Before and after mom's funeral

February 5, 20 18, which I will never forget! Because my mother left me forever after a sudden cerebral hemorrhage on this day. She was only 49 years old and still so young. She left forever before enjoying the leisure of her child's independence. Without warning, I was at a loss and completely collapsed!

As soon as I stop, my mind will clearly see the bits and pieces before my mother died-everything was as usual that day, just like every day we were alive. On February 4th, my parents and I closed the stall and watched my dad's favorite anti-war drama at home as usual. I was hungry halfway, fried rice with eggs, and felt that I needed a refreshing side dish. My mother went upstairs and picked out two pickled radishes for me, cut them and handed them to me. Then she sat by the fire, eating chocolate and watching TV. At 9: 30 in the evening, the TV series ended. I get up and mop the floor. My mother is picking up coal in the coal storage room with a shovel. Bank came out and suddenly said to me, Little Sally, why does my head hurt so much now? I didn't take it seriously either, because my mother never tells me what happened to her. I guess I may have caught a cold by accident, so I said, do you have a cold? Do you want to take some cold medicine? Mom didn't notice either. She thinks it's a headache, so eat headache powder. She ate a pack of painkillers and went upstairs. I continued to mop the floor, and when I dragged it to the stairwell, I heard my mother moaning upstairs, which startled me, because my mother was such a strong person, and I had never heard her talk about burns and infections on her feet the year before last. I asked loudly downstairs, mom, what's wrong with you? My mother didn't answer me. My father scolded me when he saw my voice was loud: Your mother has a headache. Come and have a look. After going upstairs, my father called the doctor in the living room and asked the doctor who lived across the hall to come to my house quickly. I saw my mother retching on the toilet, and there was nothing to throw up. I thought my mother had a fever, so I quickly touched her head, only to find that she was sweating, which scared me even more. My father and I helped my mother to bed at once, and I ran downstairs to open the door for the doctor. After the doctor came up, I immediately took my mother's blood pressure, which was as high as 100. She told me to tell my mother to take antihypertensive drugs immediately, but to chew them up and absorb them better. My mother said she wanted to throw up in a second, so I quickly put the trash can at her feet. She got up and vomited for a second, took the medicine and then lay down. The doctor told us not to disturb my mother, let her have a good rest and see if she is all right every two hours. If she is not well, she will be sent to the hospital immediately! I was very surprised to see such a high blood pressure. I asked the doctor why the blood pressure was so high. Does my mother have high blood pressure? How come I've never heard from her? The doctor said that I told her when I took her blood pressure, and told her to take medicine, but she didn't take it or give money. ...

After mom took the medicine, she lay on her head and didn't talk much about her headache. I thought it was no big deal. After seeing the doctor downstairs and going home, I continued to mop the floor. After dragging upstairs to wash, I went to my parents' room to see my mother for a while. Especially smooth and meticulous. I watched her breathe, and everything was fine. Dad doesn't think it's a big deal either. Let me go back to my bedroom to rest and say that he will watch my mother, so that I can rest assured and think about it.

Lying in bed, I was still thinking about not calling my brother and sister to tell me about my mother, but I didn't think it was necessary. Maybe this will make them flustered. I didn't have a good rest all night, so I didn't call. Because my mother never said that my knowledge of hypertension basically came from books, saying that it is closely related to hyperlipidemia and hyperglycemia. I later recalled that one year I asked my parents to have a physical examination. At that time, my mother's physical examination list said that my blood pressure was high, but my attention was attracted by the chyle blood on my father's physical examination list, which is hyperlipidemia. In addition, I know very little about hypertension, and think it is as irrelevant as a cold, so I ignore the past. Now that I think about it, if I had paid more attention, my mother might have paid more attention at my request. If she didn't eat such greasy, high-sugar and high-salt food every day, I wouldn't think that my mother had worked hard all her life and bought her a lot of chocolates to eat, and I wouldn't think that she had a cold after a headache and watched helplessly as she ate that bag of headache powder used with caution by hypertensive patients ...)

