprinkled on the floating head, so that the fragrance is only on the surface, and the more you drink it, the less it tastes. Yang Qi has a brilliant idea. He first filled half a bowl of glutinous rice noodles, then sprinkled sesame seeds once, then filled half a bowl of glutinous rice noodles, and sprinkled sesame seeds once after brewing. In this way, until you see the bottom of the bowl, it smells good. His other unique skill is that sesame seeds need not be whole, first fried in an iron pan and then crushed with a rolling pin. Crushed, the fragrance inside can come out. Sesame must be fried brown and not paste, not yellow and not fragrant, too paste will be bitter; Crushed sesame seeds should be moderate in thickness, too thick to chew, too thin to chew. This job can't be learned if others know it clearly. The craftsman's ability is all in his hands, and the truth is similar to writing and drawing. However, no matter how high the craft is, no matter how good the thing is, you have to rely on people to blow it when you enter the industry. Three points live, seven points say, the dead say live, broken goods become good goods, and most of the efforts of buyers and sellers are on the lips. To take part in accidental amusement, versatile, have it both ways, also pointed to Yang Ba's good mouth. At that time, Li Hongzhang came to Tianjin, and the local counties and counties made great efforts. What kind of food and drink can make nave happy? Beijing giants, delicacies are not fresh, they are fresh local snacks, but Tianjin-style snacks are too thick and too earthy: boiling small fishbones is easy to get stuck in the throat; The fried dough sticks are hard and hard, and they can't take off their teeth. After pondering for three days, it is difficult to make a decision. Fortunately, the county magistrate was originally a figure walking around the streets on the ground. After eating them all, he recommended "Yangjia Tea Soup". Tea soup is soft and sweet, delicious and safe, and all officials weigh it together, which is the reason why Yangba made a fortune. At noon that day, Li listened to the local minor "Lotus Falling", which was full of enthusiasm and joy. He soaked in hot urine, feeling refreshed and wanting to eat snacks. The magistrate quickly called "seven Yang eight" to offer tea soup. Today, for the first time since they came to this world, they are completely new inside and outside. They are wearing blue trousers, white scarves and white socks, and their hands are as clean as a layer of soda. Both of them hold the tea soup to the table in front of Li, and then stand five steps back together, hanging their hands, saying that they are at your command, but in fact they want a generous reward. Li was about to taste the famous Guinness. When his fingertips touched the edge of the bowl, his eyes fell into the bowl, his eyebrows suddenly wrinkled and clouds rose on his face. Suddenly, he dropped a bowl of tea soup on the ground, and the broken porcelain flew about, and the tea soup spilled all over the floor, still steaming. The officials present were stunned, and Yang Qi and Yang Ba hurriedly knelt down. No one knows why Lord nave is angry. Officials are more confused than one, which shows Yang Ba's understanding. With a wink, he immediately guessed that nave had never drunk tea soup before, and he didn't know what the sesame seeds scattered on his head were. It is taken for granted that it is a dirty thing that fell accidentally, otherwise there will be such a big anger. But in this way, the problem comes-if this is sesame seeds, not dirty things, it doesn't mean that nave adults are ignorant and have no knowledge? If you don't explain, isn't it tantamount to admitting to eating dirty things for nave's adult? Whether you say it or not, you will be beaten and then lose your job. The most important thing at the moment is not to let Li say dirty. What adults say can't be changed. You must think quickly and succeed. Yang Ba's brain quickly turned two turns and three turns, and the idea came! I saw his head hit the ground, and the mountain rang, and he shouted, "My Lord in the main hall, calm down! I don't know. nave doesn't like crushed sesame seeds. It's annoying to adults. Adults don't remember villains. Forgive villains this time. In the future, I will definitely repent! " Say that finish is another XiangTou. Li realized that the yellow dregs on the tea soup just now were not dirty things, but broken sesame seeds. After understanding, I think, Tianjin Wei is at the bottom of Jiujiang, and he is knowledgeable and skillful in business. The boy selling tea and soup is more alert. He saw at a glance that he regarded sesame as dirt, but in a few words he made himself understand and gave himself face. This cleverness is absolutely absent in the middle of the county road in front of me, so he fell in love with Yang Ba and said, "He who doesn't know is innocent! Although I don't like to eat crushed sesame seeds (he also went downhill), your tea soup is very famous in Tianjin and should be rewarded! Somebody, give me a hundred taels of silver! " Gal, call someone scratching their heads in the place. I don't like tea and soup, but I won a lot of money. Why? Are you stupid? Yang Ba prone on the ground, kowtowing assiduously to give thanks, the in the mind head is very clear. Since then, Yangba has gained great fame in Tianjin. The "Yangjia Tea Soup" was also renamed as "Yangba Tea Soup". Elgin gradually buried, no one knows. Yang Ba has no guilt about this, because his fame depends on his good mouth, and Li didn't drink tea and soup!
