In fact, you just love love itself.

Love. A term that neither the most thoughtful philosophers nor the most experienced psychologists can fully explain.

You can’t touch it, see it, or hear it. But it is a real existence, existing in every corner, the place closest to you, just one step away. It is one of the scariest emotions and also one of the sweetest feelings. It can make or break a person. It can change a person beyond recognition, and of course it can also restore a person to his original state.

Sugar cane, my best friend. I call him Gancan because he is thin, handsome, sweet, and especially good at coaxing girls. Taozi, his ex-girlfriend. As the name suggests, the person is tender and mellow, and has a pleasant voice.

Their story can be described very appropriately in eight words as ‘complicated, falling in love and killing each other’.

It is the peach that sugar cane chases. Gancane is a playboy, he loves to play, make trouble and get bored. But I don’t know why I fell in love with peach, which is as white as paper.

In my eyes, he has always treated women as disposable items. To use his original words, "One freshness is enough. Except for water, I will let you eat the same thing every day. Do you want to vomit?" I have tried to refute, but his high-powered remarks always left me speechless.

Until that day, he came to me and said, 'Hey, I feel like I'm in love.' I turned my head, curled my lips and said, 'When did you stop falling in love? Is there anything new you can say? ’

After teasing him, I smiled and waited for his counterattack. But it was strange that I didn't hear a reply, so I turned my head back and saw him staring in one direction.

What are you looking at? I muttered. Still ignored me. But to this day, I still remember his eyes, which were serious, simple, and bright.

This piqued my curiosity. I looked in that direction, and there was only one girl there, wearing white clothes, white pants, and a big ponytail. Very clean. It was too far away to see clearly.

Later I found out that this girl was Tao Zi.

When we formally met Tao Zi, Tao Zi was already Gan Cane’s girlfriend.

Seeing peaches clearly for the first time. Not tall, not fat. She is very delicate, with big eyes, and her fair and tender skin is slightly reddish. The voice is very soft and soft, but not sweet. Not the glamorous type, but lovable enough. But what puzzled me was that she didn't wear any makeup at all.

I pulled Sugar Cane aside and asked jokingly. You kid, have you changed your taste? Your girlfriend doesn’t even put on makeup? This is not your style, isn’t that what you like? Stop harming other people's little girls.

After saying that, he kicked me in the butt. He angrily yelled at me, "Fuck off, I really like this one. It's different from those. You know what the heck, I'm serious this time." It only took me a month to chase her. Is it easy? ’ I smiled and said nothing. In my mind, although it is hard for me to imagine that he would spend a month chasing girls. But still don't think he is serious.

But this time, I was really wrong. He is serious, really serious. It can be said that I spent all my time and energy on Tao Zi. He loves to play, but when Taozi doesn't let him play, he stops playing. He has a lot of female friends, but Taozi doesn't let him contact them, so he really stops contacting them. It's always sweet at first, but slowly the taste changes.

Gang Cane changed from a playboy to a warm man. Later, in my eyes, he was Taozi's father, driver, nanny, chef, photographer, and psychological counselor, but the weakest person in my mind was her boyfriend. They didn't have sex from the beginning to the end, because Taozi said it hurt, and it was just a side effect at most.

It’s time to talk about peaches. Tao Zi's family conditions are good, she is an only child. My parents have loved me since I was little. It looks small and weak, but it is not. She has a serious case of princess disease, and because of her affluent living conditions and overprotective parents, she is not familiar with worldly affairs and does not know how to be considerate and caring about others. She feels that everything is as it should be. She is very playful and loves to abuse people. Sometimes as a bystander, I can't stand it.

But Sugar Cane really loves her. During that time, whenever Ganzhe felt tired and came to talk to me. That’s what I say the most. She is still young and doesn't understand many things, but she will get better over time. This is her first time in love, I should be nicer to her, she will understand.

She makes trouble and acts because she cares about me and loves me.

They were in love for nearly two years and broke up no less than thirty times. Every time it was Sugar Cane, who tried every means to desperately beg to get her back. Taozi splashed water on Cane's face in front of everyone in the coffee shop. I went to Mobile, pulled out Sugar Cane’s communication records, and checked them one by one. Because he found a girl, he slapped Sugar Cane on the road. There are so many stories like that.

Eventually they separated. It was Sugar Cane who proposed the breakup. He told me, 'He's really tired and can't hold on any longer. He did everything he could think of to love her, but nothing could change. ’

Later, Gan Cane never contacted Tao Zi again. But it seems that Taozi regretted it. She left a message on Ganzhe's Weibo, saying that she would wait for him and so on. The sugar cane went to the United States, and the peaches went to Canada. Both men began to live their own lives.

Because of the loneliness abroad, Ganzhe found a girlfriend and treated her very well. But I can only say that it is very good. I picked out some of the ones I have used on peaches before and used them. At that time, Gancan would always laugh at himself. Others say that I am a good man, good at taking care of my girlfriend, and treat my girlfriend well. But there are no real good men who just use what they have learned from other women. This is just experience, not love.

