38-year-old leftover woman, I am beautiful. Why not give 300 thousand a bride price?

Jing M.Guo once wrote: "Love without substance is just a kind of powerless cover-up. When it is blown by the wind, even if it is not blown by the wind, it is a mess to walk slowly. "

Many women agree with what Jing M.Guo said. In their view, it is natural for women to care about and attach importance to material things.

It is true that love does need a certain material foundation, but it is wrong to be too materialistic and exaggerated.

Even in reality, many women use these as reasons for their high standards of mate selection, which seems to deviate from the correct values of marriage and love.

Too many girls in love quarrel and break up with their boyfriends because their material needs are not met, and often scold the man: "What kind of man are you?" On holidays, there are no gifts and no red envelopes for double eleven and double twelve. "

This phenomenon is becoming more and more common, and women tend to be more materialized.

Just like a lady I know, she went on a blind date after falling in love and still had high standards in choosing a spouse. In the end, not only did she not find the right person to marry, but she was also ridiculed by the blind date.

Therefore, I hope that individual women can understand that even if love needs material, material cannot be the only thing to choose a spouse. If marriage only depends on material support, it can only get superficial exquisiteness at best, and it is difficult to have real happiness.

0 1

Zhang Xiaoxiang (a pseudonym) is the daughter of a neighbor in my hometown. She is 38 years old, unmarried and single.

In fact, her state is still good. She was beautiful and smart since she was a child. After graduating from undergraduate course, she joined a company as an assistant. After working for two years, she was transferred to the business department as the deputy director, and a year later, she became the director.

Today, her monthly salary is about 50 thousand, and she is a very capable woman, working alone in a team.

However, when talking about feelings, she felt very wronged and talked about three boyfriends, all because of their incompatible personalities.

Xiaoxiang said that she really disliked her ex-boyfriend. They said she was too strong and material to bear.

In her opinion, she is not material at all. She usually has certain requirements for dress and life. This is the pursuit of life. Where are the materials?

Although she will spend thousands or even tens of thousands on a suit or skirt, it is necessary for her work. As an executive, must she dress like an ordinary woman?

Xiaoxiang said that in the final analysis, the three ex-boyfriends made these excuses because they felt that they were not worthy of her because of their poor conditions. It's just a pity that she wasted time, and now she is an older woman.

Xiaoxiang told me that she has been in love with her first three boyfriends for almost ten years, which is the most precious time for a woman. It's really not worth spending so many years with them.

Only the last boyfriend of two years gave her 88 thousand when she broke up as compensation for breaking up, and the rest were spent with them.

She also thought about not getting married, but she was urged to get married by her parents as soon as she got home. She is also very helpless.

Outside, she is a delicate strong woman, envied by countless colleagues, but when she returns home, she has become the object of discussion among her neighbors: "A leftover woman who can't get married."

Xiaoxiang said that every time she heard these words, her heart ached.

Therefore, Zhang Xiaoxiang started dating last year. I don't know how many blind date parties I have attended, but I have never found a suitable man.

What embarrassed her most was that a man I met on a blind date this year actually scolded her, which was really too unwilling.

The man's family conditions are ok, and his monthly salary is also 20,000 to 30,000, and his family is decent.

At that time, Zhang Xiaoxiang and the man had a good chat on a blind date, but when the man later took her to a nearby restaurant, there was a contradiction.

Zhang Xiaoxiang said that blind date men are really stingy. He only ordered three dishes at a meal, and she thought he was generous on the date.

Also, the man asked her what she wanted for marriage at dinner.

Zhang Xiaoxiang told him bluntly: "When you get married, you must have a new house with a bride price of 300,000 yuan, and you can't interfere with her work. She doesn't want children when she gets married. "

As a result, when she finished, the blind date man was not happy.

He said to Zhang Xiaoxiang, "You are too materialistic. At this age, you need 300 thousand bride price and a house Do you think you are a little girl? "

Zhang Xiaoxiang was particularly uncomfortable when he heard this. She said, "What's wrong with getting old? Besides, my conditions are not bad. Why can't I have a bride price and a house? "

The blind date man didn't act very impolite either. He said, "Maybe it's not appropriate for me to speak. I mean, we are all adults, so don't say anything unrealistic. If you can talk, live a good life and don't care too much about material things. Isn't it good to work together in marriage? "

However, Zhang Xiaoxiang disagreed with him. She said: "before marriage is before marriage, don't talk about marriage. You can't even meet my requirements before marriage, and you can't be happy when you get married. What cooperation did you say? "

Seeing that she was still so persistent, the man shook his head and said sarcastically, "You women are too materialistic. What man your age would give you such a condition? Don't think too highly of yourself. "

When this came out, Zhang Xiaoxiang was really angry. She retorted, "I'm not material. If you can't afford to marry yourself, then don't talk about women's material things. "

The man was excited by her and couldn't help asking, "Then where do you think you are worth 300 thousand bride price and a full house?"

Zhang Xiaoxiang was very angry with him. There are all such men. She replied, "I am beautiful and worth it!" You are a poor man, who is qualified to accuse me of material things? "

This really hurts men's self-esteem. He put down the bowl chopsticks and said:

"You straighten your brain first, a 38-year-old leftover woman, what's the face to ask for a full room and 300,000 bride price? You have good conditions, and I am not bad. Even though I am poor, I don't like you. Besides, why should I marry you when I am married and have no children? Can you still have children, to say the least? I have no self-knowledge. "

Zhang Xiaoxiang said she was red in the face with anger. If it wasn't in the restaurant, she really wanted to slap that man. She tried to refute him, but the man said another word to her and checked out.