Pubs are also divided into three or six categories. The pub on Shoushan Street is the last one. No cover, no name, no seat in the room; There are no vegetables on the counter, only a can of wine. Those who come to drink are the bottom people who carry live cars and sell coolies. Some people have a piece of sausage head in their hands, and some people have a handful of spiced peanuts in their pockets. When you enter the door, you will go to two or three restaurants and drink Taiwan independence by the corner window. When people are crowded, they take the wine bowl out of the door and watch the tree pour a little more wine into their mouths. That's what it feels like to satisfy your cravings!
This pub only sells one kind of wine, which makes sweet potatoes dry, cheap and strong. Cats kept in Shoushan Street never get lost. If they get lost, they will follow the smell of wine to find it. This wine doesn't talk about aftertaste, only about momentum and water in the mouth. You have to swallow it quickly, or you will burn your tongue, mouth, teeth and throat. But as soon as I fell into my stomach, I jumped up with my hands and hit my head, feeling dizzy and full of energy. On the eve of the Olympic Games, the kind of firecrackers that "hit the lights with guns" lit up and the red light went straight into the sky. This wine is called "cannon lighting" Good wine should be warm and long, and never go to the top. But the poor earn a day's life, tired and depressed. Isn't it because they don't spend much money that they get excited and dizzy immediately?
To say the most free and easy, or a few wine wives. Every noon, the old woman will definitely come to the pub, dressed in rags, and compete with beggars; His hair is messy and his face is dark. No one can tell what she looks like, let alone her last name, but they all know that she is the number one alcoholic in this pub and is regarded as a drinking girl. As soon as she entered the door, as usual, she took out a small square cloth bag from her pocket and opened it. There is a newspaper bag in it. Sometimes the newspaper is new and sometimes it is old. Open the newspaper bag. It is a tissue paper bag with an emerald pin inside. When I opened the tissue paper bag again, I found that it was only twenty cents. She took the money and put it on the counter. As usual, the boss handed over most bowls of "gun lights". She took the wine bowl, raised her hand and raised her neck. As soon as the bottom of the bowl was turned over, the wine poured straight into her stomach, like a bucket. As soon as this woman's feet leave the threshold, she will race on the ground and draw a gobbledygook.
She staggered all the way to the north and walked out of the boundary of 100. It's a crossroads, with cars coming and going, and accidents often happen. Don't worry about this woman. Look at her. She was drunk as a fiddler, but every time she got to the intersection, she would surely wake up with a plop. She will cross the street without being drunk. She does this every day and never fails. People in Shoushan Street love to watch the drunken steps of the wine girl-swinging up and down, slanting left and right, and leisurely spinning Le Tao Tao, which looks like a lotus leaf swaying in the wind; On rainy days, when raindrops fall on us, we will fight for a big umbrella that rotates slowly ... but why do alcoholics get drunk as soon as they get to the intersection? Is it because the cannon is so energetic, or is it because the wine girl has superhuman ability to wake up when she is drunk?
The trick of wine is still in the jar. The boss is a traitor, mixing water in the wine. Alcoholics are vague about the world in their eyes, but they know all about the wine in their bellies, but no one will break this paper, even if they drink beautifully. If the boss is wicked, he will get what he deserves. He is nearly sixty years old, has no children, and will probably die. But one day, the proprietress loves to eat hot and sour, and she is actually happy! When the boss kowtowed to the Buddha, he moved his conscience and vowed to be an honest man in the future, selling wine honestly and never adding water to wine again.
