As the saying goes, "Children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren's blessings", and the next sentence is Jin Dian. What is this?

"Children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren's blessings" comes from an allusion:

According to legend, there was a scholar named Luo in the Ming Dynasty who had to stay away from his family to be a teacher in other places because of frustration in the examination room.

During Luo Xiucai's absence, all the housework fell on his wife's shoulders, but the wife who was born in a good family was not good at housework, so she had to ask her son to help manage the family.

A few years later, Luo Xiucai went home for the New Year. Seeing that my son is 7 years old, I plan to send him to school, so I want to test him.

Luo Xiucai pointed to the sky to let his son turn over a new leaf, but his son only does housework on weekdays and never touches the couple. His mother pointed to the ground to give him a hint, but accidentally pointed to the chicken shit on the ground. My son thought he had the answer and casually said the word "chicken shit".

Luo Xiucai cried out and asked his son "Dad" what he wanted. His mother pointed at himself and hinted at his son. But what the son sees is milk, so he calls "father" with "milk". When Luo Xiucai saw it, he felt disheartened and became a monk.

Since then, Luo Xiucai's wife has carefully taught her son in her spare time and saved money for a famous teacher. After some education, my son made rapid progress and became a top student in high school.

To thank his mother, his son decided to celebrate his mother's birthday. Hearing this, Luo Xiucai hurried home to visit. When he saw the son of the champion, he wrote a poem on the wall:

I won't accept rice for 1000 yuan when I leave my hometown for 18 autumn.

Children and grandchildren have their own blessings, so don't be their cattle and horses.

Children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren, which is the continuation of parents' blood. Poverty inherits the wind, and parents want their children to become phoenix, and the latter wave surpasses the previous one. Some parents transfer unfinished goals to their children and want them to reach the missed destination.

In this way, parents' demands and constraints are imposed on their children, regardless of their wishes and voices.

In the forty-eighth episode of A Dream of Red Mansions, Xue Pan decided to go out to do business with his partner Zhang Dehui. Aunt Xue was filled with joy, but she was afraid that he would cause trouble outside and refused to let him go.

Later, Xue Baochai's words were not only an exhortation to Aunt Xue, but also advice to parents all over the world.

Xue Baochai said that it is not necessarily a bad thing for her brother Xue Pan to go out for training. He's out there, and there's no one to rely on. Who's afraid of who? If he has food, he will be hungry. If he really gets rid of idleness, it will be a blessing in his life; If you don't change it, no one can think of another way. Half manpower, half fate.

"Children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren" is here. "Happiness" refers not only to good luck and luck, but also to life experience.

Everyone is unique, and everyone has his own destiny and life track. Parents' forced intervention in their children is tantamount to drawing a gourd, but how many identical gourds can there be?

Therefore, parents may wish to learn to let go of their children, and there may be unexpected joy.

Just like that story, without Luo Xiucai's intervention and face-to-face instruction, his son still lived up to expectations and became a top student in the new high school, realizing Luo Xiucai's dream that has never been realized.

This is a blessing for children and grandchildren, and luck is indispensable. Similarly, the suffering that should be there cannot be avoided.

Why is the next sentence "Don't be an ox or a horse for future generations" more classic? Since "children and grandchildren have their own blessings", parents had better "do nothing for their children and grandchildren", otherwise it is not only unnecessary but also unwilling.

People are independent and free individuals, even children and grandchildren are no exception.

It is human nature to yearn for freedom, and only with freedom can we show our true self. Instead of a self that is artificially packaged and lacks independent consciousness after being imprisoned by freedom, such a self will not feel happy, because the premise of happiness is that self-needs are met, and it is difficult for a self that violates human nature to be happy.

Parents act as horses or cows, killing the nature of their children and grandchildren and depriving them of their freedom and happiness.

There is a saying in "Red Glue on Manjiang Disturbs Labor and Life" that "children and grandchildren have their own blessings" and "children and grandchildren have their own blessings, so don't be cattle and horses for their children and grandchildren": it is inevitable that parents will have worries and troubles when they work for their children and grandchildren, and in the end, they will be "willing but unable to do so".

Parents are willing to work for their children and grandchildren, but they have expectations for their children and grandchildren.

Many troubles in life are caused by disappointed expectations. Therefore, when children and grandchildren are "out of control", there will inevitably be conflicts between parents and children, and the parent-child relationship will be tense.

However, parents are always parents, and children and grandchildren are always children and grandchildren. The two have just accompanied each other through a journey, and at the end of the journey, they will go their separate ways.

You are yourself, and no one can be anyone else.

Therefore, "don't be an ox or horse for your children and grandchildren" means telling parents not to pin their hopes on their children and grandchildren, to put down their obsession to transform their children and grandchildren, and to let go of the consciousness that "because I love you, you have to do what you want". Only by letting go of your children and grandchildren and yourself can you shift your focus to yourself and pay attention to your joys and sorrows. If you give up others, you will be happy, because there is no unwillingness, disappointment and regret to expect failure.