He said when he left:

"Don't think that men all over the world will spoil you. A material woman like you gives it away for nothing. People have to think about it and treat themselves as treasures. Do you really want to sell at a high price? Do you treat marriage as a business or treat yourself as garbage? Think about it! "

Hearing this, Zhang Xiaoxiang felt insulted. What makes this man say that about her? This kind of man, she really won't marry, don't give women face.

However, at that moment, she woke up like a dream. She thinks that she has dated so many times, perhaps because she is too arrogant or really unrealistic.

Later, Zhang Xiaoxiang didn't dare to go on blind date again, for fear of being laughed at by blind date men again.

So, she is still single, and maybe her marriage will be really difficult.

02

In view of Zhang Xiaoxiang's three requirements for mate selection, let me talk about my views.

(1) full house

I haven't actually investigated the housing prices in big cities. The average housing prices in my small county are around 6,000 to 7,000, which is over 10,000, depending on the location.

So I can really buy a house in full, hundreds of thousands to millions. There may not be many men who can really meet such conditions. A man who can take out his money in one breath may have been married long ago.

This condition is actually very high, and the probability of finding an object in the blind date market may not be high.

There are not a few women who have the same idea as Zhang Xiaoxiang. They always hold the idea that it is really difficult to find a suitable man.

Although some women have good conditions themselves, they may have a high monthly salary, high academic qualifications or good looks, it is really unrealistic to find a man with higher conditions than you, or several times higher.

The reality is pale, and it often depends on the actual situation and cannot be taken for granted. To put it bluntly, not every man with good conditions will wait for you in the same place. You are picking a man, and the same man will pick you.

Especially blind date, itself is mutual choice. If a woman chooses her partner blindly, she may find fault with herself in the end.

A man who really has this condition, why not marry a woman younger than you and insist on marrying you?

I advise individual women to be pragmatic and not to set too high a standard.

(2) The bride price is 300,000 yuan.

I wonder if the bride price is a custom in many places. We don't seem to have such rigid norms there. Generally, the man offered it, not the woman forced it.

In fact, there is an essential difference. If the man takes the initiative to give it, he will definitely give it a decent one, which will not only give the woman face, but also make herself bear the economic pressure, killing two birds with one stone.

However, if the woman asks blindly, the opening is sky-high, and such behavior will become stale.

Many netizens ridiculed that this is a woman selling her daughter instead of marrying her daughter. Although the words are rough, there is something in them.

Moreover, the man's condition is not good, and it is really not a simple matter to pay 300 thousand bride price. How can you be happy if you get married with a lot of foreign debts?

So marriage can't empty the man's house, so can it really look noble to marry in the past? I don't think so

In my life, I have seen many examples of not asking for a bride price. When a woman marries a man, her life is very happy, and her husband and in-laws are very kind to her.

In marriage, husband and wife jointly create their own small family, which has both husband and wife feelings and can go hand in hand. Isn't that great?

However, some single women do not think so. They ask for a large bride price before marriage. They always feel that this is a way to be respected by the man and a way to show their sincerity. This is somewhat misunderstood.

I hope those women who are still paying high-priced bride price can reflect more. Marriage is not measured by material things, so don't treat marriage as a transaction.

(3) Don't interfere with work and don't want to have children.

It is understandable not to interfere with the woman's work after marriage. In fact, I don't approve of women being full-time mothers after marriage.

After marriage, women need to be independent and have their own financial resources, rather than relying on men to support them.

However, a woman who doesn't want to have children after marriage may be unacceptable to most men, especially to her husband's family.

When a man gets married, the most straightforward point is that he wants to have children, which is also the expectation of his in-laws. If women don't want to have children, why do men get married?

And age is really difficult for women. I really don't want to see many women become older women, because old age really has no advantage in fertility.

The risk of giving birth to an elderly woman is really much higher, not only for herself, but also for her children.

Therefore, it is suggested that women get married at marriageable age, and don't blindly adhere to high material standards, delaying marriage and delaying the best birth opportunity.

Also, men must have children when they get married. Marriage is incomplete without children.

Therefore, when falling in love or getting married, women should have a clear understanding. After all, there are still a few marriages that don't want children to live alone.

03

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Lev tolstoy wrote: "If a girl wants to marry a rich man, it is not love. Property is the most insignificant thing. Only when she can bear the pain of separation is true love. "

I hope that individual women can understand that it is difficult to get true love, let alone a happy marriage, if they wholeheartedly pursue material enjoyment and ignore the essence of love.

In reality, many women insist on marrying Gao Fushuai, just like the "celebrity" phenomenon that was hotly discussed some time ago, which has deviated from the original intention of marriage.

If there is no correct concept of marriage and love, turning marriage into material pursuit and demand will not be recognized by people.

Such a woman cannot be respected by others. A person's dignity is given by himself, not from others.

Both men and women need to pay more attention to personality, responsibility and world outlook, rather than just looking at material things.

Lee Hyo Ri said: "If you really like someone, you just like yourself with him."

Therefore, whether it is love or marriage, it must be based on feelings. Love each other or love each other's material?

Only by having full trust and love for each other can we undertake everything in the future without hesitation. This is the essence of marriage.

Well, the case of Li Xiaoxiang is written here, hoping to give some reflection to female individuals.

What do you think of this? Welcome to leave a comment!