On this day, the wine girl came to this pub. As usual, she took out her bag as soon as she entered the door, opened it layer by layer, spent money on wine, raised her hand and lifted her neck, and poured fake "cannon light" into her stomach ... The real thing is the real thing. This time, before the wine girl went out, people wandered around. Today, in order to look good, she rocked all the way, shaking her upper body to the left and her lower body to the right, which became more and more powerful. At first, she was a Dapeng bird in the wind, but later people who competed in Shoushan Street in the dark whirlpool were surprised and puzzled. Without much thought, the wine girl has reached the intersection, but she didn't wake up. She strolled into the main road for the first time, not to mention the tragedy below. ...
Since then, the wine girl has disappeared from this street. People in the bar talk about her from time to time. Said she was a real qualified alcoholic. She doesn't like to eat when she drinks, but she wolfs down as usual. She doesn't want to satisfy her desire, just want the strength of the wine. Doing nothing in pubs, not gossiping, paying for drinks, leaving after drinking, and never taking credit. A real drunkard enjoys himself and won't mess around with others.
Hearing this, the boss suddenly thought that the day when the wine girl had an accident was not the day when she didn't adulterate the wine. It turned out that the curse was on him, so he opened it awkwardly, thinking that the truth of this world was really indescribable. Is lying wrong or telling the truth wrong? Otherwise, why do you cheat people for decades with fake wine, but they live a plain life and drink beautifully, but once they get serious, they lose everything?
Formerly known as Zhang, and Jinmen, he is brave and good at fighting, so he is called Dali. Men and women in Tianjin like him, admire him and praise him. But Tianjin people have their own way of praising others. There is such a thing in Zhang Dali that everyone knew it at that time, but no one knows it now, so I wrote it below-
The shop that sells stone at home is called Cheng Ju. There is a heavy bluestone lock at the gate, and the lock handle is also stone. This lock is engraved with a line:
Whoever can open this lock will be rewarded with one hundred and twenty pieces of silver.
The purpose of setting this stone lock is nothing more than to prove that its stone is durable.
However, the stone lock is lying here, and no one can lift it, or even make it move a little. How much do you think it weighs? Well, it sticks to the earth's crust unless you lift the ground to your head! One day, when Zhang Dali came home, he saw the lock and the words on it. He leaned forward, reached out and asked, shook it gently, and shook out a bamboo basket, which attracted many people to watch. I saw him holding the lock handle, his waist was stiff, and he easily lifted the big stone lock into the air. Arms straight, smiling, holding a bouquet of flowers!
They cheered and shouted, and Zhang Dali held the stone lock, but he didn't put it down. He didn't put the stone lock back until the boss came out to see it clearly. The boss came over and said with a smile:
"Originally, teacher zhang is here. Please come in and have a cup of tea! "
Hearing this, the Zhang Dali said seriously, "Boss, don't compare your stone lock with mine. It says, whoever can lift it will be rewarded with one hundred and twenty pieces of silver, and you should bring the money quickly. I am still busy! "
Unexpectedly, the boss who got together ignored Zhang Dali's words. Zhang Dali said slowly, "Teacher Zhang, you only saw the words on the stone lock, but there is a line under the stone lock. Did you see it? "
Zhang Dali dazed for a moment. I was just so happy that I didn't see any words under the lock. Not only did he not see it, but no one else did. Zhang Dali turned his head, thinking that the boss was scaring him and didn't want to give him money. He thought he had tried hard once and couldn't lift it anymore, so he went up and held the stone lock above his head. He looked up, and there really was a line under the stone lock, which read:
But Zhang Dali's move doesn't count.
Connect the words above and below this stone lock, that is:
Whoever lifts this lock will be rewarded with one hundred and twenty pieces of silver, but Zhang Dali's lifting doesn't count!
Everyone laughed when they saw it. As it turns out, people know that only he can lift this guy. And this line is that people admire themselves and praise themselves-Zhang Dali certainly understands it.
He threw away the stone lock and left with a smile.
Landlord, some words are over 9999, please let me reply to you.
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