The pregnant mother-in-law said nothing.

Someone gave me a summary. My crux is that I paid too much money, but I didn't get a certain response. There are many things built in my mother's house. My mother's house has just been built, and I gave it to my husband's house there, and my heart was unbalanced. I thought about it. That's the mentality.

When I got married, my in-laws borrowed 10 thousand from me and gave it to me at the wedding. At that time, my own mother just gave me 10 thousand yuan for the trip and turned to lend it to them. Then nobody paid me back. So, I can't help but haggle over every ounce.

He also said that he would send flowers to his mother-in-law. How can I put it? I just got married last year 1 1 month, but I haven't 1 year. I just got married and had a honeymoon baby. When my in-laws first came to our small home, my mother-in-law said that she was taking care of me. I felt nauseous for the first three months and insisted on going to work. My husband is on a business trip, and I have been alone. At that time, there was no heating at home, and it was too cold to eat. This is not difficult at all. Three months later, my mother-in-law suddenly said that she would take care of her. Before that, I didn't get along with her much. I can only say that I know her. After I came, I was particularly unaccustomed to cooking at first. At noon, I fried a lot of dishes together and put some vermicelli as the staple food. There is no rice and noodles. Breakfast is not salty, you can use boiled water to make steamed bread, and dinner is usually noodles, which has no nutrition at all. I gave them 2000 yuan as soon as they arrived. I'm afraid they have no money, but there are still few fish. Then I came straight to the point. Let's cook something delicious and buy some fruit. Then I gave another 2000 for fear that they wouldn't give up. This is my living expenses, and I have always felt that it should be, and I don't want them to pay.

All the living expenses I gave were transferred to their mobile phones through WeChat, and then we went out to buy food. When my father-in-law checked out the bill, he kept saying that the mobile phone was dead and not working well. As a newlywed wife, I think it's almost the Spring Festival, so give one. My husband said happily that he had married a good wife (later I learned that this was a sugar-coated cannonball and kept saying that he had married a virtuous and virtuous wife). ) Then my mother-in-law's mobile phone failed, so I gave her a 90% new mobile phone that I had left idle. This should also be my subsidy.

After the Spring Festival, the old couple went back to their hometown. The new wife will visit relatives in the first year. Pot friends, do you want to receive a gift when you visit and buy things in the first year? There are in the northeast. I asked my husband and he said there should be. Then I guess my in-laws can't give less! I was pregnant and it was inconvenient to bring anything, so I bought myself a set, thinking that I wouldn't let them lose it, so I gave 2000 yuan for the New Year! However, I didn't buy any socks!

Then what makes me angry is his grandfather's milk. My husband repeatedly asked me to give 2000, saying that he was raised by an old man. After I gave it, they gave me 200. What is the concept of 200 now? It may not be enough for everyone to go out for dinner.

I am also very angry with my mother-in-law, because my husband's aunt bought something, but she invited the whole family to eat hot pot without giving money. My mother-in-law secretly gave my husband a few hundred dollars, saying that she would let her husband settle the bill after dinner because her aunt was more difficult. Then I realized that she was not ignorant of the world. At this time, she knew how to give and take care of her family. Why didn't she accept the money I gave her and didn't respond?

Then there is the matter of coming back naked during the Spring Festival. That's when I went to the supermarket with her to buy food. When she came out, there were clothes sellers at the door, so she picked out a bunch of them herself. I deliberately didn't go to the checkout place in the back because I didn't want to spend any more money on her. She asked me to go. I went to the door and found that she hadn't given me the money yet. I have a mobile phone in my hand. The waiter asked me directly whether it was WeChat or Alipay. My mother-in-law looked at me. I was a little cornered and finally paid the price.

I appreciate her taking care of me. She really saves money by buying food. She doesn't buy it when it is expensive. She bought a little more than several stores, and there was basically nothing left after eating. Walk with me every day, have a physical examination, boil water and cook. But these things were promised to me before marriage, saying that she would take care of the baby in the future. It's just that my baby came too soon.

She's here, and we'll basically live together like this. It's a good place. But unilaterally, one party keeps paying money, and the other party never shows it. Accustomed to reaching out, the gap will only get bigger and bigger as time goes by.