With my limited knowledge, hypertension is no different from a cold. I just need to take some medicine and get some sleep. Now I really hate myself. Fortunately, I am still a graduate of 2 1 1 university, which is simply superficial! Lying in bed, I'm still searching online for what food I can eat to lower my blood pressure, thinking about what I'm going to do for my mother when she gets well tomorrow, so that she and her father can eat less salt in the future, because it's a great threat to them ... But I never thought about the relationship between hypertension and cerebral hemorrhage, and I didn't know that hypertension is such a dangerous and horrible disease that it will make a person die instantly.

I don't know when I fell asleep At about 2: 50 in the morning, I suddenly heard someone knocking at the door crazily and woke me up directly. I heard my father shouting in a panic outside the door: Little Sally, get up quickly, your mother seems to have left! The aftermath of being awakened by someone has not passed yet. When I heard this sentence, I froze for two or three seconds, then opened the door crazily and rushed to the second floor to open the bedroom door. I saw my mother lying on it smoothly, as if she were asleep. My father has lost the ability to think, and told me that your mother is still soft and warm, which should be saved! I'll go up and feel my mother's pulse right away. It's gone and my breathing under my nose has stopped. My mother's head was completely frozen, and her eyes and mouth were bloodless, showing the lavender I saw when my grandfather died. In fact, from that moment on, I knew that my mother had left and would never come back. But I was lucky enough to take out my mobile phone and call the doctor at once. As our neighbors, the doctor and his wife immediately got up and came to my house to pinch people, breathe, feel their pulse and look at their pupils. ...

Yes, mom just went.

Do you know how I feel? My mother was alive before I went to bed, but in three hours, as soon as I closed my eyes and opened them, I lost my mother.

However, I have no time to be sad and I can't collapse, because many things still need me to deal with. I'll call my brother and sister right away. The phone is shaking and I can't find their number. The doctor saw him calling me, and I said no. I said to myself while turning over my mobile phone, be strong, be strong and don't panic. I finally got through. My brother and sister are exactly the same as me. They were silent for a while and said what was going on. I said I don't have time to elaborate with you. I took time off to buy the fastest ticket and hurried home. On the other hand, my dad is on the verge of collapse, and I'm afraid something will happen to him. If it happens, I will become an orphan. what can I do? Dad heard from the doctor that mom really went, so hurry up and prepare for the funeral. At first, he was a little rational, saying that his mother could not lie in bed directly and had to move to the first floor. I uncovered the quilt on my mother, only to find that she was wet. She wet the bed. Why didn't she leave clean when she left? The four of us couldn't move mom, so we moved in bed for a long time, only one place. Suddenly, I couldn't stand it, saying that she had left. Why are we doing this to her? Then my father hugged my mother and cried: Why did you leave without saying a word? We didn't fight. Why did you leave? I quickly calmed my dad down and said that there are still many things to deal with next, so you should be strong. After my father calmed down, he began to call his relatives and told them that his mother had left and asked them to come to my house quickly. I heard that they had left, thinking that my parents had quarreled and left home. My father held back his tears and said directly that my mother was dead. Then they were frightened and hurried to my house.

My uncles who live next door went upstairs to take my mother down from the upstairs and put her on the sofa. Some neighbors were awakened by the noise of my house, and they couldn't believe it when they learned about my house, because they saw my mother close the stall last night and were still talking to them at length. I wonder if the neighbor took out a gun from home and set it on fire. More neighbors woke up after hearing the gunshots and came to my house to help.

At that time, it was almost 3: 30 in the morning, and I knew nothing about the custom of someone dying in my family. Just when I was at a loss, my father, my mother, my second father and my second mother (we call my father's brother my second father and my father here) all arrived. They contacted the funeral shop and bought my mother a shroud and clean clothes to wear inside. When the clothes arrived, they asked me to fetch water to wash my mother's face and body, put on the clothes we just bought and put on gold and silver jewelry for her. Because you can't bring any metal into the ground, you should put away the towel that just wiped your mother's face and the clothes she took off from her body, burn it on the day of going to the grave, find out all her previous clothes, and cut off all the metal, buttons and zippers on them and throw them away. When burying mother, put the good clothes in the grave, burn them together on the day of going to the grave, throw away the bad ones, don't pick up the wrong ones, and put the father's clothes in.

