Listening to the Reading Notes of Listening with a Service Attitude

Repeated study, repeated training and repeated listening. Service.

What to do next.

1, seize the opportunity, listen carefully and try your best to help others. The most important moment is that the present time can be dominated. The most important people are the people around me now. The most important thing is to make people around you happy. This is the meaning of life.

2. Softening.

Smile, open posture, lean forward, touch, make eye contact and nod.

If there is news that makes me angry, don't reply immediately.

4. Meditation.

5. Be an excellent listener.

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1, the best gift you can give others is to make yourself better. To do this, first of all, you need to be a better listener.

Einstein said that the most important thing is to keep asking questions.

Carnegie said that in others' eyes, I am a good talker. In fact, I'm just good at listening and willing to listen to their confidences.

4. Carnegie said, is it your initiative or the other's initiative to make friends? The result is completely different. The former has more friends for two months than the latter for two years.

5. No one can devote all his time to listening and listening attentively, but the proportion of time dispersed by selective listening is not constant.

6. When a person doesn't care much about his own thoughts or actions, his true colors will be revealed. This is the true face of this person, not the public image.

7. Interpersonal conflicts all stem from poor communication between two people.

8. Being sensitive to others is not a trivial skill. On the contrary, she is a very precious ability of human beings. This ability is not complicated. Only one person needs the ability to accept others and the willingness to listen.

9. When you change yourself, your life will also change. When you change your life, you are also changing the world bit by bit. You will not only affect your relatives and colleagues, but also change the whole world because of you.

10, when communicating with others, 7% of the communication is based on what we say, 38% of the communication is achieved through our sound changes, and the communication based on nonverbal behavior is as high as 55%.

Story. The emperor asked three questions.

An emperor thought there were three problems. If he knew the answer, he wouldn't be confused about anything. What is the best time to do everything with these three questions? Who is the most important partner? What is the most important thing at any time?

Therefore, the emperor issued an imperial edict to the whole country, and whoever provided the correct answer would be rewarded handsomely, but all the questions raised by the emperor were not satisfied, and he did not reward anyone. After several nights of thinking, he decided to visit a hermit, who is said to be a wise man. The hermit never goes down to meet the poor. So, the emperor disguised himself as a farmer and ordered his followers to wait at the foot of the mountain, while he.

When the emperor arrived at the residence of the wise man, he found that reprimand was following strangers in the garden in front of the hut. The wise man nodded his welcome and went on working. This farm work is very hard for the old man. In this bloody autumn, he is tired and panting again and again. The emperor came in and asked him three questions. He listened carefully, then patted the emperor on the shoulder and went on working. The emperor said you must be tired. Let me help you. When the wise man arrived, he gave the shovel to the emperor and sat down to rest. The emperor asked this question again, but no one answered. Time flies. The sun began to set. The emperor said, I've come to ask you a question. If you can't help me, please tell me to go home as soon as possible

The wise man asked the emperor, "Did you hear someone running?" The emperor turned to look over and saw a man with a long white beard running out of the Woods. He ran frantically forward, pressing his hands tightly on the abdominal wound, which was still bleeding. Before the emperor's money fell, he lost consciousness and gave a groan of pain. The emperor and the wise man found that he was seriously injured. The emperor helped him clean the wound. Later, the injured man regained consciousness and asked for water. The emperor ran to the river to fetch fresh water for him. The wise man and the emperor carried the man into the hut and put him on the bed.

After climbing a mountain for a day and doing farm work in the garden for another day, the emperor was tired, leaned against the door and soon fell asleep. When he woke up, the sun had risen very high. He saw the injured man in bed and found that the other person was looking at him doubtfully. He said feebly, please forgive me.

The emperor said, what have you done that I need to forgive?

He said, you don't know my majesty, but I know you. You are my sworn enemy. In the last war, you killed my brother and took my property. Therefore, I swear to take revenge on you. So, I decided to ambush you this time, but I didn't meet you and your entourage, and I was seriously injured. If I hadn't met you, I would have died. I swear, my life.

The emperor was so happy that he easily solved a deadly enemy. He promised to return all his property and let doctors and servants call for care. The emperor went to see the wise man again. Before he returns to the palace, he wants to ask three more questions.

The wise man said, your question has been answered.

What? The emperor was puzzled.