As for my husband, he is very tired at work, always on business trips and often away from home. Even if he is at home, it will be 10 pm before he goes home. His three meals are provided by the company and he won't go home to eat. The bonus at the end of the year plus my usual salary, plus my salary, we feel that we are still petty bourgeoisie. I'm anxious recently because the baby is going to be born. It cost me almost 20 thousand yuan from pregnancy to the present examination, and the money is spent like water. I'm about to take maternity leave, and I lost my income. Then I think about my mother-in-law's attitude towards money, and I feel bad. I have communicated with my husband all the problems at home. He was always confident that he earned enough money, and then he convinced me that he really had no fucking money. (I gave 2000 yuan in the New Year, even if I took out 500 yuan, I also took out 500 yuan to treat my husband and aunt. )

Some people say that my mother-in-law has no obligation to do this and that, and I don't want to refute it. I just feel sorry for my mother-in-law.

When I got married, my mother-in-law gave a bride price of 60 thousand. Because her husband's family was in difficulties, she didn't ask for more, and she didn't buy a house or a car, only this 60 thousand. Then I need to give 1000 1 yuan (meaning one in a million) at the wedding. His parents said they had no money, so they borrowed 10 thousand yuan from me and gave it to me at the wedding. So far, they have never mentioned it again. That is to say, if you give 60,000 yuan, you will get back 1 10,000 yuan, while my parents gave 6,543.8+10,000 yuan,10.0/10,000 yuan, and there is still 6,543.8+10,000 yuan for our trip back to get married (it's a long way, and the round-trip expenses). I have a sister who gave 10 thousand and 4 thousand. Then my parents didn't want to give us any gifts, almost 65438+ ten thousand. My family often gives us money, but my mother-in-law's family is different. After 50 thousand, she never gave me a penny.

In winter, my in-laws come to Beijing to look for us. I'm just pregnant. Cook for me. My husband and I paid for their round trip. In less than two months, I gave my in-laws 4000 yuan for living expenses. I bought each of them a new suit and gave them 2000 yuan for the New Year. We also go back for the Spring Festival after working here. My mother-in-law didn't even buy me a new pair of socks. I recognized it, and then I went back to the mutton, beef and fruit I bought I spent a lot, really a lot. My husband also has grandparents, and I gave him 2000 yuan. In my first year as a new wife, my grandparents gave me 200 yuan back. As a Northeastern, I was shocked by their meanness! My in-laws didn't give me a dime, and everyone took the money I gave.

Our baby is a honeymoon baby, and we will have it when we get married. I didn't even think of that. My mother takes care of my sister's children and my sister's two children. Because she can't bring them, my mother-in-law has to come and bring them. My mother-in-law quit her job and came to Beijing to wait on me. I appreciate it. I gave her living expenses, and she didn't spend a penny. But to be fair, she serves well and gets along well, in fact, they are all very good. But the northeast really has this habit. My daughter-in-law is pregnant, and my mother-in-law should give some money, 12 thousand is good, which means my daughter-in-law can buy some good supplements, but my mother-in-law is really poor. I didn't even think about making quilts for my children, and I never took the initiative to pay for eating out. My physical examination is too expensive. I sometimes say that I will go twice less. She just said it was really useless to check too much.

I don't care about her money, and neither do I. I always feel that I will change my heart for my heart. I've been paying for it all my life. I can't stand it if she doesn't take a dime. Even if I spent 1000, she only paid 50. I don't know if you understand this attitude. After the Spring Festival, she came over without thin clothes, so I bought a bunch of clothes with her. She is also used to waiting for my payment without spending money. She bought it all for her son. I want to buy one. She said, you are going to have a baby. It's no use buying so much. Of course, she may have no other meaning, but I am particularly unhappy.

I talked to my husband, and he said that he understood the problem of not plucking hair, but her mother really had no money. Come and wait on me, and my job will be gone. Just like a nanny, it costs a lot of money to hire a nanny. But I still feel uncomfortable. She is not a nanny. I'm screaming. I really get along with her. She is taking care of her granddaughter, not me, and she is willing to accompany the children.

I don't know if my idea is right. I just think that if this goes on for a long time, I will have a gap. Such a mother-in-law will not give a dime to her child when she is born.

I should probably be more satisfied.

Pay attention to the questions and write the answers.

297 answers

Cang Lan

You don't care if she doesn't give money when she is pregnant, but it's too cold to pay unilaterally for so long. Pregnancy is just a big landmark event.