After finishing these things, it will be about five after four o'clock. I went upstairs alone to tidy up my mother's clothes, ready to cut off the buttons and metal on them. I suddenly couldn't help it at that time. I cried loudly upstairs and called my best friend, and then I forced myself to go downstairs and cut buttons and metal because there were too many things to deal with. At present, I am the only one who must resist. My brother and sister are working outside and can't come back immediately. Dad's spirit depends on a string. In addition to not letting himself collapse, he also needs to stay awake to prevent physical problems and unnecessary troubles. He can't think about other things.

As Spring Festival travel rush Peak is about to celebrate the Spring Festival, my younger brothers and sisters can't buy tickets at all, so they have to brush them again and again. Moreover, there are too many things such as weddings and funerals at home during this time, and there is no way to invite the chef and Mr. Taoist to do things. All kinds of unsolvable things pile up together, and I am on the verge of madness anytime and anywhere. Fortunately, with the help of relatives and neighbors, things like chefs and Taoist priests were solved after dawn, because my brother and sister ran away from home. But a series of chores followed, and I didn't even have a chance to breathe.

At noon 12, my cousin went to pick up my 90-year-old grandmother. My grandfather died only six months ago, and now she wants grandma to send the white-haired people to the black-haired people. Her favorite daughter-in-law left without saying hello. We were all afraid that grandma couldn't stand going with her, and that he and his father were too sad to cry, so I sent my father to other places in advance. Grandma came home and cried in front of the mourning hall with her mother's body in her arms. At that moment, I never cried again. Afraid grandma would be too sad, we forced her to another room so that she wouldn't see her mother. But in the following days, grandma always quietly came to her mother's side and cried. She also touched her mother's body several times and told me that her mother was still warm. I doubt whether it is true, but I know that this is an inevitable process of physical rigidity after death. ...

It was almost two o'clock in the afternoon when my brother and sister finally got home. At that moment, I couldn't hold on any longer. We three brothers and sisters hugged each other and wept, then kowtowed to our mother, leaving our brothers and sisters to stay in Dai Xiao and handle many other chores together.

The worst time I cried was when the chef asked me if there were any rotten peppers in my house with a big bowl and used them. I don't need to spend money on them. I remembered there was, so I went to the jar where the bad peppers were put at home and opened it. There was only a little pepper left in the jar, and then I collapsed. I returned the bowl to the chef and asked him to buy it. Then I couldn't be strong anymore and cried in front of my father and sister. No one will buy me my favorite cherries and pork bellies until I come back! The three of us cried for a while, and my father told me not to cry, otherwise I couldn't help crying.

I don't know how to spend the next three days. There is only one feeling: tired! My heart is extremely painful and sad, but I must be strong to deal with many things. I can only cry quietly where no one sees me! There is basically no time to sleep for three days, and it is impossible to sleep for an hour every day. On the last day, I want to send my mother to the crematorium for cremation, but that day happened to be my period. Everyone told me not to touch my mother's body, because it would cause unlucky things. I didn't touch my mother at all on the last day, so I was very upset.

Don't want to write too many details. The more I write these scenes, the more deeply rooted they are in my mind. I just want to thank my relatives, neighbors and colleagues who gave me so much help during the funeral. Thank you for choosing a burial place for your mother, for piling up your mother's grave beautifully, for helping me to contact the chef to tear up the white cloth, for coming from afar to comfort me when you heard the news, for driving your mother to the crematorium for free in the early hours of the morning, for staying up late to chat with me, and for taking the initiative to take the wreath and mother's relics to her grave without anyone. Thank you for going to buy my mother's coffin with my father in the early morning, for digging a well for my mother's grave in the middle of the night, and for teaching me how to deal with funeral customs. ...