The wise man said, you didn't pity me yesterday, because I was old and helped me dig the ground, so on the way back, you will be ambushed by that man, and then you will deeply regret not staying here. Therefore, the most important time is when you help me dig, the most important person is me, and the most important thing is to help me.

Later, when the injured person comes running, the most important time is when you dress his wound, because if you don't take care of him, he may die and you can't reach a settlement with him. Similarly, he is also the most important person, and the most important thing is to take care of him.

Remember that there is only one most important moment, that is, only the present time is at our disposal. The most important people are the people around you and the people in front of you, because no one knows who you will deal with in the future. The most important thing is to make people around you happy, which is the meaning of life.

Reading notes.

First of all, the order

1, the difference between listening and listening, listening is an involuntary behavior, listening includes not only listening, but also understanding. Listening is an effective listening to some activities, which requires active participation and interaction, concentration and consciousness, in order to understand what you hear and give it meaning.

2, the story. A child whispers a word or phrase to the child next to him, such as a book under a chair, and then the child whispers what he hears to the next child. The last child who heard it loudly said that what he heard would probably turn into gum in my hair. It can be seen that people's words are easily misunderstood in oral communication.

Communication consists of five elements,

(1) Speaker element, (communication mode, environmental load)

(2) coding behavior elements, (speaker information filter and cognitive framework)

(3) Message, (an incomprehensible message environment)

(4) Decoding behavioral elements (listener information filter and cognitive framework)

(5) the elements of the listener. (Listener type, listener type)

Second, the listener factor.

1, listening will bring about changes. Maybe you don't understand what someone is doing, but you can talk to him and listen to what he says.

2. Cognitive framework is your overall understanding of a situation or topic. Listeners can only hear or receive what enters the frame. There are many factors that affect our framework, such as gender education background speculation, conceptual efficacy, relationship with others and so on. We usually don't know our own framework.

3. Information filtering is a conscious selection process, which allows you to focus on one thing instead of others.

For example, two couples also face the sea. One said that the sea was beautiful, and the other said that the windows were full of dust and should be cleaned.

4, both sides have the same border and filter, which is easy to understand each other. If their world view is completely different, it is even more difficult to talk about it.

5. Emotional management.

(1) When you feel that you are becoming emotional, take a step back and pay attention to each other's emotions. She is angry, excited or full of enthusiasm.

(2) point of view. How does it feel to find the source of emotional changes? Filters may trigger their current emotions and behaviors. Is it possible that it has nothing to do with you?

(3) Frankly pointing out other people's feelings, such as our current conversation, seems to make you very angry. Am I right?

(4) Speak your feelings diplomatically, don't express them in a confrontational way, express them in the first person, and don't use you. For example, I think I am angry because?

(5) Recognize other people's emotions and realize that everyone has the right to express their different views.

(6) Even if the other person can't control his emotions, you should control your emotions, don't make emotional reactions, and leave the room to leave a quiet space for the other person.

6. Seven audiences.

(1) worried. Can you tell me if it is convenient for you now? Now I want you to pay attention to me Concise and to the point.

I am an alarmist, so I need to put down what I am doing and listen to each other's conversation carefully.

(2) The attention time of youth like fugue is also very short. Check with him from time to time to see if you understand what you are saying.

I am a fugue, pay attention to my behavior, pay attention to my concentration, keep eye contact and lean forward. Ask questions.

(3) Interrupt, when he interrupts, stop and let him talk at once, otherwise he will not listen to you at all.

Apologize every time you find yourself interrupting someone, which will help you realize your problem, which is exactly what I need to correct.

(4) the silent. You can express your thoughts in a dramatic way, and then ask him questions to get him involved in the conversation.

As a silent person, you should pay attention to the whole person of the other person, not just the body language of the other person, and use your eyes, ears and heart to find out why this person wants to talk to you about this topic.

(5) The combatant, don't argue with him, look forward, don't look back, you can hold different opinions, or put forward different solutions in the following conversation.

I am an enterprising person, trying to look at problems from the standpoint of the speaker, understand and accept the other person's point of view, and find out the advantages.

(6) analysts.

As an analyst, you should relax, but everyone needs answers, solutions and suggestions.

(7) investors. Take the time to thank her for her attention to the conversation and interest in the topic between you.

I am an investor, please keep it up, because everyone appreciates this advantage.

7. Four listening types.

A man in deep marital crisis turned to the master for help. The master said, you must learn to listen to your wife. The man firmly remembers this sentence. A month later, he visited the master again and said that he had learned to listen to every word his wife said. This is what the master said with a smile. Now go home and listen to every word he didn't say.