As a fellow countryman in Northeast China, I am in confinement. My mother-in-law never gave me money when I was pregnant. She is also an ordinary working family and has no spare money. But she and my father-in-law will go to my house to help my husband clean up when I go to work, bring me millet and stupid eggs when I go to my hometown in the countryside, and cook a lot of dishes from time to time to ask us to go back for dinner. Although insignificant, various efforts to express concern can still be achieved. So although I gave birth to a baby for myself, I don't dislike my grandparents enjoying their family happiness.

Poverty is not impossible. There are always people who are heartless and link their efforts with money. In fact, she not only didn't pay, but also didn't contribute, and she didn't mind. People's hearts are all meat. Although there is no emotional foundation between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, since they have become a family, they should always be careful when releasing goodwill. You mother-in-law, I suggest you know better, don't be a steamed stuffed bun, be a heartless person. You can say whatever you want to deal with such a person, and she can't whitewash it. Then buy some new year's goods for the Spring Festival. You should know what clothes to buy, what fees to pay for the Chinese New Year, and what people treat you. Can she still ask you for it? If you really speak, you can honestly and sincerely say, mom, you spend too much money, and you still have to keep your children. Anyway, if the other person talks nonsense, you will drop it ten times. I didn't accept your story, so I said in simple English that you were embarrassed. Let's go

Such a person is not worth caring about, so focus on something more worthwhile. Completely perfunctory. As for your husband, parents are not children's choice. Don't be angry with him. It is not a mature man to reach out to his parents for money. You should bring him into your United front and tell him that his parents have no money, and we can raise the children independently without increasing the burden on the elderly.

Don't burden them, but they won't burden you if you are short of money. So when it's time to be formal, be formal. Parents won't care about us! It is not easy for us to raise children!

Then remember to treat your parents equally, don't forget to care about them all the time, put on the attitude that I will give them back whatever they give me, and thank them in due course. Your husband won't have a problem because his parents didn't do it. To be fair, don't rely on your waist, come on.

Edited on 20 19-05-08, the copyright belongs to the author.

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Girl, I can feel what you wrote.

Because I experienced it, and my husband and I were married naked, and my husband's family didn't give me any money, so I later learned that my mind was unbalanced and I had a problem, because my family paid too much, which formed a big gap with my husband's family.

Seeing that my parents pay money and efforts for our husband and wife's small family, and my husband has to seek rewards for what he does, this unequal payment makes me have an opinion of my husband!

So later I decided that a bowl of water was flat, and my husband's family needed money to help, and my parents also needed money to help. If my husband's family couldn't help me, I wouldn't go to my mother's house to help. My husband and I are both adults and have formed a family. The responsibility of this family should be borne by the two of us, and neither parent needs to help us. Even such a hard and tiring day is something my husband and wife should share!

If you feel uncomfortable that your mother-in-law wants to give money, you can also hire a nanny. After all, it costs money. If you are dissatisfied with the nanny, you can change it, and you don't have to worry about the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. For going back to your husband's family, if you think they are stingy, you can also become stingy, or let your husband accompany you back to your mother's house, and the whole family will be treated equally.

Of course, all this also needs a husband who can understand your willingness to take responsibility, and you also need to communicate with him calmly.

Edited on 20 19-05-08, the copyright belongs to the author.

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Stay away from keyboard man

Keyboard man, stay away from me, thank you.

Honey, isn't it good to spend money on yourself?

I had a similar experience with you. I am very kind to my husband's family. They live in the countryside and are most concerned about their loved ones all their lives. Well, I bought presents for their whole family and got nothing in return. A few days before New Year's Day, my in-laws came. I bought a new dress and other small gifts for my in-laws and my husband. Then I look forward to a response. There's nothing. They came empty-handed, carrying a 28-inch suitcase, two full schoolbags and gifts for relatives of the whole family. You know what part makes me sad? That was the night before I left. There are so many presents that it is difficult to pack them. In the cold January, I watched them cram things into the suitcase desperately, sweating profusely, and there was no place to cram them. I suddenly felt very sad. When they left, we left a few oranges instead of a dish in the refrigerator. My father-in-law specifically told me that they would not bring these oranges, so it was inconvenient to eat them on the train. I will never forgive my ugly face. I like oranges. They all know that even if I can't take them away, they pretend to buy them for me and say I can accept them because I like them. What do you mean? It was inconvenient for them to eat on the train, so they stayed. Finally, I threw away those oranges. I told my husband with a smile that your parents came empty-handed, and we paid for the round-trip fare (I ordered the rice on the train, and I ordered four meals of seventy or eighty, and my husband and I couldn't bear to eat it when we took the train). We returned with a full load, but we tried our best to stuff it in, and didn't even say anything about buying us some fruits and vegetables when we left (we both went to work, and they had nothing to do in our house). Do you know how my husband explains this?

