A 60-year-old mother wrote her daughter a letter. What did she say to her?

A few days ago, on my 60th birthday, I received flowers and cakes from you early in the morning. I'm very happy, thank you.

In fact, you gave me a gift a few days ago, an expensive jade bracelet. I know I'm sixty years old. You wanted to give me a precious memory, and you did it. You not only inherited your father's seriousness and stubbornness, but also inherited my deep romance and innocence. You gave me one birthday present after another, and these days I have been immersed in great happiness.

You asked me to make a wish and blow out the candles. You asked me, like CCTV, "Mom, are you happy?" I smiled in my heart, nodded and said, "Happiness, happiness, especially happiness."

I am really grateful to God for giving you and your sister to me to spend the rest of my life with me.

You must not understand why I describe my first half of my life like this. I know that in my eyes, I am gentle, steady and gentle. You often make fun of me and say, "Mom, you look like a good woman with modesty on your face."

I'm usually noncommittal and smile. I don't know how to explain it to you. My mother was as naive as you decades ago, and dared to love and hate. It is the unpredictability of life. In the compromise with life, she has become such an old lady who is not aggressive and does no harm to people.

When you asked me if I was happy, I flashed countless pictures of you and your sister eating, sleeping, laughing and crying, as well as your father's warm, kind and honest face.

Your father is a good man. He spoiled me when I was young and protected me when I was old, but you know, a person's ability and strength are always limited.

He couldn't stay at home when you were very young, so he couldn't protect me when I had problems with my neighbor Aunt Zhang.

Aunt Zhang, who sells pork, was very arrogant when she was young. I am always so angry that I can't find a word to describe her. His Lao Wang will shake a pig knife at me with mirth, and your father will probably hand Lao Wang a few boxes of cigarettes when he comes back from a business trip, which will make people excuse me.

At that time, when I was young, I had a fierce argument with your father. I asked him why he couldn't kick it with three fists and two feet and take it out on me. You know, your father is very kind, and it is not easy to deal with a neighbor.

But your dad always comforted me to put up with it.

Then I will put up with it. I will endure the rudeness of my neighbors, your dad's compromise, your dad's smelly socks flying around, your perfectionist demands, your sister's little moves, the chicken feathers of life ... for most of my life.

I am sixty years old. Today, my mother wants to tell you the truth. Happiness is real, and so is regret.

I regret not bravely falling in love with the guy I liked when I was 20 years old, because your grandparents liked your father, so I didn't resist marrying your father.

Over the years, with the passage of time, the shadow of that person has already vanished in my heart, but it is not that person that often reminds me and worries me, but that thing, that thing that I can't bravely pursue my heart.

A few days ago, your cousin showed me a photo of a young man and asked me how I was. I looked at that young man with a kind heart and asked her a few words casually, only to know that they were not close friends, but only met once at a friend's party.

But now she asks me how I am, and I know she has an idea. In fact, what she really wants to ask is, "I just want to ask out because I am handsome." Is this right? "

You must be very surprised how my mother became so straightforward and dared to talk about "dating" with her daughter. I learned this with WeChat after I retired. My mother has been there before, so my mother's opinion is: about!

As long as you like it and want to know more, mom will support you to ask boys out for dinner and movies, or invite more friends to come out together and get to know each other through group activities. Youth is short, and your true feelings and thoughts are precious. You should be worthy of them.

We'll make another appointment if you like. If you don't like it, stop. But you should know how to protect yourself and be responsible for others.

I also regret not following your uncle's advice to give up literature and become an artist.

You know, your uncle and I both inherited your grandfather's literary cells. We can talk and sing. Your uncle developed well, entered the drama academy, and has been singing and acting, making him famous in the local area.

He pursued me many years ago, but I dare not quit my job as a teacher, because I want to earn money to support you and your sister and make your life better. To paraphrase a popular format, "You can't pursue your dreams if you hold them, and you can't support them if you hold them."

I chose the former, but I hope you choose the latter.

Don't you like writing articles? Mom is your big backing. You can resign without income. Mom supports you. Don't be afraid, as long as you stick to it, you will get something. Before you break through the fog and see the bright moon, mom can't stop you from pursuing your dreams just because you are overwhelmed by the burden of life.

Life is bitter enough and plain enough. How can you make your blood boil without ideals?

But what I regret most is that I didn't live as myself, but as an ordinary woman in the eyes of your mother, your father's wife and others.

Seriously, I've been too busy these years to sit down and review. I have traveled for most of my life, and I want to summarize the following experience for you.

Speaking of which, my mother has to thank this era. It is the rapid development of spiritual civilization in this era. It has not given up those of us who are about to get old, and has given us the opportunity to contact smart phones and WeChat, so that I can constantly update my thoughts and keep up with your footsteps.