The funeral is finally over, but my life is still busy, because my mother died suddenly when the year is approaching. Before I died, my father and mother bought a lot of goods and wanted to sell them at the best time of the year to make some money, but I didn't want this to happen. Even if we were sad again, life would go on, so after the funeral, we began to sell things non-stop. My family sells stewed vegetables and frozen products, so until I go to work, my daily routine is to get up at six o'clock, set up my father's stall for stewing pig ears and beef, and start making breakfast at once. After that, I'll wake my brother and sister up. After breakfast, my brother will sell frozen chicken feet, frozen ducks and frozen chicken legs. I will chop roast duck and beef stew like crazy and get all kinds of seasonings, while my sister will help me and my father will be in the kitchen. In the meantime, I will cook three meals for them. I am a thin man of 162cm and 46kg. Every time you chop meat and vegetables, it is a great challenge to your wrists and arms. After ten days in a row, my arms and shoulders are sore. The hardest thing is that I have to remember when to go to my mother's grave, when to burn it and when to burn it. I'm exhausted. During that time, I ate a lot. Brothers and sisters are still not so sensible. Seeing that I am so busy, I don't even talk about taking the initiative to cook or anything. When the water boiled, I lifted the pot and put it aside. So, my whole face was broken during that time. Later, I finally couldn't help but say that everyone is in their twenties, so that they can be sensible. Although they still won't take the initiative to do things, as long as I call them, they will act immediately, which makes me feel much gratified. Thanks to the crazy busyness during that time, we have no extra time to think. I just want to sleep when I am busy every day, and I sleep as soon as I touch the pillow. I deeply understand the importance of being healthy and strong, and I secretly make up my mind that when things and mood calm down, I must exercise well and eat well. Good health is the most powerful support for life.

Looking back now, what scared and annoyed me most during that time was my fear of ghosts. On the first day of my mother's death, I didn't feel anything, but on the first night, I passed the room where my mother died crazily. I can touch my mother's cold fingers and head lying on the first floor, tidy up my appearance and straighten my fingers, because the old man told me that I can't let my mother die with her fingers bent, saying that this is a custom and will have some bad effects. I'm not afraid of my mother's health at all. My mother's bedroom is next to the stairs, so whenever I pass the bedroom where my mother died, or go upstairs and downstairs, my left side will feel a chill soaked in bones. I always feel that my mother's soul has been sitting on my left shoulder. After the funeral, I have to chat with my sister outside the bathroom when I take a shower. I dare not stay alone on the second floor. Later, after Mr. Taoist made a ceremony in that room, I eased up a little. I'm annoyed. She is your mother. Even if there is a ghost, why are you afraid of your mother? I told my father that I was afraid, but my father didn't say not to be afraid. Look, your mother is so kind to you. Every time you go home, she will prepare a lot of things you like to eat in advance. Your mother is a very gentle person. Don't be too scared. Intellectually, I believe in science and feel that there is nothing to be afraid of, but I still can't eliminate my inner fear. After my brother and sister came home, we slept on the third floor, and my brother slept in a room. My sister and I sleep in the same bed because I am afraid. Later, my brother and sister went to work earlier than me, which led me to sleep alone on the empty third floor for two or three days, and the bedroom was just below my mother. I forced myself not to be afraid. There was nothing wrong with the first day, but the next night, I always heard it. And basically every half an hour, at first I thought it was my father sleeping on the first floor who got up to go to the toilet. Later I thought it was the noise from someone else's house outside, and later I thought the wind blew the door shut or something. As a result, every time I was about to fall asleep and wake up, I felt something was wrong. I thought that if my mother's ghost came back to collect footprints, the more I thought about it, the more scary it would be. I was alone on the third floor, and after about six or seven times, I couldn't stand it. I thought I would be nervous if this continued, so I turned on the lights all the way from the third floor to the first floor. I saw that my father slept well, didn't go to the toilet, and there was no trace of the wind blowing on the door. It's quiet outside. There's no sound. I felt terrible, so I went back to the third floor and slept with the light on all night. As a result, the light was on and there was no sound. I told my father the next morning. My father didn't hear anything and asked me if I was too tired these two days, so I fell asleep in a daze, which is what we call a "ghost bed." But I know it's not. Because of my physical condition, I often get a "ghost bed" and even have several layers of sex. The feeling is so different, I am basically awakened every time. Up to now, I am also confused and afraid of this. Maybe I'm a little superstitious, but anyway, that fear is real.