I bought it. Is it my fault? Express delivery went home one after another. I bought all kinds of specialties. I also said that this is delicious. Try it back. I didn't buy that. I don't know if it's delicious, but it's famous. Try it back. I haven't eaten much so far, and they can't fit it in. I won't say which one to leave for us, even for their son.

18 years old left home to go to college. My mother began to prepare food for me a month before I went home. When I have something good, I will buy it and keep it. On the day I came home, I even got enough candy (I don't like snacks at all). Snacks, dried fruits, meat and vegetables were all bought. When I get home, I can actually buy it on the same day, because I love to eat, and I have prepared it in advance. Every time I come to school, my mother tries her best to put food in my bag. Once, I even packed Wangwang ice cream. The city where my university is located has everything.

I haven't bought anything for their family since then. All holidays and birthdays have no gifts, and the money is spent on themselves. Every time I want to be angry with them, I want to use Estee Lauder's face not to be angry. Sometimes I feel guilty about buying expensive things for myself. Alas, I was defeated again. My husband and I made it clear that we should take care of our mother. I don't want to stop him from spending money for his family reasonably. Don't expect me to spend money to choose. My own mother is filial.

Edited on 20 19-05-09, the copyright belongs to the author.

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Mianaomiao

Let's keep warm.

Sorry, the subject just didn't examine the question carefully. I understand your mentality. You're really great. I don't have so much energy and money to do anything for my family at present. If I can, I hope I can do something for my family, not rely on it. My mother-in-law has always treated my husband and I as children's pets, but I know that such behavior does more harm than good, so I am grateful and helpless. Refuse my mother-in-law, will not understand my deep meaning, and still go its own way. I guess the subject is someone who misses my mother-in-law. On the contrary, I will be more eager to have a in-laws who can't interfere too much and give us absolute independence. I am anxious to get married because I want to be independent. Who knows that after marriage, it is even worse than before marriage. My mother really doesn't interfere with me as much as my mother-in-law. My mother is the kind of person who tells me the right idea and how to do it. My mother-in-law is responsible for three meals a day. After all, I understand and understand. She is very hard, but I would rather my mother-in-law love her more. When we need her, she should come out and help me. (When I really needed my mother-in-law recently, my husband thought that her mother-in-law always worked hard. This time, she actually laid bricks for me on the road. I really don't want my mother-in-law to help me To be honest, the real good thing is to give me timely help, so I will be more grateful. But on weekdays, I do a bunch of things that I really don't need, and I have to accept them, and I feel sorry for my mother when I need them. I really accept it, which is not conducive to family harmony at all and will make me have no confidence to integrate into his family.

Therefore, in fact, each model has its advantages and disadvantages. It can only be said that you should learn to adjust your mentality slowly and find a solution that makes you comfortable.

~ ~ ~ Original text ~ ~ ~

I am currently pregnant and will give birth in July. A few days ago, my in-laws just gave our young couple 20 thousand yuan as a maternity fund, but I don't want it. The money was transferred to my husband's account, and I made it clear to my husband that I would not spend it.

Thank your in-laws for their kindness, but as far as I know, my husband and I are independent after marriage. Even if we are short of money, it is our own business. Thank you for your understanding, but that doesn't mean I can use it.

My husband's money has always been with me. After pregnancy, I gradually learned not to spend money indiscriminately. Recently, I began to use my advantages to do some part-time jobs. It's all for the life of our family of three. I am very grateful to both parents for their spiritual and financial support, but we all try our best to refuse. On weekdays, my elders take the initiative to help us cook, and my mother-in-law gives me some milk, which I never mentioned to my mother-in-law. I am satisfied with all this.

What I want to say is: in fact, raising children and your life is a matter for you and your husband. After marriage, your in-laws and parents are big families to you. They are your relatives. That doesn't mean they should do this and that for you. Some mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are really contradictory, because they can't compare with each other.

My mother-in-law and I have always been very good, but my husband has no brains and sometimes it is annoying. Maybe if he wants less, we can be more harmonious.