You don't need to praise your mother's avant-garde progress, because Aunt Zhang, a neighbor who sells pork, has long been elegant. She sends me chicken soup for the soul every day, and some of them are made by herself, not to mention, very elegant.

Aunt Zhang, who cared so much for her husband and son when she was young, has now given up babysitting her son and daughter-in-law, and she is very happy and at ease. She said, "How old are you, but you live for yourself."

This is a place worth learning and telling you, because I think living for myself is a principle that an adult woman must always remember, regardless of age.

You don't need to please the old things that this society seems to have established. You don't owe us a good daughter, a good mother of a child, a good wife of a husband and a good woman of the environment. The only thing you may owe yourself is a basic principle of doing whatever you want and a happy appearance.

I have some understandings about love and marriage, and I want to share them with you.

Because the love of love is as important as the love of family, and it may accompany you all your life. I tell it to you because I want to tell you my position, so that you don't always misunderstand my old traditions and always want to break my old ideas.

Listen to the following.

First of all, you can marry anyone you want. It doesn't matter what degree you have in the garage. Who do you think you can be happy with?

I believe it is not difficult to create good material conditions with the experience and knowledge of young people now, provided that you take it home and let us know. Don't worry, your father will be open-minded enough to me, and we will respect your love and final choice. You don't have to steal your ID card to register. It's so funny that it hurts your marriage.

You can get married whenever you want. Even if you are unmarried like Xu, I may not understand, but I will definitely support you.

Not long ago, you posted an article in a circle of friends, saying that a mother couldn't stand her husband who always flicked ash into a flowerpot, and chose to divorce and start a new life. I know the article will spread all over the circle of friends, because it represents the marital position of many modern women.

Marriage is no longer the grave of love, nor the besieged city written by Shen Congwen, but the way you are loyal to yourself. If you love, you will love deeply. Let go if you don't love.

You and your sister are married, and the above two articles are written for the baby fans in your number (you all call it that, and I call it that). I think one of them must have a mother like me, but you misunderstood.

Third, you can live if you want to, but you can't live if you don't want to. You want a second child, you need it, or you don't want it, you don't want it.

Your stomach is not for men, let alone for your mother-in-law. Your mother gave it to you. No one can scare you except me. Of course, you know that after I am 60 years old, I still rely on you to send me a birthday present to ask me if I am happy. I must obey you unconditionally.

A few days ago, the woman behind Jason Wu, Iola, made a high-profile announcement that she would not have any more children. Public opinion praised her for daring to jump out and say no when someone gave her a virtuous woman.

Does she want to tell the public that she won't have a second child, doesn't need to wear any top hat, doesn't even know herself, doesn't need the establishment, praise and top hat of those people, and wants to live the life she wants?

Therefore, when you have to change or even wronged yourself because of some external pressure after marriage, please refer to Iola's living method and sincerely praise it.

Fourth, you don't have to please anyone, including but not limited to all the contacts in your husband's family.

Your husband's family is important. You should keep a humble smile, treat all rich and poor relatives equally, and actively and enthusiastically communicate in various manners, but don't have a bottom line.

Being respected by others will never come from flattery, but from your ability, achievements, money and what you can do. Instead of trying to please others in order to change a life without distractions, it is better to turn yourself into a better self.

The relationship between colleagues and friends is the same as above.

Depression and jumping off buildings are often reported on the internet, which makes people shudder and feel distressed. After reading those stories, I feel deja vu. Those family conflicts have not changed much since ancient times. I wonder if women are really weak forever? Really can't walk out of the quagmire of pain and can only choose to swallow everything silently?

Not necessarily.

What many girls lack now is a mother who supports them to tear. I think since the artistic conception of life is so bad that a girl has stood on the terrace above several times and tried to commit suicide, her mother might as well tear it up with her daughter and get over it.

Divorce? Not afraid. Divide property? Not afraid. Bad for children? Living well is really good for children.

Come on, say something that makes you feel wronged, and shed tears that you want to shed but dare not. It's time for your mother to go on stage. After eating salt and crossing the bridge for so many years, your mother didn't fool around for nothing.

Haha, what can I say? I call myself a gangster, not a boss. It's just that I've been a mother for so many years and I'm invulnerable.

You heard all the above. Have you written it down? Do you still want to get rid of my old ideas? ! hahaha.

In short, my mother hopes that you and your sister can be happy, safe and more free, free from any pressure from the environment and public opinion, and free to live your own life in the way you like.

Mom can get by in this life, but I hope you can have a good time. Do you think mom is 60 like 16? How can you be more conservative than me when you are only 26 years old? Go ahead and have a good experience!