One day I received a call from Gancan. The other end of the phone told me calmly that he had broken up again. He felt that he still liked peaches, could not forget peaches, and loved peaches the most. He said that he called Taozi and she was still single, but he had no intention of being with her again.

The days went by as usual, Ganzhe continued to talk about those dispensable loves, but there was no more news about Taozi. Last year I heard from a friend that Taozi was in love. I wanted to call Gancan and ask what happened. But I just picked up the phone and put it down again. He smiled bitterly, thinking what would happen if he asked him, it would only increase his troubles.

I always thought that these two people would never have any intersection again. As a result, this summer brought me new stories.

That day, Ganzhe called me at 7 o'clock in the morning. I was still sleeping, and he said six words, and Taozi and I fell asleep. My whole body was like thunder, what the hell. But I could hear the disappointment and lowness in his tone. I thought to myself that this shouldn't happen. We didn't achieve it when we were together, but now that we have achieved it, he should be happy because of his bitch character. He said hurriedly, come out for tea in the afternoon and talk to me? Gancan said a nice word and hung up the phone.

In the afternoon, it was raining outside, and I came to this place where we often meet. This is a cafe, by a river. When I walked in, there was no customer, only the familiar proprietress. The landlady is a passionate young woman who loves to talk nonsense with us. She pointed upstairs and said, I don’t think the sugar cane is right. Going upstairs, he sat alone by the window, tilting his head and looking out the window.

I felt the strange atmosphere. Wanting to break the atmosphere, I sat down with a smile and said to him. The dream you have had for so many years has been completed, are you still not happy? Still pretending to be serious? Stop pretending and share your feelings with me.

He turned his head and said nothing. Just looked at me quietly. I saw his eyes, filled with bloodshot eyes, loss, pain, struggle, and confusion. I suddenly choked and felt like my throat was blocked by something, and I couldn't say a word.

There was silence for nearly two or three minutes. He took a sip of something and finally spoke. That voice is still unforgettable, so hoarse that it sounded like a ghost crawling out of hell.

I understand the whole story. He still didn't have sex with Tao Zi, he just lay on the same bed and slept all night. no skin ship (no physical contact).

It turned out that Tao Zi took the initiative to contact Gan Cane. Tao Zi didn’t know where she got the contact information from, and Gan Cane had already deleted all her contact information. Tao Zi asked Gan Cane to come out and get together, and Gan Cane agreed. They went to a quiet bar and had some drinks. Later, Gan Cane sent Tao Zi back to the hotel, and Tao Zi asked Gan Cane to stay with her. He said yes and sat on the sofa. Taozi took a bath and told him to go to bed and rest. He knew that Taozi had a boyfriend. Although he loved to play, he had never touched a woman with a man. But because he felt that he still liked Taozi, he listened to her, just like before. When he got into bed, he just took off his shoes and didn't even take off his socks, let alone his clothes.

But later, Taozi's actions and words broke the last trace of his so-called remaining love. Taozi said, "Let's do it once, and it will satisfy you and make up for the regrets in the past." ’ Tao Zi also wanted to take the initiative to untie Gan Cane’s clothes. Sugar Cane did not agree. He said that he was tired, drank too much and wanted to sleep. A pillow was placed between the two of them to separate them.

In fact, he didn't sleep all night. He knew that people would change, but Tao Zi, whom he loved so much, was arrogant and arrogant, but she was as pure as paper. How could it become like this? All of a sudden, the fantasy of love that he had retained for many years was shattered.

I listened to what he had to say. After thinking for a while, I said something to him that I often say to myself.

‘Don’t live in the love you weave. In fact, what you miss is just the feeling of your lover and the love itself. If you think you still love him, it's because you gave, got hurt, and left scars. Then I became timid and didn’t dare to love anymore. Even if I find more girlfriends, I will be cautious and not dare to get emotional again. So you think she is the one you love the most, and you feel you can't forget her. But when you find out that she has changed, you wonder why she is different from what you thought. To put it simply, what you love is her at that time, the pure her, not her as a person. It may be contradictory to say this, but the truth is so cruel. You are nostalgic and miss your devotion to her and the feeling of loving her. In fact, you just miss that period of your own willingness, that period of unforgettable love, not this person. Even if it is another person, not Taozi, it will make no difference to you. Love is blind, love cannot be compared, love needs to be forgotten. Because you always compare your current relationship with Tao Zi's, that's why you have these so-called illusions. You no longer love her, it's just that you haven't met the next person you can fall in love with. ’

When I finished saying this, he fell silent again. Because I had something to do, I left the coffee shop first.

I haven’t contacted him for a long time, almost half a year. Because of my busy schedule, the last time I contacted him, he told me that he planned to stay single and wait for the person he truly loves. Hope he can find someone he loves.

Anyway. We may all need to taste the ups and downs of love before we can truly understand this word. In the process of experiencing this, you may laugh or cry. However, firmly believe that there will always be someone who loves you. The person you love is waiting for you there, not far away and within reach. Don't compare, learn to let go, and stop living in the love you weave. Love the one you love, don't be greedy for love itself.