It is also a particularly tiring thing to comfort my father's emotions and thoughts during this period. The 65-year-old father has been taken good care of by his mother over the years. What should he do if he lives at home alone? Let him live with me. What if my job prevents me from taking good care of him? And it will disrupt my life rhythm and keep me busy as a bee, but these are all things that must be considered. Fortunately, after more than ten days, my father's spirit has slightly returned to his daily state. He also wants to continue to do the original pot-stewed food business, but we three brothers and sisters don't allow him to do it. He is worried about what to do if the rest of the goods can't be sold, and what to do if the house can't be rented out without business. I made it clear at that time that if things can't be sold, I will throw them away, and if the house can't be rented, I will stay there. You are exhausted, and no amount of goods and houses can be exchanged. You just have to live well. He finally agreed, but fortunately, through the introduction of neighbors, someone directly rented our first floor store and gave them tools and other things for free. It's good to repair the damaged goods, and they also directly collected the extra goods at the cost price, which instantly reassured me. At first, my father was asked to live with me in my workplace. He said that he would not make a plan until his mother's burning was finished. Now he lives on the second floor of the house. I went home last weekend, moved what I needed on the first floor to the second floor in one day, and then cleaned up the house. Finally, this matter has come to an end and I can have a good rest.

During my work, I was always worried about how my dad would live without cooking, but my neighbors took good care of him and let him go to his house for dinner from time to time. At this moment, I deeply realized that distant relatives are not as good as close neighbors, and I also deeply realized the warmth of mutual concern between neighbors that I didn't have in the city. I also fully understand the truth that my mother taught me to be kind and kind to people. At the funeral, everyone said how polite my mother was and how to treat people. I suddenly understood why they helped our family so generously at the funeral.

Now my mind and things are almost handled, but I began to pay attention to my father's health and need to control my diet after a while. My life seems to be the same, but I know everything has changed. I will be super envious when I see the mother and son on the roadside, because I have no mother; Before, I didn't think it was necessary to worry too much about not getting married at the age of 27, but now I feel very sorry, because none of our three brothers and sisters got married and had children when my mother died. My mother has never met her son-in-law and daughter-in-law, nor her grandchildren. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't have another chance. I still regret not taking my parents out for a trip. A week before my mother died, I took a trip to Chengdu. I agreed to go with her at that time, but because I didn't have a ticket during my stay in Spring Festival travel rush, I only bought it for myself. I know there was a ticket suddenly on the day I left. I asked my mother if I would go, but she said I couldn't. Didn't we agree that you would take your father and me to Tiananmen Square to watch the flag-raising and climb the Great Wall during the summer vacation? I said yes, because I think they will definitely visit Tiananmen Square and the Great Wall, and I think there are many opportunities, so don't rush for a while. . But my mother died two days after I came back from Chengdu, and even the necklace I bought for her died only two days later, which became my biggest regret! If I travel with my mother, there will be many more photos of my mother!

……

That's it. This is before and after my mother's funeral.

Finally, write an old saying that everyone can hear cocoons in their ears: the tree wants to be quiet, but the wind will not stop, and the son wants to raise it instead of staying! Please cherish every moment when you get along with your parents, and take photos of your parents anytime and anywhere in your life, because when they leave, this is the only thing you can see that they existed, and your memory will fade, but when you see the photos, things about them will flood your memory and remind you of them!

Finally, finally, mom, you can rest in peace in heaven.

Mom, I love you!