Pretend to listen, respond to listen, learn to listen (choose the content accurately), and listen emotionally.

The purpose of emotional listening is to try to understand each other comprehensively.

8. Distract. I feel upset and emotionally unstable.

Second, the speaker factor.

1, change your current cognitive framework. Write down that he is a very arrogant person, and then put forward the opposite assumptions and standards. Under what circumstances is he not a very arrogant person? Then further thinking, maybe he is not good at expression, his purpose is to help me better complete the task.

2. Coding refers to converting information and symbol forms representing ideas and concepts into messages. The key to successful coding is to know the audience, which depends on two aspects: on the one hand, it is simple and clear; On the other hand, it enables you to predict and eliminate disturbing information, such as cultural assumptions.

What is the focus of the speech? If I am hungry, I will tell the same news to my husband, parents and daughter, and the wording, tone and mood will be different.

There are power differences, cultural differences and individual differences that lead to different codes. The environment is also very important.

The most important thing for a messenger is a quality. In order of importance, one is the attitude of the sender, the other is the clarity of information, the third is privacy, and the fourth is the ability to answer questions.

4. Understanding natural style and personality style can reduce many conflicts. His performance in front of friends and others is different.

People with single focus tend to concentrate on finding the best solution, while people with multiple focus often find different solutions or choices equally attractive.

6. Four decision-making styles. Hierarchical, comprehensive, decisive and flexible.

Third, why did communication fail?

1, the more problems two people have accumulated in previous communication, the greater the possibility that potential conflicts will turn into explicit conflicts.

2. Three stages of conflict resolution.

(1) The first stage is to understand each other's point of view. We often make mistakes. We spend a lot of time trying to make others listen to our ideas, but we don't care what they think. You must jump out of your own frame and explore another frame.

Seven steps

First of all, make sure that the goal of communication is mutual understanding, not problem solving.

The second is to guide the other party to express their thoughts, feelings and wishes on current issues.

The third is to seek each other's help, try to understand, and don't defend yourself or raise objections.

The fourth is to repeat each other's position in your own words and confirm whether you understand each other.

The fifth is to ask the other party to correct your understanding and reiterate the other party's position.

Sixth, go back to your position and continue.

Seventh, repeat the first six steps until the other person thinks you understand her position.

(2) Explain your point of view in the second stage.

(3) Find the solution in three stages.

3. Types of conflicts.

Lion type. I won and you lost. Listen to me.

Ostrich type. If I lose, so do you. Avoid conflict at all costs.

Dog type. You win and I lose, and interpersonal relationships are very important.

Types of fish. You win, and I win. Pay attention to teamwork.

Chameleon type You can temporarily adjust your type.

Understanding these types of conflicts is the first step to improve listening ability. By determining each other's conflict types, we can jump out of our own cognitive framework and enter their framework.

Fourth, master effective listening skills.

1, common listening errors, only listening to the beginning, selective listening, fake listening, half listening but not listening.

2, the correct way to listen.

Listen carefully. It takes a long time for the listener to pay close attention to the speaker.

To listen deeply, we should not only understand what is said, but also understand the implication of the speaker and understand the speaker.

3. The way to encourage the other person to speak.

Is it?

In what way?

why ...

Tell me more.

Can you give an example?

4. Interview method.

Ask a factual question. Where did you grow up? Where did you receive your education? How did you meet?

Causality problem. What prompted your parents to move here? Why do you go to school there? How did you come to work here?

The problem of price view. Describe a person who has a great influence on your life. What would you do if you had to choose again? What is the hardest thing in life? How did you face it?

5. Observe nonverbal behavior.

There are only four ways we use the world, our behavior, our appearance, our words and the way we speak. It is through these four contacts that others evaluate and classify us.

The most imposing arm posture is hands akimbo. A strong handshake shows that this person is controlling and aggressive. Sometimes weakness means that this person is introverted, and women shake hands strongly, which usually means that they are willing to accept new things, not necessarily men.

When we are not interested in something, we blink. Raising eyebrows is a classic gesture to show interest. Smile sincerely, and the muscles around the eyes will also participate.

6. How to reply to the message?

If you receive a rude or rude message, it means that you shouldn't reply to it in a hurry. Before replying, seriously consider whether your cognitive framework affects your understanding of the message. You can ask yourself, can you understand this information in another way?